ladies of the night...
 

Sporatically over the past year and a bit, I've found myself posting here from time to time when something worth while crosses my life. Some people find the posts amusing, others, find it hard to believe.

This quarter's story is as follows.

Was out of town on business for almost two weeks. I'm in a happily commited relationship. The hotel was situated near some 'ladies of the night'. After driving around a few times, I figured, eh, live once. Never tried. Let's give it a shot. Circled for a bit, found a bank machine, went back around and within a few moments had myself a new friend.

"hi baby. want some company? $100. got the cash?"
- "yeah sure, hop in. where to? my hotel? "
"um, no. there's a spot around the corner. we'll stay in the car."
- "oh. i see. " -- now right away i'm thinking wtf. but sure whatever

Drive around for a little bit, miss her "spot" so have to circle the block again. She proceeds to point out her "man" who's the very very big well built black man with a lot of jewellery and chains, driving an SUV which could easily drive over my car, and looks quite menacing and angry...find the spot, park the car. she asks for the money. asks if it's my first time. i give her the money, miscounting and only giving 80 rather then 100 (apparently the education level these days isn't as high as it used to be) and say "yes, this is my first time..."

"ok honey, drop your pants and get yourself hard. here's a condom, put it on."
- "um, what? who's paying who here? "

so about fifteen minutes elapses with me under some serious pressure having this woman asking me why i can't get it hard while at the same time every few moments saying "oh shit. is that a cop? ... oh no, it isn't...heh. silly me"

finally she decides to take charge. we start getting a little movement and i'm starting to relax.

"hey honey. you have the smallest dick i've ever seen in my life."

well, obviously at this point in my life i'm wondering who i've wronged to be sitting in a car having paid for this. heh.

another two minutes elapses, she turns to me and says "well, times up. i have to go...."
- "well, do i get some sort of refund?"
"oh i'm sorry, no refunds..."

she got out of the car and walked away....so initially i felt bad. i realized i should never have been there in the first place. serves me right. a few interesting thoughts came out of this little experience.

directly afterwards i was very very angry. i'm sure something could have kicked in from a rage point of view where i would have done something stupid. i could have. felt very very angry. suppose, that's what makes me different from homicidal maniacs. went things snapped, i still had a concious.

ahh well, there's my little story. tis a true one unless you know me, in which i'll need to deny everything because well, it wasn't me, can't proove it, was never there, etc ; )

Interesting story, I would have been worried about many things in that kind of situation.
Cops, robbed, STDs, I would not pick a girl up off the street..

You may have been lucky you did not lose your temper.
It may have been a setup. You might have received a beating from the pimp.

Nice story and thanks for being brave enough to share it.

Next time buy the magazine and go back to your room with Rosy Palm ... the girlfriend you know is always ready. You should feel lucky you didn't get popped for solicitation which is really one of the better bad things that could have happened to you.

Sort of the lesser of two or three dozen evils?

I've never understood being willing to pay for a pro. For a hundred bucks, I think most of know a woman that will give it up on the first date.

$100 bucks?? I was watching Cops last night and they were busting women for prostitution and guys for soliciting sex. These women were asking $30 for sex and $10 extra for oral. Some of the younger ones were asking $60. You are very lucky you didn't get arrested. I don't know how well your partner in your committed relationship would have liked to receive that phone call.

Ugh, and guys wonder why women are so distrusting. :rollseyes:

And for some reason, I don't believe you when you say you're in a 'happily committed relationship.'

If your happily commited partner finds out...was it worth it? Probably not...be faithful buddy.

Asta!!

Seems to me you've been rolled.

some interesting comments. especially the ones with morale undertones. folks, life is about living. if you're ever curious about something and you never try it, how will you ever know?

i'm sure that question alone would open up a pandora's box here. you've all done something stupid i'm sure in your past. probably because you were curious. you know what, it's not that bad. you are living life...trying things.

i got what was coming to me, so no big deal. i'm all the wiser now. shit happens, and 100$ wasn't that bad. could have been much worse : )

I agree, You only live once. as the saying goes "Try things, get dirty, make mistakes" it's how you learn things in life.

