The funniest "edited for TV" movie moments
 

You know how they dub over swear words, etc. when they play movies on network TV? Well I want to know what you think is the funniest example of bad editing to get a movie "safe for TV"

Mine HAS to be "Showgirls", which they play on VH1 all the time. In every scene where there is nudity (i.e. 75% of the movie), they have drawn in some poorly animated "bras" or "panties" over the actresses. The quality of the animation is SOOOO poor. There is no shading or anything, just a solid colored shape floating over the body. It's hilarious.

I've seen that in showgirls. I was like "Why bother?" It's so FLIPPIN' ridiculous.

I'll never forget watching Ferris Bueller's Day Off and Breakfast Club on TBS or whatever. My first introduction to dubbing over the curses.

"Are you giving her the hot beef injection?" becomes "Are you giving her the hot wild affection?"

-Mikey

I think if they aren't going to show a movie the way it was made and intended to be seen by the writer/director they shouldn't even bother showing it.

I liked how Comedy Central decided to show South Park the movie unedited really late at night. Balls

How about in Dogma when they dub over female vioces with male voices?

I like how "ass hole" is edited to "ass beep". I understand how ass hole is worse than ass, but not how hole is worse than ass.

How about when USA cuts 45 minutes from Dazed and Confused because of all the drug use... that is the worst movie to ever see on tv...

I found Scarface amusing, as every other word is the f word, so half the sound is missing...

There's a REALLY funny skit MadTV did of what it would be like if PAX showed episodes of the Sopranos. It's in this Yahoo groups folder for now in QT format, check it out...

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SOPRANOSFORUM/files/

-Mikey

Damn. You beat me to the Scarface answer. There are so many dropouts and bleeped out words that the movie sounds like a 2 hour rap song.

TV version of Mallrats. Mewes' lines are all redone.

I love this topic, because it gives me the chance to mention what i always thought was the most hilarious case of editing for t.v. Years ago, when the original Ghost Busters came to t.v., there was an incident of imaginative t.v. dubbing. The original dialogue went something like this :
Dan Akroyd:" Dickless here made us release the ghosts. "
Mayor: "Is this true?"
Bill Murray "Yes, its true, this man has no dick."
The dubbed dialogue was:
"Walley Wick here made us release the ghosts" "Is this true?" "Yes, this man is some kind of rodent, I don't know which."
That killed me, "this man is some kind of rodent, I don't know which" remains, to this day, one of my favorite sayings.

I loved the TV version of Mallrats...leon2345 already beat me to it.
I just cannot remember what they changed the whole "backseat of a VW" to. It had nothing to do with sex, is all I remember.

I can't understand censoring anything, but Austin Powers on TBS where they dub in "Do I make you RANDY" for Do I make you HORNY"

I guess it's OK to be hot and bothered in England, but not in America!!

another one is MTV editing the line in Bottom of a Bottle when they sing "I do it for the drugs"-- who can watch MTV without already being on drugs!

in england they don't edit films anymore, but they used to a few years ago.

Two moments that stick in my mind are in Die Hard when they changed "Yippee kye aye, mother fucker" to "Yippee kye aye, kimosabe"

And in The Last Boy Scout they changed "He was fucking his wife" to "He was popping his wife". The funny thing was, it sounded nothing like bruce willis, it was more like a womans voice!

I remember watching Die Hard 1 & 2 on TV with a bunch of classmates on a school trip right before 3 was coming out, we were laughing our asses off as Bruce Willis yelled 'Yippee Kye aye You Clowns'

I wonder how many different 'edited for TV' overdubs they had to make.

Casino was playing on TV a few months ago, I didn't bother watching it since I figured it would be so edited that it would be unwatchable.

... and the movie's about 20 minutes long.

No Kevin Smith movie should be watched on tv. It's almost a crime the way they cut them.

Recently I heard this come out as "Yippee ki yay, Mr. Falco". But, who is Mr. Falco?

My personal favorite is from the Running Man

Original version
Arnold: Hey I know you, you're the asshole on TV.

TV Edit
Ah-nold: Hey I know you, you're the animal on TV.

Now that in itself isnt that funny, it's just with the shot of Arnie and the fact that he says the line veeerryyy slooooowwwwly means that anyone, and I do mean anyone, can read his lips clear as day.

**Shudder** just trying to imagine what the porno movie titles from Clerks would be on TV...

Oh man, have I got an edited moment. I was watching Blazing Saddles on the Fox Family channel a year or two ago with my family and stuff. They get to the scene where they're all sitting around the fire eating beans. Each cowboy then lifts up his rear and...no sound!... they took out the freakin farts!!!

Every single fart sound frome very single cowboy was gone!!! And then that one guy walks in waving his hat and is all "I think you've had enough". What smells!? They just raised their asses in the air for some weird reason... Why they cut that part I may never know...

damn.. now that's hysterical...

In one of the Bill and Ted's movies, one of them calls the other fag. After editing it became "Fleurg!"

wth...

I think that it is pretty funny in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" when Ferris says that Cameron is so tight that if you put a piece of coal in his ass, in a week it would be a diamond. Edited for tv, ass became "fist", even though you could still plainly read his lips.

Don't remember which movie but "son of a bitch" became "slug in a ditch". Boo.

I'd have to say when I saw Die Hard with a Vengeance on TV. Instead of Yippy-Ky-Yay mother fucker, it was Yippy-Ky-Yay Mr. Funk. I shit you not.

-Lasereth

My favorite was on "The Rock:"

Shawn Connery says: "Loser try their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen"

Edited version: "Losers try their best. Winners go home and DATE the prom queen"

I found this hilarious, because I sure go HOME and DATE my girlfriend (Lorel).

Some time last year, Robocop was heavily edited, and aired. (I think on USA) I refused to watch it, on principles. I love that movie, and I still think it's the most violent movie ever made, and I know they had to have cut it to hell.

I saw Army of Darkness on the USA Network. The main character's (Ash) evil clone says "I'm Bad Ash, and you're good Ash." But the fools at USA must've thought he was saying something else because they edited out both Ashes to just "I'm Bad --- and you're Good ---."