Free Hugs! - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

quadro2000 · 05-10-2004, 07:39 AM

What a great article. I wish I had the guts to do this. I just hate rejection.

This reminds me of the video for "Everyday" by Dave Matthews Band, where the guy just goes around and hugs everyone. I can't watch that video without getting a huge smile on my face.

I give a lot of hugs as it is, but maybe I'll give a few more today...

Linky

Quote:

May 10, 2004
GREENWICH VILLAGE JOURNAL
Inviting the Public's Embrace, One by One
By ANDREA ELLIOTT

Jayson Littman is not especially lonely, or religious, or in need of cash - things that strangers might assume upon meeting him.

He is a financial analyst who happens to think that New Yorkers could use a hug. So it was, a month ago, that Mr. Littman began distributing hugs - free - from 1 to 4 p.m. on Sundays in Washington Square Park in Greenwich Village.

"At first I thought no one would respond," said Mr. Littman, 26, who lives in Manhattan. But on his first Sunday, standing before a giant hand-lettered sign that reads "Free Hugs," Mr. Littman and a friend embraced 200 people in two and a half hours. "There's a lot of war and blood in the world right now,'' he said, "and this helps to even it out."

On first impression, Mr. Littman seems more salesman than pacifist. Wearing a T-shirt that echoes his sign, arms outstretched, he stands near the dog run and yells to passers-by: "Hey! Need a free hug? It's cheaper than a subway ride. Come on! Everyone needs a hug."

More often than not, people keep walking, or stop and stare, searching for the catch. They look for a hidden donation box, or a stack of religious pamphlets.

"People ask me if I'm wearing deodorant," Mr. Littman said. The answer is yes. Mr. Littman is almost antiseptically clean. He has close-cropped hair and a light scent of cologne, and tucks his shirt neatly into his spotless jeans. His smile is blindingly white.

"Last time I didn't hug him, and I felt so bad I hugged him today," said Nicole Cavender, 23, a dog walker who was accompanied by two French bulldogs. Mr. Littman hugged them, too. (Dogs are a big part of his clientele.)

"First, I was like totally paranoid," said Elizabeth Singer, 48, a psychotherapist who watched Mr. Littman from the distance while her Maltese played in the dog run. "But he seems to be really happy and generous. Of course, being a New Yorker, you wonder what happy and generous really is."

Between hugs, Mr. Littman spelled out his rules: "No dates, no numbers, no money. This is a nonprofit organization."

Mr. Littman's other rule is no discrimination: anyone who wants a hug gets one. He hugs the homeless.

"Need a hug?" he asked a woman smoking a sweet-tipped cigar.

"I don't, but you sure look like you need one," she replied, wrapping her arms around him. "He looked lonely," the woman, Jo Copasso, 43, said later.

On typical Sundays, Mr. Littman is accompanied by his friend Sipai Klein, who also gives out hugs. But because of Mother's Day, Mr. Klein could not be there yesterday. Mr. Littman said he was "not in touch" with his own parents, who live in Brooklyn. The subject causes a brief, sad lull before he charges on.

"How about a free hug?" he hollered at a man, woman and small boy dressed all in black. "How about not?" the boy shot back.

"I'm trying to cut down," said a banker from Kenya.

"Nothing's free," said another man, as he brushed past with his golden retriever.

The rejections seemed to bounce right off Mr. Littman's toothy smile.

"Ahhhhh!" screamed Faith Smith, 15, of Queens, as she sprinted toward Mr. Littman's open arms and delivered an almost crushing embrace.

"Nobody wants to give him a hug,'' she said. "I feel so bad."

Melanie Griot, 27, watched Mr. Littman for 20 minutes before succumbing to his arms. "I had a really bad morning," said Ms. Griot, an aspiring writer who had had a fight with her boyfriend.

Halfway through the afternoon, Mr. Littman's friend Jeffrey Greenberg, a teacher who lives in Toronto, walked up and said hello, then stepped back to watch.

"He told me he started this a few weeks ago, so I had to see this with my own eyes," said Mr. Greenberg, 27, who stood with his arms crossed. "He's a little bit quirky at times, but I never would have expected this."

In less than an hour, an unexpected transformation had occurred in Mr. Greenberg. He, too, was soliciting people for hugs.

"It's contagious," he said.

Soon, an actor, Langdon Bosarge, 35, walked up to the pair.

"Why are you guys doing this?'' Mr. Bosarge asked. "Hugging strangers is, like, weird."

"What's your name?" Mr. Littman asked.

"Langdon."

"My name's Jayson. Now we're not strangers."

