Keyless remote entry...is evil
 

I wasn't sure where to put this thread, but I figured general discussion covers it. I currently have two vehicles. A 2003 Ford Explorer, and a 2001 Ford Mustang. I love my car, I love my truck. Included with these amazings vehicles is a keyless remote entry device. Also very handy. No more days of having to actually "put" the key into the lock. I don't even think I have ever even done so. Anyway, both are similar, the pictures are just different enough for me to know which one belongs to which vehicle. A closed lock for lock, an open lock for unlock, a blue button for the trunk, and then there is the red button of doom. The "panic" button. This red button was designed by the devil himself in my opinion. How many countless times have you been driving to the market, or anywhere, you stop, get out, hit the lock button. (once for those who trust, twice to make the car give that little beep that says "Yup, I am locked. Put your mind at ease.") You place the keys into your pocket and walk away. Then.....something happens. That little red button senses your movements. He looks around in your pocket, and waits for you to get at least 10 feet from the car. Then, he goes off. BEEP BEEP BEEP!!!! Non stop honking, lights flashing, and everyone in the parking lot looking to see what idiot set off his panic button. You quickly drop everything and shoot your hand into your pocket to get your keys out. He knows this, so he dodges back and forth, just out of reach and just long enough to embarrass you completely. You yank the keys out, hit random buttons, and after managing to unlock the car and pop the trunk, you finally stop the honking. And as the sound rumbles off across the parking lot. He sleeps. Until the next time.

I feel deep down. That buttons only purpose is to embarrass the general public on a daily basis. I would love to hear from anyone who has used the panic button for a real panic situation, and had a favorable result. Please feel free to add your own embarrassing panic button situations as well. And remember, be careful, that bastard gets EVERYONE eventually.

Thankfully my new car's keyless remote only has two buttons... lock and unlock.

I will, however, keep an eye out for the fumbling goofball with the wailing car. If I see you I will laugh and wave.

Cheers!

i don't panic and don't care.

people don't look or even bat an eye to see the flashing lights or horns...

happens once in a blue moon to me, but usually when I'm being stupid and just pressing the first button I feel on the keyfob.

My 2.5 year old son LOVES the panic button. There's nothing better than the ability to make lots of noise and flashing lights on a really big machine with a simple button press!

We just installed a key rack by the door so that we can keep the keys out of his reach, for now.

i actually used the panic button sombobody was trying to pop the lock on my car and get inside so i het the button and the guy fell like someone hit him with a sledgehammer. a cop saw this and arrested the guy right there. so that is why my trusty panic button is the best

Ditto to Charlatan, our car with remote entry only features two buttons, lock and unlock. There might be a way to get it to go into panic mode, but I don't have a clue.

I haven't had this happen with my car, but rather my house. I have a similar thing for my house alarm. I have hit the panic button a few times, never for a reason. I learned that it does not matter how fast you call the alarm company, the cops will be immediately dispatched to your house if the panic button is pushed. We have fun timing how long it takes them to actually get to my house. The last time, if it were a burglar, our stuff would have been long gone. The neighbors have stopped coming out of their houses to see what happened when our alarm goes off.

I am glad it worked for you, and that is the first time I have heard of it serving a purpose. Has it ever gone off on accident though? Or have you actually appeased the red button devil? :)

Reminds me of the time I was supposed to unlock a big ass truck so we could start loading it. The driver tossed me the keys and I just figured you put the key in the door and unlock it, but noooo, the bastard had set the alarm. So the big truck starts blinking and making scary noises. The alarm remote had four identical black buttons that I pressed in a panic. One of them shut up the alarm. Problem solved. So I stick the key in the lock again... blinking and honking again of course. But now I know which button shut it up. One of the remaining three must turn off the alarm, but which one? I got it on the second try. All the while my "dear" friends are laughing their asses off as I try to open the evil truck. I hate car alarms.

It's only happened once to me...and that was because I was holding it and pushed the wrong button.

My wife was somewhere a while back when (she believes) her panic alarm went off. However there were enough people there that thought it their vehicle they began pushing their panic buttons to silence what they though was their car making all the noise. Needless to say the honking and horn flashing in the parking lot went on for some time.

I had an alarm on my K5 blazer that had a panic button, the only thing I ever used it for was to scare the shit out of fellow employees when they walked past my truck in the parking lot.

I think it would be a real hoot to get your child and clavus's demonseed in a room together and watch hilarity ensue :)

The other day I was borrowing a colleagues car to go to the store for a bit, and I clearly can't be trusted wiht button things.. I set off the alarm three times while trying to unlock the door... Idon't know why I didn't get the panic button didn't unlock the door on t he first try, i had to hit it three more times to be sure... I got back into the office and eeveryone knew it was me making all that racket... Sometimes I really wonder if I am a redhead or a blonde..

