A Thanksgiving Rant!!!

[maleficent]

Arghhh!.. I need to crawl up into a hole and hibernate until January.. scratch that -- April when spring starts up again.

Thanksgiving is this week... YAY for turkey (ptooeeey) I am a cheapskate at heart and really didn't want to drop several hundred dollars to go to see my family for a few days of - Let's tell Maleficent all about how she's screwing up her life and how if she's not married with children she's basically a non-person. Moving away was the perfect excuse to avoid this - I can't get out o fit for christmas but thanksgiving I could avoid it.

I'm getting guilt but I'll deal with it. I tried to do volunteer work for the day but was soundly thwarted in favor of people who the courts said they had to volunteer.

Now, all my wonderful colleagues at work seem to be throwing me pity parties (I'm actually quite capable of throwing them myself but not this time0 I've had no less than 4 people ask me what I am doing for thanksgiving. Not a damn thing, thanks. Oh.. well... and then I get the excuse why they can't invite me to their house for thanksgiving. I wasn't asking for an invitation. I'm not sure why people feel the need to tell me why they can't invite me somewhere that I honestly wouldn't want to go anyhow.. I like you fine as a colleague... your wife, kids, brothers, cousins, extended family are an entirely different story.

I would be the happiest person ever if all holidays were cancelled. Family obligations cease to exist and people's need to make excuses why they can't take you home for the holidaze wouldn't need to happen.

What's your thanksgiving rant... burnt turkey? aunt clarabelle's creamed onions... gimme your best.. make me feel better about being bitchy when i should be giving thanks...

[Charlatan]

Say Mal? What are you doing for Thanksgiving? Why don't you come to my place?


...Canada is already done with Thanksgiving. This is just another weekend to us. You can come up and hang with TFP Toronto.



As to being bitchy about Thanksgiving... it's interesting. Thanksgiving is just not such a big deal here as it is in the US. Sure we get together for a big meal with family but that's about it. It isn't celebrated with parades, mandatory attendence, four day weekends, etc.

Furthermore, it is sanely placed in October where it is almost two whole months away from Christmas. We get a nice breather before we have to up and do it all again. Having such a big holiday 30 days before and even bigger holiday is just nuts in my book.

[shakran]

Well, I enjoy eating. A little too much if you want the truth. So I'm certainly not going to turn down a holiday that's centered around a feast!

Have you thought about maybe bringing up this issue with your family? Say in March,when nothing else is going on - just tell 'em it bugs you and makes it very hard to enjoy being with them over the holidays if they constantly pick on you.

Journalists don't make much money generally and when I first became one back in the days of steam-powered television, I got TONS of crap from my family at every gathering. I finally told 'em what was up, explained that I was happy and not ruining my life just because I wasn't a billionaire yet, and let it be known that my attendance at family gatherings would be drastically cut back if they didn't knock it off. Worked like a charm.

[ngdawg]

Except for two times, one when preggers and last year when my mother couldn't walk, I've had Thanksgiving in my house for 25 years.
My mother-in-law is a very religious woman who has that ability to smile and speak sweetly while shooting your head off. My sister always makes the desserts, but MIL always insists on bringing hers and shoves sister's to the back of the fridge. She corrects me on everything from the mashed potatoes to the types of serving spoons I need. That side of the family eats 'weird' shit, so they bring that stuff and sit at one end of the long table surrounded by it.
My mom, of course, still treats me like I've never done this before, but limited mobility will now keep her out of my kitchen and hence, out of my hair.
(one time when I mentioned I had to buy the ingredients for my sausage stuffing, she said, 'ew! I HATE sausage stuffing', to which I replied, 'Mom, you've been eating and raving about it for 20 years'. :rolleyes
Then there's the sister-in-law and her lazy-ass boyfriend. Both total wastes of good air and that's all I can say about them without taking this to another page. Bitchy, lazy moochers who wouldn't have a nice thing to say about anything if they were on their deathbeds.....
Family...we love them because they are family but thank the gods they aren't neighbors....

