indigochild111

I already posted this somewhere else..but I feel the message is important enough to post again.

I just wanted to let everyone know that today, April 13, 2005 is the National Day of Silence. It is a day to show support for gay, lesbian, transgender, bisexual, and allies. This is something that I believe in very strongly, so that is why I am participating.

"Please understand my reasons for not speaking today. I am participating in the Day of Silence, a national youth movement protesting the silence faced by lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people and their allies. My deliberate silence echoes that silence, which is caused by harassment, prejudice, and discrimination. I believe that ending the silence is the first step towards fighting these injustices. Think about the voices you are not hearing today."


Spread the word. Maybe someday soon we won't need a day of silence because everyone can be free to be who they are.

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snowy

I would have participated but unfortunately today on my campus is also the Take Back The Night event, and I have to interview others for yearbook/participate in the rally.

It was a matter of choosing between two worthy causes--and this year Take Back The Night won.

I certainly hope that some day I won't have to choose between either cause because there will be no reason to--but it will be a long time before we eliminate sexual assault and prejudice from our world.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

BigBen

Shit.

I already talked today... can I do this tomorrow?

I didn't know, or I would have participated. I think that it is an important cause.

Closets are for clothes.

Much love, my equal brothers and sisters.

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rhaevyn

I organized the event on my campus this year... It was really nice because I wasn't allowed last year when I was in high school. I think it could have gone better today, here, but it wasn't horrible, from what I've seen.

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Himbo

"t was a matter of choosing between two worthy causes--and this year Take Back The Night won."

Can you go into more depth? What exactly is involved in Take Back the Night? Is this on campus, who organizes it, does it happen every year?

snowy

Take Back the Night is a march/demonstration/speakout against sexual violence of all kinds--against women and men alike. The idea is that people should be able to walk on the streets at night without fear, and survivors should have an opportunity to band together and share their stories. It's an event that happens on college campuses and communities around the world--it actually started in Europe in the 1970s and has since spread throughout the United States. It's not held on any specific day--so not everywhere has Take Back the Night today, and the day here is generally chosen by the Women's Affairs Task Force at my university. Search for Take Back the Night and the name of your community on Google--something will pop up. There are lots of sites surrounding Take Back the Night.

Take Back the Night is a deeply personal experience for me as a survivor of sexual assault, and so that is why I chose it.

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Himbo

Okay, I did some quick google checking around. What I find are articles about 'protecting our streets for women' I have yet to find any reference to the men. From the tone of the articles I've found it looks like men are being blamed for all the violence. There is mention of rape statistics and mention of violence against women and gays. However there is no mention of violence against men or stats related to violence against men and boys. I was hoping this would be a day to speak out against ALL violence. But from what I have found, everything focuses on violence against women while at the same time doing nothing but blaming men. I find that a quite discouraging. Everything is focused on women and violence and nobody talks about the men.

I sure hope that equal time is given to both sides of the coin. I find a lot of the time in the media in violence against men is not talked about nearly enough. I was hoping this event would showcase both genders and the struggles they face. I would sure like to hear you come back here after you attend the event and tell us if organizers not only spoke out against violence against women, but also against men.

I am sorry to hear about your terrible experience as well. I can understand why you chose this issue over the day of silence.

Carno

No offense, but what does the National Day of Silence actually accomplish? I see things like that and I don't see anything productive happening. I mean, it's a good thought I guess, but I can't see how it helps. What if people ask why you are being silent? Do you write up a note? Wouldn't it be better to explain it to people rather than not say anything?

I dunno, National Day of Silence just seems backwards to me. Wouldn't a National Speak Out Day be a better idea, where you talk to people about the problem?

-=shikamaru=-

Well, the National Day of Silence serves two purposes: it is a symbolic event where the silence ppl take upon themselves represents the silence imposed upon LGBT by society, and just by having ppl participate shows that there will be an intolerance for this kind of silence to continue. The National Day of Silence speaks out without using any words.
Secondly, the act of remaining silent lets one who is not LGB or T discover what it means to have to be silent about certain aspects of who you are in a world which will not let you speak out. Its a way of helping one discover the atrocity of making one silent.

