"Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder" Cliche Bullshit, or fact?
 

"Absence Make the Heart Grow Fonder" Cliche Bullshit, or fact?
Ha, my ex said that he believes in this. Basically saying that in time, he'll want to be with me again. Personally I think it's bullshit, what do you ladies think. Have you ever had an experience where this quote applies???

I don't really know. If absense makes the heart grow fonder then why is out of sight out of mind?

The one time I had some cheating fool say that to me (he didn't think I knew he was cheating on me while he was away in another city) I quickly responded with:

If absence truly makes the heart grow fonder, then you should try staying away a little bit longer.

Never saw him again.

I don't know...I think it makes you more horny. I mean, if your strictly talking about a SO going on a trip somewhere for a while or something..when they come back you want them more than ever. I think when you are separated from someone you love for a while then when you finally get back together everything seems so good. It's only because you both want to please the other because you haven't been around. There isn't anything to fight about because they haven't been around. So generally, a *short* absence prolongs the inevitable fighting. Therefore it appears as though the heart has grown "fonder" at least for a little while.

Yea, I'm afraid he's just saying that to get me off his back. However we have been through a bunch of things most of them being painful. I just can't treat him well, thinking about all the terrible things he has done to me. Maybe in time I will forget, and I can heal. Just wanted to shoutout to StormBerlin; nice ass girly!!

Oh, thanks sweetie :) I hope you find the peace you're looking for and I hope I can speak on behalf of all the girls here, we will support you throughout your journey :)

I think it's a lot like what indigochild was saying - when you don't see someone for a while, you do want to be with them more initially simply because you miss the time/attention you previously had. Of course, the real test comes from whether you want to continue spending time together once the 'honeymoon' period has ended. Good luck with everything! :)

Just makes me annoyed and PMS-ie...

When Biznatch goes away..well yea the horny factor ups..but for some reason i'm always dissapointed when he comes back..

or let me re-phrase...when i'm not around him or dont get to talk to him for a long time i dream him larger then life..

when he comes back its not what i expect or remember

so i get annoyed and it takes soem time to readjust :)

Hubby used to be in the Marines and he'd leave for six months at a time...things sure were *fonder* when he got back!!! I think it was just the lack of affection/closeness though, because it wears off in time and things are back to the way they used to be.

I wouldn't say the quote applied to exes. Because what's done is done and there's no sense revisiting.

But as far as significant others go, I think there's some truth. You really miss them and appreciate the times you spend together more when you're away for awhile. I don't think absence necessarily prolongs the "inevitable fights" because I don't think it has to be that way. At least not in a horrible way. My boyfriend and I always work out our little "fights" and I feel so at ease when we do. The other day, I practically fell in love with him all over again..

I'd say it's just a cliche. People (unless they are already very close) grow apart when they are apart. The only time absence has made my heart grow fonder is when I haven't liked a person - I tend to forget why I didn't like them the more time I spend away from them.

I think that a more appropriate term would be "you always want what you can't have". That's the theory I go by with my ex boyfriend. He is much nicer since we broke up (I broke up with him), and now that I am engaged.

so do you think it's worthwile to stay friends/in contact with an ex?
I have not done this... Because I don't like them and that period of my life is over.
But it is kind of interesting to see how little they've changed... :P

to some extent, it might be true. some distance apart makes one miss all the tenderness and forget all the tediousness in a relationship, but the premise is that two must like each other enough to start with and the parting is only temporary. being apart for an extended period of time only makes people grow apart; the little fondness grown out of absense every now and then, if any, would not be enough to hold the relationship together.

i agree that a short absence from a sig. other that you are in love with can make the heart grow fonder. but with an ex? nope. i've missed ex's even though i broke up with them--but it was just a matter of removing myself from the relationship and not having to focus on the bs all the time. the really great memories and all the potential of the relationship is what i miss--not the guy himself.

on a brighter note, i do recall a study a while back that marriage between people who dated, broke up and then got back together years later are less likely to end in divorce...

Yes. When it comes to booty absence definately does make the heart grow fonder. When, for whatever reason, my husband and I haven't had sex in a while, it makes me want him more. Crazy. If it's because AF is in town, it definately has to do with you want what you can't have. We don't have sex while I'm on my period, so since I can't have him (sexually), I crave him even more.

I don't think that quote applies to past relationships. The longer I don't see my ex or have any contact with him the happier I am. I don't miss him at all.

I don't think absence makes the heart grow fonder. My boyfriend and I are separated during the summer months because we live about 2800 miles apart when not in college and it doesn't make me love him any more. I miss him and want to see him, but I don't pine away for him until we are able to meet again.

I think it's both cliche bullshit and fact. Just depends on the relationship.

I had a college professor who would give us little nuggets of information. One of them was "Depending on your relationship, when you're apart from your love, it'll be either one of two things: Absence makes the heart grow fonder or Out of sight, out of mind."

And I agree. Dr. Bolton was a smart man...

When it came to my ex-boyfriend, for me it was the fonder aspect, for him it was out of sight, out of mind. Which manifested itself in him cheating. And once we broke up, after a couple of months I was finished. I didn't miss him, I didn't care. Out of sight, out of mind.

With my boyfriend now, we're 6 hours apart by car. I get to see him at least once a month, so it's not too bad normally. But there are days when I miss him terribly. Does our time apart make me love him more? No, I don't think so. But it doesn't make me love him any less. Luckly in this age of emails, chatting and cell phones we keep in contact daily. If I couldn't talk to him at all for the time we're apart... I'm not sure how I would handle that.

But I'll get to see him in less than 12 hours. Hooray!