Worst Local TV Commercials
 

Assuming you don't Tivo past all your commercials now, describe the worst ones produced locally for your local channels.

There is a place nearby called "Hussey's Tire Jungle," and it's where you go to buy new and used tires. The commercials start out with a beautiful girl standing behind a split rail fence, and she's apparently nude. She says (in a ridiculously exaggerated southern accent), "Got a minute? I'd like to show you something really fantastic!" Then they cut to shots of the business, the inventory, the employees, etc., while a voice-over describes everything. The commercial ends with the beautiful girl now standing in front of the fence wearing a bikini, and you realize that she was clothed all the time and the fence rails were simply hiding her bathing suit. Hahahaha, right? Then, it closes with a tight shot on her face and upper torso as she says, "Come on over to see The Hussey," as she winks.

Everybody in this entire area cannot say the phrase "Got a minute" without copying her ridiculous drawl.

A Chicago classic. I believe it was featured on Late Night with David Letterman at one point.

And then there's the sequel with Mancow...


Oh here's another terrible classic.

From the Seattle area, we have Vern Fonk Insurance... I won't post all the videos here, but I guarantee that if you click through the youtube links, you'll find one that you find among the best commercials of all time... but here's a couple:

(this one is two, just wait...):


This one aired right after 9/11:

Hey, SM, this dude is a celebrity in Montgomery, just a hop, skip and a jump from where we live. He was even on Ellen.

I can't find the Paul from the Diamond Center commercial "Credit Man". It used to be one of my favorites as a young lad.

Denver will never have worse commercials than the ones for Rocky's Autos, featuring Shagman, Officer O'Dell and Audra.

There's a car salesman named Don Moore in my area. He had a commercial a long time ago where the Narrator would say "It's hot, Don!" and Don would say, "You can say that again!" and of course he repeats, "It's hot, Don!". I swear everyone in the tri-state area did that little routine when talking about the summer weather. It's been at least 10 years since the commercial's been used and I STILL hear people saying it.

There is a trend down here in Dixie where ALL car dealers, plumbers, electricians, and mechanics use their marble-mouthed rugrat children in the commercials. And you can't understand a damn thing the kids are saying.

All I can figure out is that there must be a marketing handbook somewhere that advises hicks to use their stupid kids in the commercials, because they ALL do it.

And thanks to SM and Grancey for reminding me about Sammy's Furniture Flea Market in Montgomery. It's almost surreal to have that thing pop in during a TV show.

No local restaurant should ever create a television ad. They never have the right lighting, so the food always looks nasty and the environment filthy.

the very fact that there is a thread dedicated to the ads prove they at least did their job. ads are meant to get a message across and for the message to stick in your minds. so even if they are poorly produced, you still remember it. that may not mean you'll check out the business, but there are plenty who will just because they remember the ad when they want something.

Anything by Luna.

When Grancey and I were held captive in Mississippi for 6 years, we had to endure a local ambulance-chaser's commercials named Richard Schwartz. All the ads were the typical personal-injury stuff - "If you are a lazy bum and you'd like to force someone to fork over wads of cash to your sorry ass for no reason, call me..." However, all of the ads (television and print ads) ended with Richard Schwartz giving a horribly goofy smile into the camera and saying, "One call, that's all!"

When we were released from captivity and returned to live in Alabama, one of the first things I noticed was a local personal-injury attorney's commercials that ended with the exact same goofy smile and "One call, that's all." His name is Ken Nugent.

Do any of you have the same ads in your area, but with a different attorney? I'm intrigued by the notion of a spiderweb of attorneys all using the same tagline.

Gallery Furniture :shakehead:.

True. I'd go so far as to say they are intentionally produced to be crass.

For example, here, we have a local appliance business that has a loud-mouthed girl in a ugly print dress parading up and down aisles of appliances shouting the latest deals. They've run this same ad for years and it's likely, for many more to come....they aren't interested in producing a polished commercial. They are only interested in you remembering their ad and getting you to their store. Apparently it works!

I haven't seen any commercials in Denver using that tagline but reading your reply reminded me of a local attorney, Frank Azar who runs awful commercials running the tagline "Call in the strong arm!"


and while searching Youtube for that clip I found another attorney, Brian Loncar in Dallas using the same tagline.


And also your post about people using their kids in commercials reminds me of The Mattress King ads around here. For years they have been using the young son in the ad, usually having him dressed up or acting like a complete dork. He is probably about 15 now still doing those ads and I can't help but feel sorry for him, I have to imagine he gets his ass kicked at school on a daily basis.

Maybe I'm just drunk, but none of the other videos that have been posted are even remotely as funny as the Vern Fonk commercials I posted.
I mean come on... seriously...

Anything that had Dell "Superdell" Schanze in it:

Dell Schanze - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The Cashman! Seriously, I'd sometimes like to punch him in the face.



These aren't even the worst. There's one of him dressed in Superman tights as The Cashman. Some people shouldn't wear tights.

NSFW
I thought this was appropriate for the thread, even though it's not real.