An open letter regarding the local bank... - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

fhqwhgads · 05-16-2005, 07:44 PM

I was sitting on the couch the other day, as I am prone to do, and a commercial for a local bank comes on the television. The bank says that they now have machines that will change your coin into cash, and it's free... even to non customers. (I know... coin is already "cash"...but try to keep up with me here.) Like I'm guessing most of us do, I have a large jar full of change. I hate carrying coins in my pocket, so at the end of the day, I dump my coin into a large jar sitting on my dresser. After many months of washing windows at intersections, playing the tuba in front of the local coffee house, and turning the crank on the organ grinder while Gustav the monkey puts on a fez and dances a little jig, I have a lot of change built up.

I've used these coin machines before in the grocery store, and I usually walk out with a good chunk of cash. However, the machines at the stores charge you around 8 cents per dollar that you cash in. But according to the actor dressed like Ben Franklin, the machine at the bank will do it for 0 cents on the dollar, which is considerably cheaper. Well, I'm sold, so today I headed down to a local branch. I won't mention the name of the bank, but it shares its name with a certain actor who had a failed attempt at a late night show some years back. So, I walk in to the Alan Thicke Savings and Loan (ATS&L for short), and I see that there is a line at the machine. "No problem" I think to myself... I have nothing else going on today. It's kind of disturbing when your complete plans for the day include changing coins into cash and returning Anchorman to Blockbuster...but I digress.

I'm standing in line at the ATS&L, and I watch as the guy at the machine furiously dumps a backpack full of change onto the conveyor belt. All kinds of coins were pouring out of his bag... coins, buttons, safety pins, lint... all kinds of goodies. I pondered the exchange rate for a pound of lint, when suddenly the machine stopped. The guy looks back at the guy behind him, holding his green Folger's can full of change like it was his newborn son, and gave him a dumbass grin. Mr. Folger's then looked at me, holding my glass jar with "Sunkist California Pistachios" painted on the side, and rolled his eyes. A woman sitting at a nearby desk sprung into action, and quickly ran toward the machine with her keys in her hand.

While Ms. Keymaster was working on getting the machine going, I noticed that two other people had gotten in line behind me. This free service sure was catching on. I flashed a quick smile to Captain Ziploc and Seniorita Sweatsock behind me. It was at this point when I realized that there is absolutely nothing inside a bank lobby that intrests me enough to stare at it for the 5 minutes it takes for Ms. Keymaster to empty the machine and get it running again. Bored out of my mind, I pick up a pamphlet titled "Fun with Home Equity" and read it as if I was really interested in having fun. Ok, honestly, I didn't read it... I just looked at the pictures a couple of times and wondered what kind of people had fun with home equity.

The machine was back up an running in no time, and it was now Mr. Folgers' turn to step up and feed the beast. He starts dumping his coins in, and the thing is purring along at breakneck speed. After a few minutes, the thing starts spitting out coins like a cheap whore. (note: I know that prostitutes do not, traditionally, spit out coins, but sometimes it's tough to come up with these similies.) Ms. Keymaster steps back up to the plate and starts to take apart the machine again. This time she goes and fetches a can of compressed air and a screwdriver. After puffing and prodding the machine for a few minutes, she looks at us and sheepishly says "Cat hair." I look back to see if Backpack Boy is still in the bank so I can pitch him a mean look, but he had already left.

Before you know it, I was at the front of the line. I dumped my jar onto the belt, and the machine gladly ate the coins like a cheap whore. (note: See, it fits this reference much better). I prevented what could have been a very uncomfortable scolding by Ms. Keymaster by saving a paper clip seconds before it got gobbled up. After a short time, my coins were gone, and the machine printed out a ticket for over $90.00. Woo hoo!

Now, I have to stand in the teller's line to get my printout redeemed. I'm listening to a teller talk to Mr. Folgers, and she asks him "Do you have an account at the Alan Thicke Savings & Loan?" He politely tells her "No", to which she replies "Well let me tell you all about the benefits of having an account with our bank." And then it hit me... I had just fallen for the oldest trick in the book. I was on the time share vacation, waiting for my free blender, and now it was time for the sales pitch. What was making me nervous is the fact that I have been known to be very suggestible at times. I never thought that I was, until recently when my buddy and I were trying to figure out what movie to see, and he told me "fhq, you're very suggestible some times", and I thought "You know what, he's right."

