A Restaurant is NOT a Playground (rant)
 

This post is intended in the hopes that all of you who have children will take just a few minutes and consider somebody else's viewpoint for a change.

My wife and I will enjoy our 10th Anniversary next Thursday, so we've been spreading the celebration out over several days. Tonight, we went out to eat at our local Outback Steakhouse in order to enjoy a Bloomin' Onion.

The word "enjoy" never made it into our vocabulary tonight because of all the little screaming, obnoxious, undisciplined rugrats running around all over the place.

Since when did the word "restaurant" become a synonym for "playground?"

There were three separate groups of families sitting near us, and they completely ruined our night. One family actually brought a bag of toys for the kids to play with, and they dumped them out on the floor and allowed the kids to turn our section into a sandbox. Another group of kids played Hide and Seek nearby, using empty booths as hiding places. This game quickly degenerated into a simple Tag-You're It game, and they were soon running and screaming through the restaurant. The third group of kids sat at the table with their parents and yelled conversation back and forth to each other.

What happened to teaching kids decorum? Shouldn't that be an opportunity for the parents to teach that? One couple sitting nearby asked the parents of the second group to get their kids away from their booth, and the parents replied that they were just little kids.

Yeah, so? If they're old enough to go out, they're old enough to learn how to act when they go out. Otherwise, hire a damn baby-sitter, and let the rest of us enjoy our high-priced meals in peace.

And another thing; no matter how cute you parents think your kids are, none of the rest of us think so. We don't want to have to hear them at ear-splitting decibel levels describe their mashed-up foods. We want them to shut up.

Surprisingly, none of the restaurant staff made any attempt to speak to the parents about the kids, so I can only assume this is now normal behavior for kids in restaurants.

The next time the hostess asks me, "Smoking, or non-smoking?" I will reply, "I want the No Damn Kids section, please."

Are the rest of you experiencing this, too, or is it just us?

Heh. Makes you sound old and grumpy, but yeah - you're absolutely right.

Amen brother. I HATE this... no matter where i go, taco bell, wendys. outback, longhorn, red lobster... if im not paying $75 or more for the two of us, i get swamped with rug rats.... and at $75 for no kids, id rather just stay home... i cant afford that

and if it makes me sound old and grumpy, well, im 19... if that makes me young and disrespectful, so be it.

Wow, that sounds very annoying. My wife and I have a 2 year old and a 6 month old, and we are going to do everything in our power to show them respect. When I was little, if I acted like that, I would be disciplined (sp?). Maybe its not too late to call the management. There is no reason why you had to pay to sit in that environment.

I myself can't recall ever dealing with crazy kids in a restaurant, but I've sure almost plowed 'em over with a shopping cart as they run yelling at the store. I know kids'll be kids... but I really don't remember acting like that! Maybe parents are getting lazier.

If that were me at that restaurant, I would have told the manager that I was leaving the restaurant, and that I was not paying for a meal that I could not eat In PEACE.

well when i was little and i would go to the restraunts with my parents my mom would bring some crayons and some paper and i would draw... then when i got old enough to read longer books i would bring books with me... and read... i dont ever remember being like these kids you described... i woulda talked to the manager... i mean your paying to go out and eat and relax... why should you have to put up with kids acting like that...

maybe one option is take out... i know the outback steakhouse here you can order stuff and have them box it up and you can take it back home and enjoy it in the quite of your own home...kinda defeats part of the purpose of going out tho...

Hell restaurants out here used to give out crayons and paint by number/word & picture games to keep kids occupied.

Guess times have changed...

Its a two step process.

Step 1 - complain to the manager. Ignore the asshat parents. They have already proven that they are out of the loop.

Step 2 - If the issue isn't resolved, leave. Don't pay. Leave and don't come back.

Note: If you are in a Pizza place, fast food, etc. These rules don't apply. These establishments are "restaurant training grounds" for kids and parents.

You have kids? Sure, great. Just don't burden the rest of us with them, thank you.

