Mom hires stripper for son's 16th B-day party
 

Just saw this on MSNBC and thought I would get a discussion going about it.

All I can say is that if Jerry Springer still had his show on the air, this family along with the stripper would be on it. What is going on with some of the parents nowadays?? :confused:

_________________________________________________________________
Mom indicted for hiring stripper for son

‘It didn’t harm him,’ mother says of effect on 16-year-old

Updated: 5:32 a.m. ET May 29, 2005NASHVILLE, Tenn. - A mother faces criminal charges after she hired a stripper to dance at her 16-year-old son’s birthday party.

Anette Pharris, 34, has been indicted by a grand jury on charges of contributing to the delinquency of a minor and involving a minor in obscene acts. The boy’s father, the stripper and two others also face charges.

“I tried to do something special for my son,” Pharris said. “It didn’t harm him.”

About 10 people under the age of 18 were at the birthday party in September, including minors who were not related to the family, authorities said.

Police spokesman Don Aaron said minors are not permitted in adult establishments.

“A person shouldn’t be allowed to circumvent that law by hiring a stripper, a lady who took all her clothes off and spent a good amount of time dancing around minors,” he said.

Anette Pharris took photos at the party and tried to have them developed at a nearby drug store. Drug store employees notified authorities, police said.

“Who are they to tell me what I can and can’t show to my own children?” the mother said.
_________________________________________________________________

The problem is not a stripper at a 16th birthday (Way to go, momma!!!). The problem is the criminal stupidity manifest in having the pictures developed at the local drug store. Go digital, babe, or at the very least polaroid. Save you much hassle it will.

apparently "they" are the people needed to protect her children from herself.

Not that I think it has been terribly scarring for the 16yo son to see a naked woman, I'm sure he plans on seeing more of em... but if you plan on doing something borderline illegal, or really illegal, and try to have pictures of it developed at a local public store, you should realise that it is those people's duty even to call the authorities.

And I agree, to have the mother do this for her son, and invite some friends over to boot, that really starts to have a Jerry!-Jerry!-Jerry!-feel to it.

d'oh, Tophat beat me to it :p

......idiot

what is this world coming to where a parent cant do what she wants for her kids.this is fin retarded she shoudl sue someone

Mybe it's because I had a very conservative upbringing, but I'm apalled at this mother.

I know I"m pretty conservative... even uptight... and I can't help but t hink what the hell is the matter with the mother. I have an idea..that she's trying to do whatever she can to be a friend to her son rather than a parent to her son. She's doing a pretty good job winning cool parent points... but is hiring a stripper really in the best interest of this boy? I'm thinking the answer there is no.

It makes a good case for digital cameras and home printers.

Hard to imagine a 16 year old harmed by seeing boobs. Hard to imagine a mom thinking this is a good idea. Hard to imagine that the police don't have better things to do. Dumb ass mom, dumb ass drug store, dumb ass cops, can we just say that everyone involved is a dumb ass

I'm with Maleficent, but come from the other side of the spectrum. I'm not conservative; indeed I'm probably a bit too liberal, but I too wonder what the hell is wrong with that mother.

Sheesh...


Mr Mephisto

Bah everyone knows its the dad's job to get his son a hooker for his 16th birthday.

Does this mean if a mother let her 14 year old kid watch a rated 15 year movie they can be taken to jail for some kind of negligence? I think parents should be able to judge when their child may be able to view provactive material.
That said, it was also stupid to have the photos developed in a public place as well!

:lol:

I too am pretty liberal but I have to wonder what was going through this mother's head when she wanted something "special" for his birthday.

A parent can make whatever decisions they want with their own children. That's not the problem. the problem is the 10 other minors at the party that were no relation to the mother. She made a decision for them that she's not allowed to .

I think there's something weird with a mother being involved in any way with sexual entertainment of her 16 year-old son. There are boundary issues there that Freud with have a field day with.

-it shows changes in our society.

im agine down the road, the same problem but instead Mommy bought a prostitute. it really shows how children are being exposed to more earlier in their lives. these things 30 years ago would be outrageous to everyone, not just some people. childhood and modesty and limitations are being reduced slowly dont you think?

