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Old 01-20-2005, 10:32 AM   #1 (permalink)
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The Lost Art of Parking

http://www.vwvortex.com/artman/publi...cle_1158.shtml
(entry has photos of bad parking, alternatively, you could just go to a nearby parking lot)

This guy nails it right on the head about people and parking these days.

For the clicking impaired:
Quote:
Rearview Mirror: Am I the Only One Who Still Knows How to Park?
January 17, 2005

by: Bryan Joslin

I’m a pretty humble guy. You won’t often hear me bragging about lap times or dyno results or wicked mods. Of course, that’s mostly because I don’t have a lot to brag about (insert modesty here). But there is one skill I am quite proud of, and that is my ability to properly park a vehicle.

It’s not like I was born with some supernatural gift to simultaneously operate any combination of mirrors, throttle, brakes, clutch, and steering. No, like any other great skill, mine was developed and honed by practicing. I’m not ashamed to admit that for several years of my early adulthood, I sold cars for a living (though selling VWs in the early ‘90’s was quite embarrassing). As a car salesman, I spent the better part of any given workday moving cars in and out of tight spaces; everything from digging a car out of the most remote corner of the lot for a test drive, to lining up the front row like perfect soldiers. Without a doubt my favorite task was moving cars in and out of the showroom, a job not for the faint of heart. I was always proud of the speed and precision with which I was able to accomplish this feat, and was often called upon to perform when time and/or space were at a minimum. Never so much as a nick in five years.

So not to rub it in, but to paraphrase a Jerky Boys bit, I can pretty much park a garbage truck in a closet if I have to. I realize not everyone has the superb “training” I have, but I can’t help but notice that the ability of the general driving public to park their car, truck, or SUV in the defined spaces of a parking lot has seriously gone downhill. I was reminded of this fact today when I was forced to make a trip to the local Home Depot, where on any given day at any given time, you can find a couple dozen pickups, SUVs and cars arranged in nearly random patterns. It’s as if the yellow lines painted on the asphalt are merely a suggestion for others to follow.

So as I watched a fellow motorist position his minivan at an angle nearly thirty degrees from parallel to my perfectly placed Touareg, his front bumper nearly touching mine, I pondered the reason for this loss of skills. Have people really forgotten how to park their cars, or is there something else to it?

To me, parking a car is the most fundamental skill, the building block on which all other driving skills are built. Think about it. Parking requires the driver to treat the throttle as a fine instrument instead of an on-off switch. Forethought and planning are required to properly steer the car into tight spaces. The controls must actually be operated without looking at the dashboard. And most of all, the driver must have a sense of the vehicle’s boundaries and a perspective for what surrounds him.

Bad driving starts with poor parking skills. How can a driver not be a hazard at higher speeds on the road if he can’t even line his car up relatively centered and straight between two yellow lines at a snail’s pace? How safe can someone possibly be in traffic if he doesn’t even know how far the front of his truck hangs over into the next space in a parking lot?

Part of the problem surely has to do with driver education. We can all agree that getting a driver’s license in most states requires not much more than a warm body with proper identification. High-school driver’s ed is typically taught by the same person that coaches wresting or basketball and doesn’t have quite enough to do with the middle of his day. My 16-year-old daughter completed driver’s ed over this past summer, and I was astonished to learn that they don’t actually practice parallel parking now, because it is no longer part of the examination process. Unbelievable!

Aside from the fact that more drivers are on the road with less developed skills, there are also more and more SUVs and minivans in today’s parking lots. These vehicles are larger and more difficult to park than a traditional mid-size sedan. Not only are they larger, but once one monster SUV parks all catty-wampus (old-guy terminology) in a crowded parking lot, the domino effect almost certainly ensues thereafter.

Not to single out SUVs alone, minivans are also gross offenders of parking lot etiquette. Everyone know soccer moms have a hard time concentrating on menial tasks like parking when there are five screaming rugrats in the back watching Toy Story 2 on the flip-down DVD player.