[raveneye]

Well in our case we live in Miami and my family is in Portland and Croatia, and my wife's family is in Germany. If anybody expects us to shell out a thousand or two to visit them for the holidays they damn well better treat us like royalty. . . . which they generally do

[alansmithee]

Honestly, I tend to dislike the major holidays in general. Either you are guilted/forced to spend time with a group of people that you generally don't like that much (otherwise you would see them more than 2-3 times a year), or you are made to feel bad if you don't fall into line. It sucks, plain and simple.

[BigBen]

Originally Posted by Charlatan

...Canada is already done with Thanksgiving. This is just another weekend to us. You can come up and hang with TFP Toronto...

Mal, if you do a meet-up in toronto, I am buying a fucking plane ticket, plain and simple.

[JustJess]

Oh, I'll jump right on this bandwagon o' ranting...

I would be SO delighted if I had an excuse not to go. I like being with family, but immediate family only, please. I don't want to see my sister's mother-in-law's family, they are just a bunch of weirdos, I don't need to see every cousin Quadro has, I just want to have a friggin' holiday at MY house for once. They treat a mild allergy to cats as if the world might end with their nose getting a little stuffy. And frankly, until we have kids, no one will ever accept that we might want to do it our own way. I'm the only one who feels this way, so I'll never convince Quad to do it differently. The crazy man actually likes being surrounded by all those people!

And dammit, I hate candied yams, what the hell is with both our moms insisting on making candied yams??? They're the ONLY ones who eat it!
Ahem.

/end rant

[maleficent]

Originally Posted by JustJess

And dammit, I hate candied yams, what the hell is with both our moms insisting on making candied yams???

I understand those as much as i understand creamed onions... I swear there only needs to be one batch made, stick in the freezer every year and just defrost 'em - -no one eats them anyhow...

[Rodney]

A number of years ago my sister took over Thanksgiving from my mother for our family. Mom is old, and sis loves -- LOVES -- to entertain. She has a big house, and uses Thanksgiving as an excuse to throw a huge party and invite all her friends. Well, the thing is of course -- it's not a family thanksgiving at all. We're just part of the crowd, or at best serving staff. And it's 120 miles away across the world's worst holiday traffic (from one end of the SF Bay Area to the other), so realistically we have to stay overnight to avoid making the holiday an all-day ordeal. BUT she's already given away her guest rooms most of the time to people who are coming from far away, so we have to stay in a motel. And nobody ever wants to come down _here_ for the holiday. Of course we have a small house and dinner wouldn't be much, but it would be "family." But my sister stopped cooperating a number of years ago, because she'd rather have a big party and have it on her terms. We are always "welcome to come": but not central to things. You get the distinction.

So why do I even care? Mom. Sis holds the Mom card. Mom always goes there, and she wants _me_ to go, too, because "I just want the family to be together at the holidays. That's _all_ I really want." Never mind that my sister and I have never been close. Mom hopes that if we play at being a happy family together, it'll actually happen. Mom never comes here because "it's too far." She _is_ old. But my house is exactly 20 miles further from her (in a different direction) than my sister's. Tell her that and she'll say, "Well, I know that road a lot better." Of course, sis always has a room for Mom, just not for us.

So, we're staying home this Thanksgiving. The wife and I went up to see Mom last week by ourselves as a holiday call. But Thanksgiving is always on my sister's terms (with Mom's collusion), and is structured for maximum convenience for my sister and maximum inconvenience for me and my wife. And it's not going to change. So much for family.

Hey, thanks, Mal. I didn't really know I had a rant in me on this subject.

[Rodney]

Originally Posted by maleficent

I understand those as much as i understand creamed onions... I swear there only needs to be one batch made, stick in the freezer every year and just defrost 'em - -no one eats them anyhow...

I like them both; but the gloppy green bean casserole -- green beans, cream 'o mush soup, and canned french-fried onions -- is beyond my comprehension. Does anyone actually like that stuff?

