men crying????
 

why is it that guys can't cry?.... a co-worker of mine broke his arm today and said he didn't want to cry cause he'd look like a pussy... but I was like wtf? you broke your arm... cry all you want.... I just want a reasonable explaination.... or is it not socially acceptable?

i dunno. i cry plenty. pussy no. human being yes.

Rules for men crying should be the same as women, cry because you broke your nail, you get taken out back and shot, cry because you got your hear broke, cry all you want to.

Some people I know cry at the drop of a hat, and to be honest, that gets a little annoying, they'll sit there and sob rather than deal with fixing the problem. Crying as a solution to a problem is not acceptable in my book. Crying because it seems like a good reaction to the immediate situation, is acceptable.

Break your arm? Shit that hurts. Cry. Go to the hospital and get your arm set. Cry. Get bill from hospital. Cry.

The only time I ever really cry is when I am just beyond frustrated.

Most of the guys I know well enough to be around them in a situation where I would cry if in the situation have gotten teary in front of me. So could just be an issue with the individual person, whether they can express themselves that way.

Boys...
Don't...
Cry...

Men can, though.

Sounds like the guy was told early on it wasn't manly to cry.

I cry. It is a great stress reducer.
Sometimes I cry when I think of my late father.
Good movies and good books will get me to shed a few tears, too.
You can still be man and cry.
Go ahead, pull out a nose hair and have a cry. ;)

I tried to cry last night because of reasons, and I just couldnt.
As if it were physically impossible or something.

Yeah, I can't do it. I get a little choked up, but quickly regain composure.

Even through my dad dying and my wedding, didn't cry.

I cry. I cried this weekend.

I have no problem showing my emotion. The last thing somebody would consider me is a pussy.

BTW, the physical stuff hasn't made me cry in decades ... despite going through some pretty painful circumstances. It's the emotional stuff that will get me. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten choked up watching my child grow.

I don't cry unless somebody dies. Last time I cried was when my grandma died. I cried when I heard the news, but not during the funeral or any time after that. This was the first time I'd cried in about 6 years.

I have a weakness for dogs and cats. When they die, I cry.

I don't cry for any other reason.

I'd agree with that. Physical stuff doesn't get me teary-eyed, just makes me yell pretty loudly. I'm not really an overly emotional person either but if it's something really bad (family member dying, breaking up with someone really important, etc.) then I'll get choked up.

And I know my male friends do that too, you can hear it in their voice if they talk about break ups.

There was an expirement a while back about crying where they removed tear glands from mice that had an injury. The control group healed normally and the tearless group in fact began to show degradaton of the wounds instead of healing.


My armchair theory is this is one of the reasons women outlive men. We have this stupid rule that we can't use a natural healing and stress reliever built into us, and when you do that you compound stress on yourself. So instead of relief your response is to stifle the response and make things even worse physically/emotionally.


If I feel I have to cry , I will. If that makes me a pussy then I'll just go fuck myself then. ;)

I cry whenever i can. I wasn't able to cry for a really long time and it made me feel like less of a man.

I don't see crying during physical pain to help, I usually yell or curse loudly during the inital impact of pain and after that tell myself to fix the problem and not cry or wollow in my own pain. I haven't had an emotional reason to merit tears in years so I don't know if I would or not. I am not opposed to crying, I just haven't done it in along time.

I see it as an inability to compose oneself.

For example say you're bum rushing Normandy beach. You can put your head beneath your legs and cry, and noone would blame you for it. If you're calm, collected and give confidence to others then you will be admired as a strong individual.

It's a choice between being human and being super human I guess. It's not surprising that most guys take the loaded-for-bear balls to the wall approach.

There's no crying in baseball.

I busted my femur a couple months back. That was the worst thing I have ever experienced, but it didn't occur to me to cry. Maybe it's the manly thing, or I just don't do it.

I don't want to go into detail as to why, but over the years I've become largely desensitized to any sort of emotion. There is very, very little out there that could ever make me cry, and unfortunately I express myself in ways that are physically unhealthy.