I agree that out of control kids can completely ruin a meal at a restaurant. However, so can a table of fourty-year old drunks that are telling obscene jokes to each other as loudly as possible. It's not solely age-related, the restaurant owners just need to grow some balls and deal with unruly customers and their children.

We always made a point to tell our 4 year old son that he needs to behave on those rare occasions that we all go out to eat. We would tell him that if he misbehaved, he would have to sit in his car seat in the car in the parking lot with my wife, while I stayed in the restaurant and finished my meal (of course we would take turns).

He didn't believe we would actually do it, so he tested us one night at Tony Roma's. He was being an absolute monster so my wife calmly took him by the hand and they left. That was in December and he hasn't acted up in restaurants since!

I wish more parents would do this

Agreed. I wish more parents behaved like parents. Many years ago I worked at a local nursery/craft store and one time a woman came in with her 5-6 year old boy (she carried him in, which is completely fucked up at that age imo) and he was being a monster -- taking things off of the shelves and throwing them around, poking holes in boxes and bags, etc. When they eventually made it to the checkout he wanted a candy bar and the mother said "no", and he started hitting, kicking, and biting her. I was absolutely shocked, and she just acted like it was nothing new and left the store.

I don't understand that mother at all -- does she think she's being a good parent, or does she just not care? That kid is going to grow up to be a little asshole all the way through school, or he'll earn enough beatings from schoolmates to calm down until he has kids of his own to beat up.

My college roomate told me that her parents didn't take the children out to restaurants until they were 10. At that point they were told that if they misbehaved, the next time would be 18.

I personally go nuts over parents who cannot control their children in public. They seem to confuse no-discipline with love of their children when really, the opposite is true. Kids who are disciplined (with in reason of course) know that there parents care enough about them to set boundries.

I can't believe that this kind of thing is happening in real restaurants. (I suppose it's slightly excusable if it's very obviously a "family" restaurant.

I will say this for the French, they've got a pretty damn solid food service culture. Just imagining how a properly trained French waiter would chew crude parents out in a good restaurant...oh, that'd be a sight worth paying to see.

Re: A Restaurant is NOT a Playground (rant)
 

Oh, good, I'm not the only one.

What you describe is a time to summon the store manager.

I don't understand how that's a "maybe". :(

Kids and high end restaraunts don't mix. I have a 3 year old, and we go to McDonalds or Burger King, where they have a play land, and we eat in there. She's expected to bounce all over the place and she does. We haven't gone to too many "good" restaraunts with her in tow, but the ones we have been to, she hasn't been too annoying. I mean, she is a 3 year old, so it's different than a 6-10 year old that definitely knows better, but she catches on quick.
What you describe is parents that are probably half retarded.

This is THE greatest peeve of my wife and I. We joke about opening a restaraunt someday that will have a "no kids" section.
It's my opinion that society has decided that no one has to be accountable for their own actions anymore. Ok, long rant removed here.
It seems like the host/hostess invariably will seat us in the center of the "children's section" even when there are quieter alternatives, so we often ask for a different table. I wonder if they purposely do this just to have those quieter tables available for the people like us who ask???
I truly believe that licenses should be required for having kids and that long training be required and passed in order to get it. Goes against my less government philosophy, but it's needed. Badly. Some people just shouldn't be allowed to breed.

Yeah, it's a problem. The first question is always: "who decides?" Government may be the answer, but not any government I've ever heard of.

I have a 4 1/2 y.o. and a baby. With the 4 1/2 y.o. we always make sure she has crayons, a book, or a barbie or something to keep her occupied while she waits. She will play with these in our booth and not leave unless to go to the toilet (and then accompanied).

That's what I was going to say. But, being the BoCo you all know so well, you can bet I would have said something to the brats since their parents wouldn't. "Hey! Sit down and shut up, god dammit, or I'll rip your damn heads off! You got me, you little shits?!?"

