Advice on how to pass a drug screening?

[scavengertype]

I'm not a heavy pot smoker, a couple times a week at most. Unfortunately the timing is bad because there has been more "availability" lately. I hate my current job so I don't want anything to fuck this up.
I have used Vale's in the past, but I would rather not use a detox tea or whatever because I have heard they test for them now. Will I be OK if I just drink tons of water, eat asparagus, pickes, etc? I just found out about the test today, and I smoked a little last night. I can probably put off the test for a week and a half or so but no longer. Any Advice???

[Bill O'Rights]

Hmmmm...let me think...how to pass a drug screen...
I know...don't do drugs.
Glad I could help.

[BigBen]

There is this time machine, see.... You hop in and prevent yourself from smoking in the first place.

They have drug tests now that test your hair. It can detect drug use dating back MONTHS.

What test do you have to take? Standard urine? Blood? Hair?

Note to self: Thank god I don't smoke pot, and therefore am not in this situation.

There are lots of people here that can help, but you may need to tell us a little more for the advice to be effective.

Government job? State or Federal? Where abouts?
Just pot? Do you promise?
What kind of test?
Is your boss a dick? Could you score a clean sample?

Help us help you.

[Suave]

If it's urine, I believe you're safe after about a week with cannabis. Any other test and you're pretty much screwed, unless you get a clean sample (which is probably only possible for urine, because they wouldn't give you privacy for the other two).

[Cynthetiq]

sorry....

I choose to not work for an employer that does drug screenings for interviews. If you hate your current job so much, then stop smoking pot until you can secure a new job.

have a little self control and discipline, a little delayed gratification as well.

[Glory's Sun]

weed can stay in your system (and be detected in urine) for up to 30 days. You're best bet if you don't want to use a cleaning agent is to get a sample from a friend who is clean.

[edmos1]

Originally Posted by Bill O'Rights

Hmmmm...let me think...how to pass a drug screen...
I know...don't do drugs.
Glad I could help.

this is the correct answer, however, I passed one (when I was younger) by drinking a lot of water I put lemon in it too to help detox. mine was 5 days after smoking, and just a urine test. I did drink about a gallon of water a day.

If it is a hair test, (which I do not think they do for most jobs) you are probably screwed.

[Lunatic]

The only thing ive ever heard about helping somebody gettign rid of weed evidence in their system faster is to just drink lots amount of water.

[Sp0rAdiC]

I've heard that the hair tests are the most... useful? They detect the farthest back, so my question is why wouldn't more employers use them?

[kutulu]

Hair tests are more costly. Supposedly there is a shampoo that you can use that will stip your hair of evidence for a while. However, you don't know what part of your body they will take the sample from.

I took some sort of drink but I don't remember what it was (it was four years ago). I stopped for about 5 days and I was a heavy smoker (2-3 times/day) at the time.

[mikec]

hair tests are also the most expensive.

sucks that marijuana can qualify you to not be employed - a topic that has been discussed many times on this forum.

if you're taking a piss test, it depends on your metabolism and frequency of smoking. I did a ton of research on this myself, since I had to test for a job. I wound up not feeling great about any of the tea's, drinks, urban legend methods - i.e. drinking vinegar etc....

what worked was buying the whizzinator, and having a friend's clean urine. worked like a charm. it's fucking gay that you can enjoy some herbs on your own time and that can disqualify you for a job, but if you're a fuckin' drunk, you're ok to employ.

GOOD LUCK!!

[snowy]

Originally Posted by Sp0rAdiC

I've heard that the hair tests are the most... useful? They detect the farthest back, so my question is why wouldn't more employers use them?

Most employers don't really care about what you did six months ago--they want to know if you're clean now. I've had employers who flat out told me I only had to pass the drug test once...after that I could do what I wanted on my own time provided it didn't interfere with my work or cause an accident (if it did I would face another drug test). Sometimes it's to prove to their insurance provider that everyone is clean and so if someone gets injured it's not drug-related. Therefore they really only care about the present.