So I began to prepare myself to fight the evil siren's song. I'll tell her that I'm moving to Morrocco, or that I only have a few months to live, or that I just like the ATS&L as a friend, and I'm not ready to make a commitment yet. When it's my turn, I step to the teller, and hand her my ticket. I try not to make a lot of eye contact because I don't want to lure her into a conversation. On the other hand, I try not to make it look obvious that I'm not trying to make eye contact, because I want to appear natural to the security guard in the bank. I don't want him to see me slip the teller a "note" and then start to scan the room suspiciously. What I decide to do is to just make eye contact with one eye, but that was harder to do than it sounds.

She counts out my money a couple of times in front of me, and then slips it under the protective glass, into my hands. She says "Thank you very much"..... and that was it. I stood there for a second, waiting for the sales pitch, but much like my first high school girlfriend, it never came. I continued to stand there like George Costanza in the episode with the Sunshine Carpet Cleaners, waiting to be brainwashed. The teller just smiled and said "Next please." Brokenhearted, I turn around and almost bump into Ms. Keymaster as she was rushing toward the machine to help Captain Ziploc claim his fortune. I wondered why I wasn't "account holder" material, and I exited the ATS&L, never to return again. That is, not unless Gustav learns some new dance moves.

Your friend in commerce,
fhq

Ambient1 · 05-16-2005, 07:55 PM

First time I read that, I missed quite a few of the comic gems in your story... great work!

My coin jar is full again...for the past few weeks I've been jamming coins under the lid. Just a few more and it might asplode.

My local grocery store has a machine with 0% service fees, but the catch is you have to spend it all on groceries within a week (or you lose the money). The upside is that I'm well supplied in corn chips and dip after that.

clavus · 05-16-2005, 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fhqwhgads

I stood there for a second, waiting for the sales pitch, but much like my first high school girlfriend, it never came.

HA! Excellent.

I could never write a line like that...mostly because it would come out "much like my first high school girlfriend, it became a lesbian and started its own religion" But still, great stuff.

akito · 05-16-2005, 09:37 PM

This is one of the best things I've read on the internet in a long, LONG time. I can't stop laughing. Mega kudos to fhqwhgads.

Ishmal · 05-16-2005, 09:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fhqwhgads

Ok, honestly, I didn't read it... I just looked at the pictures a couple of times and wondered what kind of people had fun with home equity.

LOL.

nice piece of writing fhq...

Paq · 05-16-2005, 10:07 PM

Seriously, though, i HATE that feeling...

like...i've been in a book store (several actually, i think i live there...sadly enough) and i hear a sales lady ask a middle aged guy about a book club to join to get a discount. He declines, pays for his stuff, and i step up...and pay...no offer, nothing. She doesn't even think i'm good enough to save 10% on books for a year..the horrors..i've been rejected yet again..

Or, i am in a store shopping around and salespeople just avoid me like th plague bc i don't generally look like i have much money. So here is mr "I'm just browsing" fending off 3 salesmen when i have to literally beg for a dressing room.. It's almost as if i have to establish a residency in a place before they will offer to help. All this stuff used to be much easier in the late '90's when internet millionaires all dressed in jeans...

TheShadow · 05-16-2005, 10:12 PM

Thanks for sharing this great 'open letter' with us, fhq.

Gilda · 05-16-2005, 10:14 PM

My bank already offers this service, but you have to go through the teller; just bring your jar of coins, or in my case, five gallon plastic bottle of coins with no pennies (those go to the grocery store) in my little red wagon (which heppens to be blue) because it weighs over a hundred pounds, and they take it around back, run it through the machine, and bring back a reciept for which they give you bills or add it to your account.

The hardest part is getting it out of the trunk on days you don't have a Hawaiian Amazon along to do that for you.

amonkie · 05-17-2005, 04:14 AM

As usual... the mundane becomes a side split when told through your eyes.

MSD · 05-17-2005, 06:33 AM

"Fun With Home Equity"? Please tell me you can scan a copy of that and post it.

Daniel_ · 05-17-2005, 06:34 AM

I wanna move to america.

In the UK you go to your local bank, and hand over the bag to the cashier.

She counts the coins out, and gives you folding money.

That's it.

No funny stories, no cat hair, no humerous women blowing the machine like a two bit whore, nada.

My life is so poor by comparison.

All I can do is go pay in my entire months wages in pennies. Not that I do. I couldn't stand the looks from my ex-wife (who is a cashier at my bank).

That said - it'd take her all day to count them.