And just for the record. I know more then one lady of the night. even paid for a couple. But none of them where that bad. But that may be because I knew them before hand.

But there are some valid points there. STDs, mugging, arrested, and loseing your partner. But danger is the spice of life. and if something bad does come for it. I would have to refer to another old saying "If you wanna dance, your going to have to pay the piper" But at least you danced.

I'm just saying, if you're in a happily committed relationship, you wouldnt even WANT to cheat, because there are NO pros to doing it.

your assumption about mine, and your interpretation of a commited relationship obviously isn't what mine is. take note of the year and how people can be open ... relationships can exist on many different levels so long as there is full disclosure and understanding between the two parties. no worries : )

this wasn't cheating. it was a social study. i can say that it's a shit thing to do based on my experience. not based on what a bunch of people have suggested to me in an online forum : )

do you live life based on what's suggested on here, or by what you've experienced. that's all...

It was a social study eh? haha yer right I remember when I went over that part in my social studies classes in middle school.

Asta!!

I hope the results of your social study satisfy you, because you have to live with them.

i found the results amusing at best. when's the last time you were with a guy and told him his dick was small? was it amusing? ; )

I would never tell a man that to his face. Besides I could care less about the size of a penis, I prefer a large brain.

*quickly measures brain*
Abby Normal.
Is that a size? :o

No, I just know that based on what MANY people have had happen to them when going out with whores, I think it's obvious it's a pretty shitty thing to do. And yeah, in these times, relationships are open, but that doesn't mean its right. We also have like a 50% divorce rate now.

You learned something. In my personal opinion, sex you have to pay for isn't worth anything. Put another way, it's a shame some peoples' lives are so screwed up that they have to make a living selling their bodies on the street; but the question is, why would anyone want to have sex with somebody who's so screwed up and probably by now has an extremely low opinion of men in general? You put her in control, and you saw what happened.

As for the cheat/no cheat thing; that's your business. I admire openness, in relationships and otherwise. But in the spirit of openness, do not fail to share your experience with your partner and explain your motivation.

I don't see how anyone in a committed relationship could hide something like this from their SO. I might be able to hide it for about 15 seconds before I broke down.

how many times have you paid for it? in the end i paid for a few insults and a good story...

Hell. Those can both be had for free.

Except for the one he was paying. SHWING!

Your rhetorical device of choice seems to be, "If you haven't done it, how can you be a judge of it?" Well, I know what works for me. And being with someone who is emotionally absent is a real turnoff. You don't have to pay to know that. After a while, you ask yourself, "What the hell am I doing here?"

And of course, there still remains the issue about being totally open with your significant other about this. If you're not, it's not an "open relationship." You sound like you're very much on your own, not part of a couple.

I'm shocked that so many people are hating on squigly for sharing how bad his experience with a prostitute was. Which just reminds me how great this place is; flames are pretty rare. Usually people here take the time to understand where someone is coming from. If anything, we then try to help them get where they're going.

Prostitutes don't appeal to me though. This story is an example of the problems. I believe you become like the people you have sex with. Prostitutes have to be hard-hearted, slow to connect emotionally with others. Besides, I only really enjoy sex when I have strong feelings for someone. At least respect and trust.

He actually never said he was hiding it. That's an assumption that we all made--myself included, until I noticed it while reading your post.

Again, props for the honesty and I'm going to buid on something said earlier. If you're on business in a strange place where you want to get your jollies there are a lot of better ways to do it. I can tell from the original post you probably won't be partaking in this sort of thing again. Just go down to the hotel bar and meet somebody else on a solo vacation or business trip. Spend half that on the bar tab and a rubber and you have the makings of a much more successful and enjoyable fling ;)

Hmmm. I guess you were doing it for a study, (or so you say) but if you wanted to fool around in a much safer atmosphere you probably could have gone to a club or something and picked up someone. Sure, it's a little more effort, but it's cheaper, and probably 100% safer. I would never do what you did. You're pretty ballsy, I'll give you that. But I wouldn't want any of the consequences that could or did arise out of that situation.