Putting all biased generalizations aside, I think there is a deeper issue at hand. Certainly parking skills could be sharper, driver education could be much better, and most of us could get by driving a more socially responsible vehicle than we do. But all of those things still would not change the parking situation much.

Instead, I believe the real problem is that we have lost respect for our fellow motorists in recent times. We have become more selfish as a society, and we have taken for granted the privilege it is to own and operate personal transportation. More and more, driving is becoming just another tedious task, and who really wants to take the extra ten seconds to straighten the family transport appliance after battling 47 continuous traffic signals to get to the mall? So what if the tail of your car is hanging into the next guy’s space- let him figure it out if he’s in such a hurry to leave before you do!

As a car enthusiast, I still take pride in my ability to park my car properly. If we should happen to cross paths some day, mine will most likely be the car parked away from the crowd, centered perfectly in its space, setting an example that I hope others will follow.
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Old 01-20-2005, 10:34 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I can't park for shit.

Honestly though, I tend to only have this problem when somebody else is in the car with me. Distraction issues I guess...
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Old 01-20-2005, 10:42 AM   #3 (permalink)
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The first day my dad took me out to drive, we went downtown during rush hour, and my dad pointed at a parallel parking spot and told me to park there. I was still having trouble not stalling the car (standard), and talk about freaking out, I had cars honking at me, hundreds of motorists flipping me off. I was tense as could be. Of course, the very first time I hit the curb, and then the second time i hit the curb, and after many attempts I finally got into the spot.

My dad then had me pull out and two blocks later pointed out another parallel parking spot and made me park there. Once I accomplished that he took me to a hilly road with lots of stoplights, to get practice starting on hills with a standard. Once again, lots of honking motorists, and middle fingers as I stalled the car at almost every hilly stoplight, and almost rolled back into 3 or 4 other cars. After that first day I was frustrated, and thought my dad was a jerk, but when I'm walking downtown, and watch someone attempt to parallel park and practically take out the parking meter I laugh, and appreciate the fact that those were my first lessons.
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Old 01-20-2005, 10:44 AM   #4 (permalink)
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My house doesn't have a driveway so I have to park on the street.

As a result I have become a parallel parking machine... I can fit my car into a space that is only slightly larger than my car to begin with... It just bugs me when others on the street leave too much space between cars so they waste a parking space.

I often wish there was a way of shuffling the cars on my street so that these wasteful gaps could be avoided...
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Old 01-20-2005, 10:46 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I can parallel park well when I don't think too much about it. If I start to contemplate the mechanics of it, I blow myself out of the water and have to do the 100 point parallel parking job.

Right side, left side parallel parking too.

Parking is an important skill.
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Old 01-20-2005, 10:58 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I love the fact that parallel parking was taken out of the parking test, probably because too many people were failing it.
/sarcasm

I've seen this trend where if the tests are too hard, instead of wanting to fail more people, they neuter the tests. Not just in parking but other activities too.
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Old 01-20-2005, 11:03 AM   #7 (permalink)
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The truth is that most people living in the suburbs or in the country don't have to parallel park very much... if at all.

They all have driveways and the stores they go to all have parking lots.
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Old 01-20-2005, 11:03 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FngKestrel
I love the fact that parallel parking was taken out of the parking test, probably because too many people were failing it.
/sarcasm
Man, not only did I have to take 1 written test and 2 driving test, but I had to parallel park on both driving tests... I *wish* they'd taken it out! Damn Ontario government, thinking we need to know how to park..
 