Hey - you gave me an idea....

arch13 · 05-17-2005, 07:20 AM

Quote:

What was making me nervous is the fact that I have been known to be very suggestible at times. I never thought that I was, until recently when my buddy and I were trying to figure out what movie to see, and he told me "fhq, you're very suggestible some times", and I thought "You know what, he's right."

Fricking comic gold I tell you!
You know, when you get a chance, I'd like to tell you about a great new investment opertunity on some beacfont land in Kansas. Be sure to PM me for more information!

BigBen · 05-17-2005, 07:43 AM

Truly awesome.

A
W
E
S
O
M
E

Gustav gets a Banana from Ben.

saltfish · 05-17-2005, 07:56 AM

I think you just beat out Clavis's, "Locked myself out of the house naked, attempted re-entry through the dog door" story.

That was a very well written chunk of absolute hilarity!

raeanna74 · 05-17-2005, 08:13 AM

With you and Clavis around who needs the Reader's Digest "Laughter is the Best Medicine."

Well written and clever. Wish I could write so eloquently. Thanks for sharing your "busy" day.

MoJoPokeyBlue · 05-17-2005, 08:39 AM

Great story.

Cynthetiq · 05-17-2005, 08:49 AM

wonderful when something truly is FREE.

Janey · 05-17-2005, 09:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raeanna74

With you and Clavis around who needs the Reader's Digest "Laughter is the Best Medicine."

Well written and clever. Wish I could write so eloquently. Thanks for sharing your "busy" day.

I second that, and submit to you BigBen for a mighty triumvirate of prose demons on TFP!

--gilda, how do you get so many coins????

Cynthetiq · 05-17-2005, 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janey

I second that, and submit to you BigBen for a mighty triumvirate of prose demons on TFP!

--gilda, how do you get so many coins????

hopefully she just hoarded them and not whoreded them.

BadNick · 05-17-2005, 10:34 AM

Very enjoyable story and made me laugh in work ...ahhh, now it's a better day

I'm still not sure I'm brave enough or strong enough to carry my 5gal water bottle filled with coins to a bank.

Gilda · 05-17-2005, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janey

--gilda, how do you get so many coins????

I, and other members of my household, never, ever spend coins for anything. Anyone who comes home at the end of the day without coins of some kind in her purse gets severely scolded. Well, whined at, at least. If it costs $1.03, I pay $2.00. The change gets separated into pennies and silver, and hoarded until the 5 gallon plastic bottle is nearly full. It took me close to four years the first time, but with three of us now, it only takes about 2 (atm's have ruined this method of saving) Five gallons of silver, by the way, makes for a pretty good downpayment on a new car

.

Enjoyed the story in the OP quite a bit, by the way.

Coppertop · 05-17-2005, 02:44 PM

Great story. You definitely rank up there with clavus for ability to bring the mundane to life.

FngKestrel · 05-17-2005, 03:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fhqwhgads

What was making me nervous is the fact that I have been known to be very suggestible at times. I never thought that I was, until recently when my buddy and I were trying to figure out what movie to see, and he told me "fhq, you're very suggestible some times", and I thought "You know what, he's right."

I'm right there with ya, brother.

flat5 · 05-17-2005, 04:45 PM

When the Guilders were changed for Euros, if you had a business account at a bank
you could just bring the coins. If you had a simple private account you had to bag the coins in separate plastic bags for each type of coin. That really upset me because they had machines to do the work automatically but only certain people had the option to use that service.

I HATE banks.

and you write very well, fhqwhgads!

Fremen · 05-18-2005, 07:44 PM

Another excellent post, fhq.

Oh, what I'd give for a book written by fhqwhgads, clavus and BigBen931...

ngdawg · 05-18-2005, 08:33 PM

Wonderful to see Fhq back in fighting form! I always look forward to his unique take on things.

clifclav · 05-20-2005, 07:05 AM

Very Clever and funny. Good comic timing. The only 5 star one I've read on here is Clavus' Vasectomy bit (To my dying day I will always laugh at the phrase "Tijuana whore during fleet week.") but I will give you 4.85 stars.

Thanks for the laughs.

anleja · 05-20-2005, 08:37 AM

I enjoyed this story greatly. It makes life go by so much easier when you can look at otherwise mundane parts of life with a slanted perspective.