I refuse to work for an employer that drug tests for no reason--I can fully understand if I'm working in an industrial environment where safety is a clear issue, but there are plenty of jobs out there where their knowledge of my habits is a clear invasion of privacy as whether or not I choose to smoke a bowl has nothing to do with my job performance.

So I'd say 1) either keep looking for another job without a piss test, or 2) drink lots of water, suck it up, and hope to God you pass.

[RangerDick]

Just in case it's a hair test, to be on the safe side, I suggest shaving your entire body. Don't forget your eyebrows.

[mikec]

yeah, tell 'em you were inspired by The Wall...

[lindseylatch]

If you hate your job, then why are you so concerned? Cause it would look bad on a future resume?

[vogelap]

Originally Posted by mikec

sucks that marijuana can qualify you to not be employed - a topic that has been discussed many times on this forum.

it's fucking gay that you can enjoy some herbs on your own time and that can disqualify you for a job, but if you're a fuckin' drunk, you're ok to employ.

BIG difference between pot and alcohol... Alcohol is legal; pot is not.

Like it or not, it's true.

[mikec]

gee, thanks for telling me that......I totally didn't realize...................

ask yourself why though? just because some old conservative fuckers made it illegal, should it be?? how many people kill others and/or themselves while driving drunk? how many to the same driving stoned? spousal abuse, child abuse, etc. all fueled by alcohol.

btw, speeding is illegal too.

[vogelap]

Ya makes yer choice, ya pays the price.

If you choose pot as your intoxicant-of-choice, you have to pay the price to do so... That price is that you may not be able to pass a drug test (or have to pay $150 for a plastic penis).

If you choose alcohol, which is legal, you may be able to pass a drug test.

Silly? Perhaps. Ripe for changing? Maybe. The way that it is? Yup.

Choice is an wonderful thing, but it's got two edges on it.

[mikec]

hey, the prosthetic penis has multiple uses so it's alllllllllll good

[Bagezio2]

Originally Posted by Bill O'Rights

Hmmmm...let me think...how to pass a drug screen...
I know...don't do drugs.
Glad I could help.

you read my mind...

and if it is a hair test, just shave off every fiber of hair on your body. back, chest, head, face, lower body...the works.. you might look strange for a few weeks, but if u get fired it wont be because you failed the test!! (maybe)

[Zeraph]

I wonder what they would say if you did that, shaved all the hair off your body... Would be pretty funny, and probably turn out to be a urine test. Can they fire you on the grounds of being a goof?

[skinnymofo]

a couple good things for cleaning yourself out quick-
Drink liquor, pot is alcohol soluble
lots of water and excersize or water and go to a steam room for a while
and whats worked for me in the past and a few of my friends is to drink
Certo (TM) a packet with a 2liter of pop, and yes im talking about the stuff thats used to make jelly.
also before you go if you are still worried, drink lots of water to dilute it and then take a multi vitamin or 2 to add color

[Psycho Dad]

Originally Posted by Bill O'Rights

Hmmmm...let me think...how to pass a drug screen...
I know...don't do drugs.

That's always worked for me.

And I'm glad that there are people who refuse to apply at places that do pre-employment screening and random testing. It saves companies like mine time and money hiring someone who makes drugs a priority over working safely and productively.

Of course I've seen first hand someone who had their skull crushed by a stack of falling pipe because they felt they had the right to smoke pot because it never hurt anyone. So I guess that makes me biased.

[biznatch]

what happens if you don't pass... can they call the cops ? Can they give your name?

[splck]

Originally Posted by Psycho Dad

That's always worked for me.

And I'm glad that there are people who refuse to apply at places that do pre-employment screening and random testing. It saves companies like mine time and money hiring someone who makes drugs a priority over working safely and productively.

So smoking a joint on Friday night makes a worker a safety concern on Monday?

Toss the guy if he's intoxicated on the job, but not for what he did on his own free time.

[SLITWILLIE]

Originally Posted by splck

So smoking a joint on Friday night makes a worker a safety concern on Monday?