They hugged.

"It felt O.K.," Mr. Bosarge said as he walked off. "It was kind of the half-body-contact hug versus the full frontal."

It was what Mr. Littman has termed the "duck hug," when a person ducks in and out. There is also the "three-tap hug" - a cautious, back-patting type. No matter what comes at him, Mr. Littman always seems to respond with the same calm, noninvasive embrace.

Among those surveying Mr. Littman yesterday was Carolyn Howe, 54, a professor of sociology at College of the Holy Cross, in Worcester, Mass., who happened to be walking through the park.

"It makes a lot of people think about themselves, about why they're afraid of getting a hug," Ms. Howe said.

Mr. Littman hopes to start a national hugging movement. For the time being, he is trying to recruit "cameo huggers" to help fortify his presence in the park.

"The elderly are the hardest grab," he said. Every Sunday, an 87-year-old woman hobbles past him about five times during the course of the afternoon, each time dismissing him with the flick of a hand.

Sure enough, yesterday was no exception. "She's my toughest one," he said before bellowing, "Every Sunday you turn me down!"

The woman, Lynn Logan, sat on a shaded bench, nearby, wearing an Ebenezer Scrooge scowl beneath her red-wool hat.

"He oughta get a job. He has nothing better to do," said Ms. Logan, a retired telephone operator. "I can't be bothered with this nonsense.''

But asked why she would not relent, she paused and said, "He's not my type."

Averett · 05-10-2004, 07:44 AM

I love stories like this

Cynthetiq · 05-10-2004, 07:44 AM

That's wonderful... I love seeing things like this... people doing simple things and getting maximum impact.

of course if this was 13 years ago, people would have thought that man to be on drugs, mentally unstable, and of course going to Washington Square Park? You'd think he was offering you a dime bag.

Rubyee · 05-10-2004, 07:48 AM

How nice. I want you to go to that park and get two hugs- one for me, too!

Memnoch · 05-10-2004, 08:12 AM

If some people here in the Milwaukee metro promise to come give me hugs, I'll go downtown by the Midwest Express Center and give out some hugs this Sunday!

DelayedReaction · 05-10-2004, 08:15 AM

Hrm... I should start doing this at the University of Maryland.

PredeconInferno · 05-10-2004, 08:34 AM

That's kinda funny. I think if I were there I'd want to do something like that, too.

raeanna74 · 05-10-2004, 09:15 AM

That sounds cool.
I know so many people in town it's not unusual to give a quick hug or seeing people give the "half body" hug in public places. It's almost like a harty handshake. I love small towns for this one reason. Glad someone is trying to warm up the city.

la petite moi · 05-10-2004, 09:18 AM

That's so great. I admit, though, I would probably be one of those skeptical people, looking for pamphlets or handouts.

skier · 05-10-2004, 10:56 AM

People don't touch much in our society. I think it's great what this guy is doing, people need hugs.

KellyC · 05-10-2004, 11:07 AM

Dammit..I need a hug right now..

Cynthetiq · 05-10-2004, 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by KellyC
Dammit..I need a hug right now..

***hugz***

maleficent · 05-10-2004, 11:11 AM

I'm such a cynic... I'd have to walk around this guy rather than being in his path. I'd make the assumption that he was on drugs, looking for a handout, or otherwise unwell. Basically, not my problem for that moment, though I'd give him the apple that's in my bag. But a hug? Nope -- too creepy.

KellyC · 05-10-2004, 12:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cynthetiq
***hugz***

awww..now I feel all warm inside..Thank You sir

fhqwhgads · 05-10-2004, 01:07 PM

I'm a bit of a cynic too, unfortunately. I'd be checking to make sure my wallet is still there afterwards.

World's King · 05-10-2004, 01:12 PM

/me hugs his crotch

qtpye4u84 · 05-10-2004, 01:30 PM

I wanna free hug!!!!!!!!!!!! I need one today gerrrr bad day .

Cynthetiq · 05-10-2004, 01:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by qtpye4u84
I wanna free hug!!!!!!!!!!!! I need one today gerrrr bad day .

***hugz***

qtpye4u84 · 05-10-2004, 01:37 PM

thank you!!!!!!! LOL

afraidofninjas · 05-10-2004, 02:44 PM

He's ruining my hug for hire business. How is a fella supposed to compete when some guy is giving it away for free? For shame...

fhqwhgads · 05-10-2004, 04:53 PM

Think it's too much to ask for a hug with a happy ending??