Old 01-20-2005, 11:08 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Yeah, but even people parking in parking lots is pretty bad. The people at my workplace are pretty decent at parking on a normal day, but if it snows... I know you can't see the lines and all, but parking in a reasonable manner semi-parallel to the person you're parking next to is not that hard! On one of those days I see more diagonals than a highschool geometry textbook.
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Old 01-20-2005, 11:23 AM   #10 (permalink)
©
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kurty[B]
After that first day I was frustrated, and thought my dad was a jerk, but when I'm walking downtown, and watch someone attempt to parallel park and practically take out the parking meter I laugh, and appreciate the fact that those were my first lessons.
A man after my own heart ... your dad, that is. I taught both of my daughters to drive. Classes included parallel parking, changing a tire, controlling a skid on ice, checking the oil, manual transmision, and lot's of other things. After "Dad's school of driving", the state's test looked easy.
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Old 01-20-2005, 11:24 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlatan
The truth is that most people living in the suburbs or in the country don't have to parallel park very much... if at all.

They all have driveways and the stores they go to all have parking lots.
and here's the examples of bad parking from the link. Honestly there is no excuse for this except that people are just too much in a rush and don't care about other people's property and only their own selfishness.







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Old 01-20-2005, 11:39 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cynthetiq
Well, the ground is wet and the grass is yellow, so this picture has all the signs of "it snowed overnight, people parked in the morning, then it warmed up and the snow melted". I mean, people couldn't otherwise be that stupid, could they?
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Old 01-20-2005, 12:12 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Ratbastid parallel parks very well, and I'm getting better. I can usually jockey it in there in no more than 2 tries with no damage to life, limb, or property. There are some pretty simple rules, and if you have decent depth perception you should be able to do it. However, I don't have good depth perception, so I often end up a little further from the curb than I ought to be. I'm working on it.

When you're parking in a parking lot, though, there aren't really that many excuses. All you have to do is pull in! I have had it happen, though, that the person next to me parked like an idiot so I have to park too far to one side or the other, and then the original bad parker leaves and I just look like an idiot who parked badly for no reason.
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Old 01-20-2005, 12:32 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Parking sucks. That's why I fly around everywhere, like Superman.

I can actually park well. I can park my dad's truck just fine, and I can park my friend's SUV better than he can >_>
I have to take my time with parallel parking though.
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Old 01-20-2005, 12:40 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Yup, the main issu eseems to be people just don't care anymore. I must say I was elated when I read in the local paper that cops were issuing tickets to SUVs that attempted to squeeze themselves in compact parking spaces.

Last edited by Coppertop; 01-20-2005 at 12:41 PM.. Reason: see bold
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Old 01-20-2005, 12:45 PM   #16 (permalink)
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I have taken to leaving notes on windshields-'next time, try parking BETWEEN the lines, not over them'.
I was recently blocked from entering my car by a Cadillac Escalade that was so close alongside my car, I thought it hit mine. For 45 minutes, I waited for the owner to emerge from the Target store. When I saw a well-dressed old geezer exit the store, I knew I had the culprit. As he entered his spaceship, I let him have it. I cursed him left and right, screamed at him how much of a moron he is and had no business driving that monster if he can't park it and threatened to get a lawyer if there's but one scratch on my car. His response to this? "Dot cah vas not dere before". HELLO? How'd I get out of it then, you $(&%$&^.
Picking up my kids from school is a lesson in patience that I am failing miserably. Why can't women park??? They swing up to the curb, leaving about 6ft between them and the minivan in front, making it impossible for the rest of us to get parked. ANd if they DO leave enough space, you should see their faces when I go to parallel park in fron of them!! Pure terror....
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Old 01-20-2005, 12:48 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Funny stuff. I've been comtemplating printing up some notes to keep in my car for just that purpose. So far I've come up with "You need help coloring too?" With perhaps an image of a child coloring all over the damn place (not inside the lines).
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Old 01-20-2005, 12:50 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Coppertop, I like that idea, maybe next weeks Tilted Art Project should be to make up fliers for people who can't park between lines.
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Old 01-20-2005, 01:04 PM   #19 (permalink)
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My worst experience was a mom in a Suburban that parked so close to the right side of my motorcycle that I couldn't set it up straight. I waited nearly an hour for her to come out. She didn't apologize, she just said she was in a hurry and that a motorcycle didn't need a whole space. Her kids learned some new words that day.
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Old 01-20-2005, 01:19 PM   #20 (permalink)
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I've been tempted at times to make a homemade boot out of quikrete (www.quikrete.com) to punish people who park poorly.
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Old 01-20-2005, 01:52 PM   #21 (permalink)
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People suck at parking where I work. I once drove down a lane about 50 yards until i couldn't get through. The lane kept getting more narrow because people wouldn't pull in far enough. The 3 or so cars behind me had to throw it in reverse with me. lol
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Old 01-20-2005, 02:04 PM   #22 (permalink)
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I started a thread in Tilted Art. Let's hope there are some good results.