I'll never completely understand why so many people have such issues with prostitution.

I don't see anything wrong with someone paying for sex... There are plenty of independently minded women out there that offer sex for sale.

It certainly pays a lot better than some of the work available.

Not to mention the cliche about all men basically paying for sex, with the food and gifts, and so on...

I understand that people have varying ideas of sex and intamacy, but given what I am used to seeing on this board I am suprised at how many people are ripping on squigly for what he did. Was it possibly dangerous? Yes. Is it something I would have the nerves to do? No. I appreciate Squigly posting about his experience for our knowledge though.

Furthermore, I am suprised to hear people speaking of his morality... I think there are quite a few residents here that have open or "non-traditional" relationships. to rip on him for "moral" reasons seems pretty odd to me given how open and respectful I thought people on this board were.

la petite moi, i see from your profile that you are about 18 yrs old... how can you possibly feel you have a broad enough experience bank to flame this guy? im sorry if i singled you out, there are other offenders as well, i just felt your comments where a little too strong given the very limited experience pool on which you are basing them...

I don't really see where anyone is actually flaming. The original poster made some comments that people are discussing. And that discussion is likely far more informative than people just replying with "Whoa Dude! Was the hooker hot?". Just because someone does not agree with someone, that doesn't mean it is a flame.

Word. Go for the more up scale ones in certain strip clubs rather than the ones on a street.

I know that this is not directed at me, but, I know la petite to be very intelligent for her age. She is an outstanding member and very well spoken at that. She is not flaming him, she is pointing out his odvious mistake.

And also I think you don't know enough about any of her experiences to come to the conclusion that YOU have.

Never assume anything.

Apparently he feels the need to hide it from someone :hmm: :p

Asta!!

Nikki: To you it's an obvious mistake, to him it was trying something out. Which didn't end well, but he learned something new.

If others like Rodney say: well, I know what works for me... Props to you. How about letting others decide for themselves what works for them?

I do agree it wasn't the safest thing to try tho...

A certain amount of intuition allows you to weigh these kinds of experiences and judge whether they are things you would enjoy without having to try them. In my opinion. I've got no desire to pay for sex. At all. And I didn't have to blow 100 of my hard-earned (and it is hard-earned) pounds on some disconnected bundle of bone and sinew - who is thinking about her next roll even as she 'services' me - to find that out. Without emotion, without passion, it might as well be your right hand. Otherwise it's a muscle and a hole.

Anyone who picks up a random prostitute on the street and gets screwed deserves it. While this is a great story for someone else, ie. "You wouldn't believe what I read about someone just doing...", I don't see how its a great story for you.I'd be embarassed if I paid for a prostitute, couldn't get it up, and she told me my dick was small.

But hey, thats just me.

Even if I wasn't committed with my wife, I would be scared I'd get busted and end up on tv or something..

{Theme song starts in the background}
Bad boys bad boys
Watcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do
when they come for you ....

Anyway, I just watched Cops HoHoHo's, much to my wife's protest and this is exactly the kind of thing on there. Very funny stuff.

Dude, you got scammed.

The average price for a street bj is $20. Sex is $40-$50. You shouldn't have to get yourself hard. She should take care of you from the start, and she puts the condom on (usually with her mouth).

She shouldn't be able to insult you since her mouth should be full as soon as you park the car.

Also, never negotiate before she gets in the car. Have her get in the car and then talk. Ask her to show you something a cop wouldn't show you. If she opens her shirt there is a good chance she's not a cop. If she refuses to get in the car, or won't play the game before you say what you want then it's a cop. Pretend you were just going to give her a ride and drop her off ASAP.