I'm in total support of the mother here (and wish that my mom was that cool. Actually, she probably was, I just would never have the cajones to ask for a stripper...)

Anyway, I think we all need to lighten up, here. It's not like she hired prostitutes to come and service the kids at the party. In reality, it's most likely nothing that the boys hadn't been exposed to, oh, maybe 8 years earlier. If we had more parents like her, then maybe this country wouldn't have such a stupid, taboo hangup on nudity and sexuality. We still live in one of the most Puritan societies in the developed Western world.

Where I live, in Pennsylvania, 16 is the age of sexual consent. I'm not sure how that relates to strippers, but I can certainly say that these young men were of an age (the perfect age, actually) where they can both enjoy, learn, develop, and have a whole lot of good stories to tell from this entertainment.



They're not being reduced fast enough. The sooner, the better.

I'm sorry, the most important question as yet to be asked, "But was the stripper hot?"


I don't know...on the one hand I'm all for people (even 16 year old boys) exploring their sexuality and the sight of a naked woman probably did no real lasting damage except to the boys' underwear. On the other hand, "Mommy" brought the stripper and there's something a bit creepy about that.

I think that the real issue here is what this woman exposed the other teenagers to. I think that, while Springer as hell, hiring a stripper for your own child is your buisness. HOWEVER, hiring a stripper and then inviting other people's children over to see it crosses the line. Unless every kid's parents knew what was going to happen and were OK with it, this is where the issue lies with me. I'd file suit against her once she got done with the grand jury.

that happened somewhere near where i lived when i was in high school. history repeating. i just don't understand the lack of moral judgement in these people.

It wasn't a smart move on the Mother's part. But it also shows how obsessed our culture is with nudity. It's a naked body, we all have one.

And she could have taken him to a boxing match or bought him a violent video game & that would have been okay. Like kids can process & handle violence, but not nudity.
*shrugs shoulders*

If anything, it's just a tad bit creepy. I don't see anything that should be punished though. So it's a naked girl. What's the big deal? The kid probably has a computer and the internet.. so the corruption has loooooong since happened.

Well I pretty much view 16-year-olds as borderline adults anyway. I mean, they have sex, they can drive a car, get a job and be independent, they have their own opinions and can survive on their own at that point...I don't see that it's a reason for criminal charges, it's not like it was a room full of six-year-olds. I do agree that the mom aspect of it is a little unsettling, it kind of hits my gut wrong but I could easily see the dad doing something like that and people would never think twice about it. Or would they?

looking at pictures of a nekkid woman is one thing... I'd venture to say that the majority of 16 year old boys won't get the chance to see any nekkid female let alone a fully grown woman in the flesh... They'll have to be adults in a few short years, why push them into adulthood too soon, especially when the majority of them aren't ready for it.

that's probably the first stripper of many more to come (no pun intended :D )

Right on, TM875... Let's put this in perspective, in just over a year he and/or some of his friends will be off to the Middle East to fight. Part of the thing about turning 16 is that it is the first step into manhood. His mother knew it would be something he and his friends would freak over - and it would be fun. If you are old enough to pay taxes, you can watch a girl dance around in my book.

My mother bought me my first subscription to Playboy when I turned 16, and I thought it was a riot. She said "you work, you go to school, and you handle the lawn and chores of the household, I think you can handle Miss September. Besides, it's the kids who are sheltered that end up with a baby by 17!"

Of course what she was really saying was that I could feel comfortable around her and talk to her about anything if I needed to. Loved her for that. :thumbsup:

At best, the mother hired a campy Carmen Miranda type Burlesque dancer whose performance was more about titallation than hard core sleaze.

At worst and perhaps more likely, this was Dad's idea and he and his buddies got drunk in front of the Kids and were all over the stripper.

Other than attending an underground cock fight, I can't imagine a worse idea for a kids party. Yeesh!

I find this quote interesting. There were 10 people there, some of them unrelated to the family who were minors. It's not just a matter of what she showed her son, it's what she showed the other kids at the party. If the kids there knew about the stripper at the party do you really think they'd go home and tell their parents? Of corse not. But chances are, more then a few of their parents wouldn't want their kids viewing a stripper. I'd be interested to know whether or not she informed the other parents what would be going on and if she didn't, wouldn't it make her a hypocrite?

