A very uncomfortable checkout at the grocery store
 

So, I had a story that I thought I would share just for the sake of sharing an interesting story.

My wife came home last night from buying groceries at a certain very large southern grocery store chain that begins with a Kro and ends with a ger. She walks through the door and I can tell she is flustered. She looks at me and says, "I just had the most uncomfortable checkout at a grocery I've ever had in my life." This, coming from the woman who was accosted one time in the checkout line at Wal-Mart because she "looked too young to have children and she should be in school and not having babies". (my wife was 28 at the time, btw). So, of course, I had to listen to see what could be worse than that.

To precede this story, I want to mention that my wife also has our two children with her at the grocery store. My 3.75 year old son and my 1.25 year old son.

Okay, so my wife decides on a whim last night to buy some alcohol. This is a rarity for us. My wife will have a beer maybe every 6th time we go out to eat, and I drink probably no more than 10 alcoholic drinks a year. To have it at the house, is even more rare. Something that usually happens only when we have people over for a cookout. Well, I was out of town for work the past 4 days, and the wife wanted to relax a little during our cookout (I grilled some caesar parmesean burgers) and have a beer.

Now, getting to the meat of this story.... the lady is now checking my wife out and when she gets to the beer, of course asks for her ID. My wife hands her the ID and the lady reads off (12/14/72)? and my wife says, "No, 75, but hey, that's a good trick" to which the lady replies, "my husband died from this stuff.". /timeout --- What the? Who the? Fucking balls lady.. I mean seriously.. who just "throws" this into a conversation? ...okay, return to your regularly scheduled story.--- /timein. My wife just stood there stunned and eventually stammered, "I...I'm...sorry?" and the lady continued, "yah, from alcohol. it killed him"

My wife at this point is just so flustered she forgets to even give the lady her "kroger card" to get the actual price of the items (don't get me started on grocery chains and their dumbass cards). She finishes checking out and it dawns on her she forgot so she has to go to the customer service counter to get them to take the discount off her ticket. At this time, the manager asks her if something is wrong, because apparently my wife was that distressed by this encounter. She explains what happened and tried to be as sensitive as possible knowing that she doesn't know this women's situation. Regardless though, the woman was out of line, particularly speaking like that in front of our children. I mean, if my 3 year old were just a little bit older and picked up on the fact that the lady was saying, "these drinks here are what killed my husband, so they will probably kill your mommy and daddy", my wife would have been enraged and so would I have been.

So, anyway, there you go. I thought it was an interesting story. Feel free to comment.

I have as much sympathy for that checkout lady as I do for the pharmacists that won't distribute birth control: none. If you aren't comfortable with the product that your company sells, either suck it up or work somewhere else.

Was the manager sympathetic?

The headquarters for Kroger used to be in the god-forsaken town in Kansas I lived in. I didn't really care when they packed up for Cinncinati.

I've been asked all sorts of inaproppriate things by check out clerks. Not the part time kids, but by the 40 something grizzled vets. These are folks who don't make jack squat (especially at Kroger - which is damn determined to spend $0 on employees).

One of my favorites was going into an ABC store in NC, which is the place to buy anything harder than wine. It was walled off so you couldn't actually go near the liquor, you had to do your purchase through a turn around plastic window. I asked if this was how all liquor was sold in NC. The clerk said, "this is how we do it for people looking for a hard way to go".

Wow. Thanks for side of guilt with my low proof Tarantula tequila.

I could just imagine the lectures that people would get for buying cigarettes...

If she worked in a gas station, would she remind someone putting gas in their car that they lost a relative to acar accident... had it not been for the gas that ran that car, they'd still be alive.

No. Ya really can't.

I didn't pay for an opinion, service and a product.

I paid for a service and a product.

I didn't ask for one, please don't give me one.

justs because I can be the mean sort... I'd want to go to her checkout counter.. and buy lots of condoms (and make it known I'm not married), booze, cigarettes, and lots of fat laden products... oh and salt because that could contribute to high blood pressure...