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tspikes51

Heaven forbid people would take the time to do something more effective for this worthy cause, like maybe everybody write a letter to your congressmen/women, CEO's, or what have you . Believe me, the silence thing is going to turn more people off to the cause and be much less effective than my suggestion, because A) not talking for a whole day is a much more radical idea than mailing a letter, and B) if a thousand people said something to ONE person who actually cared and could do something about it, it would be much more effective than a million people saying nothing to everybody. Let's make this into a math problem:

y=px

A and B are Effectiveness (with respect to the equation name), p is participants, and x is non-participants.

EQUATION A:
A=0x
lim x->infinity
(or for the more mathematically challenged, y=0(infinity))

EQUATION B:
B=p1
lim p->infinity
(again, for the math challenged, y=(infinity)1)

Solution: A<B

Enter "The Shawshank Redemption." Andy Dufresne wants a bigger budget for the prison library. Spoiler: Does he get it by not saying anything??? No. He gets it by sending letter after letter to his Congressmen. Consider.

And always remember:

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Bacchanal

Seriously, no offense, it is a nice idea, but I thought that was hilarious.

indigochild111

Okay, first of all, this is just one day out of the week. It is awareness week. There are flyers everywhere. The night before Day of Silence people got together and listened to some people telling their stories. And it isn't like we just walked around not talking. We had t-shirts explaining the day. There were notes written with what I said in the beginning on it. And I don't see how showing support to the gay community is hilarious. Do you know what it's like to not be able to share a very important part of yourself with people?

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Carno

I don't think he thought National Day of Silence was funny, but rather the irony of you saying "spread the word" when it is a day of silence.

Glory's Sun

I never really understood this movement. I think this group of people is the least victimized "" out of most major "groups". I mean there are plenty of Gay Day's and parade's where people come out and enjoy their freedom of being gay and all that. Gay people have quite a bit of voice now.

snowy

I call bullshit. You know why? Nearly all of the hate crimes against GLBT folks go unreported or uncovered by mass media. Sure, the Matthew Shepard incident got coverage, but there are plenty of other hate crimes committed against gays, lesbians and ESPECIALLY transgendered people that are completely ignored. They don't have as much of a voice as you think--they are probably the most discriminated and victimized group in the United States today. Another point--we have LAWS saying it's OKAY to discriminate against gays. My state passed a law this last fall defining marriage as a union between a man and a woman--if that's not discrimination against gays, what is?

Secondly, in some areas of the country, gay pride parades face major protests and oppositions--it's not just a day for people to get out and celebrate. It's something they have to fight for too.

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la petite moi

I personally think we should all SPEAK UP about this, instead of being silent to "represent" how GLBT have to go through. I am anti-discrimination to the max, but staying silent does nothing. I think GLBT should try to lead normal lives, and then when they are affected by discrimination, they should SPEAK UP. By leading a normal life, GLBT are doing exactly what hating discriminating jerks don't want--they are not acting weird or different. They are NORMAL.

SaltPork

So, did you really not say ANYTHING all day?

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It was like that when I got here....I swear.

maleficent

How does a national day of silence help then?

I'm not being a smart ass here.. I'm just curious...

Is the media aware of this event? How can they interview people if the people aren't talking?

What does a bunch of students not talking actually accomplish?

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Glory's Sun

I'm in agreement with mal here. I just don't see how this helps. I think of any group, it's the fat people that get discriminated against the most. Anyway, that's a different story.

onesnowyowl, I completely see your point and understand what you're saying. However, I feel they do have more of a voice than is lead on. It wasn't too long ago that it was still very taboo for someone to be gay. Now, people don't look twice when they see 2 men holding hands public. Many crimes of all sorts go unmentioned every single day. It's not just in one particular group. There are racial crimes, hate crimes, and various others that will never be heard or solved because people don't have a voice, or actually maybe it's that they keep <i>silent</i> instead of using their voice. The marriage issue is a sticky one, and that is a flaw in our government. Other than that singular issue, what other issues does this group face? Keep in mind that I support them whole-heartedly. I just fail to see how this could possibly be a successful campaign. "Gee I don't have a voice in America so I guess I'll just show them by not talking for a full day". Doesn't add up in my book sorry.

tspikes51

Look, I don't think that "showing support to the gay community is hilarious." I never said that. Actually, if you read my journal entry about this, you'll see that I support this cause, and I will even write a letter to my Congressmen to support this cause.

