Endurance Issues
 

Ok ladies, I hope this isn't too personal of a POST, but I REALLY need some help on this. My B.F. has some endurance issues.... TOO MUCH of it that is. According to him it takes about 10min to masterbate which I see as being probably a normal amount of time. However, when It comes to my attempts at stimulation we are looking at 30min minimum. At first I thought I just wasn't pleasing him or something. He continuously assures me that everything I do feels GREAT, and any orgasm he has is FAR stronger than his 10min masterbation. Since he and I are quite close and trusting I've assumed that to be true so lets set asside the notion that maybe I just suck at this. I mean I've had other B.F. and haven't had too much trouble with them. He however is quite the marathon man, and I think it bothers him. I mean endurance is one thing, but he isn't even trying to hold it sometimes and it takes forever! It's been eight months and we have just started having sex. Well attempting I should say... We've fooled around a couple times without a condom just to see if it would fit ;) He isn't porn star huge or anything, but much bigger than anything I've ever had. Anyway our first attempt failed after 2 and a half hours of 6 different postions, 2 condoms (he went soft after the phone rank and the caller id showed his parents ;)), and 1/4 bottle of lub. We ended up collapsing for the night and I woke him up with a hand job to show there were no harsh feelings :D .

My Questions are, what is going on!?!? and can ANYBODY help!! Are there any tried and true methods of hand jobs and blow jobs that I am missing? Should I perhaps switch to the pill cause the condoms we were using are less sensitive? Is there anything opposite to tantric sex we should try? BTW he knows all about tantric sex but swears up and down that he doesn't do it cause it already takes him so long. Finally, does anybody know of a good fix for sore lips cause a 30 min blow job HURTS!!!

Here is something to leave you with to further emphasis how SERIOUS this is... He has once eatten ME out in 5 min... I feel like I'm the man here by coming so quickly. Please help me take back my right to be able to get HIM off quicker!

Is he on anti-depressants? One of the guys I've been with is on Zoloft, and it turns him into a marathon man...it also, unfortunately for me, makes him uninterested in sex for days at a time. If he's not, I'd say he should probably see a urologist to rule out any health problems. Other than that, it could be a mental issue, and that's something that you and he will need to figure out together. :) Good luck.

Negative on the anti-depressants, and he certainly doesn't have lapses in sexual desire.... Mostly cause we are in a long distance relationship so EVERY time we meet, we are both pretty arroused. As for a urologist, I'll suggest it, but the idea of mental issues could also be the case. Curiously enough he hasn't always been this way. Atleast, he said the first few times he recieved anything from a girl took a while, but later relationships were much faster. They were even faster than ours now, so I'm inclined to think either mentally or phsically it has something to do with our current relationship.

Jaiddin is/was an endurance guy as well, after 6 years of marriage, it's getting better, but his had A LOT to do with mental, as he had very strict control over himself. He was a virgin by choice, and being highschool jock, quarterback, team captain whatever, sex was something that was offered to him constantly (especially growing up in the state of football is god, er Texas), and so he basically locked down his libido. He still won't masturbate unless I beg him to, it's just part of who he is. It may be that since you guys have been holding off, he's unconsciously holding off orgasm too.

As a side note, I could probably chew through a piece of wood now from all the exercise my jaw got in the beginning trying to get him off *giggles*

I dated a guy with this problem....He could stay hard for a long time but as soon as he put on a condom he went soft...he was rather big too come to think of it. I think it was more of a mental thing. We could have sex all night with no condom. A lot of times he wouldn't cum no matter what I did. I felt really bad about it. After a while I encouraged him to masturbate for me to get him self off. I did a lot of fun things to keep him turned on while he did it...it was fun!

That is kind of like my beau... he does seem to get soft at times once a condom is put on, but mostly it's just that he always takes a long time. Also I took his virginity at 20 so he probably is still pretty nervous about cumming inside. I don't think he quite trusts contraceptives yet. That however still doesn't fix the fact that he takes FOREVER on blowjobs and handjobs. :(

Does he drink? My ex used to (well, probably still does) have the endurance problem. And it could take him hours (he's a lot older than your sweetie, tho). Alcohol definitely made it worse. And I can't help a bit of sisterly advice - condoms on their own are not a particularly safe form of birth control.

I missed the great big NO MEN notice under Ladies Lounge, and cheers had to edit me.

red: I empathise, but here's something to remember: sex is FUN!!! ;) Careful not to turn it into a chore...
as for your beau, I dunno, hun. Try different things, stop and have a tickle fight, whatever, ya know? do what feels right, and relax. :)

oh no it is NOT a chore for me... I just wish I could get him to cum faster, cause sometimes we get tired before he finishes.. I mean an hour or two of straight sex after a good long while of foreplay can be fun once in a while, but the ability to have little quickies would also be nice.

My BF is coming down up in 3 days... any last second advice for endurance issuse or how the heck "girl on top" works?