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#1 (permalink) |
Loser
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Wouldnt it be alot easier if...
...W just came out and said the following?
QUESTION: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO TURN ON THE TV AND > HEAR GEORGE W. BUSH GIVE > THE FOLLOWING SPEECH? > > > My Fellow Americans: > As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been > completed. Since > congress does not want to spend any more money on > this war, our mission in > Iraq is complete. > > > This morning I gave the order for a complete removal > of all American forces > from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 > days. It is now to begin > the reckoning. > > Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the > names of countries which > have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. > This list is short. The > United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and > Poland are some of the > countries listed there. > > The other list contains everyone not on the first > list. Most of the worlds > nations are on that list. My press secretary will be > distributing copies of > both lists later this evening. > > Let me start by saying that effective immediately, > foreign aid to those > nations on List 2 ceases immediately and > indefinitely. The money saved > during the first year alone will pretty much pay for > the costs of the Iraqi > war. > > The American people are no longer going to pour > money into third world > Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow > fat on corruption. > > Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? > Call France. > > In the future, together with Congress, I will work > to redirect this money > toward solving the vexing social problems we still > have at home. > On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. > Screw with us and we will > hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends > from the face of the > earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? > Try France, or maybe > China. > > To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. > Work out a peace deal > now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all > of you can go to Russia > for negotiations. They have some great palaces > there. Big tables, too. > > > > > I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic > relations with France, > Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, > comrades. We are retiring > from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis. > I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to > begin towing the many UN > diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more > than two unpaid parking > tickets to sites where those vehicles will be > stripped, shredded and > crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains > to this. You c! reeps > have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those > tickets tomorrow or > watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be > turned over to some of the > finest chop shops in the world. I love New York. > > A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List > 2. Since we are likely to > be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might > want to try not xxxxxxx > us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. > President Fox and his entire > corrupt government really need an attitude > adjustment. I will have a couple > extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. > Guess where I am going to > put em? Yep, border security. > So start doing something with your oil. > Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the > NAFTA treaty --- sta > rting now. > > We are tired of the one-way highway. > > It is time for America to focus on its own welfare > and its own citizens. > Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them > be saying, "darn tootin." > > Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a > decent life around the world > has only earned us the undying enmity of just about > everyone on the planet. > It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is > time to eliminate > homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate > World Cup Soccer from > America. > > > To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks > guys. We owe you and we > won't forget. > > To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop > dead. > > God bless America. And God bless List 1. > Thank you and good night. |
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#4 (permalink) |
<Insert wise statement here>
Location: Hell if I know
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yeah it sounds great and would probably be really funny to watch Bush try make an entire speech using complete sentences, But I still have to say that that would be a pretty bad idea. While America does have the power to take on any single country in the world, if the rest of the world united against us we wouldn't last 5 years.
Oh, and buy the way, America doesn't have have the resource to cut itself off from the rest of the world, and compared to homelessness and hunger in the rest of the world, America is a fucking utopia that wastes enough food and resources on frivoulous persuits to feed and house most of the hungry third world nations.
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Apathy: The best outlook this side of I don't give a damn. |
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#5 (permalink) |
Baltimoron
Location: Beeeeeautiful Bel Air, MD
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Except for the very first part, I would be ecstatic.
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"Final thought: I just rented Michael Moore's Bowling for Columbine. Frankly, it was the worst sports movie I've ever seen." --Peter Schmuck, The (Baltimore) Sun |
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#6 (permalink) |
My future is coming on
Moderator Emeritus
Location: east of the sun and west of the moon
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Sheer arrogance. Which would be unsurprising coming from this country, particularly this administration.
Waaaaaaah, we threw a war and all the popular kids stayed home!!! I'm taking my marbles and leaving. Pththtbt!
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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." - Anatole France Last edited by lurkette; 09-08-2004 at 11:12 AM.. |
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#7 (permalink) | |
Insane
Location: Learning to Fly...
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Quote:
..... I <3 you, lurkette. We'd also scribble out the marble circle with our foot, tho ![]() |
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#8 (permalink) |
Junkie
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This is beyond silly. Interesting and thought provoking though it may be bigole.
I don't know where to start in debunking the whole basis of this hypothetical list. Suffice it to say that America would fall apart in a couple of weeks without the rest of the world. Of course, the world would be a worse place in many ways without American engagement too, so I'm not just knocking the US. Let me put it in ways that the "red neck, Euro-haters" can understand. The American economy would collapse. You would lose your job. You could not pay your mortgage. You could not buy beer, bullets or big trucks. You would lose your house. You are stupid. :-) Heh... but seriously. If anyone honestly believes this kind of thing "would be great" or is a realistic possibility, please post reasons to support your assertion. The world needs America but America needs the world. Mr Mephisto |
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#9 (permalink) |
follower of the child's crusade?
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a trade war with a combined trading bloc stretching from Greenland to Korea would be a disaster for America... introverted and isolated, America would stagnate and ultimately collapse like the Soviet Union. The speech you are advocating would mean in effect the destruction of the United States as a nation state, in an international economy no country can go alone, no country can shut out the outside world... American assets would immediately be confiscated across the world, America would effectedly be contained only within its own borders... as the US cannot produce enough oil to match its consumption this would be especially disasterous.
America is a powerful economy and the most powerful military force in the world, but the world can and would survive without the involvment of any nation, the strongest of the weakest... and you will not be able to eradicate terrorism when no neutral country will allow the passge of American armed forces... there would be poverty, famine, soicial and industrial stagnation, growing unrest, growing autocracy from the state to try and control the citizenship... In short, I cannot see anyone who would be happy with such a speech other than the most vicious haters of America and the west, people like Bin Laden...
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"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate, for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain without being uncovered." The Gospel of Thomas |
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#10 (permalink) |
Slave of Fear
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I can agree with parts of the message. I think we are spending too much money trying to buy Friends, so I am all for pulling the Foreign aid and spending the money at home. The idea that we should have nothing to do with those Countries that don't agree what our government decided to do (note I did not say the U.S.) in Iraq is ludicrous. Our actions are never going to please all of the rest of this planets population. They have every right to decide what is best for their country. I do not subscribe to the theory you are either with us or against us.
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alot, easier |
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