[Sultana]

Originally Posted by Rodney

I like them both; but the gloppy green bean casserole -- green beans, cream 'o mush soup, and canned french-fried onions -- is beyond my comprehension. Does anyone actually like that stuff?

That...would be me. Don't ask me why, just...give it to me.

My rant is that I've been happily hosting T-day for my sister and my nephews and the occasional other guests for years, and this year my sister cannot tell me for sure if she's coming over. She and the kids are my first priority for Thanksgiving...in fact, this year there is no one else (outside of hubby and I) to plan for. I've put off making alternative plans (and that's not on her, really) in case it all comes together, but at this stage, it's too late.

And, kinda embarrassing as it is, no one has offered to include my loose end (as it were) in their holiday plans. That would have been nice, but I guess in the end it's (hopefully) Thanksgiving sushi for us. If the restaurant is open.

/pity party, lol

[ngdawg]

Originally Posted by Rodney

I like them both; but the gloppy green bean casserole -- green beans, cream 'o mush soup, and canned french-fried onions -- is beyond my comprehension. Does anyone actually like that stuff?

I love it, but if it's that gloppy, they aren't doing it right.
And what is with that cranberry shit in a can??? I lived near cranberry country, I don't get it...

[lurkette]

If you get guilt for going and you get guilt for NOT going, why don't you just save yourself the money and pick the "not going" guilt and spend the holidays with friends you actually enjoy in town? Or come down to NC. We're having 2 thanksgiving dinners (1 with friends in Durham, one in Greensboro) and I doubt we'll run out of food.

[ShaniFaye]

for the record...I love candied yams, I love green bean casserole (never had creamed onions...is that a yankee thing? :lol )

I cant remember the last time I had thanksgiving dinner with my own family...when they moved about 2 hours away I told them when you show me the road goes both ways I will see about traveling there, to date they havent.

So....we go to dave's sister's house....I love Daves family and any excuse to spend time with them is ok.

My only rant....I made the mistake our first thanksgiving of trying to "fit in" (we'd only been dating 2 months) so I volunteered to make the dressing....there was NONE left and it immediately became my "job" each year for the dinner lol

its ok....I spent 13 years making the entire dinner myself from deviled eggs to the banana pudding... so I wont complain toooooo much about the dressing.

so send over all your yams and GB casseroles, I will take them....along with fruitcake...I LOOOOOOOOOVE fruitcake

[Sultana]

Umm, Shani, you'll have to wrestle me for that GB casserole...which could be more fun than it should be. :P
Huh. Greenbean casserole wrestling. I think that fits in with Mantus' elf porn fixation...(another thread in Portraits).
*snickers*

[snowy]

Originally Posted by Rodney

I like them both; but the gloppy green bean casserole -- green beans, cream 'o mush soup, and canned french-fried onions -- is beyond my comprehension. Does anyone actually like that stuff?

I looove that stuff...and if it's gloppy, there aren't enough green beans/french-fried onions and it hasn't been cooked long enough

This year is the first year in two years that I will actually be getting to cook Thanksgiving dinner myself--prior to this we've gone to my aunt and uncle's for T-day. This year, however, since I have the SO to drag around now (yay!) my mother decided they would just celebrate the family Thanksgiving on Saturday. With less conflict over who is going to be where, all my cousins are also able to attend. So I am going to be cooking for nine people come Saturday but I have to spend my actual Thanksgiving day with my SO and his family (not that I mind).

My rant isn't about who's coming, it's about my dad. He's the one paying for all these shenanigans, mostly because when people ask my mom if they can bring stuff (and in this case, the only person who could possibly bring ANYTHING is my going-through-a-divorce uncle, as my cousins are either poor/incapable of cooking) she says not to worry about it. I agree with her; we only get together for a big meal like this once a year and I like to go all out. Dad, however, does not agree. I sent him a copy of the menu, and my mother approves of all of my ideas, but Dad says it's "too much." Mom has subsequently pointed out to him that not only are we going to be feeding nine adults, but those nine adults include six grown men, one of whom is a vegetarian (my SO) and another who is a picky eater (my bro). Besides, like Mom said, we can ALWAYS send home leftovers with my cousins (one is single and lives alone, the other is married but poor and always up for a free meal). Besides which, left to themselves, my SO and my bro could easily polish off all I have planned (my bro would just have to eat all the meat, that's all). Hopefully he gets with the program soon, because it's causing me undue stress.