__________________
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-Maddox

Gilda

I wish I could participate fully in this, but my job doesn't allow for that. I will, however, refrain from speaking in any circumstance not required by my job.

ShaniFaye

Im quite confused....how does being silent help? Arent you just perpetuating the very thing thats being done? Its like...oops we cant talk about this so we're going to shut our mouths and not say a word.

It seems very very backwards to me and I dont see how it promotes anything, other than people are telling you to be quiet about your lifestyle and so thats what you're going to do.

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Bacchanal

If indigochild111 was referring to my post, that is exactly what I meant. I thought I was pretty clear with the "No offense, it is a nice idea..." line, but perhaps not.

Caranthir

http://www.cnn.com/2005/EDUCATION/04....ap/index.html

The Conservatives responded with a "Day of Truth." The National Day of Silence did make an impact.

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I.

Gilda

It probably won't change anything. It's symbolic. We have to hide who we are, or let others pretend that we aren't who we are so often that it goes unspoken and almost unnoticed. The day of silence is meant to bring attention to that silence.

Let me give you an example from last week. I'm period subbing for another teacher who has a doctor's appointment, Mrs. C. An 8th grade girl approaches us as Mrs. B is about to leave, and asks her, "Mrs. C., would you and your husband like to chaperone the Sadie Hawkins dance this coming Friday?" She was assertive but polite, explained that they were having problems finding chaperones, and asked Mrs. C. to please think about it. Then she asked me, "Miss Nakamura, would you like to chaperone . . ." and I got the same speech. I'm out at work, I've taken Grace to many sporting events, plays, and awards banquets. We don't make out in the cafetorium, but we don't hide that we're a couple. Everyone at the school knows I had my name changed to be the same as my partner's--they knew me as Miss Mitchell before the change and know me as Miss Nakamura now. Yet, I get invited to chaperone alone, while a hetero teacher gets her mate invited along. It's a little thing, and no offense was meant, but it shows that it's still not kosher to recognize that there are homosexual couples out there.

It's worse for transsexuals. For every drag queen glamming it up on stage, there are a dozen whose only goal is immersion; to be seen as, to be the sex the feel they are inside. This is easy for the FTM; male hormones give a woman a beard, body hair and a deeper voice and the ability to build larger muscles, and masculinize the face quite a bit.

It's really hard for the MTF. Hormones don't really change much, not the voice, beard, and have only a mild affect on body hair and facial appearance.
Most don't want to be seen and heard, they want to be normal, unnoticed men and women. And this leaves them with no voice, because to speak up is to lose everthing they've worked so hard to get. They can't defend themselves without revealing to a hostile society who they are. This day of silence symbolizes their plight.

It isn't expected that it'll change anything, except make a few more people aware. Protests are always more about the people protesting being able to express themselves than solving problems. This is no different.

Gilda

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Sweetpea

Guccilvr,

I respect where you are coming from and i appreciate you expressing your opinion . . .
You're saying 'i completely see what onesnowyowl is saying and you see her points about the silence' . . . and Yet, you don't actually seem to have a grasp on this momevement for equality or the G.L.B.T. community . . .

You asked, What other issues does this group face?? Where do you want me to start??? There's a damn long list that most people don't even know about . . .

So here's mine, off the top of my head, from today:

double standards at work . . . the fact that i am forced to hide my sexuality at work . . . yes, of course, that IS an issue for me.

The fact that for many companies, getting health benefits for their partners is near impossible even with a civil union.

The fact that at in almost all situations i cannot mention my sexuality or my girlfriend. . . when others can speak freely about their spouses . . .

I'm not looking to wave a flag and go around everywhere saying 'i'm bisexual' and put that fact in people's faces . . . i would just like to be free to mention that part of my life every now and then like everyone else does, that's it

thanks,

Sweetpea

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Bacchanal

sweetpea, what is it that stops you from mentioning her in the same context as straight people referring to their spouse/girlfiend/boyfriend? Certainly, it isn't fear of losing your job...?