Frenchie · 05-10-2004, 06:27 PM

I think I would be freaked out... it is in NYC, but ya never know. I might just hug the man.

quadro2000 · 05-10-2004, 07:44 PM

Here's a link to the video for "Everyday" by Dave Matthews Band, which features full-frontal hugging. I love this video. It's a large RM download (23 MB):

Everyday

Astrocloud · 05-11-2004, 02:43 AM

Bah, you get what you pay for... "Free" Hugs -I charge 2.95 for my hugs and they're better.

BoCo · 05-11-2004, 05:28 AM

Get a hot chic to offer free hugs and the line would be a mile long.

sexymama · 05-11-2004, 05:41 AM

Sad, but true, I'd avoid him too. This world can be such a scary place; yet we are all so touch deprived.

Holo · 05-11-2004, 08:36 AM

I'd be interested in watching the hugged..there are so many types of hugs. Here are ones I've experienced:

The I Hate You Hug- the typical sideways one arm hug that allows easy escape and little body contact. Sometimes contains a quick squeeze for slightly more intimacy.

The Donation Hug- where they lean in but don't hug back, effectively "donating" their body to the hugger.

The Real Hug- you squeeze with both arms firmly and attempt to encompass the person. (my favorite)

The Man Hug-begins with a handshake and a shoulder-block like movement while still shaking hands. A variant is as before but with a quick pat on the back as well.

Hug From Behind- I like giving these not receiving them.

Polyphobic · 05-11-2004, 09:01 AM

Is the hug where you both lean toward each other and touch shoulders and hands to the back the Donation hug?
I have female friends that use that hug. Mainly so their chests don't touch whoever they are hugging. It's a crappy substitue for a real hug. I want full on chest to chest hugging, damn it.

JStrider · 05-11-2004, 09:45 AM

hmmm... i wonder... if i did this... i wonder if i could hug a lot of hot girls... ... ... maybe its not as good if ive got alterior motives like that...

Giant Hamburger · 05-11-2004, 09:52 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Holo

Hug From Behind- I like giving these not receiving them.

like this one...

Texas is the "friendship" state.

greytone · 05-11-2004, 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Holo

The Real Hug- you squeeze with both arms firmly and attempt to encompass the person. (my favorite)

The Man Hug-begins with a handshake and a shoulder-block like movement while still shaking hands. A variant is as before but with a quick pat on the back as well.

Here is a virtual Real Hug to all you female type TFP'ers and a firm handshake to you guys.

Cynthetiq · 05-11-2004, 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Giant Hamburger
like this one...

Texas is the "friendship" state.

looks more like the "hind lick" maneuver.

User Name · 05-11-2004, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Holo
The Donation Hug- where they lean in but don't hug back, effectively "donating" their body to the hugger.

Whenever anyone tries to hug me, my body basically goes limp and I never return the hug. I never knew what to call that, but now I know! Thank you for enlightening me.

Cynthetiq · 05-11-2004, 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by User Name
Whenever anyone tries to hug me, my body basically goes limp and I never return the hug. I never knew what to call that, but now I know! Thank you for enlightening me.

I always thought of that like the limp fish hug like the limp fish handshake.

iamweasel · 05-11-2004, 01:28 PM

Nice Story, I also don't think there are enough hugs in the world, I hug everyone and anyone me

maleficent · 01-21-2005, 06:19 AM

Resurrecting this thead because today, January 21, is National Hugging Day...

http:\\www.nationalhuggingday.com

Don't forget to hug your friends today...

StanT · 01-21-2005, 06:27 AM

I'll run right in and hug all of the guys at work. This is Boulder, we've had our annual diversity pitch.

Mephisto2 · 01-21-2005, 06:29 AM

I hug my friends and family all the time.

But I could do with one myself now and again, without having to initiate it myself.

Mr Mephisto

cyrnel · 01-21-2005, 06:52 AM

Good story. Good timing. I had lunch with both my sisters yesterday. One likes hugs like me, the other does the stand-offish, one-arm, trust issue thing. Not just to me, to everyone. It sure makes me believe we had different experiences growing up. I'll have to send this story to them & see if it won't help spark a family discussion.

lurkette · 01-21-2005, 07:52 AM

I love hugs and I'm a good hugger. I'd absolutely hug this guy. I would still check to make sure I had all my belongings afterward. But as a woman, I don't think there's any way I would stand on the street offering free hugs. Sounds like a good way to get felt up by creepy people. Interesting how this experiment makes us think about our assumptions, prejudices and fears.