Nikki, while I wouldn't necessarily use the word "flame", I think what Nowthen was getting at is that, for one, this story wasn't posted to discuss morality, ethics, the divorce rate, etc. It was a story, and I agree that there is a certain section of users that are in the pre-college grad. world, where it is much easier to apply a bright line test to relationships and the way in which we as humans react with one another. If this had been posted in sexuality to discuss the implications of his actions, then fine, he opened himself up for it. But he didn't, he chose this forum, and for that reason, I would consider it a flame when someone start calling him out on his actions in such a way.

Christ, what is the easiest way to start a flame war in here? Mention cheating. Dear god so much time and effort has been spent on that subject it is unbelieveable. Invariably, the ones who adopt the ethos "once a cheater always a cheater" usually have as their most vocal supporters those of us in here who still haven't stepped out of college yet and been hammered by the real world.

Anyway, sorry for the rant, but pulling out the "cheating card" pissed me off.

the irony of that statement when compared to your signature is rich...thanks for the laughs!! :)

for the record, I personally would never go to a prostitute. I prefer my parts to be disease free, besides if you're in a relationship that means anything then in my eyes it's wrong. But I won't enforce my moral code on someone else, ever. Everyone makes choices, as long as it doesn't affect me, have fun, do what you want.

I can relate to Squigly.

Once when between girlfriends, I tried out a "massage parlour". Here in Canada, prostitution is legal, but street solicitation and running a brothel is not. Massage parlour are illegal, but tolerated. Escorts (call girls) are legal. The cops make a show of busting massage parlours once in awhile and they get fined. It's part of the business.

At least, in a massage parlour, you are comfortable. You have your shower. The girl comes and rubs you a little and gets naked, etc. The prices are more than $100 because you pay for the use of the room and then pay the girl for her services seperately.

It's much better. No pimps, no cops! It can be as erotic as the better girls can make it.

Of course, if you haven't had sex for awhile, you may not get it up, or you may cum too fast. This is normal and at least the girl tried her best and you got to feel her up.

It's more satisfying than spending $500 at the stripbar!

Wow, man that is an interesting story. I never would have put myself in that situation. There was too much stuf that could've gone wrong. You might be lucky that you had stage fright. Diseases are scary these days.

If people don't know the difference between flaming and expressing one's opinions, they shouldn't be posting. My .02

Now, on to paying for sex. Thanks for sharing your story. I do agree that if you are in a happily committed relationship, then socially experimenting by paying for prostitution is counterproductive to that happy relationship. If it works for you, great! I still think it is pretty nasty. As some have said, you got what was coming to you. Couldn't get it up, small dick comment, $100 wasted, etc......

Out of curiosity, does your partner know? Is this something you discussed with her?

Also, why couldn't you just role play? Have your partner dress up like a whore and fuck your brains out. You can even pay her.

My signature is something my mom said, and something I was high offended by. It's weird to compare guys to ice cream.

thanks man. thats pretty much exactly what i was getting, just i hadnt quite decided how to respond to nikki jumping in on the defence. a far as i can see, this thread was never about cheating. and i sincerely hope la petite moi can maintain her high moral standpoint, i really do... its just... give it another 10 years of the general shit and temptation that life throws at you, and it might be a different story.

*shrugs* what do i know though.

So are you saying that cheating is OK? Is it cool if somebody you love cheats on you? I don't understand.

Anytime you start a discussion it can take many different directions.

There is no way to determine which way a conversation will go.

I know a flame when I see one and what she said was not even close. I hope that people realize when they bring up sensitive topics such as this one, they are open themselves up to many different viewpoints.

Provided that he supplied us with the information that he was indeed in a commited relationship, certainly DOES make this thread about cheating.

I know, but it does stand a bit in contrast with what you said, kind of made me chuckle, that's all.

how do you manage to have such a black and white, right and wrong life? mine always seems to be shades of grey.