It's kinda disgusting when you think about it. She hires a stripper, a symbol of sexuality, essentially live pornography and then takes pictures of her son and the other kids and the stripper? Isn't that just a little odd for a Mom to do?

I wonder too, if there would be a different reaction if a Dad hired a stripper for his daughter's 16th and took pictures.

At least it wasn't the mother doing the stripping...

hmm.. Interesting topic.... I'm with the fact it's a little creepy that she was hired by mom, rather than dad.... and the fact that the parents of the 10 others under 18 should have been aware... I think the proper thing to do would have been either to get permission from the other parents.. or send mom out... invite people over 18..maybe a couple of dads friends.. and make it a "guy" thing...

I wonder just how comfortable 16-year-old boys would be in the presence of a stripper *and* the mother. Odd, indeed.

I guess I'm on the extreme conservative side. I'm a mother and I take that job pretty seriously. Granted most boys at 16 have seen this stuff and maybe even more but as a mother I wouldn't say it was OK. For the guys out there, wasn't it part of the fun sneaking around and finding out about it on your own? I don't think its the fact of the stripper, its the fact that mommy went and got it for him. Let kids find out about that stuff on their own. If my mom said its OK and exposed me to that stuff, I think I would have joined the convent. Remember the days when parents and sex just creeped you out?

I'm glad there are parents like you who do not look at the role as being your children's best friend. I don't know when that idea became even slightly acceptable, but it has certainly done much to take away the responsiblity required of parents. What this woman did smacks of a horrible sense of boundaries and I can only guess what her history of trauma is. Shared sexuality between parent and child, as in this case, is really a form of indirect incest.

ok, not to make BROAD assupmtions, but...
perhaps she has a history is this profession?

Yeah, I'd be bothered if my mother and a performing stripper were in the same room at the same time. http://members.cox.net/wd40/sm_blush.gif

I feel sorry for the poor stripper. Was she left ignorant (or lied to) that it was a 16th birthday party instead of an 18th? She may have been completely in the dark about the kids' ages until she was already there and performing. Now she's stuck being a registered sex offender because of some dipshits who were too stupid to know that pix were a bad idea.

Note to any strippers reading this: It is a really bad idea to allow the clients to take nude pix of you while you're working. You have no control were those pix end up (internet, police, your daytime employers, "girls gone wild"-wannabe, etc.).

Anomaly, I respect your opinion but have to say that calling this a form of incest is a bit overboard. Having an honest relationship with your parents who support a comfortable attitude towards sexuality is healthy. Who knows what is the real story behind this, but at least, let's keep in mind that it was eleven 16 - 17 year old boys probably laughing at the situation, exactly because his mother was there. Oh well.

The thing that disturbs me at all about this is the fact that a drugstore employee decided his moral duty was to turn the whole lot in, and he somehow was granted the legal authority for a search and seizure of this family's property. Unless there was something obviously illegal going on (remember that this was in a private residence where people can still walk around naked if they want to) I would go at this thing with both barrels blazing. Just because you are developing my pictures it does not give you the right to become an agent of the government to look behind my closed door. I know there were other "minors" at the house that were corrupted as well, but ask yourself what if this peckerhead saw pictures of your wife or husband clowning around with you and he deemed that worthy of a call to the police? He or she decided that the drugstore had a right to look in your windows.

The whole thing reeks of invasion of privacy and moral bullying.

Regardless of the pictures, and whether or not they were digital, stories of this birthday were going to get around. The parents of the other kids attending were going to find out. One way or another the shit was going to hit the fan.

Mom made a bad call here.

Thanks for listening.

We have no idea what sort of relationship the mother and son had, can only guess it's a liberal one though.
I'm amazed this has been taken so far - I didn't even think it was illegal, in bad taste maybe but not illegal. whats the age of consent over there, is it not 16? if so you can have sex but are not allowed to see a naked woman? I agree more with the invasion of privacy point of view here and the indirect inscest call is an absurd over reaction. There's no mention that the mother was in the room at the time (maybe thats why the fater is also facing charges) but I feel they are being judged harshly and are victims of a prudish nanny state

Well we really don't know what went on at the party, those of us with vivid imaginations can conjure up all sorts of things . . . . .

