Hair problem

[scarglitter]

Hello all,
Forewarning: Shallow post. (Mostly ranting)
My natural hair color is light brown, but I have been dyeing my hair blonde for quite some time. Lately been toying with the idea of going completely brunette - I am nervous about it because it would be quite a change. The problem is, everytime I go to a salon to do it, the stylists dissuade me (so far four individuals), and I am always quick to pass up the change when this happens - then I regret it later. I have even been told that it would be really hard to dye it a darker color at this point. Why would anyone be so adament about avoiding brown hair? I think it would look pretty good.

Tonight I tried a new stylist, who was highly recommended by several people. When I told her what I wanted, she said it was wrong for me and showed me a picture of what she thought would look good. I really liked her idea; although it was still primarily blonde it included dark undertones underneath the hair. The blonde was a medium blonde in the picture.

Three hours later, I come out of the salon as a platinum blonde!!! Now I am pretty sad about my hair - it is way too blonde, and it cost too much. The color is gorgeous, but just not me. It will be awhile before I can spend more money on my hair. Is there anything I can do to adjust for the time being?

In the future, I obviously need to be more assertive. However, it is hard when sitting in the chair, and the sylist disagrees wholeheartedly - I become convinced that I was wrong in the first place. I have tried bringing pictures, selecting hair color samples from their wheels, and just conversing, but so far have had no luck. Any suggestions?


Also, as I am already discussing hair issues, all stylists frown and give little lectures when they find out I use Infusium 23 hair products . The thing is, I have actually tried using the more expensive salon brands, and just do not see enough of a difference to justify spending 2-4 times as much. Is this just an upsell technique? What kind of styling products do you use?


Thanks for reading! Good night.

[maleficent]

Ihave been in that chair sooooo many times.... and suffered thru many hair cuts and colors I didn't really want but yet still paid for...

Inthe chair you are a kind of a captive audience to the "expert" in some cases they do know whatthey are talking about, in others - not so much.

What Ithink you should do, andme to, is go in for a consultation first... put the scissors and the bottles down... and talk about what YOU want.. length, lenth of time you want to spend doing it, COLOR - and what color would be flattering on you...

Brownis a tough color on people, especially if you've been blond, it can wash out some people, but done correctly it's beautiful... Kinda like red - there are a lot of really bad reds out there but done correctly, it's beautiful...

You have to discuss what you really want and be assertive about it - you don't want to be blonde anymore...because the maintence of the roots is too time consuming (or whatever reason) you want to go darker...

As for the shampoo and product business -yeah it's upselling... some grocery store brands of shampoo are absolute crap, but others are good...

have even been told that it would be really hard to dye it a darker color at this point.

that's a ridiculous answer from a stylist, it'd be easier and probably better for your hair because it's a single process... going back to blond would be a lot harder...

[ngdawg]

How is dying bleached hair harder to do? That makes no sense at all...at the very most, using a darker color would make your hair darker still because bleached hair absorbs so much color( I once colored my already bleached blonde hair with a brown that came out black! yea, I was a dumb teenager)
If there's a Sally's Beauty Supply near you, check out some of their temporary rinses. Any beauty supply store should have them. You can also ask a stylist about using a water-based coloring-the ones that tried to dissuade you were probably thinking 'permanent coloring', plus keeping up the maintenance of being a blonde is money in their pocket.
There are so many ways to accomplish what you want to do, from temporary tinting to 'reverse frosting', where just strands are colored and then having that maintained until your colors blend.
Use what works best for your own hair. Those stylist shop-sold ones are no different-shampoo is detergent and conditioner is oil-based and wax-based.

[sillygirl]

First of all, I think you should go back and get your money back. She discussed one thing with you, then went totally different than what you agreed on. I just had this happen with getting my hair cut, and now I'm stuck with a style that I hate and a cut that's way too short... both things that I specified and even showed pictures of when I went in. The style she cut is NOTHING like the pics and my hair is too short for a ponytail, which was my first specification.. it must fit into a ponytail.

Then I'd follow ng's advice. There are a lot of ways to change the color temporarily, so you could kind of look at this situation as a way to play with different colors on your hair, because it's going to wash out anyway.

[*Nikki*]

Making your hair lighter is stripping your hair, by darkening it your hairshafts are absorbing color which is definately easier and more healthy for your hair. I don't get why you don't just go buy some home color kit and do it yourself for less then 10 bucks. Just get a lighter brown since it will more then likely turn out darker.

[genuinegirly]

I like Sillygirl's response. but i can see how you would be hesitant to return and demand your money back. it would have been easier to convince them if you had complained immediately after the salon session.

Find a gutsy man to bring with you, or a domineering female, who will fight for you if you don't think you can handle it.

If the prospect of demanding your money back doesn't sound promising, do yourself a favor and the next time you go into a salon, BRING A FRIEND who vows to encourage you to keep with your original brunette plan. If the stylist screws it up again, then you two can confront them on the spot.

I don't go to salons often (last time was 3 years ago). I can't stand this kind of crap. Every time I go, they try to convince me to dye my hair or to cut it completely differently, then request that I purchase their fancy hair products. It's all a marketing ploy. They make money off of the expensive hair products. I'm not recommending that you use Suave or another shamelessly cheap brand, but there is no reason to spend twice the money for something they recommend over what you personally prefer.

