Is it bad form to ask for an update? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

fresnelly · 07-03-2005, 07:24 AM

In the Living and Sexuality forums, there are several posts asking for advice on how to ask out, or reveal true feelings to an object of desire. After a string of helpful replies, we often don't get an update on how the attempt has gone.

The poster has openly invited us into his or her situation and a follow up would encourage a broader sharing of experience. After all, why should a forum be limited explicity to the original post?

On the other hand, I don't want to be nosey and the poster has the right not to share further. Is it bad form to baldly ask for an update?

TexanAvenger · 07-03-2005, 07:26 AM

Way I see it, what's the worst that could happen? They don't answer, just like if you hadn't asked.

Somebody else might have a different opinion on the topic, but if they asked for help with a situation, I think you could have every interest in seeing how it turned out without being considered nosy.

Temporary_User · 07-03-2005, 07:43 AM

I agree the worst would be they dont reply. either forgot about post, or get rejected and dont want to talk about it.
I think the best way of asking about it though, would be to just put something like "let us know how it goes" at the end of your advice post.

tecoyah · 07-03-2005, 08:25 AM

There is nothing wrong , or in bad form about requesting an update. As stated above.....one can simply decide not to answer the request.

Seeker · 07-05-2005, 05:49 PM

I think I'd be flattered that anybody cared enough to chase it up. It shows that you have been thinking about them and you are interested. Is that not what this community is all about?

analog · 07-05-2005, 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seeker

It shows that you have been thinking about them and you are interested. Is that not what this community is all about?

This is pretty much the perfect answer.

People often figure no one wants to hear about it, or that since the thread has bottomed-out, they don't want to bump it up. Feel free to politely ask if they'd like to share what happened!

dlish · 07-05-2005, 11:09 PM

id have to agree with seeker.

but how do we askf or an update? does someone PM them and ask them? a Mod maybe? how would it work?

Ishmal · 07-05-2005, 11:34 PM

if i'm interested...

i PM the person askin if they want to inform us how things went and supplying them with a link to the thread.

but thats just me personally.

analog · 07-06-2005, 08:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dlishsguy

id have to agree with seeker.

but how do we askf or an update? does someone PM them and ask them? a Mod maybe? how would it work?

Usually the best way would be to copy the link for the thread in question, and PM the person with the link... then ask if they'd like to share an update, as you're honestly curious how things worked out. If you really don't feel comfortable doing that, you can always PM a moderator and we will do it for you.

odu_sonar_AE · 07-19-2005, 10:51 AM

Well, I don't see anything wrong with it. This a community after all. If I took the time to write an initial post with their problems/concerns, and I received some answers but the outcome wasn't determined, I wouldn't mind a request for a follow-up post. I know my mindset doesn't apply to everyone, but as stated above, the worst thing that should happen is you get a "NO" to your request.

07-03-2005, 07:24 AM	#1 (permalink)
fresnelly Functionally Appropriate Location: Toronto	Is it bad form to ask for an update? In the Living and Sexuality forums, there are several posts asking for advice on how to ask out, or reveal true feelings to an object of desire. After a string of helpful replies, we often don't get an update on how the attempt has gone. The poster has openly invited us into his or her situation and a follow up would encourage a broader sharing of experience. After all, why should a forum be limited explicity to the original post? On the other hand, I don't want to be nosey and the poster has the right not to share further. Is it bad form to baldly ask for an update? __________________ Building an artificial intelligence that appreciates Mozart is easy. Building an A.I. that appreciates a theme restaurant is the real challenge - Kit Roebuck - Nine Planets Without Intelligent Life

07-03-2005, 08:25 AM	#4 (permalink)
tecoyah Illusionary	There is nothing wrong , or in bad form about requesting an update. As stated above.....one can simply decide not to answer the request. __________________ Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

07-05-2005, 05:49 PM	#5 (permalink)
Seeker Getting Clearer Location: with spirit	I think I'd be flattered that anybody cared enough to chase it up. It shows that you have been thinking about them and you are interested. Is that not what this community is all about? __________________ *To those who wander but who are not lost...* ~ Knowledge is not something you acquire, it is something you open yourself to.

07-05-2005, 11:09 PM	#7 (permalink)
dlish Currently sour but formerly Dlishs Super Moderator Location: Australia/UAE	id have to agree with seeker. but how do we askf or an update? does someone PM them and ask them? a Mod maybe? how would it work? __________________ An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay? - Filthy

07-05-2005, 11:34 PM	#8 (permalink)
Ishmal Wicked Clown Location: House Of Horrors	if i'm interested... i PM the person askin if they want to inform us how things went and supplying them with a link to the thread. but thats just me personally. __________________ "Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular."

07-03-2005, 07:26 AM	#2 (permalink)
TexanAvenger Born-Again New Guy Location: Unfound.	Way I see it, what's the worst that could happen? They don't answer, just like if you hadn't asked. Somebody else might have a different opinion on the topic, but if they asked for help with a situation, I think you could have every interest in seeing how it turned out without being considered nosy.

07-03-2005, 07:43 AM	#3 (permalink)
Temporary_User Psycho	I agree the worst would be they dont reply. either forgot about post, or get rejected and dont want to talk about it. I think the best way of asking about it though, would be to just put something like "let us know how it goes" at the end of your advice post.

07-19-2005, 10:51 AM	#10 (permalink)
odu_sonar_AE Tilted	Well, I don't see anything wrong with it. This a community after all. If I took the time to write an initial post with their problems/concerns, and I received some answers but the outcome wasn't determined, I wouldn't mind a request for a follow-up post. I know my mindset doesn't apply to everyone, but as stated above, the worst thing that should happen is you get a "NO" to your request.