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What's the wierdest way you've been injured?
Last night, I hurt my thumb squeezing lemon into my tea. I think I hyper-extended it.
I was squeezing the lemon slice and it slipped/shot out of my hand. My thumb shot right up in there between my first finger and my bird finger, and it has hurt like hell since. |
Age 1.5
running into a shopping cart getting a butterfly bandage on my head Age 10 running into a parked car and getting 5 stitches. Age 13 running into a window pain getting 4 stitches. Age 15 jumping off a staircase, falling and getting hairline fracture in my skull Age 34 closing the car door and hitting my head on the door. 4 stitches. what's so priceless about that? Nothing.. just stupid. |
When I was 5 years old, I was kneeling on a chair at the kitchen table. I tried to push away from the table, but the chair didn't move. Instead, I slid back, cacthing my big toe nail on the upholstery seam, ripping it clean off. Ouch!
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I was under the influence in a dark corner in a pool at a small party. My girlfriend starts pulling off my trunks. I go, "yeah...".
She throws them over the pool fence. I run out of the pool, covering my privates with my hands. People laugh at me. Suddenly, running and turning the corner around the fence, I slip, my right leg flies up, and my small toe breaks against the corner of the house. I jump up and down, naked, holding my broken toe, roaring. People laughed even more. My girlfriend included. |
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Last weekend I was helping rip the flooring out of a farmhouse. My freind and I got bored of using tools and the wood was fairly rotted, so we decided to go all ninja on these floorboards.
Stupid. I put my hand through a board and severly ripped up my forearm. I'm an idiot. |
Back in the mid-80's, I was running the light board for a community theatre production. Towards the end of the show, one of the characters went backstage and shot himself.
We were using a starter pistol, since the gun had to be seen before he went off. A few performances in, the cylinder pin fell out, and couldn't be found. We tried using a big nail, but it didn't line the cylinder up quite right(one night the audience was treated to a series of clicks and a muffled "Dammit!" before it fired). So I had me a brilliant idea: put a cap on a stage weight, and hit it with a hammer at the appropriate time. On my second test hit, something stung my index finger. Looked, and there was the flattened cap, sticking out from under the skin of the first knuckle. About half in and half out, actually. It wasn't that bad a wound at all, but the circumstances make it rather amusing. Still have a little bit of a scar. Luckily for the rest of my fingers, we found the cylinder pin the next day.... |
Big Julie, I've done a LOT of community theatre work, and I'm dying laughing at your post.
Two years ago, I directed "The Haunting of Hill House," which calls for tons and tons of backstage knocks and slamming sounds. My poor crew looked like bombed refugees by the end of our run because they hit each other almost as much as they hit the sound-effects stuff we built. |
big julie: yuck.
one summer night in college, i felt hot in bed so i rolled down to cool off on the floor. i forgot that i was in a bunk bed. and that there was a metal fan below. i still have a fat scar. |
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Working on a set some years ago, I was cutting one foot square pieces of luan on a small table saw. Didn't have the blade guard dohickey on, because they just get in the way, you know. The luan was a little damp, and one of the pieces kicked back, and bounced off my inner thigh, off into a corner a good twenty feet away. If it had hit me a couple inches more to the right, I'd have been in a big world of hurtin'.... Got quite the colorful bruise as it was. |
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Once, during a rehearsal for another show, I was sitting in a folding chair at the back edge of the stage, waiting for my cue. One of the back legs slid off the stage, and I performed at least a 10-second Flying Wallenda balancing act on three legs of a falling folding chair (arms waving madly) before the chair and I finally went over backwards off the stage. I had recently broken my hand prior to that incident, so everyone came rushing up to see if I was okay. They found me lying on my back and laughing uncontrollably. The only person (literally) who did not run to my aid was my wife. She told everybody afterwards that she was confident my head was hard enough to take the hit. |
I once had a race with one of my neighbors.. I bet him that my bike was faster than his roller blades (and he was like.. 5 years older) well, I won the race, but I crashed straight into the back of my neighbor's parked corvette. I ended up on the back windshield. Hurt like hell, and I was pretty embarassed, but I won the fucking race.
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Steamroller rolled over my foot. Sucked large. Coulda been worse.
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flipped a golf cart and ended up with an open compund fracture of the tib/fib
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When I was about 12 or 13, me and some friends went on a camping trip, just far enough away from home to make it exciting. The deal was that the guys have one tent, the girls another... of course, as soon as it gets dark, us guys head across to the girls tent to start freaking them out... unfortunately they were ready for us and came out their tent brandishing various weapons (pots and pans, sticks, REAL scary stuff!) and chased us across the "open" field.
I say "open", because unbeknown to me, there was a single thin gauge wire across the field, at about thigh height, as some kind of divider. As a pretty good runner, I hit that thing at full pelt a little before the other guys, all they saw was me suddenly turn end over end in front of them. Damn wire didnt even cut my jeans, but I hit it with enough force that it cut both my thigh muscles like a cheese wire. Yes it hurt. |
Fell down the stairs once and sliced my pinky open on the side of a metal shoe rack. Flesh and bone exposed. Otherwise I was fine. My pinly hurt like a motherfuck though.