Like my parents told us when we were kids... when I want your opinion.. I'll beat it out of you :D

He may have killed himself using alcohol, but it was his own doing, not the alcohol, nor the person selling it.

I'm generally civil in public, but I would have made an exception in this case.

Yes, the manager at least apologized profusely for the incident.


I wonder if this woman harbors guilt because she never did anything to stop her husband from drinking. Or, possibly was ineffective at deterring him at least.

When my wife told me what the lady said - "my husband died from this stuff". I told her that I would have been tempted to immediately reply, "what? waiting in line at Kroger?"

I just couldn't believe how out of hand the comment was. Wildly inappropriate in my opinion.

And in mine.

mal didn't beat one out of you did she? :D

I hate when people who you don't know, start offering personal opinons and comments. I once had a checkout women, appropos of nothing, tell me her daughter had just been diagnosed as a sociopath! What do you say to something like that?

"Can you give me her number? I hear girls like that are freaks in bed."

I've had people tell me they'll pray for me. I've had people refuse to sell me cigarettes "for my own good," I had one fellow jokingly ask for a sin tax in addition to the ol' regular tax(although I'm not so sure anymore that he was joking at all) and on more than one occasion, I've heard the tragic story of some mother/father/aunt/uncle/grandfather/second-cousin's-neighbor's-friend who died a slow, pitiful, painful death from tobacco.

I was in a local grocery store a few years back and in order to get my single pack of cigarettes, I had to wait in a regular checkout line (even if I had no other items), the cashier (once I got to her) had to escort me over to the tobacco shoppe (two p's and an e because I guess that's quiant), ask a supervisor to unlock the door, get the cigarettes, walk all the way back to the checkout lane and then she could ask for my I.D. When I first ran into this incredibly complicated dance o' tobacco, I cracked a joke about leaving a hair & blood sample for later comparison. She tells me they make it hard that way on purpose as most of "your kind" (yes, she used the phrase your kind) will usually just give up and walk away.

I've kind of hi-jacked the thread there a bit, so, I'll just leave it at...

I probably would've went with your response, "what? waiting in line at Kroger?" or something similarly sarcastic. I don't mind casual conversation, but this wasn't casual conversation.

I'm constantly amazed by the low standards of behavior people in customer service-type positions seem willing to exhibit. I mean, aren't they embarrassed?

I once was checking out at a grocery store after having been to several other stores. When the cashier asked me if I wanted a bag, I said, "Yes, and could I have a big one, so I can consolidate all these packages?" He turned to the bagger and started mocking me, saying, "Oooh, big word! What was that big word? Con-So-Li-Date. I don't know if we can do that, George. Do we know that big word?" I was totally shocked! I hadn't done anything to offend the guy, as far as I could tell.

I used to work for a grocery store, a smaller several state chain, and it was also the only one my parents ever shopped at. It's on the top 100 companies to work for every year, great customer service, they don't stand for any crap. When I moved to boston, I couldn't believe the customer service at other grocery store chains... absolutely apalling. I wish every store was like Wegmans.

haha I was thinking the same exact thing while I was reading the story!

Yeah! I have a few colleagues who can be rude to customers like that, and they're all 40+. Us young'uns only sass customers who wants to trade sass. They have to start though. I have to bite my lip when pregnant women buy cigs for themself, but I do keep my mouth shut. It's not like they don't know it's bad already.

That woman's comment... ugh. I'd drink myself to death too if I was married to her!

I was thinking of my reply: "Boy, I am really sorry to hear that. You must still be dealing with the tragic loss. Let me assure you that not everyone dies from consuming alcohol, and it is actually quite socially acceptable. I guess that is the reason you guys sell it in your store."

This lady must be really fucked up about the whole thing. How long do you guys think her husband has been dead? Was it her first shift back after the funeral? Is she borderline crazy? I just feel pity for broken spirits like these...

Eh? I'm not trying to defend the lady at all, but I don't get what the big deal is, was it because the kids were there? Why can't you just shrug it off? I get that it's an odd comment, but we already know people die all the time of such things, why does it matter if someone tells you? Maybe I'm just wierd.