Toss the guy if he's intoxicated on the job, but not for what he did on his own free time.

to that. I beleive what you do on your own time is no ones buisness but yours. As long as you dont let it interfere with your job or a safety issue. Maybe one day the government will realize that they are not going to stop everyone from smoking a little bit of Pot so why not tax the hell out of it and make some money their selves

But how to pass a drug test??? Go get some Sure Gel and mix it with some water or if you can stomach it drink alot of vinegar and water that always works

[Biscuit Buns]

Originally Posted by Psycho Dad

That's always worked for me.

And I'm glad that there are people who refuse to apply at places that do pre-employment screening and random testing. It saves companies like mine time and money hiring someone who makes drugs a priority over working safely and productively.

Of course I've seen first hand someone who had their skull crushed by a stack of falling pipe because they felt they had the right to smoke pot because it never hurt anyone. So I guess that makes me biased.

I feel the same way. I've had far too many friends in the past who would go to work ripped out of their gourd. People in child care, government jobs, construction - it's nothing short of irresponsible. I've seen some pretty damaging repurcussions from it and it all could have been avoided easily.

I honestly do not care if a person smokes a joint on a friday night, or hell, whatever off time they have. I used to smoke like it was going out of style, but I never went to work high. If you come to work for me and you're stoned, you're putting my entire business in jeopardy, not to mention everyone's individual safety, and I've worked far too long and far too hard to have it demolished by someone who can't control their drug use.

And I'm curious...it's been asked - what DOES happen to a person if they come back positive for drugs? Police?

[f6twister]

Originally Posted by biznatch

what happens if you don't pass... can they call the cops ? Can they give your name?

In most places, the employer cannot provide this information to the cops, it would be a violation of the federal Hippa Law. (Unless they have the person sign a waiver stating that if anything is found, they will alert the cops).

If they called the cops to arrest the person, the cops would just blow it off unless the person was either driving after having just smoked a joint or was in possession of the joint at the time.

[Boo]

If you choose to partake in illegal drugs remember to find a career that does not discriminate against them. I am sure that some job or some employer somewhere does not care. I have found that any job worth having requires a drug screening.

[Psycho Dad]

Originally Posted by splck

So smoking a joint on Friday night makes a worker a safety concern on Monday?

Maybe not, but perhaps. Nevertheless, we have never let one person go who failed a random test that we all said "god damn, we hated to lose that one". Every single employee that I have lost (there have been 4) due to failing a drug screening has been someone who typically not an A class worker. And three of those four have been after testing at the emerency room after an accident. Should we have waited on the fourth to hurt himself or perhaps someone else?

Originally Posted by splck

Toss the guy if he's intoxicated on the job, but not for what he did on his own free time.

Which I've done to someone who was drunk on the job, BAC is easy to test. What would the legal limit be for THC or cocain be?

Of course there was no need to terminate the dead guy. All someone had to do is call the guy's mother and sister and tell them that he was involved in a terrible accident.

[JStrider]

a friend of mine was getting a job and they asked if he could pass a drug test that day, he said probably not, but he could pass one in a couple weeks and they were cool with that...

the guy he was talking with said it was more important that he was in control of his usage and not addicted then just the fact that he used it...

[splck]

Originally Posted by Psycho Dad

Which I've done to someone who was drunk on the job, BAC is easy to test. What would the legal limit be for THC or cocain be?

See that's the problem with THC (or the beauty of THC to the anti-pot people). It stays in your system LONG after the intoxicating effect. Testing for THC a week or so after consumption does not mean the person is showing up to work impaired. Cocaine, heroin, MDA, LSD, alcohol are washed from the body very fast so they are rarely tested for and seldom found in drug tests. Pot is easy to check for, used by many, so it's the one that's most targeted. I have no problem firing lazy-ass workers that show up for work impaired, but I do have a problem firing someone that smokes a joint on their own time and still may have some trace amounts of THC in their blood.

[Psycho Dad]

Originally Posted by splck

I have no problem firing lazy-ass workers that show up for work impaired,

We have other options for dealing with lazy-ass workers. This is just a tool that has proven useful for ridding ourselves of the ones who tested positive when screened after an accident.

Originally Posted by splck

but I do have a problem firing someone that smokes a joint on their own time and still may have some trace amounts of THC in their blood.