[ShaniFaye]

Sultana, that could be a very interesting form of new thanksgiving entertainment....I bet it would get better ratings than the Macy's thanksgiving parade!!!!

[KellyC]

On the contrary, I am forced to spend Thanks Giving by myself. I cannot afford an ticket to go back to WA to spend the holiday with my family and friends (I just moved to the Bay Area for about 2 months now to live with my sister, who will be spending Thanks Giving with her in-laws, whom I hate very much and wish to have nothing to do with them at all, if possible). In addition to that, I don't know ANYBODY in this new, strange land....So it's going to be a a lonely Thanks Giving for me.

This may sound a bit ungrateful, but I have nothing to be thankful for or to be happy about. So don't fucking say "Happy Thanks Giving" to me!!!

[JustJess]

Want to go have Thanksgiving Dinner with my brother? He's in the Bay area too!

[Charlatan]

Originally Posted by KellyC

On the contrary, I am forced to spend Thanks Giving by myself. I cannot afford an ticket to go back to WA to spend the holiday with my family and friends (I just moved to the Bay Area for about 2 months now to live with my sister, who will be spending Thanks Giving with her in-laws, whom I hate very much and wish to have nothing to do with them at all, if possible). In addition to that, I don't know ANYBODY in this new, strange land....So it's going to be a a lonely Thanks Giving for me.

This may sound a bit ungrateful, but I have nothing to be thankful for or to be happy about. So don't fucking say "Happy Thanks Giving" to me!!!

There has to be someone from the TFP in the Bay area that can bring you in from the cold and offer you some turkey... Someone needs to put the call out.

[StanT]

Damn Mal, I'm jealous. However, I will be saying nana nana over Christmas.

I'm almost 50 years old, I live 1,000 miles from my parents and I'm hopping in a car tonight and driving to Illinois. My parents succeeded in laying out the guilt trip this year. I like my family, but only a few of them at a time and in short controlled doses.

For the last 6 years, Thanksgiving at my house has consisted of putting a turkey in the smoker at 6am, going skiing, and serving smoked turkey in the evening to whomever shows up. Holidays can't get low key enough for me.

[Furry]

Personally (and history notwithstanding), I think it's a secret American plot to be able to eat turkey twice a year instead of once.

However, looking at Stant's version of Thanksgiving... damn... turkey and skiing on the same day... I may have to emigrate...

[Daoust]

This thread makes me sad.

It's sad to see that there are people who don't find Th'giving to be their favourite holiday, as I view it to be. As Charlatan mentioned, our T'giving is at a warmer, nicer time of year, so that can contribute to it. I just love everything about that weekend. It's too bad that this holiday is a cause for stress and anxiety for some.

Second, I'm saddened in the way that Stan and Mal reference their relationship to their family and how that THanksgiving is an awkward and inconvenient holiday. I wish that somehow you are able to make amends with your parents and family and make the best of your family times.
Although I don't often show it, I really appreciate my family, especially around THanksgiving. It's often a wonderful time of togetherness and mutual appreciation, love and respect. How I wish it could be so with you folks too.

[snowy]

Originally Posted by Furry

Personally (and history notwithstanding), I think it's a secret American plot to be able to eat turkey twice a year instead of once.

Not everyone eats turkey on Thanksgiving AND Christmas--my family usually does turkey on one and ham on the other. Some people eat prime rib on either day, some people don't eat meat at all (weirdos).

This year we'll be serving both turkey and ham at dinner--my brother dislikes turkey. I can almost guarantee we'll be doing a ham come Christmas as well.