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Once in about fourth grade I think I was standing in the hallway having an argument with my sister. Finally, I got really mad and turned to walk away - straight into the wall where my forehead hit the light-switch. It gauged out a nice chunk of skin in the shape of a half moon. I think I had a scar for a few years, but its seems to have gone away. :p Other than that, I've had my share of sports injuries, but nothing unusual.
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I lost a good junk of my nose to a dachshund. I am abt 6'3" and the dog stood just over a foot high. People still don't believe me when I tell them what happened.
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1.) Age 9 -- Fell down the stairs blindfolded...trying to get insight into a character in a book...broke my arm, chipped my tooth, and required stiches in my head.
2) Age 10 -- Accidentally stuck a screwdriver in my eye as I was prying open a locker in my room. Now blind in said eye, but in hindsight (no pun intended), it has had some very positive impacts on my life. 3) Age 20 -- All in one collegiate track meet at MIT....broke a pole mid-vault and got a killer bruise across my a**......and impaled myself on my own javelin (no stitches, but a nice puncture wound to the left of my groin). I did score a bunch of points, though. |
freshman year of high school i was playing softball in gym, with one of those big rubber softballs that you could squeeze a bit. none of us had gloves. i was playing first and someone hit a hard bouncer towards me, i stuck out my right hand to catch it, i misread it, it hit my thumb and broke clean through. played a full game of football on it that night for my high school team as offensive and defensive lineman.
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i pulled a muscle in my back quite badly just laying in bed....ON MY OWN......people got very suspicious on that one...
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My earliest memory is one of getting injured. The injury itself isn't so weird, but it's unique because I was two years old at the time (that's right, two) and remember everything quite vividly. I got my head split open for being terrified of "The Outer Limits."
Our family was watching TV in our family den, and my two-year old perception of "The Outer Limits" episode we were watching was that the night's featured hideous creature had the ability to crawl through the TV screen and into people's homes. That was enough for me, and I tried to run into our kitchen. We had one of those restaurant-style swinging kitchen doors and my 12-year old big sister came out of the kitchen at the same instant I tried to go in. Since she couldn't see me coming and she outweighed me by ten years, she easily won the battle of the swinging kitchen door. Although I was running forward, the back of my head was the first thing to hit the floor (never a good sign). I remember screaming and I remember being lifted by my father and loaded into the car, still screaming. I remember being carried into the doctor's home (1962 was a looong time ago) and being put into the reclining chair in his den. He sewed up the back of my head (eight stitches) from that chair, and I screamed the whole time. |
sometime when i was still in elementary school, some friends and i were on the swings, having a contest to see who could jump the farthest. there i was, swinging with all my might to get the most momentum possible. once at that magical point and height, i got ready: this was going to be the big one. this is, of course, all happening in ultra slow motion, and just about halfway through my glorious arc off the swing, i get yanked back to the ground. i'm stunned. once the shock wore off, it turns out my pinky finger was stuck in the chain the whole time.
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When I was about 11 I stepped on a tooth pick getting it stuck in my foot. It hurt like hell and required a tetnus shot. It was pretty cool though...
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I was waiting in line to buy spaghetti ingredients with one of my friends last summer. He dropped a large can of crushed tomatoes on my big toe (I had sandals on). The rim of the can split the toenail completely in two lengthwise and split my toe itself down to the bone. It was nasty.
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Quite a few years ago there was a small dump with millions of glass bottles. A friend and I were Taking the bottles and busting them. I found 2 RC bottles that were still under alot of pressure, and I crashed them together while holding them. It made a 2-3 inch wound on the back of my palm. Odd thing about it is that I didn't even feel it.
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3 years old, walking down a hallway into the kitchen and then stepped on a opened tuna fish can. Not sure how many stitches but I have a crescent shaped scar about 3 inches long on the sole of my foot.
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warrrreagl, I'm glad you found it funny.
After my toe healed up, I thought it was hilarious too. :) |
I had just got out of the shower and had the radio turned up pretty loud. So I'm toweling off and dancing at the same time.
Now I'm a tall white boy with rhythm but no dancing skills and sure enough I hit a puddle of water on the linoleum and spread eagle it. Luckily I didn't pull a groin, but I did tear some stuff in my left knee. Needless to say all the doctors had a field day with this in the emergency room. |
At a high school basketball game, in an old gym with ancient wooden bleachers, I was sliding down the bleachers with one hand on the top row and one hand on the row below. I was sort of nudging myself along quickly with a forward motion of my legs in unison alternating with arm strokes - if you can imagine this.