As for not getting asked to start an account, it reminds me of a few days ago... I was waiting with a friend outside to go see a concert when this guy came up and asked my friend for some change. My friend told him (truthfully) he had none. The guy walked away without even asking me! I actually had a couple quarters sitting in my pocket. So I wondered if I looked totally broke, or if I just looked like a total asshole. He shoulda asked. Even though I probably would have told him no.

blahblah454 · 05-20-2005, 10:05 AM

Wow that was a great read! You have a real tallent for turning the mundane into a side-spliting story! I wish we had those in Canada, if we want bills from our change we have to suply our own rolls and roll our own money and then bring in FULL roles to exchange... and I'm pretty sure we have to be a member of the bank to get this service done...

I have to roll my quarters soon, I have about 30 pounds of them in a jar.

05-16-2005, 07:44 PM	#1 (permalink)
fhqwhgads Junkie	An open letter regarding the local bank... I was sitting on the couch the other day, as I am prone to do, and a commercial for a local bank comes on the television. The bank says that they now have machines that will change your coin into cash, and it's free... even to non customers. (I know... coin is already "cash"...but try to keep up with me here.) Like I'm guessing most of us do, I have a large jar full of change. I hate carrying coins in my pocket, so at the end of the day, I dump my coin into a large jar sitting on my dresser. After many months of washing windows at intersections, playing the tuba in front of the local coffee house, and turning the crank on the organ grinder while Gustav the monkey puts on a fez and dances a little jig, I have a lot of change built up. I've used these coin machines before in the grocery store, and I usually walk out with a good chunk of cash. However, the machines at the stores charge you around 8 cents per dollar that you cash in. But according to the actor dressed like Ben Franklin, the machine at the bank will do it for 0 cents on the dollar, which is considerably cheaper. Well, I'm sold, so today I headed down to a local branch. I won't mention the name of the bank, but it shares its name with a certain actor who had a failed attempt at a late night show some years back. So, I walk in to the Alan Thicke Savings and Loan (ATS&L for short), and I see that there is a line at the machine. "No problem" I think to myself... I have nothing else going on today. It's kind of disturbing when your complete plans for the day include changing coins into cash and returning Anchorman to Blockbuster...but I digress. I'm standing in line at the ATS&L, and I watch as the guy at the machine furiously dumps a backpack full of change onto the conveyor belt. All kinds of coins were pouring out of his bag... coins, buttons, safety pins, lint... all kinds of goodies. I pondered the exchange rate for a pound of lint, when suddenly the machine stopped. The guy looks back at the guy behind him, holding his green Folger's can full of change like it was his newborn son, and gave him a dumbass grin. Mr. Folger's then looked at me, holding my glass jar with "Sunkist California Pistachios" painted on the side, and rolled his eyes. A woman sitting at a nearby desk sprung into action, and quickly ran toward the machine with her keys in her hand. While Ms. Keymaster was working on getting the machine going, I noticed that two other people had gotten in line behind me. This free service sure was catching on. I flashed a quick smile to Captain Ziploc and Seniorita Sweatsock behind me. It was at this point when I realized that there is absolutely nothing inside a bank lobby that intrests me enough to stare at it for the 5 minutes it takes for Ms. Keymaster to empty the machine and get it running again. Bored out of my mind, I pick up a pamphlet titled "Fun with Home Equity" and read it as if I was really interested in having fun. Ok, honestly, I didn't read it... I just looked at the pictures a couple of times and wondered what kind of people had fun with home equity. The machine was back up an running in no time, and it was now Mr. Folgers' turn to step up and feed the beast. He starts dumping his coins in, and the thing is purring along at breakneck speed. After a few minutes, the thing starts spitting out coins like a cheap whore. (note: I know that prostitutes do not, traditionally, spit out coins, but sometimes it's tough to come up with these similies.) Ms. Keymaster steps back up to the plate and starts to take apart the machine again. This time she goes and fetches a can of compressed air and a screwdriver. After puffing and prodding the machine for a few minutes, she looks at us and sheepishly says "Cat hair." I look back to see if Backpack Boy is still in the bank so I can pitch him a mean look, but he had already left. Before you know it, I was at the front of the line. I dumped my jar onto the belt, and the machine gladly ate the coins like a cheap whore. (note: See, it fits this reference much better). I prevented what could have been a very uncomfortable scolding by Ms. Keymaster by saving a paper clip seconds before it got gobbled up. After a short time, my coins were gone, and the machine printed out a ticket for over $90.00. Woo hoo! Now, I have to stand in the teller's line to get my printout redeemed. I'm listening to a teller talk to Mr. Folgers, and she asks him "Do you have an account at the Alan Thicke Savings & Loan?" He politely tells her "No", to which she replies "Well let me tell you all about the benefits of having an account with our bank." And then it hit me... I had just fallen for the oldest trick in the book. I was on the time share vacation, waiting for my free blender, and now it was time for the sales pitch. What was making me nervous is the fact that I have been known to be very suggestible at times. I never thought that I was, until recently when my buddy and I were trying to figure out what movie to see, and he told me "fhq, you're very suggestible some times", and I thought "You know what, he's right." So I began to prepare myself to fight the evil siren's song. I'll tell her that I'm moving to Morrocco, or that I only have a few months to live, or that I just like the ATS&L as a friend, and I'm not ready to make a commitment yet. When it's my turn, I step to the teller, and hand her my ticket. I try not to make a lot of eye contact because I don't want to lure her into a conversation. On the other hand, I try not to make it look obvious that I'm not trying to make eye contact, because I want to appear natural to the security guard in the bank. I don't want him to see me slip the teller a "note" and then start to scan the room suspiciously. What I decide to do is to just make eye contact with one eye, but that was harder to do than it sounds. She counts out my money a couple of times in front of me, and then slips it under the protective glass, into my hands. She says "Thank you very much"..... and that was it. I stood there for a second, waiting for the sales pitch, but much like my first high school girlfriend, it never came. I continued to stand there like George Costanza in the episode with the Sunshine Carpet Cleaners, waiting to be brainwashed. The teller just smiled and said "Next please." Brokenhearted, I turn around and almost bump into Ms. Keymaster as she was rushing toward the machine to help Captain Ziploc claim his fortune. I wondered why I wasn't "account holder" material, and I exited the ATS&L, never to return again. That is, not unless Gustav learns some new dance moves. Your friend in commerce, fhq Last edited by fhqwhgads; 05-17-2005 at 02:53 PM.. Reason: I'm a bad spellar.