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...22#post1635822
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Old 01-20-2005, 02:38 PM   #23 (permalink)
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i hate bad parkers, my car has never once been parked outside the line, today i was parking on a side lot of a building that wasn't plowed, i pulled the handbrake and slide sideways into the spot, opened the door, checked to see if i was in the spot, and turned the car off , hell, i can even get perfectly into a spot when drifting in to it on the snow and ice, yet the average person can't do it when driving head on.... they just don't care
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Old 01-20-2005, 03:19 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Interesting that this thread came up today. As I sat outside my workplace today waiting for my husband to pick me up, I watched an old man attempt to park his vehicle. He turned into the space, hit the gas instead of the brake, and plowed head-on into the building. He wasn't hurt but his bumper, license plate, and headlights didn't make out so great.

I always check to make sure that my parking job doesn't interfere with another drivers ability to get into their car and leave their space easily. I guess a lot of people just don't do that anymore.
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Old 01-20-2005, 03:45 PM   #25 (permalink)
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I'm guilty of being a bad parker, I admit it. It's not so much the fact that I'm a jerk, just I don't have the ability. I could spend all day attempting to parallel park, and never accomplish it, I don't know why. I've tried practicing, and that still doesn't help, I just can't get it. So all of us bad parkers don't do it just because we're lazy
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Old 01-20-2005, 03:47 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlatan
It just bugs me when others on the street leave too much space between cars so they waste a parking space.

I'm one of those. I used to be like you, parking in spaces barely longer than my car. Then the idiot in front of me decided to back up about 3 feet before pulling out, and destroyed the front end of my car. Since then, I like to have plenty of room between me and the other guys so maybe they won't hit me when they're pulling out.
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Old 01-20-2005, 03:59 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Independant Canadian movie called The Delicate Art of Parking. It's pretty damn funny. You guys should definately give it a look.
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Old 01-20-2005, 04:08 PM   #28 (permalink)
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I am an excellent parker?.

When I was 15, my father ran me through countless drills before I took my driving test. He said it was for my benefit, but I think he enjoyed the hell out of it.

Ironically, my driving test consisted of me driving with an officer about a mile down the road, turning around in a parking lot and driving back. Took all of 10 minutes and the cop was more interested in my air conditioning rather than my driving skill.
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Old 01-20-2005, 04:20 PM   #29 (permalink)
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i agree wholeheartedly. my brother got his license before me, so my dad knew that parallel parking was no longer on the examination, but he said "i dont give a shit, youre learning it anyways." So we took two stools, set them up at the boundaries, and made me practice and practice until i never hit a stool. i also agree that people are more and more selfish these days. saddening trend.
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Old 01-20-2005, 04:23 PM   #30 (permalink)
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i always park in a parking lot really well... my car is pretty big...(93 ford explorer)
I always back in... or pull thru... its not hard... just got to get used to the vehicle and learn where the edges are...