I can cry at the drop of a hat.

Isn't 'the rule' that men can't cry in front of others? I know I don't like to cry in front of others and when I must I go seek solitude and cry alone.

Probably to do with the whole not being perceived as weak thing....

I cry when I lose a really tough football game, when i tried my hardest.

I cried when i broke up with my last girlfriend, although im sure she wished i would have cried more...

i really dont cry that often

I'll bust a little toe, sprain an ankle, break my arm, cut myself badly and not even crack. I'll yell and curse till I feel better though :)
I dunno, maybe it's a natural leftover from early times: you bust something, so you're probably in danger, first things first: gimme that adrenaline and get safe or solve the problem.

Emotional stuff though, that can get to a man, although interestingly, it does seem to come more easily when I'm alone.

Maybe conditioning, yeah, but I don't mind too much really.

Crying is ok
 

You call me Pussy , I'll cry the Shit out of you ! :hmm:

This is my favorite answer in this thread. I'll have to remember it as my son grows up (he's 20 months now).

Physical pain rarely makes me cry. If it does it has to be a lot of pain. Plus, my pain tolerance is fairly high.
Emotional pain on the other hand....
Like my brother dying.

I cry, I cry because I know it's a bodily thing. Much as I pee because that's a bodily function. To me, it's something that needs to be done in some situations. Last time I shed a tear was this past weekend as we moved out of my apt. Got a bit misty out of that but my last good cry was when I had to give away my 3 ferrets.

Crying is for emotional stuff, not physical pain. For most I know anyway.

I cry like a baby at the end of watching "It's a Wonderful Life". Always.

I don't know about men not crying. I've seen some men who cry all the time - almost more than some women I know.

My Dad cries easily. My mother doesn't. Not half as much anyway/ I can't even tell you how many times my Dad cried. Granted he has had emotional and depression problems for as long as I can remember. He cried for attention mostly. That's even what his psychiatrist in the psychiatric ward told us. He was an attention whore. He'd cry in church because I'd managed to convert a friend of mine. He'd cry at a B-day party because he was so happy that so many people were there just for him. He cried because MY bird died. I just was dry eyed and in shock. I suppose his crying prevented me from crying because as we buried my bird that I'd had for 7 years all I could think about is why is my Dad blubbering like that? He'd grab the kleenex box and sit there with my mom watching Skylark and sniffing and blubbering half way through it. It was embarressing in public when he'd cry over something that was simply touching. It was creepy when he'd blubber over a romantic movie while my brother and I looked at each other in confusion because neither one of us were crying but our parents were in GRIEF. Maybe at the time we just didn't understand the depth of some emotions because we hadn't had a lot of life experience. It was more than disconcerting as a kid with a Dad who was an attention whore and used crying half the time to get attention.

I wish my Dad didn't cry so much.

I've been accused of wearing my "heart on my sleeve", so I cry fairly easily, especially when I'm stressed out like I have been recently.

I don't ever cry at physical pain. That kind of pain simply doesn't induce crying. It's always emotions that do it to me.

for some reason, seeing my dad cry ALWAYS makes me tear up. Seeing my mom or anybody else cry not so much, but my dad...always. It's weird.

I cry at emotional stuff, and i'm proud of it.

It's the physical stuff that doesn't make me cry anymore, in those situations, i think a good "FUCK! GODDAMMIT, THAT HURTS!!" actually makes for much better catharsis and release of pain than crying.

Pain hasn't made me cry since I was a kid, its just pain. It hurts and I get mad. A death, or heartbreak then I can get choked up. Been a long time since I've cried though.

Some people do it, some don't. I don't like seeing people cry, it makes me feel bad. I don't want anyone to be upset enough to cry. Perhaps that's why I don't cry, because I don't want to make other people feel like that. I dunno. It's just not a natural reaction for me I guess...