Well, I caught my leg on a splinter which stuck through my pants into my leg. It felt a little numb but it was concealed under the pants material. My leg kept getting number, so I went into the locker room to see what was up with it. I lowered my pants and saw that an 8 inch by 1.5 inch piece of spike-shaped wood about 3/4 of an inch think had entered my leg in the front and was poking out the back. My leg was skewered on the spike. As soon as I looked at it, it hurt like holy hell! I yelled for help and was taken to my doctor's office where he removed it with local anaesthetic and some dissecting tools and his hands. I went back for months to get excess wood splinter pieces removed in the same way. I still have no feeling in that part of my leg and I have two scars at the entry and exit point. |
it is quite funny that some injures dont hurt until you look. as a kid i smashed my thumb with a hammer (don't ask) and actually i thought it was quite funny until I saw the bloody thumb
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When I was 6 I was riding my bike and racing my neighbor friend. I turned to see how far ahead I was and ran smack into a telephone pole. I don't actually remember anything after looking back but considering witness reports and where I was when my parents saw me I flew about 6 feet backwards off of my bike and hit my head on the curb. Cracked my skull and gave myself a concussion and black eye. The Black eye left a large red dot below my eye until I was 12.
Then when I was 19 I worked at a clothing manufacturer - Worst job ever I may say. Was sewing on an industrial machine and sewed right through my pointer fingernail on my right hand (I'm right handed too). I was moving fast so I nailed it 3 times before the needle broke in me. I pulled it out bandaged it up and went back to work. When I went home my parents insisted I go the the Dr. Surprisingly enough I still have my nail and you wouldn't know anything happened except the nail is a little concave. The thing bled like it was an artery and took over a year for the torn up part to grow out. Otherwise I haven't gotten anything serious though I've been tremedously stupid at times. I've just been real lucky. |
when i was nine years old my sister was 6 or so and i stole her jump rope and got on my bike and rode away i was going slow enough that she could keep up with me but not catch the rope then when i looked to see where i was going she jumped on top of the jump rope i was dragging. I had it rapped around my arm so it ripped me off my bike and face first i went to the concrete.
i just wanted to add that a lot of these have been happening on bikes. |
hmm...let me think...you pick
*Jump off slide (all 10 toes broken) *Fall 30 ft out of tree (sprained wrist) *Swinging on Horizontal ladder (dislocated elbow) *Lg branch piercing car window like javelin (scrape on face) *Falling 12 ft into empty concrete pool (bruised elbow) *Doing split practices on a special machine (slightly torn muscle) *Rejected while dunking in B-ball, while entangled, hit concrete (dislocated kneecap) *Puppy dog making my pour boiling hot gravy on me (3rd degree burn on bicep) *Other person misplaces foot under me while I was dancing (Dislocated ankle) and more... I've had an interesting medical background.;) |
A few months ago I tripped and spilled mashed potatoes I'd just taken off the stove right onto my foot. :D I was wearing sandals. MAN did that ever hurt! The scars are gonna be there for a while...
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peed against an electric fence once hurt like hell for days
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I sprained my big toe while running in a potato sack race. I didn't even win.
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On Wedensday I hurt my groin playing wheelchair basketball. The irony isnt lost on me.
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ran head-on into a 'friendly neighbor' fence and proceeded to break my nose =P
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Playing tennis last year, a friend of mine serve the ball lighty and some how it hit my testicals, it hurts like hell though, I couldn't even walk for 10 minute....
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I poked myself in the eye with needle nose pliers. Thankfully, I came out of that one with just a minor scrape. Could have been alot more serious. Thats what happens when 6 year old girls want to help their dads fix the car!
Just a couple years ago, I was drunkenly skateboarding .. trying to show off to some guys and I completely snapped my foot. I was so drunk I didn't notice until it swelled to the size of a football. Drinking + Skateboarding = Injuries for sure. |
Drinking plus sprinting down a hill = snapped femur. Don't do it.
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Dented my forehead after getting pushed by my older sister and falling up (?wtf?) stairs into a radiator when 2 years old. .
Lost the tip of my finger when I was 4 playing tag. I was chasing my sister, she closed the door on my hand, and locked it. Wouldn't open it for like 5 minutes. Crashed an old school (steel) sled into a tree when I was 6, got maybe 10 stitches in my forehead. Cut the cartilage in my ear after falling and catching it on a cupboard when I was trying to get down some cheerios. I had a girl's tooth embedded in my scalp when I was 7 when I fell on her in a bouncy castle. I got a gash about 4 inches long, 2-3 inches deep in my upper thigh trying to jump a bench when I was 9, all my friends were doing it, I tried but didn't. I could see all the way down to the bone. I walked/was carried about a 1/4 mile home and was like "Mom, I have a cut." Mild concussion when playing the most stupid game ever, Speedball, in gym class in high school. Some dude thought he was a ninja and flagrantly head butted me when I was going for the ball. I was told to walk it off. (I think it was mild, as all that happened was I was nauseous, and couldn't see straight for a few days, I still went to track practice that day though). |
-> my 'nastiest' one - slipped on a driveway and fell face first into gravel. A small rock with a sharp point completely embedded itself in my forehead, when it was pulled out you could see a perfect circle with numerous layers of flesh. There was no bleeding but a small portion of my skull was visible for some time afterward until it healed up and left a small scar on my forehead.