It wouldn't be the first time, either. :mad:

I spent 6 years as a restaurant manager in higher end places. Whenever there were somewhat unruly kids, especially if they were running around, I would take the initiative to talk to the parents. I would explain to them that it was best to keep the children in their seats for their own safety. With servers running around with trays and plates full of hot food, drinks, pots of coffee, etc., the risk for an accident was too great. As I didn't want to see them (or my staff) injured, I would appreciate it if the kids were seated. This worked almost every time. The other few times, I comped a lot of meals, bought a lot of drinks (and hopefully some goodwill). And no, a restaurant with a $50 per person average check does not have a kids menu!

And I accept that totally. I would EXPECT McDonald's to be like that.


And mtsgsd, it sounds like we've been out to eat together. I think restaurants have pictures of my wife and I tacked up somewhere, and they immediately stick us right smack in the damn middle of the screaming brat section every time.

We have often discussed the dream of opening a restaurant with a "No Kids" section. We figure that if the parents complain about it, then we don't want their business anyway, and there would be plenty of other sane folks who would appreciate it and throw us some extra business.

It's not just you by a long shot. I have always been a firm believer in children with manners. We started taking ours out when they were infants instead of leaving them with a sitter. Ours grew up KNOWING what kind of behavior was expected.

I think that if you can't control your herd of ankle biters in public then you need to leave them at home. Everyone seems to confuse their "rights" with doing as they please. You have no rights to inflict your decendents on me in a public place.

This gets my vote as the TFP Quote of the Day.

I bow to your greatness.

you know what i find interesting? everyone is saying "yeah, kids in restaurants blow", but no one will admit when it's their kids. i just find stuff like that interesting.

That's because we're all perfect parents. I thought that went w/o saying! :D

Here's one that's only tangentially related.

For over a year, I worked in a Burger King. It was okay work, and the people were generally decent. This restaurant had an indoor playground, with fake grass carpetting.

Fairly often, I'd be called out to perform a particular cleanup task. Y'see, parents often brought their kids in, made them eat first, then sent them to play. You might see where I'm going with this, :) but it's better than that.

The playground, being indoors, didn't have major playground pieces. One thing it did have was a merry-go-round of the sort that you have to push yourself. Fast.

So I'd be called out to clean up the circle of puke around this bit of equipment. Occasionally, I'd be asked by a parent, after she (almost always "she") finished apologizing, how I could stand to do it. I just told her/them that it happened all the time and I'd pretty much gotten used to it.

Last time I went to that restaurant, they'd closed the playground. Liability issues, I assume.

aaah NYC and Child free!!!! there are places that aren't kid friendly here :)

Very diplomatic.

I've always found it easier to make people do what you want them to if you can just explain it in terms of their personal benefit.

Plus, this is a perfectly valid point. I don't think any parent would like a plate of sizzling fajita meat or a pot of hot coffee dropped on their kid.

I have a 3 yr old and a one year old, and while they are a handful, restaurants aren't much of an issue. For some reason they both behave wonderfully. They only act up when they're at home. Take the good with the bad.

People that let their kids roam free in restaurants need to be shot in the face. The rare opportunity that my wife and I get to go out we tend to go someplace that is expensive so that we limit the chances that there will be kids there. It is amazing how some people raise their kids.

Based on my experience as a teacher, these would also be the very same parents who would run straight to their attorney's office and file suit against the restaurant for negligence.

warrrreagle,

Of course.

If you can't take responsibility, sue someone with money.

It's the American way.

I'm not a petfect parent by any means but I never let my children run wild in a restaurant, a grocery store, or any other public place. I was raised to have manners and thought it was my duty to pass them on.

I hope that many of you pass manners on to your children.

