Men who lurk in the Ladies Lounge...
 

Hi all!

I just finished reading a thread over in Chatter that gave the Ladies Lounge a big bravo for the quality of our posts and conversation.

While i was glad to hear the "bravo"... What really struck me is how blind i was in really thinking this was a space for LADIES ONLY.

Of course, had i thought about it, i could have figured out that men do lurk in here... and probably more often than we all think...
i hate to admit this... but it may effect how i post in the future... as there is something to be said for having a place that is "all our own"...

that said... i'm not stating that i am offended that men lurk... i guess i should have thought it through further...

it's just a reality that i might not be as "open" as i am when i know it's just "me and the girls".

*shrug*... any other ladies feel this way?


edited because i can't friggin spell! :p

I just pretend they are not there. Works for me.

hm, i've always felt the 'presence' of men lurking in here..

and it honestly doesn't bother me a bit.

so long as i don't get any weirdo's trying to approach me directly about anything i've said in here...

i don't mind at all and am afaik just as honest as i would be if it were 'just us girls'.

and honestly, i hope men are always allowed to be in here if they so desire..just no posting, of course.


i guess i just like to think i'm contributing to some sort of enlightenment or something ;)

i really do agree with this... i want to make clear that my post isn't an ANTI-MEN post...

for the most part... i am who i am... man or woman... i don't belive in putting on different "faces" or any of that other game playing CRAP that people can get caught up in with the opposite sex...

i just realized that to a certain degree... i am a bit different in how i share when it's a "female confidence" so to speak...

I do not mind them being here. Hopefully some of our posts might actually have them see certain things that are important to us that they might not realize otherwise.

Guys need all the help they can get. So indirectly we are all tutoring them!!

I like the idea of having a place for us gorgeous gals to hang out and feel free to talk about whatever we please. Yet, it's a fact that some guys are going to come and see what the hell it is we are talking about....I don't mind that much and like Nikki says....a little insight into the minds of women sure can't hurt them! :D

I don't mind guys lurking in here ... what makes me think twice is if my husband was to read my posts! Sometimes I get a little too personal for his liking and I just don't wanna have to put up with that. "Our business is OUR business .. no one elses" is his thinking. But I'm a chick and I like to chat. ;)

Same with my hubby, but so long as it's a message board and not a one on one conversation it seems to be okay. He'd just rather if I need to get long and drawn out on something, that it be with him, and I can understand that. I just don't always adhere as I need to talk right then and he's at work... but for the most part, I toe the line for him, turn off the computer and try and forget what was bugging me til he gets home.

Penguix, read, don't post.

If I get personal with my posts its about our sex life or something like that. Never if I am pissed off at him. He just doesn't think I need to let other people know what kind of 'freaks' we are. ;) He is a VERY private person ... and its no ones business if I bring home girls for him. lol

I never really thought about it either. I don't really care ....I didn't even know if Alpha phi came in here...I asked him and he said no...."because it's like installing a spy cam in a ladies bathroom." Makes sense to me...Doesn't change how I post in here....cheers to the ladies lounge!!!!

My life is practically an open book. I have nothing to hide. And I know that redravin40 reads most of, if not all of my posts (Ladies Lounge included). Does it bother me that he does this? No. I actually like it because it keeps me from having to explain things over again that I've already typed about.

Does it bother me that "strange" men are reading these same things? No. I'm reading their posts, too.

If there was something I really didn't want people to know about me or my thoughts, I wouldn't type about it.

And you ladies are doing a great job :)

THANKS everyone for you're input...

what i find so fascinating is how often VT can become miscombobulated in abyss that is my mind... *chuckle*

it's like... all i needed too see was the Title... "LADIES LOUNGE, No Men Allowed"... and i naively think, oh... only women are going to be in here...

of course, since their is no "bouncer" at the door checking gender... the fact is that men could very well be lurking... and perhaps even posting, under the guise of a female persona... didn't really occur to me until TODAY...

i've encountered this on many other different sites an it never really bothered me... i'm just mystified by my continued AIRHEADEDNESS in this regard... *laugh*

that said... i'll reiterate what i said before... i'm not upset that men lurk in here... but knowing that fact does somehow change how i originally perceived this space...

*shrug*... my mind is a complicated and sometimes scary place... *chuckle*...

thanks for all your comments!

Re: Men who lurk in the Ladies Lounge...
 

Men do not lurk here, all is in the open for everyone on the TFP for reading. MEN just cannot participate in this forum.

(UNLESS they are like me, ofcourse.)

Anyone infringing on that rule, REPORT them so I can delete them or issue a "Smack-down".

Re: Re: Men who lurk in the Ladies Lounge...
 

Buddah... you are right... i didn't mean to imply anything negative... i was just parroting the word "lurk" as a couple of men who posted used that terminology...

didn't mean to offend anyone... was just sort of "thinking out loud"...

Since I'm married and Hubby's the one who introduced me to TFP I was aware from the start that guys lurked here. It would be nice in a small way that they didn't since I would feel more free to vent when Hubby's being irritating and I need someplace to get advice on how to deal with it. Otherwise I don't post any different. I don't really come to post at the ladies lounge all that often. But if I post anywhere here once or twice a day I'm doing good for me. Guys lurking are ok with me. Guys not looking would be marginally better I think.