-> one that sticks in my head - I was sounding a fuel tank in a officer's head and there this was high pressure f*&(%ing steam valve with no lagging by the valve itself;that section must have been at least 400 degrees. I was well aware of its location and usually avoided it but this time my hand brushed against the exposed copper for literally 1/10 of a second. A blister was forming two minutes later. There were countless other steam burns but those were just small normal ones that happen when you crawl around in naaaasty bilges and work around steam systems. -> most annoying and lingering - hanging on the rim from a flat-footed jump, slipping off, and nearly breaking my right elbow (fortunately) from the approximate 7-8 foot fall and landing directly on my side. edit: just remembered the four stitches that I had in the top of my scalp after hitting my head on a large pipe in the forward elevator room. That was a bit bloody and real pain to shave around. |
When I was 8 I was into rockets. One day since I was impatient I took a rocket engine and fired it from my hand. It burned off all the skin on my pinky.
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When I was about eight or nine, my family was on a trip to Disneyland. One night my grandpa wanted to take us for a midnight swim in the pool of our hotel. I had this brillient idea that I would jump into the pool backwards, only I didn't jump far enough and hit my chin on the edge of the pool - had to have 12 stiches and still have a scar......*sigh*, the good ol' days. :D
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Electronics was my hobby in high school. I had a friend over one day. To prove I was a tough guy I challenged him to grab the barrel of a soldering iron.
He wouldn't. I did. I forgot that it was plugged in and got blisters all over the palm of my hand. I also thougt it was cool to hook resistors up to a power supply, crank the power supply up to 400 volts and watch the resistor smoke. That lasted until I grabbed the 400 volt lines with both hands. Somehow I managed to let go, but I had a lot more respect for high voltage after that. |
This past winter I was making gifts for some friends for Christmas. I was on a bit of a deadline, and since it was cold I put on some thin gloves as I used the tablesaw. Welp, I reached toward the blade to clear a piece of cut-off, and the tip of the glove got pulled into the blade, pulling my hand in with it. It took a nasty sized chunk out of the tip of my thumb. As seems to be the case, it didn't hurt until I pulled the glove off and looked at it. My initial thought actually was to be upset that I put a hole in my gloves...
Oh yeah, I also got bit on the leg by a crazy guy once. No stitches, but it took a small chunk out of my leg and it was swollen for a month. True story. |
Number - ooh - 37 in my list of wierd injuries happened on the rugby field at school. I was about 13, running ball-in-hand with all the skill and majesty of a young Euiaian Evans, when some jug-eared little thug tripped me. I sailed face-first into someone's knee, and my left incisor made an incision in my upper lip. I went straight to the bogs for a drink- not crying, no sir - and standing at the mirror I had the singular pleasure of watching rose-tinted water dribbling out of the hole in my cheek and down my chin. Happy days.
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When I was really little, 3 I think, I got loose on a softball diamond and got smacked upside the head with an aluminium bat.
Around the same age, I ran over my grandma with my mom's nova and banged my head up something fierce. My grandma was worse, though. I have a donut shaped scar on my thumb from a smoke bomb with a short fuse. That smoke is really hot! |
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Xrays showed nothing in my foot (the toothpick was lined up right against one of the bones in my foot. Went under the knife, and they found it. I still have the scar. |
*picks 3 random entries form file*
Tried installing joist hangers with a nailgun. Went real well until I missed the 1/8 inch hole the nail goes in. Now have a small scar next to my nose where the nail bounced off my face. Lit acutting torch for another guy in shop once (NEVER do that). He had the acetylene turned up way too high, and he jerked the torch across the back of one of my fingers when it lit. Nice little 3rd degree burn there. Hit my left middle finger with a sandblaster. Went right through the glove and took a divot the size of a nickel and about 1/8 inch deep out instantly. Had to stop and go get a band-aid on that one. :P |
Where do I start?
1) Worked as a crew member at Wendy's. They had old fryers with heating elements that you would pull out when cleaning the fryer. Several times I hit them with my elbow. Nice 3rd degree burn. 2) At wendys I was chopping lettuce at the sink. I put the knife down and it ended up facing blade up over the edge of the sink. I reached in to grab lettuce and sliced straight through the skin in between 2 of my fingers. Went to my boss and told him I needed to go visit the hospital since I could see my ligaments. Plus, many more that I can't remember. |
Riding my bicycle into a telephone pole, cracking my skull and giving myself a head concussion. I was 7 years old, in a race with my neighbor boy, and looked back to judge how far ahead I was. I looked back and BAM! hit the pole. I actually don't remember the blow, just seeing the pole and then waking in the ambulance.
Then I was 18, working in a factory, and sewed through my left pointer finger 3 times with an industrial sewing machine. Went through my nail twice, and just in front of my first nuckle the last time. Didn't even hurt that much until I was trying to fill out the accident form. Then it started throbbing and bleeding all over. |
Doing some tree trimming with a new electric chainsaw when I was 17. Cuts real smooth since it was new. A lot easier than getting clippers for the smaller pieces. Turns out it is not as easy to control when you have a small branch held in one hand and the chainsaw in the other. When the saw bucked, it bounced into my other hand and sliced into two fingers, taking a small portion out of my thumb nail, and making two parallel cuts in my forefinger. Thumb healed almost 100%, and forefinger still have two very cute scars in my finger. No other permanent damage though.
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I'm basically a klutz, a walking accident waiting to happen, if there's a set of stairs anywhere I've been more than once, you can bet I've fallen up or down them at least once.