I honestly don't get why anyone needs to be silent about their sexuality, whatever it is. Sure, there are people who will discriminate, but why associate with them anyway?

Don't take this as me being rude, I certainly don't mean it to sound that way. Just wondering.

tspikes51

Wow, the church ladies made a speech/potluck in response. What a suprise. That's one hell of a response, and it got just as much done as the day of silence: nothing.

I can't stress the importance of being involved with your legislature. Our representatives cannot accurately represent people who do not interact with them. One of the easiest and most effective ways of communicating with the legislature is to send letters (at least in the States). I'm not trying to be mean or intolerant, it just bothers me to no end that people are angry at our government, but they won't do anything worthwhile (like voting, writing letters, or meeting with representatives) to change it. Demonstrations and the like usually make things worse, not better.

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-Maddox

indigochild111

Okay, that article in CNN just disgusts me. But, hey freedom of speech I guess. But it does go to show how large of a scale this thing is, millions of students all over the U.S. Going through the entire day wearing a shirt that stated what we were doing is "spreading the word" it just happened to be written. And at exactly 6:30 we all stood up on chairs in the dining hall and yelled "BREAK THE SILENCE" and then one girl read what I had posted in the very beginning. I get what some people are saying, but it is just another form of letting your opinion be known. It doesn't mean that other days I stay silent about how I feel. It doesn't mean this is all we do to support the GLBT community. And it also doesn't mean that this is the only community we support. I go to a very liberal school. And I love it.

Bacchanal, you've never been taunted as a child, have you? People can be downright cruel to other people if they fear what is different. If you feel completely alone, people make horrible comments everyday, and go out of their way to make your day miserable it catches up to you. It isn't all that easy to just "not associate" with people like that. Especially if you are in school. And let me say kids are just nasty to eachother. Think about it. Millions of kids commit suicide every year because they feel alone. Are you going to say they just shouldn't have associated with people who didn't accept them? I can't say I know what people who are GLBT go through, but I do know what it's like to live silent about a huge part of yourself. And I do know what it's like to walk down a hallway at school and not see a friendly face. Now I am a strong person, now I could handle the cruel kids, but only now. No one should have to live in fear of who they are. And the Day of Silence was just one of many parts of a movement to try to make this world a more accepting place.

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Gilda

I can't answer for sweetpea, but I can answer this question for myself. I'm chaperoning the Sadie Hawkins dance next week. If any other teacher at my school were to do this, nobody would think anything of it if they were to bring along their spouse and dance a slow dance together. If I were to bring Grace and dance with her, it would likely cause a scandal, parents would be screaming about it at the next school board meeting, and I very well could lose my job for doing exactly what a hetero couple would do.

In every state in the United States, transgender people have to stay underground if they're in most jobs other than performing in drag clubs, because it's perfectly legal to fire them for no other reason than being transgender. And there are people who go to extreme lengths to track them down and expose them. Some states, Texas, Kansas, and Florida in particular, have laws that actively discriminate against transsexuals the way DOM states actively discriminate against gays.

Strange Famous

personally, I'd have a pretty hard time getting through a day of work not speaking.

And while I agree that gay people do still face prejudice in many societies and in many area's, which is unfair and should be addressed - I think there are groups and causes throughout the world possibly more deserving of attention. People in Sudan are being slaughtered because of their ethnicity, which is a bit different to not being allowed to fully marry and potentially being bullied at school.

Just because there are worse things it doesnt mean you cant protest against the prejudice that exists, but a silent protest is quite a shocking and powerful statement (if it takes place on a wide scale - obs its not if a few 1000 college students spend the day at home not talking - no one would even notice that) - and I think there are more important causes in the world today.

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

Baron Opal

I had laryngitis, does that count?

Actually, it was a bit of a pain in the neck as my job consists of 50/50 processing orders and giving advice. I could only do half my job.