I wouldn't say that my life is black and white. I just try to treat other people in the same manner that I would like to be treated. I sure as hell know that I would not like my significant other to have sex with somebody behind my back, money exchanged or not.

You seem to want forgiveness, but how quick are you to offer forgiveness?

Yeah, my mom and I contrast a lot. She's bizarre.

Okay, just because I'm 18 doesn't make me an idiot. I have seen what people can do to each other when they have affaires/liasons/ etc. WHAT ARE THE PROS OF IT? If you're in a committed relationship, that means you COMMIT yourself to someone. That means you don't go off and say "Well since I'm tempted..." and then pay 100$ for a slut off the street.

I have been in a relationship for a year and 7 months- yeah yeah, not ten years. I have just gotten engaged, and I do not see myself EVER saying I would be tempted to cheat on my husband-to-be. I am in a committed relationship.

From the very beginning, this thread was about cheating- he talks about how he's in a committed relationship, and yet, he feels the temptation to go out and get some over-priced 'lady of the night' because he wants to experience it. When you have someone at home that is better than some whore, isn't that pretty offending to your loved one that you'd want sex with another person? I'm sure I'd be pretty damn offended.

Captain Nemo, this is posted in a forum. A FORUM. Forums are used to debate things, talk about them. What else did he want us to post when he wrote a thread in a forum where there are hundreds of people with different views on things?

I'm not flaming anyone- I am simply stating my point of view. Now that I've been attacked and told that because I'm young I don't know what I'm talking about (Captain Nemo), I'm mad.

Man, I thought what I said was pretty bad, but I don't even get accused once of flaming! I'm dissapointed...

You know what I heard? Squigly can't have an orgasm unless he kills a dog!

PS. Kudos if you get the reference...

"Captain Nemo, this is posted in a forum. A FORUM. Forums are used to debate things, talk about them. What else did he want us to post when he wrote a thread in a forum where there are hundreds of people with different views on things?"

la petite moi, thank you for explaining the concept of a forum. I agree that this is about discussion, my only point here was that the discussion shifted to cheating and that wasn't the point of the original post. Once "cheating" hit the radar screen, then off we go on a diatribe about how his significant other feels in this situation.

I applaud you on your views and the morality you display (really, I'm not being sarcastic) and I wish you well on your engagement. I just hate seeing people start calling out people on side issues that had nothing to do with the post in the first place.

I have been out in this world for over 40 years, and the theoretical black and white issue of morality is awfully gray, at least in my part of the world.

And cheating comes in many forms and flavors, alot of which have nothing to do with sex and people outside of the marriage. Personal example; I got married the first time when I was 21 and still in college (big mistake, at least for me). One of the fundamental basics in our commitment to each other was that I was going to immediately role out of my undergrad. program and attend graduate school in Tampa (1 of a handful of schools offering the degree I wanted). My fiance knew this, and agreed with it. Well, 6 months after getting married she informed me that not only could she not move to Florida, but she wanted to move closer back to her home town to be closer to her mother. Did she cheat on me?

I would say yes, she broke a fundamental ground rule that we agreed upon before getting married. Did I carry resentment because of it? Yep, I sure did. Now, she never cheated on me by having a relationship outside of the marriage, but her views tended to be the ones that were acted upon. Should I have dissolved the union earlier? Hell yes, but then kids came along and further complicated matters.

My only point to all of this rambling, is that cheating has many flavors, and I personally felt that the thread skewed off the purpose of the poster's original intent, which was to tell us a story, not to ask if what he did was morally wrong.

Oh, and one other thing, I am not going to tell you that you are to young to get married, but let me offer you a small piece of advice. Talk through the major life events that you will experience with you fiance. For example, right now, having kids is probably the farthest thing on your mind. But make sure that the two of you are in complete agreement with what you expect in the future. Kids can complicate things tremendously. Think baptism. If you two are of different faiths, this can complicate things in the future. Even if you are not active church attendees currently, once those kids are there, religion will rear its' head.

Anyway, off to battle corporate fires