I only cry over emotional pain. Crying because you broke your arm does make you kind of a pussy. I get angry when I cut myself or break a bone

There is a very simple reason as to why men don't cry and why men in general is against showing any emotion under most of our history.

And here it is;
It doesn't solve the problem!
Simple eh?

I cry when I want to. I know I'll still have a penis afterwards.

Onions will get me crying plenty. Emotional stuff, can't say for sure, I've seen tons of sad movies and events that other people would sob like a baby and I just sit there dumbfounded..I guess you can say I'm emotionally dead. Not that I have a problem with crying, I don't, crying is just something I don't see myself doing it. Crying because of physical pain? Can't remember the last time I've done that. When I'm hurt, I groan, I grunt, I scream, yell, shout. Again, I don't have a problem with crying, I just don't do it.

pain makes my eyes water, but not sob. emotional pain makes me cry, but it has to be pretty extreme.

also, the idea that i have disappointed someone with my actions makes me choke up, but i don't go over the edge.

the scariest thing of all was my mother had a cancer scare last year (everything is okay) but when i found out, i couldn't bring myself to cry. i felt like a complete cunt.

it was only when i went to visit her in hospital and thought about losing her i broke down.

My husband never cries. Sometimes it really bothers me I would feel better if he did cry. I cry all the time and it makes me feel better. I wish he did to.

i cry over weird shit..
like when my grandmother died i tried to cry but couldnt, yet whenever i listen to the cd that my ex made for me of her talking about shit that she wants me to remember about her and shit that she liked me about i ball my eyes out.

I have a male friend that cries at sad movies...and he thinks I'm cold hearted because I don't

Pretty much sums it up for me. I've always had a pretty high tolerance for physical pain. Although I cry for emotional reasons, I prefer to do it in private.

I'll agree with the pain=no tears thing... Swearing is better for pain anyways.

But I cried when a friend of mine committed suicide, but I didn't so much when my grandmother passed away.

I guess it was a different set of circumstances there.

When I was younger I cried when I watched "My Dog Skip"

Oh and when I broke my favorite girls heart by not being there for her when she needed me... I still cry about that when we talk about it.

Sometimes I really want to cry, just to purge the bad feelings, but I can't. The tears start welling up and then somehow it turns into a laugh instead.

I Concur with above, pain=no tears, emotions=tears ok, and I don't see anything wrong with that.

Agreed. I had all the skin shredded off my left arm in a skateboarding accident back in '96, didn't even dream of crying.

I cry. If something upsets me enough to make me cry, sure as hell I'm gonna cry.

I can't cry anymore. I know it'd make me feel better sometimes, but I have this weird inability to cry. I was...probably nine years old when I last cried.

Well crying from physical is plain silly. I don't do it and I don't get the urge either. When I get hurt physically I get scared or I get mad. Those are useful reactions to being hurt.
Crying is a useless reaction to getting hurt.

Now... crying over emotional distress? Hells yeah I do that. It's how I communicate the severity with which something is bothering me to others.

PS I am a guy

Was goint to write that, but you said it perfectly. Nicely done.

I only cry when I'm depressed or sad. Sure I'll get a little teary-eyed sometimes but hardly ever real tears.

I'm a girl.

I almost never ever cry in public (not counting boyfriends who get to see everytihng) for a lot of reasons. For starters, there is a difference between feeling pain (both physical and emotional) and suffering for it. I will clearly acknowledge (spelling?) that something has hurt me, because that is useful, but I'm not going to feel all sorry for myself and get all worked up.

Also, I don't want to make whoever hurt me feel bad (if they are a friend) or good (if they are an enemy). If, for example, my father runs over my foot with a truck, he's going to feel horrible enough already without my falling all to peices and making him feel worse. If, also for example, some creep deliberately gives me wrong directions and gets me lost, there's no way I'm going to let him win by getting upset over it!