But in reality we don't know . . . it could be anything from completely innocent to criminal. My guess though is that it almost certainly was well over on the innocent side of the spectrum. That's what I would prefer to believe until I hear otherwise.

And sixteen is old enough to see human nudity; in fact any age is old enough in my opinion. I don't even think twice about it; every summer our family spends a lot of time on clothes-optional beaches and we see people of all ages from newborns to 90s. Our daughter is 5, she's seen abundant nudity in her life, all sizes/shapes/ages, and she hardly even notices it. That's fine with me.

It's a WORSE idea to have your picture taken (or be taped) with a stripper at a bachelor party.

Note to self: Find old photos I took at the last one and blackmail everybody I can locate.

Granted, it does. But the clerk may not have had a choice in the matter.

Both in Arkansas and Oklahoma, seeing a picture of a partially-unclad woman with a "Happy 16th" banner in the background is sufficient grounds to REQUIRE the reporting of possible child abuse to the authorities; failure to do so is itself a felony.

Why would the clerk be looking at the pictures in the first place? Store-required quality control procedures require the viewing of EVERY picture to make sure the pictures are saleable; Walgreen's, CVS/Eckerd, and Wal-Mart all have these, and probably all the others too. I promise you that no photo tech gives a rat's ass what you put in the pix, but if you put something in it that he's required to report he's gonna report it.

Shouldn't've taken photos. The only real commentary I've got is that the level of 'wrongness' in what occured is based on details not given. I've known folks who would've developed horrifyingly creepy complexes regarding mother if a stripper was presented, folks who would've vigorously shaken moms hands and gotten onto to enjoying the show, and many in between.

I don't even have to make judgement on the mother's intent ... she should have know better. She incriminated herself with the pictures. She has it coming to her. Plus, her argument in her deffense doesn't even stand up (about her having the right to show her own son what she wants) because there were other children there besides her son.

Like other people have said, I wonder about the privacy of having photos developed. Even the "print your own" machines save a copy to their hard-drive in order to do the processing. These photo developers seem to have an open door to people's lives. A good example is the movie "One Hour Photo" with Robin Williams.

Having a stripper at a 16th birthday party? How about drugs and alcohol? I worry about all the underage drinkers out there who seem to think it's okay (along with their moral parents).

Had it been just her own 16 year old son, I think this would be a bit creepy, but harmless creepy. But she has no right to expose the other underage kids to that; that was as much an intrusion into the parental rights and duties of their parents as she's complaining about the police inpinging on hers. It's hypocritical of her to complain about others telling her what she can and can't show her own child when she made exactly that decision on behalf of ten other kids.

Anyone stupid enough to have pictures of a crime developed at a drug store deserves anything she gets.

I don't see what all this fuss is about. She just probably invited a co-worker home to meet her kid....c'mon, we've all done that.

Other than the stupidity of having pictures of something illegal developed by someone other than a trusted contact at a quick photo store, I really don't see anything wrong with it. If she hired hookers for the kids, it's a different story, but nudity is nothing that 16-year-olds haven't seen thousands of times before.

I think that the societal view makes the mom look silly, but a 16-y/o boy seeing boobs? Uhm, if he hasn't snuck a peek, downloaded porn or snagged his dads penthouse by now I'd say he's in the minority. Why are Americans so stuffy when it comes to sex?

Just a quick note as a Chicagoan...Jerry Springer's show is still on ;)

Now to actually read the thread...
As has been said, I think the biggest deal about this lies in the fact she made the decision as to what OTHER people's kids could see. If the other parents were aware of the stripper, I don't see anything criminally wrong here. Odd? Sure. Criminal? I don't think so.

I live in Nashville and saw this lady and her son interviewed on the news.

They asked the 16 yr old what he thought and of course he said "it was great!". The 14 yr old younger brother was also at the party and the Mom stated that all the parents of the kids involved knew a stripper was going to be there. They arrested the Mom, Dad, the stripper, and the stripper's manager. There was over 100 pictures taken, and many of them were quite explicit. (much more than just touching boobs)
The stripper and her "manager" knew there were kids at the party and still went thru with it.

The Mom insisted they did nothing wrong.

