Shoes and self image
 

On most days that I go to work, I wear casual work clothes. Pants and a long sleeve shirt (no buttons). I usually wear a pair of boots. Until today. Today I wore the same kind of clothes but with shoes. Plain black shoes with a 2 inch heal, nothing fancy. And yet, I feel so much better about my self-image today. The shoes and some lipstick are all that is different from any other work day, and I must say, I don't feel depressed today. I will be wearing shoes and lipstick more often, that is for sure.

I was wondering if there was something you wore that makes you feel better about your self-image?

It's funny.. back in the days i worked in retail -- it was expected that as store managers we come to work properly dressed and looking presentable.. that worked for about 2 weeks - when foot pain won out - (standing on your feet on a concrete mall floor for 12 hours a day - was a bad thing) The dress code at that point became perfect dressed from head to ankles... :)

my self image sucks - -Sadly I have a mirror so there's no way around it.. .I'm also not a girlie girl and makeup and shoe fetishes aren't part of my genetic code... However, if I want to feel more feminine (and in turn a little better about myself) then a dab of perfume... or earrings will do the trick... more times than not - the fabric of what i am wearing will also help -- silkier more drapey fabrics also make me feel better...

Advice i was given years ago-- if you want to really feel good about yourself - and give yourself an edge - then get yourself undies that make you feel sexy and confident... doesn't matter if they are hanes her way or a silk set from la perla - but they are your special undies that make you feel like you can do anything - people will notice a change in you, but won't know what it is - and unless you show 'em your undies.. they won't know what's up... :)

I have this blue dress. Bought it probably 3-4 years ago, it's relatively plain, but it's 'shaped' to accentuate curves, is sleeveless and has a turtleneck and I look goooooooooooood in it. I do have to wear some tummy control under it, though-a small price to pay when I see heads turn as I go by. As one friend remarked upon seeing me in it: "damn, she cleans up GOOD" :lol:

I know what you mean, sportswidow. I have a pair of boots that have this great look and a chunky heel...they just make me feel great. They're also comfy enough for everyday wear :) Similarly, I have a pair of loafers from Kenneth Cole that look classy and make me feel classy when I wear them. But since loud shoes are a bad idea when one is doing bedchecks, I usually skip fancy shoes at work and settle for my Nikes :)

As for "that dress" I have a black cocktail dress I love to wear. I only wish I had more opportunity to wear it :)

For the past several months I've put a lot more effort into my appearance. I have in the past couple of years lost weight, added muscle, and basically totally changed my body. But I was wearing the same clothes, stuff that was already over-large due to my wanting to hide my figure.

So I've been working hard at either getting rid of all the stuff that not only doesn't fit, but doesn't flatter, or getting it altered. When I buy shoes or clothes, I am very conscious of acquiring items that don't just "fit the bill", but that fits *me*, fits my sense of style *and* my figure (and yes, sometimes that means the wallet takes a hit, but for the most part I am able to find great stuff at budget prices Just takes a bit of effort, effort I enjoy giving).

I can't believe the difference I feel in myself, and the difference in how people perceive me. It's confidence baby, can you smell it?

To answer your specific post, I have an adorable black and white polka-dot dress I'd wear every day if I could. It's very 40's-looking, retro, halter top, super fitted in the bodice and big flared skirt. I feel like the $hit wearing that dress (and I got it off ebay, LOL!).

And about the underwear thing, I have been doing the new me all the way to the underclothes...and yes, it's a serious confidence-booster.
Heh, I had to get all new stuff, because of my weight loss I lost a cup size! Ieee! :( Oh well.

Work it baby! Enjoy those shoes!! And if you're new to wearing heels, be sure to baby your feet more than perhaps you usually do.

I totally understand this. I work in a restaurant and so I usually end up wearing a polo shirt and jeans or slacks. Whenever I have a chance to go out and about outside of work, I usually end up wearing a dress or skirt or something. I put on make up and do my hair and just feel great. A lot of times, the people I am with comment saying "I didn't know we were dressing up". Everytime I do "dress up" like this, I feel great no matter what. :)

Of course, shoes make a difference. ;)

No, seriously, if you feel good in what you are wearing, your confidence is going to increase and you'll feel sexier or more attractive. I love my shoes and I definitely love my heels. When I wear flats, which is rarely, I feel more relaxed, but not as attractive. However, when I wear heels I feel more feminine and sexier.