Glory's Sun

my statement "what othere issues does this group face, wasn't ignorant or saying that there weren't any. I was merely tryinig to get the issue out there. My main point was that there is more voice now than there was just a few years ago. I understand the whole issue. However, even though it was recognized by a group of liberals, I feel that a jointed effort by using the voice that you want would have been more effective that's all. I understand the symbolism and all that. That's not the issue. On a side note, perhaps you should ask about my sexuality before you make general assumptions

kel

Take back the night? You mean that thing they had on my campus where men and women who voted to eliminate the right of men and women to defend themselves from violent sexual predators got together and whined and moaned about how victims are such a tragedy?

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snowy

I can't speak for sweetpea and her situation, but I can say my aunt, who is a lesbian, has faced discrimination at work for her sexuality in the past. She has worked in corrections and at a 911 call center--the job at the call center did not last because when her coworkers figured out she was a lesbian she was completely ostracized and her boss made it a living hell for her to go to work. As for her work in corrections, she has come up against some who disagree with her lifestyle--including one boss in the Washington state system who refused to promote my aunt despite the fact she had 1) passed the exam for the next level of officer, and 2) had the experience and recommendations to justify her promotion. My aunt had to finally leave the Washington system entirely and seek out work in another state--where thankfully things have been much better. Now, my aunt does not advertise at work that she is gay yet she has faced a lot of discrimination for it.

Some of you may claim that our country is now comfortable with two women or two men holding hands as they walk down the street. I would argue that that is completely relative to location--there are plenty of towns here in the PacNW where you wouldn't catch my aunt and her wife holding hands--and they're both super-tough chicks. Sure, maybe in Portland or Corvallis or Eugene--but Albany? Salem even? Not bloody likely. I know two guys here at Oregon State who used to date and regularly held hands as they walked through the dining halls--and they were spit on for it. But they kept doing it as a message to others that intolerance would not be tolerated. But I think that's an attitude that the younger generation are taking and not necessarily people who have been out for a while--they've had to deal with discrimination too much for too long to invite it upon themselves willingly.

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StanT

A national day of silence would seem to be counterproductive. Just like gay rights parades and the like, it is an "In your face" kind of tactic.

While I'm a married heterosexual, I really couldn't care less about anyone else's sexual preference. It's all the same to me if you prefer guys, girls, consenting barnyard animals, or any combination. Talking about your sex life on a forum is dramatically different than doing it at work. I really don't want to hear about my coworkers love life at work. I just want to do my job. Your wife is sleeping around? Boinking 3 different guys while living with you bisexual girlfriend? I really don't care and I really don't want to hear about it. Rubbing my nose in your sexuality with a national day of silence just irritates people that aren't part of the problem. The people that discriminate against your preference will just have one more thing to ridicule.

Strange Famous

Because of the mourning symbolism... ot at least that's how I took it. To me it is a powerful statement (if fulfilled and carried out on a wide scale) - to the degree to me I think it is somewhat inappropriate for the cause.

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"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

Strange Famous

off topic - widespead gun ownership should not be portrayed as the only means of self defense against sexual attack. In the UK where no one is armed, do you suspect we have a far higher incidence of cases of molestation?

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

pig

I don't understand the animosity directed towards this idea. I'm not saying I think it's necessarily the most effective way to get a message across, but it is a way. It's one day of people who take this particular issue seriously to make a statement about their beliefs. I don't know if I would have participated, but I'd certainly be fine with others doing it. As far as the whole discussion of worse issues in the world, I can understand that point. However, I don't think it invalidates this demonstration, nor this movement in general. Just because your car is broken, it does not mean you don't fix your bike. Espcially if you like to bike, etc.

For those of you that have to deal with this horseshit on a daily basis, nothing one can really say but "that sucks," etc...

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Sweetpea

ummmm . . . i might lose my job. i work as a private phyiscal therapy assistant. My client's family has already made comments about homosexuality, not related to me and they are very against any sort of same gender relationships. So yes, if my client's family were to know . . . they might very well fire me on the spot due to their religious convictions

i wish i didn't have to associate with people who didn't discriminate and who accepted my life and me . . . but i don't always have the luxury.

I didn't take it as being rude, i don't mind you asking This forum is about seeing other's opinions and i respect that

sweetpea

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