I have dealt with it and hate it. Dei37 and I have our own girl who is almost 3. She is usually pretty good but when her behavior gets a little out of control we give her a swat or even a few swats on the behind and she settles down. I know we're taking a chance with this but if anyone says anything at all there is no evidence of psychological damage and no physical damage so they can just shove off. Part of the degeneration is decorum among the children now is a result of all these "experts" telling us that spanking is not useful. When a kid is out in public they know that they can get you riled up and you can't do anything about it more than just talking to them because you're so stinking afraid of some bozo taking your kids away cause you swatted their poor little behind for being disrespectful. If people would just bug off and leave us to use a little corporal punishment then we wouldn't have to deal with these kids or their parents that don't show any respect for others. A firm swat on the behind never hurt anyone. I'm not advocating whipping out the belt and yanking down the pants and leaving welts. I dont advocate that at all. I've dealt with too many abusive parents in child care and in teaching. For my own child though - she will respect other's peace and quiet and learn to enjoy herself at the same time. Besides who never heard of bring your kids some quiet puzzles or coloring books! Kids brains are so rotted out by TV they can't entertain themselves quietly anymore. Anyway there's my rant. Rest assured it won't be my girl intrudes on your dinner next time.

I completely agree. Many "experts" tell parents to consider a child as an adult far far before they are mature enough for that kind of responsibility. Corporal punishment (within reason of course) does work with a majority of kids, as shameless as they seem to be these days. Parents, as well as educators, need to stop thinking of discipline as a "negative traumatic experience" for the child, and more as a path to positive behavior in the future.

my parents would had beat us silly. not literaly but I'm sure you get what i mean.

they did very well. not nazi-strict parents but we couldn't pesture others.

Garfields here have paper as tablecloths, they write names on it andl leave crayons for the kids... and us older art inspirationals :D


next time, warrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, try Chucky Cheese!!!

My thoughts exactly.

My mother always threatened with making the manager come over and yell at me...SOmehow more scary then simply my parents, I don;t know, but it worked.

These "parents" you speak of (boy, that term is used loosely) are your typical soccer mom 80,000 dollar SUV driving, child psychologist listenin morons who have no right to reproduce. Hell, when I was a kid, i stopped acting up in public places after the first time. My dad never beat me, but he sure as hell made me think he would. And that is why I never acted up. Children these days have parents by the balls (or vulva as the case may be) because they know if they get spanked they can tell their teacher/babysitter/friend's mom/some other adult and get their parents in huge trouble. All because some nutjobs came up with the idea that discipline = lowered self esteem = future delinquents. Sorry, but that rant lit a spark in me and I had to reply with another rant.

I'm especially sensitive to this, because I hate kids. I find them insanely annoying to begin with.
My steps for dealing with this:

1. Get a hold of manager. Tell them the kids are being obnoxious and seriously bothering you.

2. If it persists despite an honest attempt, I leave. If the manager tries to blow me off with some sort of "they're just kids" bullshit (which I get a LOT), I inform them that _I_ can yell much, MUCH louder than the kids can, and if he/she (the manager) doesn't get them to shut up, i'm going to yell at the little shits until they cry and then yell at the parents for being irresponsible assholes and raising their kids up as bastards.

Nothing says motivation like hitting them in the pocket. You think a parent will return to a restuarant where their little kid got yelled at and called a "stupid fucking brat who should die a horrible, painful death at the hands of strangers"? (my fave line- I've only used it once, but the mom damn near fainted... ah, memories...)

neing a waiter at a semi- upscale restraunt, i know this to well. most of the time the kids are well behaved and are no problem, but some kids are just brat plain and simple the parents just dont care. example; a few weeks ago a mother grand mother and this prolly 12 year old kid came in, every time i turned around the kid was dumping shit in to our candle lamps. every thing from salt and sugar, to PAPER and other flammabe things. it took sevral dirty looks @ the kid then me finnaly going and talking to him, not his mother i mind you , for him to stop.

and just tonight thire was this damned 2 yearold running around climbing every ware. i didnt say anything in leiu of possable getting a good tip. but those cheap basterds who rang up a $88 bill left me fucking 5 bucks after i put up with all their shit (cleaning up spillt soda/ apple juice)

i realy wish my restraunt would invoke some new rules

1.no kids
2. no cell phones nothing is worse than some fucktards cell going off 10 times while he is eating

God I remember back in the day if i misbehaved and screamed one little bit i got whopped and never misbehaved again. Otherwise the parents hired a baby sister and I didn't go with. My parents taught restaurant etiquette from an early age which I am glad I learned. My dad hardly ever goes out to eat with the family due to the fact of people bringing screaming kids and not doing a damn thing about it. Reminds me of a time me and my girlfriend where standing in line waiting for her to get her medication. There was this lady behind with a little kids and he was so loud and picking shit up and being the most annoying little shit someone could imagine. I said in a quiet voice "she needs to give him a good slap on the hand head and ass. and my parents did that all the time and I turned out really good" The lady in front of me just started to laugh her ass off and said she agreeded. I think people are also worry about being to "harsh" cause if they hit their kid in public it might make them look like a "bad" parent.......Discipline is highly needed.