I am definitely a heelaholic...why do you think I have so many? :lol:

Sultana, you rock. I have had much the same experience. I lost 95 lbs and went from an 18 to a 6. I forgot how expensive new wardrobes are. :D (I have nine bags of clothes to consign!) Wait, all you you ladies rock! :thumbsup:

Basically, I forgot what it was like to have breasts that people don't look at until I accentuate them. So most days I wear a ballet neckline if I need a pick-me-up without the boobs. I have collarbones! If I'm wanting some attention (rare) I have this one kick-ass top with just the right cleavage and gives me killer curves. I walk taller in that top, it's awesome.

Tall shoes. Chunky heels. I love being taller. It makes me hold my head up higher. Plus, the knee-high, lace-up, 4 inch-chunky-heeled black boots I bought last year make me feel like a bad-ass. :lol:

I finally found a mascara and eyeliner I can wear without my eyes swelling shut like I'd been cold-cocked in both of them. It's amazing how much better I feel with a little definition around mine eyes.

There is a pair of jeans that I love because they always accentuate my ass. :D

Also, I love wearing my rock-climbing clothes (when I am climbing, obviously) because I just feel cool and sexy somehow, wearing them. I know my arms and shoulders look good with these racerback tops I always wear, and the little rubber shoes make me feel badass. I guess I like speciality footwear... e.g. ski boots, roller blades, climbing shoes... because they communicate that I have mad skillz, which gives me confidence. :D

My 3" stiletto boots... because they make me 5'6" and only a nose below my boyfriend, as opposed to a chin ;)

I recently bought 2 mini skirts and those make me feel good.. It's a big change going from work steel toe boots to hose and a skirt. Although I never really get to wear the skirt out of the house...

I love my Kenneth Cole kitten heels with a great pair of dark jeans, feel like a million bucks!

some perfume and a delicate necklace...boost my confidence.

getting my hair done at a salon...that's the biggest booster no contest.

Wow, that's awesome fredweena.... Congratulations on your new-found you!

Jeans and a cute pair of heels...

ah and I have this little itty bitty dress that I have yet to wear...maybe haven't been around a guy that's worth seeing me in it yet ..

Corsets..yes corsets...did I mention corsets??!

I "dress up" every now and then for kicks. I probably get a lot more compliments that way than what I'd get if I dressed nicely all the time.

I have this romantic creme-white lacy top that I'm saving for a good hair day... can't wait to show it off! I absolutely love the first time I wear anything new, and can let stuff rot in the wardrobe for weeks before I think it's the "right" time to premiere it.

Five years ago I wore mostly casual clothes, casual slacks and polo tops, and then Sissy moved in and was sooo enthusastic about clothes and shoes and makeup and so forth and learning how to do it all right that she infected me with the bug. As I wore the more girly stuff more and more, I found I liked the way I looked more and more, and I really liked the way Grace looked at me and the compliments I got at work, so it's become more my default style now.

My everyday outfit consists of a knee length to above the knee skirt, pumps with a 2-3 inch heel, either stack or tapered depending upon what matches the outfit, blazer with camisole (usually a dickie built into the blazer).

You learn to navigate the heels pretty easily when you wear them every day, especially if you're wearing good quality ones.

My "feel good outfit" is a shorter pleated skirt, blazer and pumps to match the blazer, or black if I don't have a matching color. I call this my "Lois Lane" outfit, because I basically copied it from the way Lois Lane dresses in the Superman cartoons, and I look more than a bit like a life action version if I'm wearing contacts and not glasses.

When I'm not working, I love my "college girl outfit", a denim miniskirt, blue canvas tennis shoes with peds for the no socks look, and a tight Hello Kitty t-shirt. I cann't quite pull off teenager anymore, but I sure as hell can pass for college girl, or so Sissy tells me, which is fun because I didn't really enjoy college much the first time through. I always wear my glasses with that one, as I can get away with less makeup, and the glasses make me look younger if I'm dressing young.

Gilda

self confidence is really how you present yourself...

I find heels or boots with heels really do it for me :) They make me feel so tall and i love the 'click' that sounds everytime i walk...

I also put on a tight pair of jeans a nice shirt and my set of pearls and then i think i am the bomb...

:D

sweetpea

That's when you realize what everyone else thinks every time they see you!
:icare:

Whenever I wear my boots (ankle-high or knee-high) I tend to stand up straighter and keep my head up rather than looking down.

When it comes down to it, if you think you look good in something it's gonna raise your confidence level. The key is learning to be comfortable in everything. Realizing that you look equally as beautiul in sweats as a full length gown. Sure they're different looks, but they're both sexy in their own way. :)

Thank you for all of your responses. It helps me have the determination to continue dressing nicely, knowing that it helps me feel better about myself. I am going to continue doing this, even on my "bad" days.

welll said!


sweetpea