There is a fine line between being nice and being taken advantage of. They see someone who is insecure and indecisive as easy money. It may be difficult, but don't let them dissuade you from what you really want.

Here's a scenario:

"I want to go Brunette this time around"
"Ewww, why would you do that???"
"Because."
"But you'll look like crap. look at this."
"So you're telling me that you're incapable of using brown hair dye appropriately?"
"er...."
"I think I need to find another stylist."

"Wait - ok. i'll make you brunette."

It's not easy to be harsh. But it's worth it to not be platinum.

[scarglitter]

Thanks for the replies.

maleficient: Good idea about the consultation first - I will definitely do this next time!

*Nikki*: I have had many more bad experiences with the home color kits than at the salon. I know the cost is ten-fold for the salon, but I just do not know anyone who is really good at applying the home stuff - and I would definitely screw it up!

genuinegirly: Your idea of challenging them is absolutely perfect! That is something I can do. Also, I think in the future a friend would be absolutely vital in these situations. In the salon, I sometimes feel impulsive and ready for change, so I am receptive to what the stylists suggest (sometimes too receptive!). Having someone there to remind me why I am there and make me stick with my original (well-thought out plan) would be better. The stylist definitely picked up on my indecisive/insecure nature, but with ouside support, I would feel stronger.

Regarding dyeing blonde hair to brown: I have heard the brown often comes out muddy, so it is a bit more of a process. But it does seems like any colorist who knows what they are doing should be able to work with the right shades to get around this.

I am hesitant to try a temporary water-based dye on my hair right now because it is so light - it might not wash out as well and leave me with a weird stain for awhile. I work in a professional setting with patients, and it just does not seem like a good idea to risk this. Also, I will be going on a business trip next week, and that means lots of networking. I need all the confidence I can muster!!

About getting money back: I think this woman is really good with color, but she probably did see extreme blonde = $$$$. Would it be possible/smart to go back and ask her to add several lowlights free of charge to balance out the color? As I will not have money to allocate to my hair for awhile, it would be nice to fix it for the time being. I had a stylist who did blonde highlights before, which turned out yellowish, and he fixed it for free. I hate to ask for money back, after I agreed to pay for it, and am also very timid about this kind of thing. She did spend 3 hours, the color it nice (just not what I wanted/expected), etc.

[maleficent]

Would it be possible/smart to go back and ask her to add several lowlights free of charge to balance out the color?

I don't think that's out of line - call the salon and ask to speak to the owner, Iwouldn't bitch about the colorist, but explain that the color is a lot lighter than was expected can you come back in for a correction... If the salon cares a bout customer service and retaining a client (not to mention word of mouth) they will generally do it..

[genuinegirly]

Yeah! Asking for a correction! Why didn't I consider that? Now, that's much better, and aknowledges respectfully that the stylist is good at what she does, it's just not quite what you intended.

[raeanna74]

All the things the other girls said are good advice.

As for using Infusium and the stylists trying to upsell... I know two stylists and their PERSONAL opinion is to use Infusium. One of them uses it on her own hair. They like it and it works better for me to control the frizzies and protect against broken ends better than any salon conditioner I've ever used.

The only Salon Shampoo I would ever use is Sexy Hair from Sears salons. It's the only thing that's helped hubby's psoriasis.

Go get a correction. Next time tell the person, before they make any suggestions, tell them that you've considered all other options and that this is what you want, nothing else. If they try to push something else, go to another salon. It's taken me a while to find a salon that will do exactly what I want and not what they THINK will look good.

[rachael25]

scarglitter,

You can go from blonde to brown. It is a bit of a process, though, if you are willing to be patient. I talked to my mother about your probelm yesterday (she has been a stylest for 35 years). She said with you doing blonde for so long, your hair is probably very porous..so changing to brown immediately is not wise as it can turn out a very yucky greenish blonde. What you need to do is:

a.) Get a cut, at least the ends, since those tend to be the most porus.

b.) Have your stylest use a filler on it to replenish the hair. Filler is a color product with no color. They put it on your hair, let it sit a while and wipe off with a towel.

c.) You will then need to have it dyed to match your natural color, possibly adding some warm undertones (she highly recommened the undertones).

If you can tolerate your natural color awhile it is best. You can then let your hair grow out to the point it's mostly natural. Then go ahead and have it dyed brunette to your hearts content.

If you have any questions feel free to PM me or toss me an email at magnusonrachael@yahoo.com.

~Rachael

[snowy]

Originally Posted by raeanna74

As for using Infusium and the stylists trying to upsell... I know two stylists and their PERSONAL opinion is to use Infusium. One of them uses it on her own hair. They like it and it works better for me to control the frizzies and protect against broken ends better than any salon conditioner I've ever used.

Oddly enough, Infusium used to be a salon brand. It's a perfectly good line. Personally, my stylist told me to go to Sally's for anything I need--they sell a generics line that imitates a lot of different salon line products. So far I've been pleased--the products are usually more or less identical and the effect is the same.

Oh, and I highly recommend Paula Begoun's book on buying hair care products. It informs you as to what the different ingredients are and what, precisely, they do. From this book, I figured out that I could save money on deep conditioner if I just bought the Pantene conditioner for women of color--it's a heavier conditioner without the price of a deep conditioner and has most of the same ingredients.