I am a full time single father of a 9 y.o. girl and 7 y.o. boy, and my kids have NEVER behaved this way in a restaurant. Why? Because I PARENT my children (this seems to be a foreign concept to most people). My children know how to behave in these types of situations, and know what is EXPECTED of them(yes I expect my children to be respectful toward others) . I get pissed when i take my children w/ me somewhere like the Outback (yes I have taken them there, and they disturbed NOBODY) and other peoples kids are behaving like frigging animals, as a matter of fact my kids get upset about it and complain to the waiter/waitress!

cj2112, this is the stuff I applaud. Being a single parent is tough enough, I'd imagine, but it's just cool when your kids complain about other's kids not behaving properly. It helps that they are a little older, and most definitely understand what manners are, as compared to a 2-5 year old, but still...impressive.

I recently went out with my girlfriend's family to dinner. She has the most obnoxious 6 year old sister. I wanted to get up and leave half way through. Aren't 6 year olds supposed to behave, I thought they were old enough to know better.

The funny part of dinner was that it was her mom's birthday and the 6 year old was opening all the presents and then thinking that it was HER birthday...God I hate kids..

One of the things that NOBODY knows about me is that I managed a Burger King for a year back in 1983 in Greensboro, North Carolina. I file it under the "What Would You Do to Survive?" category.

It was the year that "Return of the Jedi" came out, and Burger King was one of the big sponsors. As part of our promotional, they sent us posters advertising "Revenge of the Jedi," which was going to be the title until the studio changed it prior to release. If I'd had any sense, I would have kept one of those now highly valuable posters.

Also, that was the year that a little toddler named Sarah Michelle Gellar was the Burger King "spokesperson" in a series of ads that insulted McDonald's.

I started in the 4th quarter of 1983, in North Dartmouth, Massachusetts, as one of the original crew. It was kinda neat. I did it as a college student, for gas and food money.

Generally, I worked the closing shift in the drive thru window. It's amusing to look back on.

*adopts Jim Carrey voice*

"Back off lady - this is between me and the kid." :D

When I went to resaurants with my parents as a kid, I used to have to tell my parents to be quiet and sit still. :P

Agreed.

Let us not forget the babys in the movie theatre.

I swear someone brought a newborn into the matrix: reloaded....
I also recall a freshly spawned child screaming bloody murder during SAVING PRIVATE RYON!! WTF brings a baby into that kind of movie!

My wife is an ex-elementary school teacher she usually gives the monsters her teacher voice and they shape up. We go to a lot of restaurant that serve liquor cause there seems to be less kids.

undisciplined. you said it. its completely up to the parents.

I literally lured some drunk asshole outside of a restaurant once. He was smart enough not to egg me on, otherwise the large rock nearby would have met his head at high speed. Seriously. The parents were tipsy, and the kids were pratically in our laps.

its completely up to the parents.

I share your pain. Once while being seated at a family type restaurant, I was asked, "smoking or non-smoking?" I replied that I didn't care, however, just don't seat me anywhere near any children, as I enjoy eating my meal in peace. Man, you should have seen the scornful eyes of several of the motherly types standing nearby. Worked like a charm though. These days, I only go to restaurants that accept reservations and are moderate to expensive in cost. For maybe $20-30 more in cost, I completely avoid the whole issue. Well worth the peace of mind.

Another stategy is to eat cusine like Lebanese, (hot) Indian, Thai or Japanese, stuff that the little tards are never going to want to eat.

Just make sure they don't have some sneaky "kid's menu.