Not to jump off the party train, but I don't think what she said would have bothered me at all. The intent to scare or confuse is usually VERY apparent, and if it's not there, I'll return a random comment in kind. I personally don't mind hearing random shit from my baggers, grocers, hair cutters, whatever.. they're people too and I honestly don't mind being their counselor for a minute or two. Hey, its interesting shit to hear, if you ask me..

I probably woulda been like .. "No shit? Liver poisoning or suicide or what?" If she's comfortable telling me that someone died, then I wanna hear about it. To be honest, I find it REFRESHING when someone breaks the societal norms and is blantantly honest with everyone they meet.

EDIT: It should be noted that you can only behave this way if you have little or no inhibitions. That's why you get these kind of comments from drunk people, insane people, or superhonest people. I find these kind of people (generally) interesting, because you can get all sorts of hilarious insights out of them. I only wish my grocer at Safeway would tell me random shit about their life every time I came through -- I'd keep going back just so I could talk to them and ask how their dead husband or their new boyfriend were.. it adds personality -- no longer some sterile corporation that checks me out in silence..

I would have retorted with, "No shit? My husband died during a robbery at the Kroger where he worked as a cashier. I guess we're both fucked, huh?"

...
 

^ :lol:
I'm curious as to why the cashier felt the need to make that comment! :confused: Did your wife actually find out the reason this rude kroger lady wanted to share that little fact about her husband? Im assuming your wife just assumed the lady is bonkers, I would. I'm so sarcastic that I might have ended up hurting the kroger ladies feelings. Maybe with a ....... "WoW, :hmm: great story. . . :hmm:."

Oh, some people. Wuteryagonnado?

I don't understand why anyone would get flustered from the cashier's remarks. I would have just assumed that she was still grieving and maybe a little out of it and just moved on without comment as long as she rings up the sale for the right amount.

I have mixed feelings about this. Saying something like that in front of young children isn't appropriate, because there is a good chance it will scare them about mommy drinking it. Then again, her husband may have died fairly recently and she could have been still grieving and seeing the alcohol could have been a trigger for her; after my brother died I had a hard time watching people buy sleeping pills and while I would never have said anything to anyone about it, I'm not a vocal person and some people are. One thing I've learned working in a grocery store though, is that people volunteer random shit all the time...for every inappropriate comment a cashier makes like this, said cashier has probably heard three from customers.

On a totally unrelated note, Pip, I read your favorite day was the day after seniors came in, and I cracked up :thumbsup:

I worked at that chain before for 4 years. I would never have said anything like that to a customer. It's just too heavy to throw into a 'small-talk' conversation. However, maybe she is still grieving or maybe she's bitter and wants people to feel sorry for her. I've worked with both types of people. One lady I worked with had every ailment in the book. She would constantly tell customers about her diabetes, high-bnlood pressure, high cholestrol, and so on relating it to products they would buy. Needless to say, many people tried to avoid her all together.
The only situation I can think of similar that may have made my customers uncomfortable is after my dog died. Everytime someone came through with dog food I would start crying or become upset. It's a trigger. However, that was only for a couple days and then you get used to seeing the stuff.
I don't know what I would've done in that situation. I probably would have just said sorry to hear that and go on my way. Of course, I would try not to go through her line again.

Oh, nice! "Was that cheaper than a divorce?"

It all depends on the dynamics of the situation, of course, whether you'd want to be that vile.

That's what I'm wondering.

For example, maybe she wasn't even referring to consumption of alcohol (*well, it looks like she was, but my point is that her comment could be understood as explaining why she was scrutinizing whether your wife was authorized to purchase alcohol, not to be rude or make her uncomfortable).


it just seems like we're missing some backstory cuz you went through a really long discussion about your wife recieving comments for her age, and then the cashier tried her little "trick" and was "called" on it by your wife. Soooo, it just seems more reasonable to me to conclude the cashier was more commenting along the lines of "my husband died from this stuff....so I'm careful when I sell it."