[maleficent]

Originally Posted by Daoust

Second, I'm saddened in the way that Stan and Mal reference their relationship to their family and how that THanksgiving is an awkward and inconvenient holiday. I wish that somehow you are able to make amends with your parents and family and make the best of your family times. .

my parents are lovely people... everybody thinks so - they will go out of their way for most anyone... If you didn't have a p lace to go for thanksgiving.. they'd take you in... feed you cloth you -- dad would crack open the very well stocked liquor cabinet and you'd enjoy yourself...

In my almost 41 years of life on this planet - i have realized that nothing I do will ever please them (because I didn't jump on the get married, have a baby bandwagon)- My sister, with her three obnoxious little shits - and one good kid. who's hosting thanksgiving - is the most useless breeder, I mean, person on the planet - and if i were to get hit by a bus tomorrow -- she wouldn't even care except for the inconvience of possibly having to attend a funeral.

Not everyone can have a Walton's family thanksgiving... and some families are better apart. The only way i woudl go now is if my brother and his wife were going because it's so much fun arguing with him...

If enjoy spending time with your family- more power to you... I don't enjoy it - and I'm honestly over it... no reason for you to be sad...

[paddyjoe]

Neither mrs. joe nor I have any family (well she's got a brother on Long Island, but that may as well be Mars) so, like some of you guys, friends seem to feel the need to 'take us in' for the day. Because heaven forbid we be alone on a holiday. Well hell, I do appreciate their concern, but to me it really is like a vacation day. I have to work Friday and Saturday so truthfully I would actually like to just lie around in my jammies (sleeper of course phil) and eat fried chicken and lemon pie. Shoot, I don't really even like turkey.

I hope that didn't sound like I was bitching because I love my friends to death, but I also enjoy the odd mid-week vacation day. Guess I'll just have to wait till Sunday.

[StanT]

My parents are also wonderful people and I think the world of them. I just can't tolerate their company for more than 2 days at a pop.

I've made several adult decisions that my parents have never accepted. After 2 days or so, they inevitably resurface. I try to time my visits accordingly.

[Grasshopper Green]

I've always loved Thanksgiving, but I can understand the family issues. This year dinner is at my step sisters house, and my dad and his wife are not attending. I'm anticipating an awkward evening for me and my hubby...

My dad, on the other had, is having dinner with his mom and four of his sisters. I'm glad I won't be attending that meal. I love my dad's family to death, but after about two hours together, someone will start arguing with someone else about the stupidest thing...I've never met a more stubborn group of people in my life.

PS - Candied yams are bleh. You have to mash them up, add some butter, cinnamon, brown sugar, and a can of well drained pineapple chunks...yummy.

[rlynnm]

Originally Posted by ngdawg

I love it, but if it's that gloppy, they aren't doing it right.
And what is with that cranberry shit in a can??? I lived near cranberry country, I don't get it...

I was waiting for someone to say something about the damn can shaped cranberry glop!! I was a bit afraid that I was the only one who thought it was odd. I dont know if people eat it. It's just one of those things that make a table look uh..pretty? Also the same way fruit cake is passed around during the holidays..fruit cake..yew.

[Craven Morehead]

The older I get the more I enjoy Thanksgiving. Maybe I'm more greatful, don't know. Wating for my youngest son to come home from college, should be here any minute now. On Thursday we're going to my cousin's. Her father died 6 weeks ago, this was his favorite holiday. He was also my favorite uncle. She asked us over to help fill her day. My dad's bringing her mother (his sister). It will be a very different Thanksgiving but one that I am quite looking forward to. Maybe some tears, for sure some laughs. The food is secondary.

My youngest son is a commercial pilot. He's flying on Thursday. He's overnighting in Montreal, by choice. Just so he could be in a town where all the restaurants are open. Last year he wasn't so lucky laying over in a US city.

[Rodney]

Well, after my rant about how we're staying home because my sister always hijacks the family Thanksgiving with my mother's collusion, I'm pleased to report that tonight a couple has asked us over to Thanksgiving at their house, here in town.