im alright at parallel parking... dont have to do it much so my skills are a bit rusty im sure... but when ive had to do it I always make it on the first try...
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Old 01-20-2005, 04:26 PM   #31 (permalink)
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Usually when I see bad parking, it is either because of snow blocking the lines and then melting, or a new driver. Otherwise it's just people being in a hurry. Although, when I park, I am in my spot everytime. I doesn't take a lot of time at all. It comes down to whether you are considerate of other people, or at least considerate enough not to get your own car scratched up.
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Old 01-20-2005, 06:16 PM   #32 (permalink)
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Bad parking irks me. However, I found myself in an odd situation at a mall a few months back. It was a busy time and it was very hard to find a space. In the middle of the lot, two very badly parked cars were next to each other- the one on the right was 1/4 into the parking space on it's left-hand side, and the car on the left had taken one and a half spaces diagonally. I was left straddling the yellow line and at an angle in order to park. I rushed off to work, hoping not to be late.

When I got back some 8 hours later, the other two cars were gone (obviously) leaving my truck looking like a retard parked it. Under my windsheild wiper blade was a very nasty note telling me how to park, and some information on where I should stick my "mother fucking POS gas guzzler".

Normally I'm a good parker. I swear.
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Old 01-20-2005, 07:30 PM   #33 (permalink)
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Wow.. bad parking in a lot has nearly zero excuse. Even if you're the worst parker there is, it takes about 45 seconds to go out, check the lines, go back in and re-adjust. So unless if you're in a HURRY (and I mean "Someone I know just got an accident" hurry, and not "I'm gonna be late for an appointment" hurry..), bad parking in a parking lot is the result of carelesness, not bad parking skills.
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Old 01-20-2005, 07:35 PM   #34 (permalink)
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i'm so glad i'm not driving yet. I'd hate to have to deal with this kind of stuff. i'll drive eventually, and when i do, i'll be sure to learn from others mistakes. If not, then i'll have learn from my own, if i make it that far, that is
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Old 01-20-2005, 07:44 PM   #35 (permalink)
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You guys think parking a car is hard?? Try parking planes wingtip to wingtip, where you either have to come in sideways and do a sharp 90 degree turn, or go in backwards.
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Old 01-20-2005, 07:46 PM   #36 (permalink)
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yeah, that's true, but anything is hard if you don't have experience. You can't expect to automatically be good at everything. Sometimes you need to work at it before you get better at it.
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Old 01-21-2005, 03:30 AM   #37 (permalink)
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Reminds of a time a year or two ago, when my family went out to eat.

My dad, not realizing it, did a shaft job of taking up 2 spaces in the mini-van.

Then, when we returned to the car after the meal, we found on a business card [that was preprinted, someone must have them pre-printed] on the back windshield:

THANKS FOR TAKING UP 2 SPACES
U ASSHOLE
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Old 01-21-2005, 05:05 AM   #38 (permalink)
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What a great article...I enjoyed reading it. He is right on.

I was lucky too I guess, my old man taught me how to parallel park and I am now a master at it. I have even been walking down the street and seen people try to park their cars, couldn't, went to their window, told them to get out and I'll do it. And did it in 10 sec. This has happened 3 time in the past 10 years. Kind of funny actually.

What irks me a little more are people who think their Mustang or whatever is actually a Ferrari or Bentley. They then proceed to park on an angle and take up two spaces. Jeez...come on. If your car is that important to you, go to the back of the parking lot and do that. Not in the front.
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Old 01-21-2005, 05:10 AM   #39 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carn
You guys think parking a car is hard?? Try parking planes wingtip to wingtip, where you either have to come in sideways and do a sharp 90 degree turn, or go in backwards.
I find it easier than parking a car :P Seems more to be more responsive.
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Old 01-21-2005, 05:36 AM   #40 (permalink)
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Why do SUV drivers feel compelled to back into all parking spaces? The only thing I can figure is that they believe it is easier to leave a parking space if you're facing forward rather than trying to back out of one. But isn't it therefore just as damned difficult to back INTO one as it would be to back out of it??? What exactly are they solving?
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