foreplay - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

dana · 11-15-2003, 02:05 PM

Gee,
Everyone talks as if they have a husband that likes to go down on them. My husband gave that up after we were married two years ago. If I push is hand down south he will play with my thing, but thats about all. What do you gals suggest that I do? I can not imagine staying with him much longer.

emidew22 · 11-15-2003, 02:18 PM

Do you give him blow jobs? Cause if you do, there is no reason why he should think he can get away without returning the favor. But if you've both given up on oral sex, maybe you should tell him that you'd really like to suck his cock while he goes down on you or something. Or just tell him what it is that you need. If you aren't saticified, then don't saticify him. It doesn't take much to get a guy in the mood, but women need a little more. Tell him that he's great in bed, but the sex with him would be even better if he went down on you for a bit first. It's hard to say what will get him to treat you a little more with out knowing why he doesn't do it to begin with though.

dana · 11-15-2003, 03:18 PM

Before we were married, we really had a good sex life together. I think we tried almost every position including anal sex, which I liked. But shortly after we were married his sister started going to church and it wasn't long and he decided to go with her. Now he hardly even touches me.

sillygirl · 11-15-2003, 07:29 PM

There's not much you can do besides talk to him about it. I had a better sex life with my ex husband BEFORE I married him than I did AFTERwards. And we didn't sleep together before we got married!

Talk to him first. You obviously married him for a reason, and I hope that reason wasn't sex. To me, leaving because the sex has gone downhill since the marriage seems like a cop-out for something else. Is there anything else going on in your lives that could have affected this change? Extra stress, etc? Are you having any other problems in your marriage besides the sex life?

sexymama · 11-16-2003, 09:27 PM

I read somewhere (sorry, can't state the sorce right now) that a good sex life effects about 5% of marital happiness; whereas bad sex effects about 70% of the marriage. Unfortunately, I disagree with sillygirl, sex is very important! Yes, you married your husband for more than just sex; but your sex life has an effect on your intimacy which has an effect on your relationship.

Please try talking to your husband in a non-confrontational way and not during sex. Let him know that you value and miss the great sex you use to have. Let him know specifically what you like and be ready to negotiate to meet his needs and have him meet yours. If the church is getting in the way of a good sex life, I don't know what to say. After being in a marriage with a "just okay" sex life and now being with Lebell and being truly fullfilled sexually -- I would never go back! But you need to make the best decision for you. Best of luck!

mydragonfido · 11-17-2003, 04:38 AM

wow I just cann't imagine life without that I am really sry to hear about that!!

wannabenakid247 · 11-17-2003, 10:45 AM

Have you talked to him about it because it sounds like its really bothering you. I would just take the bull by the horns and say what has happened to our sex life it used to be amazing and now its not satisfying me at all.

The best way to resolve it is to tell him how you feel.

Good luck

Poyzun_Ivy · 11-17-2003, 04:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sillygirl
There's not much you can do besides talk to him about it. I had a better sex life with my ex husband BEFORE I married him than I did AFTERwards. And we didn't sleep together before we got married!

Talk to him first. You obviously married him for a reason, and I hope that reason wasn't sex. To me, leaving because the sex has gone downhill since the marriage seems like a cop-out for something else. Is there anything else going on in your lives that could have affected this change? Extra stress, etc? Are you having any other problems in your marriage besides the sex life?

Now I'm afraid to get married. :P I have an amazing sex life now, and my boy and I plan on getting engaged within the next few months, maybe next year. Does that always happen when people get married?

-+ Ivy +-

11-15-2003, 02:05 PM	#1 (permalink)
dana Upright Location: France	foreplay Gee, Everyone talks as if they have a husband that likes to go down on them. My husband gave that up after we were married two years ago. If I push is hand down south he will play with my thing, but thats about all. What do you gals suggest that I do? I can not imagine staying with him much longer.

11-15-2003, 07:29 PM	#4 (permalink)
sillygirl Newlywed Location: at home	There's not much you can do besides talk to him about it. I had a better sex life with my ex husband BEFORE I married him than I did AFTERwards. And we didn't sleep together before we got married! Talk to him first. You obviously married him for a reason, and I hope that reason wasn't sex. To me, leaving because the sex has gone downhill since the marriage seems like a cop-out for something else. Is there anything else going on in your lives that could have affected this change? Extra stress, etc? Are you having any other problems in your marriage besides the sex life? __________________ Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken ....absence makes me miss him more...

11-16-2003, 09:27 PM	#5 (permalink)
sexymama My own person -- his by choice Location: Lebell's arms	I read somewhere (sorry, can't state the sorce right now) that a good sex life effects about 5% of marital happiness; whereas bad sex effects about 70% of the marriage. Unfortunately, I disagree with sillygirl, sex is very important! Yes, you married your husband for more than just sex; but your sex life has an effect on your intimacy which has an effect on your relationship. Please try talking to your husband in a non-confrontational way and not during sex. Let him know that you value and miss the great sex you use to have. Let him know specifically what you like and be ready to negotiate to meet his needs and have him meet yours. If the church is getting in the way of a good sex life, I don't know what to say. After being in a marriage with a "just okay" sex life and now being with Lebell and being truly fullfilled sexually -- I would never go back! But you need to make the best decision for you. Best of luck! __________________ If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

11-15-2003, 02:18 PM	#2 (permalink)
emidew22 Upright Location: Boston	Do you give him blow jobs? Cause if you do, there is no reason why he should think he can get away without returning the favor. But if you've both given up on oral sex, maybe you should tell him that you'd really like to suck his cock while he goes down on you or something. Or just tell him what it is that you need. If you aren't saticified, then don't saticify him. It doesn't take much to get a guy in the mood, but women need a little more. Tell him that he's great in bed, but the sex with him would be even better if he went down on you for a bit first. It's hard to say what will get him to treat you a little more with out knowing why he doesn't do it to begin with though.

11-15-2003, 03:18 PM	#3 (permalink)
dana Upright Location: France	Before we were married, we really had a good sex life together. I think we tried almost every position including anal sex, which I liked. But shortly after we were married his sister started going to church and it wasn't long and he decided to go with her. Now he hardly even touches me.

11-17-2003, 04:38 AM	#6 (permalink)
mydragonfido Crazy Location: Louisiana	wow I just cann't imagine life without that I am really sry to hear about that!!

11-17-2003, 10:45 AM	#7 (permalink)
wannabenakid247 Registered User Location: Wales, UK	Have you talked to him about it because it sounds like its really bothering you. I would just take the bull by the horns and say what has happened to our sex life it used to be amazing and now its not satisfying me at all. The best way to resolve it is to tell him how you feel. Good luck