They're lovely people. Of course, it helped that we were treating them and two other couples out to dinner at the time in honor of my birthday. So I guess this was their way of saying "thanks." But since this _is_ Thanksgiving, I guess it's only appropriate!

[tspikes51]

Thanksgiving: my favorite holiday of the year. Then again, I like low-keyedness. Thanksgiving for my family since we moved 4 hours away from anybody has been sweet. On occasion we'll make the 4 hour drive to Knoxville or Columbus, but usually we stay home, maybe invite the next door neighbors over, eat in the afternoon, watch football, clean up, and play hearts. When we lived in Columbus, we'd just take the drive from New Albany to either Pickerington or Reynoldsburg (both about a 20-30 minute drive), and sometimes to Cambridge (a 1 1/2 hour drive). It still stayed low-key; lots of Coke (the drink), peanut M&M's, turkey sandwiches with Granny's noodles (which unfortunately I will no longer be able to enjoy), doleing out Christmas lists, and playing hearts and spades. I guess it's no stress for me now because I usually just tag along, and if I need to leave for something, I go to Easton (big ass mall) if I'm in Columbus or go outside and play football with my little brother if I'm in Knoxville.

[ryfo]

Come to Australia, we dont have thanksgiving- and xmas is usually a bbq + drinking (avoiding family) then we all go to the MCG to watch cricket on Boxing Day- you can stay at my place(pets only no kids) Oh and Mrs Ryfo of course!!

[scout]

We all bitch and moan about our family but ya know in the end all you have that really matters is family. It seems the older I get the more important family has become. This year for the first time in my life we are hosting Thanksgiving dinner and although there are some that really get on my nerves and I really believe them to be a truly worthless POS their still family.

[Dragonknight]

Yeah my only rant is that I will be missing my third T-Day (second in a row) due to work. I love sitting in a small family setting eating that ROUND ASS CRANBERRY SAUCE!!! YUM (I will admit that the real stuff is better though) Normally it's just my sisters, wife and mother so it's nice and calm.

[World's King]

Just remember that the day before Thanksgiving is always Wild Turkey Day.

Grab a bottle and forget everything your thankful for.

[canuckguy]

Originally Posted by World's King

Just remember that the day before Thanksgiving is always Wild Turkey Day.

Grab a bottle and forget everything your thankful for.

Thats a great holiday, i use to celebrate it weekly in university.

[mr sticky]

I'm sorry- I've been preoccupied since reading that Shani likes fruitcake!

FRUITCAKE!?

Does this call for an intervention or is it just me?

So, mal... no turkey day for you... How about WK's Wild Turkey Day? I think that would be much more fun!

*me waits for the deluge of TFPers to invite you over

Seriously though... when I go against convention, I usually design my own tradition that I enjoy and has meaning to me. Even if it's just to lounge and play video games or make cookies. I know one family who spends the entire thanksgiving weekend making cookies and treats. They'll refuse any invitation to any function, because, after twelve years, it's now a tradition.

So...my advice, make your own tradition.

Others won't understand but they'll respect it.

[maleficent]

Originally Posted by mr sticky

So, mal... no turkey day for you... How about WK's Wild Turkey Day? I think that would be much more fun!

*me waits for the deluge of TFPers to invite you over
.

I'm not much of a drinker and drinking alone is well - just sad...

I am actually having turkey day -- for one- I'm not that pathetic -- well I am but...... for the first time in forever, I am actually making a menu that I like and not making stuff that other people like (ie sweet taters with disgusting pineapple in it, green bean casserole and a few other things)

I have a small turkey breast (because I get completely creeped out by a turkey carcass) that's brining as we speak.. and there will be veal sausage/apple and sage stuffing, mashed taters, and roasted beets, and a spectacular wild mushroom gravy. Enough for leftovers -- in fact any homeless folks in the New hampshire area are welcome to drop on by.. i got beer in the fridge and I'll even vacuum..