Finally, I often want to cry when a friend is crying, just because I feel their pain almost as much as I feel my own, but I can't imagine anything worse (at least, for me it would be horrible) than to know that my tears were making my best friend cry. Plus, I think it's important to be a steady, solid, supportive person in bad situations.

But when alone, all bets are off, including the one about not wallowing in my own misery. I figure, what's life if you can't wallow once in a while? ;-)

I cry, and i cry a lot, but i never cry because i got phisically hurt.

i cry when i start hating myself...thankfully hasnt happened more then a few times
and when my dog died :(

All that fits me good. I cried three times in high school, and I think they were the only times I've cried since puberty...

1) My Junior year, I started my first full football game at Free Safety...I gave it everything I had and we still lost, which killed me inside.

2) My great-grandmother died last January, which is the closest death I've ever experienced. She had also been sick since about the October before that, so it was expected. It still tore me up though.

3) Our football team got to the play-offs for the first time in about six or seven years this past November, and we were facing the favorite for the State Championship in the first round. We lost and we lost hard, but we gave some hellacious effort. It wasn't just the effort, but the fact that it was our last football game. Outside of my great-grandma dying, that's the most pain I've ever ever experienced.

I still hurt when I think about #2 and #3, though I haven't cried about them since the event happened.

Here i thought i would be the only guy saying that pain just makes me curse and scream *and half the time hurting myself worse in the process of being angry with myself for getting hurt to begin with* but loved ones dying tragically will usually drop me to my knees for a while.

I cry a lot.

Sometimes it's the tears-welling-in-my-eyes cry, other rarer times it's the chest-heaving-sobbing cry. In fact, just today I was so overwhelmed with sheer happiness, joy and beauty that I cried, and even sobbed a couple of times.

I cried when my children were born. If God grants me more, I'll cry then too.

I cried when my son died. A lot. For years. Occasionally it will still overwhelm me.

I cried when I saw my son's prom pictures.

So, for me it's a normal emotional response.

There's something very attractive about a man that's not afraid to cry....

*shrugs* or maybe I'm just an odd duck...

the only times i can remember crying are these

-when my dad and stepmom got divorced(my mom and dad got divorced when i was less than a year old so i didnt have to deal w/ that)
--didnt care about my stepmom, didnt really like her, but i knew after that i would never see my stepbrother again, and we had a great bond.

-when my dog died
--i was playing w/ it out in the yard, and a car drove by and she chased it, ran under the wheel, and the car sped away

-at the end of the movie "the green mile"
--not sure if i was just really stressed out, or if i related the movie to something that had happened to me, or what.

physical pain - i dont cry, i mostly just get pissed off and yell

emotional pain - has to be pretty serious for me to cry

I don't cry at a lot of things, but i never cry in the moment. I'm too self-conditioned to take care of everything else first, and then me. I pride myself on that... I can be strong for others when they need it (sure i show emotion but i don't cry) and then later, after all is said and done, I cry like a damn baby. I like taking care of the situation i'm in and setting aside my emotions.

Example: in my journal, i wrote about being told something horrible over the phone, and I thought someone very dear to me (like a sister) was dead, and then learned that she had only broken a leg. It took a good 30 minutes to regain normalcy from the shock, and then after i'd calmed down, I had a real good cry over the shock and the thought of loss.

Some emotional things make me cry almost right away, when there's no urgency: the loss of a loved SO. The movie "what dreams may come".... quiet tears through damn near half of it.

Crying is something humans do. Tell your friend not to be so superficial.

I have cried only once in the last half of my life (I'm 22) and it was just after an intense breakup. I came close to crying during the green mile but I managed to keep it in. I don't like it. :|

Personally, I have never cried since I was like 11 because of physical pain. I just feel no impulse to.

As far as emotional pain goes, yes I have cried, but in private or with my GF.

Most guys are brought up in a "Boys Don't Cry" society, and the damage this has caused to men is terrible.

Nothing helps or pain better than a hi volume of swearing, :P

I cry over emotional pain. I don't cry over physical pain.