Likewise. I was sitting in a window seat at a Pizza Hut once, and some jerkwad decided my car would be comfortable to lean against.

The panic button cleared him out very nicely.

Hmm... i'm with Cynthetiq on this one.... Car alarms don't really do much to me, and people that I know in general. There was this one time where I was at my buddy's place, and there was a guy walking past his parked car (just walking, not trying to steal it or anything). Anyway, I pressed the panic button (because I was bored, and i'm kind of a jerk I guess) right when he got to the driver's door. The guy didn't even flinch

Pop you're remote open and remove the small circuit board. Take the thin "clicky" piece of metal off the top of the panic switch on the circuit board. Reassemble the unit and you'll notice that you have to dig your fingernail into the panic button to get it to go off. It still works, but won't go off prematurely.

There may be something wrong with your car. My wife owned a saturn a few years ago. The keyless entry/alarm thing seemed to be possessed. The panic thing would go off for no reason if you locked the doors with the key fob. It could just be sitting in the driveway and an hour or two later... honk honk honk. After having them look at again and again, they finally determined that there was in deed a problem with the way the software was set up. They reprogrammed it using the magic elves that dealers keep around for these times, and it never happened again.

I don't think of it as a "Panic Button" as much as I do a "Universal Vehicle Locater™".

I use it when I come out of a concert/sporting event/drunken party when I can't remember where the hell I parked.

I reach in, pull out the UVL™ and now I (and everyone else) knows where I parked. :lol:

Originally, I used to just repeatedly beat on the lock button and listen for the honk, but it seems that the panic button seems to have more range, so I also use it as "UVL" :D

Just so long as neither of them breeds with my demon daughter...

I was on the front porch chatting with my neighbour yesterday and my car started to repeatedly make the chirp sound it makes when the car is locking.

My first thought is, someone must be on the same frequency as my remote (no occams law for this fellow)... Then I realize it is my 2-year-old at the front window laughing and giggling as she "helped Daddy" by locking the car...

For her encore she helped clean the house by dragging all of her dolls out and shoving them in the washing machine, "clean dollies... make Mommy happy!". At least she couldn't reach the laundry detergent... :rolleyes:

Monster child

I love it when I come home at about 2 am, try to open the trunk and hit the wrong button. I know my neighbors love it too! Some times I "accidentally" do it when I can't find a parking spot because a bunch families have about 25 cars each. oops

We bust on each other at work because you can see the parking lot in fron t of our building from inside. When someon walks by your car, hit the panic button. I've had the crap scared out of me before. Pretty funny if everyone gets along!

I have a solution. I hated the panic button on my car too. Damn thing always goes when you accidentally press it. Most key fobs have a two piece shell that can be pryed open to replace the battery. Inside is a circuit board and rubber button assembly. Cut a small piece of electrical tape, and carefully placed it over the contact for the panic button. Put it all back together and your button is completely disabled.

No panic button on any of the keyless entry dealies we have. The alarms are super-sensitive though--you CANNOT lock the doors and THEN start the engine--it has to be the other way around, otherwise you set off the alarm. It took us a while to figure that out...

But Volvos are hard to steal anyhow, so we don't really worry too much :D

The noise/vibration sensitivity on a lot of today's car alarms are set too fine. When I ride my stock Harley (pretty quiet) past any parking lot or group of parked cars and rev the motor a little I almost always set off a few alarms.

I agree.

As a past owner of vehicleS without a muffler (I was poor and didn't give a shit), I would regularly set off car alarms by shifting into neutral and revving the engine just as I would pass a parked car. *WOoOP* *WOoOP* *WOoOP* *NNaNK* *NNaNK* *NNaNK*

It was even more cool when I have a van that would backfire "on command" (floor gas pedal for 5-7 seconds then quickly let off). I used to make people duck, thinking they were being shot at. (NOTE: do not try this is a 'bad' neighbor, someone will shoot back. Listen to the voice of experience.)

I started this thread, and now I have an update to my "Panic Button problems"
Last night as I was getting ready to crawl into bed, I removed my pants in the dark, and then stepped on them on my way to the bed. I had my keys in my pocket, and I set off the panic button. Now, I have a 3 bedroom ranch home. My bedroom is on the opposite end of the house, the farthest away you can get from the driveway. That bastard button sent that signal through at least 5 walls to get to the car. And you can just bet, that if I ever really needed it to go off, I could be 5 feet away, and the damn thing wouldn't work. Murphy's Law my friends.

Hilarious post, and so true...

I'm sorry, but I saw this:

And got the biggest laugh. :)

used to have a viper after-market alarm system on my previous car. only two buttons, but if you held down the lock button for 3+ seconds, the panic went off. really enjoyed this feature, especially on a car not normally equipped with keyless, and would buy another one if i had a car worthy of stealing.

Try pressing and holding the lock button. That sometimes sets it off.