A decade or so back, I was at a concert at Giants Stadium in the Meadowlands in NJ, I wasa on the top level, and we were leaving the concert, the meadowlands has a rather long escalator leaving it - I was midway downt he escalator when it stopped short - -everyone behind me pushed forward and I fell down them and broke my left arm. (Have had a paranoia of escalators and crowds ever since) A few months back I was heading down the stairs in Penn Station to the LIRR (becauseI hate escalators), I had my obligatory cup of coffee in one hand, my laptop slung over my shoulder, and the news paper in my other hand (this is why you are supposed to hold handrails) Well, I can only guess that my skirt hem got caught in my heel and I practically did a cartwheel down the stairs. Bruised the hell out of my tailbone and my elbow but didn't spill a drop of coffee. As a teenager, I was playing a spirirted game of soccer in my parents kitchen (mom always said don't play ball in the house) - Well I went to kick the ball, and I missed the ball and kicked the wall, of course I wasn't wearing shoes, and I broke 2 toes on my foot. I used to play hockey and ice skate a lot with the neighborhood kids, I've fallen thru the ice more times than I can count. I've had two rounds of arthroscopic surgery on my right knee due to identical skiing injuries two years apart in two differnt locations. Year one, was in Sunday River in Maine I was coming down a slope in perfect conditions, a person who did not belong on the slope that they were on crashed into me from behind -- never saw them coming at all. The year after, I was at Jackson Hole, Wyoming, same thing - person just crashed into me from behind. |
Age 13, showing off on my bike to a hottie working on the roof next door-i rode the curb...but not for long-bike tumbled, I went over the handlebars...let's just say it was my first sexual experience:mad:
Fast forward about 6 years-with friends at the local cedarlake when one decides he'd like to toss me in, but I fought him off and in the process, landed square on my ass on the water's edge-broke my tailbone. So now, I'm a mature responsible adult. Two days before Christmas, 02, I'm washing a glass out, the bottom rim cracks off and slices the tip of my middle finger half off. Spouse says, might need stitches, go to the ER. So I drove myself, blood-covered towel and all-got 8 stitches and ended up with nerve damage. I have also sliced open the thumb of my right hand while cutting bagels for a school bake sale and have some damage from that as well. |
A few years back I broke my baby toe...
In true idiot fashion I did it in a most unspectacular fashion. I was acting goofy, ran by my wife and my baby toe caught on her heel... I felt pain and crumpled to the floor in fits of laughter. When I looked at my toe it was at a 90 degree angle from the rest of my toes. Freaked me out but I still didn't stop laughing... The other major injury (if a broken baby toe can be included in the concept of major) was when I was a kid. I was riding my bicycle around my neighbourhood and when I went over a speed bump the front forks on my bike snapped. I went headfirst over the handle bars and landed firmly on my chin. After sliding for a few feet I sat up dazed and bawling... A group of teenagers playing frisbee gathered up the remains of my bike and took me home. The best was my Mom answering the door to the sight of my face covered in blood. My chin took three stitches without freezing... I hated needles. It took my Mom, the Nurse, the Doctor and an Intern to hold me down. |
I was at a camp in Jr High, and they had a multi leg relay race. My activity was to push a raw egg through a human fooseball sand court with my nose. As you can imagine, this took a while. When I got done, I stood up and thought the sand had just scraped up my knees horribly. Turns out when they put peroxide on it, and I SCREAMED, the sand given me second degree burns on both my knees. Who woulda thought that would happen? I got dropped off at home from camp by one of my friend's parents, and when my parents got home all they saw was two gigantic bandages covering both my knees, plus two inches on either side to try and keep me from bending my knees. That was an interesting experience, explaining what happened.
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My girlfriend poked me in the eye with her nipple once. Hurt like hell and killed the mood completely.
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since I do a lot of wood working, I have a lot of scares and finger tips not sewed on straight, but the most emberasing injury was when I was about 12 and rode down a gravel road on the handel bars of a bicycle---not knowing that I had the mumps. Yea, they went down on me. My right testical was about the size of an ostrich egg.....then the doctor came and said "wow, isin't that a dandy" right in front of my mom...well, it went down to almost nothing----still couldn't get a discount on the vasactomy.
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I went flying on this guy's little single-engine plane. We landed at a tiny airport, and they had courtesy bikes for people to ride around the town. I soon came to realize this was quite the misnomer.
I was moving along at a good pace, when the seat violently collapsed and tipped forward. I tried to regain my balance by standing on the pedals, but it was one of those bikes where backpedaling actuates the rear brake. So the rear wheel soon tried to exchange places with the front which sent me flying. The guy I was riding with was ahead of me, and noticed something was amiss when one of my sandals went flying past him. I fell off to the side and the damn bike kept tumbling. There was about a 10 foot long curvy skid mark from the locked up rear tire, soon followed by paint, foam from the seat being torn open, and some clothing shreds, skin, and blood contributed by me. I remember sitting on the ground, somewhat in shock, and thinking "If I had to injure myself on a stupid bike, at least it left a lot of cool looking marks all over the road." After getting home I called my mom, and said "I went out on a friend's 4-seater plane today. Had quite a crash. Quite a few scrapes and bruises, lost some blood, but I'm okay." After giving her a few seconds to freak out I said "Oh yeah, forgot, the crash was when I fell off a bike." Her response: "YOU LITTLE SHIT!" :D |
I seem to have problems with soccer goalposts (I used to play goalkeeper.) In 3rd grade, I was going to stop a shot, and I ran facefirst into the pole. I ended up chipping half of one of my front teeth. Fast forward about 4 years. Same exact goalpost, I go to make a diving stop on a penalty kick, and i hook my left thumb around the goalpost. The next day I go to the hospital to get a cast put on it.