Then you are free to employ them all you want. Where I work not only has a management decision been made to do it this way, but it is supported by everyone who appreciates ridding the workplace of someone who may come in under the influence or decide to smoke some during break.

[meembo]

don't smoke pot

don't work for any employer who screens (except for public safety jobs -- bus driver, etc.)

[skinnymofo]

Originally Posted by splck

See that's the problem with THC (or the beauty of THC to the anti-pot people). It stays in your system LONG after the intoxicating effect. Testing for THC a week or so after consumption does not mean the person is showing up to work impaired. Cocaine, heroin, MDA, LSD, alcohol are washed from the body very fast so they are rarely tested for and seldom found in drug tests. Pot is easy to check for, used by many, so it's the one that's most targeted. I have no problem firing lazy-ass workers that show up for work impaired, but I do have a problem firing someone that smokes a joint on their own time and still may have some trace amounts of THC in their blood.

this is the standard drug test, they most definately check for some of those you listed,

The NIDA 5
Federal government guidelines (by NIDA-The National Institute on Drug Abuse and SAMHSA-the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) require that companies which use commercial class drivers licenses for employees must have a testing system in place. Among other things, this required testing program must test for 5 specific categories of drugs (sometimes referred to as the "NIDA 5"). Because of this federal requirement, most drug testing companies offer a basic drug test that checks for drugs in these 5 common categories. Click on the substance name for a description of the laboratory method for detecting the substance.


Cannabinoids (marijuana, hash)
Cocaine (cocaine, crack, benzoylecognine)
Amphetamines (amphetamines, methamphetamines, speed)
Opiates (heroin, opium, codeine, morphine)
Phencyclidine (PCP)

just about all you want to know about drug testing

[pan6467]

You do know that it is a law (at least in Ohio) if a company has drug testing it MUST have drug programs where workers can get help.

Basically, what that means is if you go to your employer BEFORE a drug test and tell them you have a problem they have to refer you to a treatment (in some cases you have to pay for it... depends on your employer) and cannot fire you for this purpose or for a positive piss test held in the immediate time period (3-6 months).

Of course in Ohio, where employers can fire you because they don't like the color of your eyes.... (in other words they don't need a true reason) if they truly want you gone they'll find another reason (for unemployment purposes) to fire you.

[Elphaba]

Originally Posted by Psycho Dad

That's always worked for me.

And I'm glad that there are people who refuse to apply at places that do pre-employment screening and random testing. It saves companies like mine time and money hiring someone who makes drugs a priority over working safely and productively.

Of course I've seen first hand someone who had their skull crushed by a stack of falling pipe because they felt they had the right to smoke pot because it never hurt anyone. So I guess that makes me biased.

Thank you PD. I had an excellent employee murdered by a one day ex-employee doing drugs.

And thank you also to the pro-drug group here. I will incorporate your ideas about cheating in my next employee drug test.

[RMMsGirl]

I'm not for sure, but I've heard that drinking vinegar helps, but you shouldn't drink too much. Also Jello works. Don't ask me how, because I don't know, but I do know it works. Hope I helped a little.

[Painted]

This is pretty fucking rediculous. All this shit people have to do for smoking pot.. jesus christ. When I got employed for (most of) my jobs I openly told my employer I liked to come home at the end of the day hit the bong and listen to pink floyd. Granted, I had to apply at a few companies before I found the right one...hehe

Of course I've seen first hand someone who had their skull crushed by a stack of falling pipe because they felt they had the right to smoke pot because it never hurt anyone. So I guess that makes me biased.

Let me ask you a question, PD. Did a stack of falling pipe or a plant kill that person?

[skinnymofo]

Did a stack of falling pipe or a plant kill that person?

my guess would be the pipes fell because of the person under the influence of the plant who was being careless.
regardless of the legality of drugs, people should not be under the influence of anything while at work. Unless of course its your job as a tester

Thank you PD. I had an excellent employee murdered by a one day ex-employee doing drugs

i am curious to know the rest of the details of this story if you would care to share.
and also what company you work for as you live close to me.