05-16-2005, 07:55 PM	#2 (permalink)
Ambient1 Tilted Location: The Hammer	First time I read that, I missed quite a few of the comic gems in your story... great work! My coin jar is full again...for the past few weeks I've been jamming coins under the lid. Just a few more and it might asplode. My local grocery store has a machine with 0% service fees, but the catch is you have to spend it all on groceries within a week (or you lose the money). The upside is that I'm well supplied in corn chips and dip after that. Last edited by Ambient1; 05-17-2005 at 08:31 AM.. Reason: Must've been half asleep to not recognize comic genius

05-16-2005, 10:07 PM	#6 (permalink)
Paq Junkie Location: South Carolina	Seriously, though, i HATE that feeling... like...i've been in a book store (several actually, i think i live there...sadly enough) and i hear a sales lady ask a middle aged guy about a book club to join to get a discount. He declines, pays for his stuff, and i step up...and pay...no offer, nothing. She doesn't even think i'm good enough to save 10% on books for a year..the horrors..i've been rejected yet again.. Or, i am in a store shopping around and salespeople just avoid me like th plague bc i don't generally look like i have much money. So here is mr "I'm just browsing" fending off 3 salesmen when i have to literally beg for a dressing room.. It's almost as if i have to establish a residency in a place before they will offer to help. All this stuff used to be much easier in the late '90's when internet millionaires all dressed in jeans... __________________ Live. Chris

05-16-2005, 10:12 PM	#7 (permalink)
TheShadow Crazy Location: Vancouver, Canada	Thanks for sharing this great 'open letter' with us, fhq. __________________ You know that song that goes like...

05-16-2005, 10:14 PM	#8 (permalink)
Gilda 32 flavors and then some Location: Out on a wire.	My bank already offers this service, but you have to go through the teller; just bring your jar of coins, or in my case, five gallon plastic bottle of coins with no pennies (those go to the grocery store) in my little red wagon (which heppens to be blue) because it weighs over a hundred pounds, and they take it around back, run it through the machine, and bring back a reciept for which they give you bills or add it to your account. The hardest part is getting it out of the trunk on days you don't have a Hawaiian Amazon along to do that for you. __________________ I'm against ending blackness. I believe that everyone has a right to be black, it's a choice, and I support that. ~Steven Colbert

05-16-2005, 09:37 PM	#4 (permalink)
akito Insane Location: Colorado	This is one of the best things I've read on the internet in a long, LONG time. I can't stop laughing. Mega kudos to fhqwhgads.

05-17-2005, 04:14 AM	#9 (permalink)
amonkie Drifting Administrator Location: Windy City	As usual... the mundane becomes a side split when told through your eyes. __________________ Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

05-17-2005, 06:33 AM	#10 (permalink)
MSD The sky calls to us ... Super Moderator Location: CT	"Fun With Home Equity"? Please tell me you can scan a copy of that and post it.