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Thornbush + right eye = ouch.
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i ran into a buffet table at my family's restuarant. i was the exact same height as the part that the dishes go on. i have a scar on my forehead now.
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I dunked a basketball on one of those movable basketball hoops, that you fill with water to hold down. I thought it would be cool to hang, and make it look cool. It tipped, and I had a concusion, and broken nose. So embaressing lol.
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One time at work I had to make a stuffed lobster. To stuff a lobster, you have to lay it on its back, while it's still alive, hold its tail down and jam a knife in its chest so you can rip the guts out and replace them with stuffing. I had done this many times without a problem.
This time however, the lobster tried to push his tail up against my hand with such force that his upper body lunged up at me. Out of surprise, I let my hand go, causing the lobster to sail into the air, landing squarely in my groin. The lobster hit the floor and I was doubled over in pain and laughter, since a few other cooks saw this happen. I got my revenge though. |
I was standing on my brothers bed, slipped and impaled one of my feet on an open three ring binder. One of the ring-thingies made a nice hole between two of my toes.
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i think it was age 7 or 8... i tried to do a 'method' with my skateboard. when i brought the board up to grab it, i missed and broke my thumb on the board. really sad.
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Way for tech injuries! Mine would probably be the day of strike, which is when you disassemble/destroy the set. Well, at the beginning of the build we had put up foot-high platforms with 2x4's and plywood and toescrewing them down. After pulling them up, some of the screws had not been taken out, so we were walking around sliding our shoes looking for screws on the black painted wooden floor. I found one so I kneeled to take it out and, in the process, put my knee right on another screw that was screwed into the floor yet lacking a head. I though I only maybe scratched myself, but 10 minutes later I started feeling the warm liquid hitting my socks. Lifted up my jeans and, lo and behold, I definitely stabbed myself deeply with the screw and had been bleeding from the wound constantly!
Another one, but this time it was a friend that got injured. We were looking at this crappy tape measure with the head gone, so I took it apart and was looking at the tape measureing part. Then a friend said, "let me see it." He promptly unwound the tape measure part, then tried to pull apart the plastic case of the spring inside. However, the spring, under constant pressure, instead decided to unwind it's 15' band of coiled steel on his finger, giving him a nice surgical cut to the bone! |
I've got a few...
When I was nine or so, I got kicked in the jaw while playing "Steal the Bacon" at summer camp...bit all the way through my tongue...all of my cabinmates thought it was so cool that I could stick my tongue out and bleed on the top AND the bottom When I was 13 I was building a model...well, the exacto knife and I didn't exactly get along...while trimming some excess plastic off of the piece I was working with, the knife slipped...I now have a 1.5'' scar on my left index finger...the doctor said if I had cut 3 or 4 millimeters more, I would have cleaved the nerve and lost function in the finger altogether. Senior year of high school, I dislocated my shoulder during a football game. That doesn't sound so bad, but I had trouble with it all season, because the bastard just wouldn't stay in the socket. Finally, after everything was over, a bunch of my friends were goofing off, playing badminton. I, of course, joined in. I took a mighty swing at the birdie and my shoulder promptly threw itself out of socket...dislocating your shoulder whilst playing badminton is rather humiliating and disheartening...especially if females are around =(...on the plus side, I got lots of sympathy later=) |
Two weeks ago, I slipped on a plastic fork, and hit my leg on the dishwasher handle. I cannot deprive you of the privelege of seeing a picture of my misfortune. Here it is, with a US quarter for scale,
http://www.boomspeed.com/mrcactus/Leg_Cut.jpg Quote:
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A few months ago I woke up in the middle of the night with the feeling that I was going to be sick. Since it was flu season, I wasn't exactly surprised, but I wasn't sure how my illness was going to present itself. Just to be safe, I sat on the throne holding a bucket. Apparently, I passed out. I came to to hear my wife pounding on the bathroom door. I reached up and unlocked the door, and she came in. She helped me up and then said "Omigod, you're bleeding," while looking at a senstive area. Concerned that I might need stitches and because my stomach was now experiencing waves of shooting pains, we went to the e.r. The doctor gave me something to settle my stomach and said that I "tore" myself. He said I didn't need stitches, that I should just put antibiotic ointment on it. The best I can figure out, I was securely "tucked in" before I passed out, and my rapid descent took me past the stretching point. Oh well, if I am ever killed in a disfiguring accident, my wife will still be able to identify me in the morgue.