I don't think boobs at 16 is that big of a deal. However, if the stripper AND her manager both knew that there were kids at the party, then yeah, they do deserve to have the book thrown at them, regardless of if the parents had known/approved or not. That is just bad business, and the manager especially should have known better.

/heartless business major

Now taking bets on when the pictures will show up on the Internet.

As has been said a thousand times already, the issue here lies in the mother exposing OTHER PEOPLE'S CHILDREN to sex which is a job for the parents of those children. This issue has been dealt with (in our discussion) by Catdaddy33's post.

Also there was some carelessness when dealing with the law which got her in trouble with the fuzz, not that I mind subversion of (the details of) moral laws which don't make any sense outside of a religious context.

This might be a stupid thing to say (heheh) but I think that letting children find out about sex on their own is a very bad idea. My wife and I will teach our daughter about sex and sexuality more formally than allowing her to hear misinformation and outright lies from her friends and aquaintances before she eventually goes out one night and has sex.

I realize there is some irony in your statement but this was the first quote in the thread to make such a statement, others were more serious. Men do not have a monopoly on sexual education. I am speaking more broadly than the topic of this discussion which is the instance sited in the first post. Yes, men have been hiring hookers and strippers for their young sons as a "step into manhood" for centuries but all of these gender barriers are breaking down. Women now have as much right to teach their male children (onoes) about sex as they do to vote.

Morality should be defined by the individual and not by the system in which he resides.

They should have charged the stripper with a sex crime on a minor. She should be registered as a pedophile. If this were even a 24 or 25, let alone 29 year-old male, and a 16 year old girl, they- and all of you- would demonize him to his grave, demand his head, etc. This is an example of lack of equal and fair application of laws.

The photo developer who alerted the authorities was probably just a wee bit jealous.. I sure know I am. I wasn't sheltered by any means, but I sure wish I had gotten a stripper for my 16th.

...Then again, at 16 I was rather shy and couldn't have used the opportunity to the fullest. I would have gone red-faced and grinned like a moron. Go me!

this just in...

she's been sentanced

http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/art...ripper-ON.html

File suit against her for what exactly? Scaring the children for life? Please. Looking at a woman's tits isn't going to scar them as they already have it on their hard drive. If you don't believe that, then you're kidding yourself. With our backward ass society that tries to shun out everything and anything to do with sex, it makes the kids want it all the more.

I think that what should be asked here is not whether the boy was hurt or not, but what effect this incident has on the development of the boy's views towards women. I would venture to guess that he may have some issues with objectifing women in the future because of the stunt his mother pulled. Was he harmed? No, not in the least. Will this affect the way he approaches future relationships? My guess is yes, it will.

I'm not sure this particular event would have affected him as greatly had it not been internationally publisized. His sexuality certainly would have been reinforced and he may have looked at women in a slightly more socially objectionable way, but is now being punished for his own sexuality (from his own point of view).

A sixteen year old boy with a fledgling and developing sexuality is being punished by the government for looking at a woman.

This is what he will most likely think is happening and I won't even begin to go into how I believe he will be affected by this, emotionally and intellectually.

I think this whole argument goes back to many people's gut instinct about what strippers and the objectification of women do to a young man's (and a young woman's) psyche.

Instincts tell us alot and I think we have grown accustomed to ignoring those gut feelings.

This is completely misguided. If it was a male stripper who had been HIRED, and was ogled and touched by 16 year old girls, I can't think of anyone who would object to that. It's all about reciprocation, not pedophilia by a sexual predator.

Seriously. It's just a stripper.

Being a stripper does not make one above the law.

the law is a pretty low standard

/SOUNDBITE

Well I think the mom should invest in a digital camera with the printer dock. Could have saved her alot of money and time. Way to go Mom!

i'm with those who think the whole thing is a bit odd. i really don't have a problem with a stripper for 16 year old boys, and since the other parents knew about it, it's not that i think she should be punished...but well, it's just creepy. and yeah, dad doing it would be creepy too. parents teaching their kids about sex, all for it. parents hiring strippers for their kids (at any age), just freaks me out a bit!

i'm an adult, but if my mom wanted to hit the strip club with me...i just couldn't do it. i would tell her i went, i'd laugh if she told me she went, but i just don't think i could bring myself to actually go with her.