I for one am glad guys can READ the things we post. I mean honestly they don't know us personally so they can't associate a story with a face. All they get is an idea of how some woman somewhere is thinking and they get to see how it may or may not differ from their own view. Think of this forum as an unsensored women's column in a newspaper. A smart guy will see it as an opportunity to learn even if it just as a spectator. An even smarter guy will take what he learns and use it to improve a relationship with a girl he actually knows. This goes for all of our topics from sex tips to chick flicks to just how damn cool we are ;)

BTW I don't hold anything back when I write simply because the risk of typing your thoughts and sending them over an unsecure phone line through countless servers and systems is about as private as yelling out who your secret crush is during a school assembly and hoping nobody heard you. More people than you can dream of have access to everything you say over the internet. So why censor your thoughts for a few guys "lurking" our lounge?

I dont mind... they only read in here to get advice :)

In my opinion it's good that men can read our posts,for one it might give them some insight to how we feel or really what we want from them,if the subject matter dictates.
Men are alot like us women very curious about certains or matters.Are they not the ones that have said since the beginning of time,"What is it that women want"? Well giving them this chance to read what we write will give them this knowledge,thats if they can actually understand what we are trying to get across.No that is no slight towards men,it's just that sometimes we can pour out our feelings on what we want or don't want and they still can't understand.
So guys,those who are reading these posts,read,listen and try to understand where we are coming from,you might just get a better lover or friend out of it all.

fyi... after reading all of your posts... and spending some time thinking about it... i have relaxed in my view on this one...

i agree with most of you all... perhaps it a good thing that the men can come in here and "watch" how we talk, what we talk about... the whole process of communication without any male input...

i guess at first i naively thought of this place as 100% male free... and knowing that they were here "lurking" threw me for a loop...

that said... read to your hearts contents guys! ... you never know... you just might learn something ... ;)

*shrug* I don't think it really bothers me much.... it's one of those universal truth's - guys will peak (or is that peek - my spelling ain't what it ought to be). On the other hand - I would too so I can't complain ;)

it's hte 2-e version ;)

Thankyas :)

I've thought about this a little more since last night and I think I'd be more insulted if guys didn't lurk here. After all - surely what we're interesting people who talk about all sorts of things that everyone would be interested in? ;)

well that, adn I know personally best way to make me want something is to say I can't have it. ;)

I haven't posted much because I just joined yesterday. But I knew that guys were lurking because my husband told me about TFP and the Ladies Lounge. I have to agree with blueskies about my husband if I posted anything to imtimate I think he would get pissed. Although nobody knows who we are I just don't know. And about guys lurking I think you guys already told my husband things he never knew. I think guys have no idea about what we want and if they can come here and read some things and somebody has a better sex life for it I'm all for it.
Thanks,
Amethyst

I was saddened today to read the post in general discussion re our lounge.
I do not think we are "men-haters or men-bashers" in any way shape or form.
We are free to talk about sex toys or who we think is hot, we share problems and we have jokes. Same as the guys, but because they are not allowed to post some take it as an insult somehow, it would seem, and get nasty.
I don't see much men-bashing here.....in fact I find a lot of the ladies of TFP were introduced by their SO and if anything there is a whole lotta love out there! :)
I guess it just hurt that that thread was so demeaning to our little chunk of TFP. I hope it doesn't screw up other men's opinions. :(
Just my two cents worth.

I read that thread too, and it really pissed me off, it's not like guys in tfp never complained about women, never make jokes about women. It's all in good spirit until someone decides to take it much too seriously. I hate that.

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone"

Minx, lafemmefatale - You both hit the nail on the head. It's quite alright for the men to tell jokes about "stupid" women, saying that all women can't drive, cook, etc... that we're all just pieces of meat to have their ways with... just read the jokes in Tilted Humor or the responses to any post in the Titty Board.

We women tell ONE joke about men and all of a sudden we are "men bashing". These men need to get a grip on reality and lighten up. We will not censor ourselves just because "men are looking". They don't censor themselves when they talk about "dumb blondes".

Anyway, my actual thought on the subject, after that little rant:

Any man who gets upset about anything we've posted in this forum is not a man, but a child. It's a pure sign of immaturity. Most, if not all, REAL men are accepting of the fact that we are not bashing anyone, and respect our space.

*sigh* There'll always be men who take any joke or criticism as men-bashing. On the other hand - there are plenty of women who take any kind of flattery as harassment. Fragile ego's know no boundary of race or sex... :(

That thread started off as a real downer and I was so tempted to add a comment, but decided it would be more interesting to see how it would play out. I'm glad I did, because some of the more enlightened males added their thoughts and some very good stuff came out. I am so impressed with the level of respect that many of the men here have for us! (But I have never felt like such a minority...only 1% of us are female? We better keep speaking up!)

By the way girls I go under miked10270 but my name is Iona and I hail from "sunny" Scotland!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

So do not think that I am a guy pretending to be a girl

Iona

Welcome Iona...err miked :crazy:

Double D you are so right...I was tempted to post a reply as well, I was pretty mad so I waited a bit and am glad I did. Most of the men that posted in our defence did so very eloquently and I think it carried more weight that way.

LET THEM LOOK....THEY MIGHT LEARN SOMETHING.LOL

i got an im from a man who'd been lurking in the ladies lounge ... a bit disconcerting, but i can still pretend they're not there.

I can only state that just because a guy is "lurking" does by no means keep me from stating my opinon. I would be myself and not worry about censorship or what others think, in that way i guess I am more confident that my beliefs are mine alone and no one has to like them or conform to them. They are just THAT, My Opinion! I do however expect that people respect my opinions even if they do not like them.
As far as my significant other seeing them I dont have that worry because I am open and honest with him and am very secure in my relationship.