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I was a freshman in college and was playing hacky sack with a couple friends in our dorm room. My roomate happened to have a picnic basket with all the works, including champagne glasses. After about 20 minutes of playing, I went back to get a shot and slammed my elbow through the glasses. I had glass all in my elbow.
I had to go to the school nurse and she got what she could get out and told me to go to the hospital to get the rest out. The doctor took X-Rays and could still see that I had a piece under the skin, but he wasn't able to get it out. So I still have a piece of glass under my skin. I can still feel it sometimes.. |
When I was about 12 I cut the end of my left index finger off with a radio controlled air plane I didnt even feel it until I seen the blood squirting everywere
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I slid down a tin roof and fell back on the bolts that sealed the seam, the first bolt head only tore a hole in my shorts, the 2nd-8th took hunks of my ass.
Not my finest moment. |
well i wasnt going to tell anyone about this but k1ng told me about this thread....
just about every weekend we have drunken boxing matches at my cousins house(we use gloves and all that). on may 9th(the night before my brothers colloge graduation) we had a match like always and while going for a left upper-cut i over shot and hit my left forearm on my cousins face. we both fell on the floor for a moment in pain, then got back up and kept at it. it was about this time i realized something was really wrong with my left arm and decided to quit for the night. the next day after i got back from my brothers graduation i went to the ER and had some x-rays taken. aprarently it was shattered into several peices & i now have an 8 inch plate with 6 screws in my arm....:lol: |
Well, I guess it's not necessarily an injury, but it hurt like hell- My back & neck get out of alignment very easily. The beginning of last week, my son was grabbing onto my sweater hood and jumping off of a chair, jolting me backwards. For the past few days every single part of my body has been aching, but luckily today I feel better. I've never broken a bone, so I'm fortunate for that.
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At age 6, I tried to swing like tarzan, but it was more like George of the jungle, when I fell backwards, about 10 feet up, I put my arm out to catch my fall. Snap.
I was at a concert in '95, I made it to the front row, and some dude swung me around and head butted me, right above my left eye. 9 stiches. |
I got stitches from a folder in the 7th grade.
Mind you, this was one of those folders that had a thin metal band running around it to secure the contents, and a friend and I were playin tug-of-war, 7th grade style with the folder. Six stitches, and a nice scar in my right thumb later, I learned more respect for folders. |
I got hit in the shoulder with a minikeg from about 20 feet away. I took my shirt off and there was skin stuck to it from the impact.
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Learning how to ride a bike: I'm pedaling great, my dad lets go of the bike and I keep pedaling. Too bad I haven't learned how to turn yet, so I end up flying over the handlebars landing mid-torso on the top of a fire hydrant.
Riding a bike a couple years later: Loose shoelaces got caught in the chain of the bike causing me to crash... right into a bed of roses. Those thorns are painful when you're stuck on them with a bike on top of you. My last bike injury: My friends and I were riding bikes down a rather large hill next to their house. Since it wasn't my house, my bike was not there. I got stuck with the bike they found in the front yard. We're all going down the hill great until about 2/3s of the way down, the front tire of my bike just flies out. I slide probably about 10 feet down the pavement only to come up with a severly scraped up face and a chipped front tooth. Bikes are evil!! |
Alright, so I'm babysitting my little neighbors when I was 14 and it was late October, early November or so. Naturally, there were leaves everywhere. Well, near the lawn we were playing baseball on are these huge ass trees coupled with huge ass roots that protrude from the ground. I was running, couldn't see them, tripped and I put my arms in front of my body to cradle my fall. To my dismay, upon impact, my elbows jabbed into my ribs and I bruised one relatively badly. It sucked
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When I was in 3rd grade I went camping and went to the playground at the campsite and decided to go on the metal merry-go-round that you would push around. I lost my balance and fell face first into the bar knocking out one of my front teeth. It just came in too, was an adult one. Now I'm 17 and have a fake tooth that looks fine, it's hard to notice it's fake but in a few month's when I'm getting my wisdom teeth taken out they're putting in a permanent implant. kinda sucks but what can you do?
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In 4th grade I was visiting my friend Meghan, who lived in an old farm house. The door between her bedroom and her sister's bedroom got stuck half in and half out of the door jamb, and we couldn't get it open. It didn't have a door knob, just the place where the little catch thing used to be on the side of the door. I stuck my finger in there trying to pull the door open. Meghan didn't see that I had done that and kicked the door trying to loosen it up, and slammed the hell out of my finger. The nail fell off and it's never been straight since. Still hurts like hell to think about.
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So a few years ago my office was moving within the building, from the ninth floor to the sixth. All the higher ups were around to supervise which turned out to be great because once we were done they decided to treat everyone who helped out to an expensive dinner. Well at dinner I decided to imbibe a bit and drank about 10 beers and a few shots of GM. Dinner Party breaks up but, of course, I still had had not drank enough so I talked a couple of co-workers into heading out to a bar down the street.