BFD, I'm with JinnKai, I like crazy/honest people, too. Seems to be in short order these days...but, referencing this thread would lead one to believe that compassion is, as well. I don't know how you'd be offended beyond belief over this, she didn't refuse to sell the shit and didn't even act like that was on her mind to do. But the recommended responses? come on, people...

I'm more pissed when the cashiers make me take my license out of my wallet--that's what the fucking plastic is for (and Cali driver's licenses have and always have the picture on the left when over 21 and on the right when under, big stamps across the top, red lettering date, & etc.--basically, you don't need a loupe to determine whether I'm 21+, but I digress....)

I think it was rude, some people find it very embarrassing when someone tries to make them feel guilty, or thinks badly of them, or seems to think badly of them. Anyway, this probably wouldn't have happened to me, but I wouldn't have minded if something similar did happen. I guess it's because of my longstanding interaction with people who don't know the meaning of decorum both literally and figuratively.

NICE -- you sound like an engineer or something! Those are definitely the kinds of numbers I'll be using to tell the age of my children.

Re: the story, I agree -- the clerk was out-of-line. I see is more of a judgment thing...she's daring to judge me based on what I buy? Your husband didn't die from alcohol, he killed himself with it.

Ummm, why was your wife "distressed" about what the cashier said? I had to read the story four times to make sure I didn't miss something. What exactly did the cashier do wrong? She may not have good conversational skills, but what she said was nothing to get upset about.

haha. Well, yah, kind of. Software developer :D

Yes, it upset her quite a bit. My wife realized that the woman might have for sure been upset and maybe it was something she was still trying to get over, and yes the backstory was unknown. However, she was just so taken aback. It felt to her like the woman was trying to accuse her of something. It made her uncomfortable more than anything though. It wasn't until she thought about the implication of the statement and the fact that she made it in front of our kids that it really started to make her upset.


I don't think the age had anything to do with it. I think the woman came out of left field at her simply because she was buying alcohol.

Perhaps a drunk driver got the husband? not that it is relevant to the sale of the product in question, not that there is any way to find out, but it makes me curious-

Well technically as alcohol is a poison and the instrument of death, it is what killed him. In the case of premature death, there are always the two factors: both who and what. He was the who, the alcohol was the what (assuming we're talking liver failure or something).

Back to your regularly scheduled thread about how stupid people are.

Personally... I'm all for blatant, stark statements that come out of the blue and exist for little more than shock value to force someone into a simulated state of moralism.... but not in front of the kids... that's not cool.

Saying what she said in front of the kids was wrong.

For the honesty folks in the thread, what do you tell your SO's when they ask you if they look fat?

What do you think I say?

NSFW:
http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...lusciousmunkee
http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...lusciousmunkee

It's much easier to check whether the card is fake or not if you can see and touch it outside of the plastic cover. The only reason this would make sense is if (a) you look young enough that they think maybe the card is fake, or (b) store policy is to always make sure the card is presented out of any cover.

If it's store policy they may think it's annoying also, but what the heck, they are paid to follow policy. The store sets such goofy policies because "stings" have caught them selling to people with good fake IDs.

The "stings" were run by law enforcement, who work for the government. The government is those people who ultimately answer to you, the taxpaying voter.

SO IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!

Maybe I've been in customer service too long, but I don't take that kind of crap from service workers, especially if my daughter is around.

I leave.

There's always someplace else to shop. And if I'm feeling pissy, I'll let the manager know why I'm taking my business elsewhere.

I'm an honest, very open person, so that comment probably wouldn't have bothered me. I more than likely would have made a snappy comeback. However, if my 4 year old daughter was in hearing distance, the story would be radically different. I probably would have told her comments such as that are not appropriate, and then asked her if she had any vices she wished to share with us. After all, we're all going to die from something sometime.

cashier shoudl be seriously disaplined for that!

you dont die from drinking alcohol, you die from abusing it.and it shouldnt be discussed in front of children i agree!
its always wise to know what to do after a situation..maybe the best thing to do would be to simply say 'what on earth are you tellin me that for?'?!
that said this woman could haev serious issues, probably does by the sound of it.ppl ar strange.