Posted this on my LJ, but I'll repost here... grandma died.
 

If this isn't the right forum feel free to move it, wasn't sure where else to put this.


I was watering plants outside, came back in, and mom got a call from my aunt telling us that my gma passed away last night, so my mom's gotta fly up there this weekend for the funeral/wake.

I feel a little numb more than sad... it's weird, they're ALL gone now, as far as my dad's side goes. I'm glad though to tell you the truth, she was awfully sick, so they're all together now wherever they are.


A timeline:

2002 - My Uncle died.
2003 - My dad died.
2004 - My grandpa died.
+2005 - My grandma died last night.

It makes me feel almost unavailable emotionally with all of these deaths. Does that sound terrible? It's just how I feel. I haven't spilled one tear. I'm sad, don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't care... I just am not able to show it. *sigh*

My poor mom, she's been crying her eyes out all day. I'm there for her for hugs and everything. I booked her flight up to Massachusetts and got her a place to stay too. I'd go this weekend, but I have school that's just starting, my cat is here, plus she asked me to stay here anyway.

I feel bad that I'm not crying. Is it okay not to cry? Feels like I should though.

:|

it's perfectly Ok to not cry...Just like it's perfectly OK to cry in other circumstances. you've got a lot on your plate right now, and you've done all you can for you mom. you are strong for your mother right now, and that's what counts... maybe there's a part of your mind that knows that and is what is keeping it together.

sincere condolences to you and your family on all those losses... it's tough...

Believe me, I know how you feel. When my grandpa was killed, and my grandma seriously injured in a car accident last year, I didn't cry at all when I found out, it was just like I stopped feeling. My mother was also a wreck, and I did everything possible to comfort her.

The tears did not stay away forever though, at the cemetery when the honor guard played "Taps" (my grandpa was in the army during WWII), I just broke down.

You have my deepest condolences, and know that anytime you need to talk, the people here at TFP are more than willing to listen.