05-17-2005, 06:34 AM	#11 (permalink)
Daniel_ Evil Priest: The Devil Made Me Do It! Location: Southern England	I wanna move to america. In the UK you go to your local bank, and hand over the bag to the cashier. She counts the coins out, and gives you folding money. That's it. No funny stories, no cat hair, no humerous women blowing the machine like a two bit whore, nada. My life is so poor by comparison. All I can do is go pay in my entire months wages in pennies. Not that I do. I couldn't stand the looks from my ex-wife (who is a cashier at my bank). That said - it'd take her all day to count them. Hey - you gave me an idea....

05-17-2005, 07:43 AM	#13 (permalink)
BigBen Comedian Location: Use the search button	Truly awesome. A W E S O M E Gustav gets a Banana from Ben. __________________ 3.141592654 Hey, if you are impressed with my memorizing pi to 10 digits, you should see the size of my penis.

05-17-2005, 07:56 AM	#14 (permalink)
saltfish !?!No hay pantalones!?! Location: Indian-no-place	I think you just beat out Clavis's, "Locked myself out of the house naked, attempted re-entry through the dog door" story. That was a very well written chunk of absolute hilarity!

05-17-2005, 08:13 AM	#15 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	With you and Clavis around who needs the Reader's Digest "Laughter is the Best Medicine." Well written and clever. Wish I could write so eloquently. Thanks for sharing your "busy" day. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

05-17-2005, 08:39 AM	#16 (permalink)
MoJoPokeyBlue Upright	Great story.

05-17-2005, 08:49 AM	#17 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	wonderful when something truly is FREE. __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

05-17-2005, 10:34 AM	#20 (permalink)
BadNick Riding the Ocean Spray Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa	Very enjoyable story and made me laugh in work ...ahhh, now it's a better day I'm still not sure I'm brave enough or strong enough to carry my 5gal water bottle filled with coins to a bank.

05-17-2005, 02:44 PM	#22 (permalink)
Coppertop Getting Medieval on your ass Location: 13th century Europe	Great story. You definitely rank up there with clavus for ability to bring the mundane to life.

05-17-2005, 04:45 PM	#24 (permalink)
flat5 Very Insignificant Pawn Location: Amsterdam, NL	When the Guilders were changed for Euros, if you had a business account at a bank you could just bring the coins. If you had a simple private account you had to bag the coins in separate plastic bags for each type of coin. That really upset me because they had machines to do the work automatically but only certain people had the option to use that service. I HATE banks. and you write very well, fhqwhgads!

05-18-2005, 07:44 PM	#25 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	Another excellent post, fhq. Oh, what I'd give for a book written by fhqwhgads, clavus and BigBen931... __________________ Google

05-18-2005, 08:33 PM	#26 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	Wonderful to see Fhq back in fighting form! I always look forward to his unique take on things. __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

05-20-2005, 07:05 AM	#27 (permalink)
clifclav absolute relativist Location: D.C.	Very Clever and funny. Good comic timing. The only 5 star one I've read on here is Clavus' Vasectomy bit (To my dying day I will always laugh at the phrase "Tijuana whore during fleet week.") but I will give you 4.85 stars. Thanks for the laughs. __________________ Neither rain , nor cold, nor dark of night shall.......ahh whatever, just get me a beer!

05-20-2005, 08:37 AM	#28 (permalink)
anleja disconnected Location: ignoreland	I enjoyed this story greatly. It makes life go by so much easier when you can look at otherwise mundane parts of life with a slanted perspective. As for not getting asked to start an account, it reminds me of a few days ago... I was waiting with a friend outside to go see a concert when this guy came up and asked my friend for some change. My friend told him (truthfully) he had none. The guy walked away without even asking me! I actually had a couple quarters sitting in my pocket. So I wondered if I looked totally broke, or if I just looked like a total asshole. He shoulda asked. Even though I probably would have told him no.

05-20-2005, 10:05 AM	#29 (permalink)
blahblah454 Let's put a smile on that face Location: On the road...	Wow that was a great read! You have a real tallent for turning the mundane into a side-spliting story! I wish we had those in Canada, if we want bills from our change we have to suply our own rolls and roll our own money and then bring in FULL roles to exchange... and I'm pretty sure we have to be a member of the bank to get this service done... I have to roll my quarters soon, I have about 30 pounds of them in a jar.