Now that the background is set... On the walk over to another bar I spotted a long row of bushes, about four feets high, set on a street in downtown DC. I sprint about 50 yards, lay out and superman it on top of the bushes. Little did I realize that that one long bush was really a set of smaller bushes, each in its own square marble planter. Well the good news is I easily cleared the first bush, bad news didn't quite make it to the second. Chin planted on the second bush and split open the chin, sprained my back and nearly broke my neck, literally. Talk about stupidity. Guess that is why they say youth is wasted on the young... |
I tried to be a trapeez artist in my backyard in a tree. Unfortunately the branch I was swining to was dead and I fell about ten feet. Luckily nothing was broken but I had a pretty bad bruise on my tailbone.
Also a friend of mine dropkicked me off his trampoline when I was 7. |
I accidently threw a pot pie in my face. I was getting it out of the oven and I touched the top of my hand to one of the electric heating elements and jerked my hand back, launching the four hundred degree tasty treat into my face. I had to be taken to the hospital where I was treated for burns and had to wear this white goop and bandages for about a month. I used to have a scar where to crinkled metal ring of the pie pan hit me but fortunatly its faded away. Pot pies were never the same after that...
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Remembered another one:
In high school a guy threw a pair of needle-nose pliars at me. I wasn't paying attention and he said "Catch!" I put my hands up but didn't realize what they were until the nose of the pliars was embedded a quarter of an inch into the skin of my hand. |
I've had lots of weird accidents.
Age 10- Skating along at a skating rink, and decide to skate over to get something to drink. I'm not so good at the breaking part of skating, and I ended up skating right into a bench (the back of it was neck level). Turns out I hit it so hard my neck swelled and I had a huge goose egg at the point of impact. Age 11- Ran into my best friend's mother on my bike because I was riding and drinking out of a waterbottle at the same time. Fell on the asphalt and have a nice permanently black scar about the size of a half dollar on my left knee. Age 12- Carving pumpkins with an exacto knife is not a good idea. Slipped and sliced the whole side of my finger open. Still have a very interesting long scar on my pinkie. Age 15 - Had to open one of those exposed locks at school by sticking my finger into the lock and pushing the lever down. Some evil kid walked up while I was doing it, and just as I had the lever down he slammed the door open. This resulted in ripping off the bottom of my index finger - you could see the fat under the pad of the finger. My dance teacher wouldn't let me go to the nurse so I had to stand and bleed on the floor until another teacher came in and dragged me - by my injured hand - to the nurse. By the time I got to the doctor there wasn't much left to stich so I had to have those weird "stitch strips". That really sucked because I couldn't use that finger to ride, or play guitar. |
I slipped on a vagina and chipped my tooth
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Owwee
When I was like 3 or 4 I somehow managed to shut my dick in dresser drawer. Ouch! I remember it was swollen and bruised for a few weeks.
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Lets see... Ive never had stitches at all, amazingly enough. I do a lot of cycling. About two years ago, I was mountain biking, and ended up flying over the handlebars (still dont know how... It just kinda spontaneously happened). The handlebars turned in mid air, one end of the bars hit the ground, and my groin smashed into the other end of the bars. I was doubled up in pain for about 10 minutes before I could even talk. Luckily it missed the jewels by about an inch. My whole quad was black, blue, and yellow for two weeks, and to this day, I have no feeling on that part of my leg. A few weeks ago I was cleaning my shotgun and wasnt paying enough to my fingers. My pinky was barely inside the chamber when my other hand hit the bolt release, causing the thing to ram home, on my finger. Some blood and a swollen finger was all it ended up being, but I thought it was broken at first. Suffice it to say Ill watch my fingers next time. |
you want all of them or just the most recent...
most recent---total knee replacement from participating in the wild cow milking event at the local county fair. (on the good side we won by default, no-one else even came close) We have a mantle over our fireplace that has all the various trophies my kids have aquired thru the years. That year my wife framed the T-Shirt I recieved for winning the event and placed it on the mantle. The caption reads: "Cow-1 , Fool-0" |
so late one night, i was thirsty, and i wnet to get a drink of water, i returned to bed and as i usualy do i threw my self back, i was to high up the bed and whacked my head on the wall. i sufferd a concusion that screwed me up for the next several months. no fun at all. ah stupidity.
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One time I went swimming and tried to do a "watermelon" ... which is kind of like a dive, but at the last second you curl up and flip over ... causing a big splash. Well, I guess I curled up toooooo much because I brought my knee up and "kicked myself" in the mouth. My canine tooth went through my lip. I had to physically pull my lip off my tooth.
It was kinda cool. I could flip my lip and put stuff through the hole. Of course, this was about 15 years before holes in lips were cool. |
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so youre the one who started that trend!!? thats a strange way get your lip pierced.... but to each their own. :-p |
around 4 years old was taken to a company picnic. Some other morons(not from the company) there must of thought it was a good idea to dump hot coals out of their grill onto the ground. Ran over them and got 3rd degree burns on both of my feet.
Thankfully a few of the guys there where volunteer firemen and were able to help right away. |
8 years old, jumping from sofa to sofa with my sister, both of us jumped for the same one, CRACK, she fell back into the soft sofa, i fell onto the floor and landed on my head / neck.
Apparently poped a couple of dics in my neck out of alignment to something my mum always reminds me, i remember going to this physio doctor so he could pop them back into place. All turned out good thoe, a couple weeks later i was acting like a crazy kid again |
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