05-10-2004, 07:44 AM	#2 (permalink)
Averett Is In Love Location: I'm workin' on it	I love stories like this __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

05-10-2004, 07:44 AM	#3 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	That's wonderful... I love seeing things like this... people doing simple things and getting maximum impact. of course if this was 13 years ago, people would have thought that man to be on drugs, mentally unstable, and of course going to Washington Square Park? You'd think he was offering you a dime bag. __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

05-10-2004, 07:48 AM	#4 (permalink)
Rubyee I'm baaaaack!	How nice. I want you to go to that park and get two hugs- one for me, too! __________________ You don't know from fun.

05-10-2004, 08:12 AM	#5 (permalink)
Memnoch Insane Location: Land of milk and honey - Wisconsin	If some people here in the Milwaukee metro promise to come give me hugs, I'll go downtown by the Midwest Express Center and give out some hugs this Sunday! __________________ Doing my best not to end up like Kathleen Chang.

05-10-2004, 08:15 AM	#6 (permalink)
DelayedReaction BFG Builder Location: University of Maryland	Hrm... I should start doing this at the University of Maryland. __________________ If ignorance is bliss, you must be having an orgasm.

05-10-2004, 08:34 AM	#7 (permalink)
PredeconInferno Reclusiarch Location: Unfortunately Houston, TX	That's kinda funny. I think if I were there I'd want to do something like that, too. __________________ Samurai in Training Knowledge is power. Guard it well.

05-10-2004, 09:15 AM	#8 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	That sounds cool. I know so many people in town it's not unusual to give a quick hug or seeing people give the "half body" hug in public places. It's almost like a harty handshake. I love small towns for this one reason. Glad someone is trying to warm up the city. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

05-10-2004, 09:18 AM	#9 (permalink)
la petite moi Filling the Void. Location: California	That's so great. I admit, though, I would probably be one of those skeptical people, looking for pamphlets or handouts.

05-10-2004, 10:56 AM	#10 (permalink)
skier Rawr! Location: Edmontania	People don't touch much in our society. I think it's great what this guy is doing, people need hugs. __________________ "Asking a bomb squad if an old bomb is still "real" is not the best thing to do if you want to save it." - denim

05-10-2004, 11:07 AM	#11 (permalink)
KellyC Comment or else!! Location: Home sweet home	Dammit..I need a hug right now.. __________________ Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe? Me: Shit happens.

05-10-2004, 11:11 AM	#13 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	I'm such a cynic... I'd have to walk around this guy rather than being in his path. I'd make the assumption that he was on drugs, looking for a handout, or otherwise unwell. Basically, not my problem for that moment, though I'd give him the apple that's in my bag. But a hug? Nope -- too creepy. __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

05-10-2004, 01:07 PM	#15 (permalink)
fhqwhgads Junkie	I'm a bit of a cynic too, unfortunately. I'd be checking to make sure my wallet is still there afterwards.

05-10-2004, 01:12 PM	#16 (permalink)
World's King Here Location: Denver City Denver	/me hugs his crotch __________________ heavy is the head that wears the crown

05-10-2004, 01:30 PM	#17 (permalink)
qtpye4u84 Flavor+noodles Location: oregon	I wanna free hug!!!!!!!!!!!! I need one today gerrrr bad day . __________________ The QTpie

05-10-2004, 01:37 PM	#19 (permalink)
qtpye4u84 Flavor+noodles Location: oregon	thank you!!!!!!! LOL __________________ The QTpie

05-10-2004, 02:44 PM	#20 (permalink)
afraidofninjas Tilted Location: New Brunswick, Canada	He's ruining my hug for hire business. How is a fella supposed to compete when some guy is giving it away for free? For shame... __________________ I am a new tie wearink

05-10-2004, 04:53 PM	#21 (permalink)
fhqwhgads Junkie	Think it's too much to ask for a hug with a happy ending??

05-10-2004, 06:27 PM	#22 (permalink)
Frenchie Crazy Location: Muncie, IN	I think I would be freaked out... it is in NYC, but ya never know. I might just hug the man.

05-10-2004, 07:44 PM	#23 (permalink)
quadro2000 All Possibility, Made Of Custard Location: New York, NY	Here's a link to the video for "Everyday" by Dave Matthews Band, which features full-frontal hugging. I love this video. It's a large RM download (23 MB): Everyday __________________ You have to laugh at yourself...because you'd cry your eyes out if you didn't. - Emily Saliers

05-11-2004, 02:43 AM	#24 (permalink)
Astrocloud Apocalypse Nerd	Bah, you get what you pay for... "Free" Hugs -I charge 2.95 for my hugs and they're better.

05-11-2004, 05:28 AM	#25 (permalink)
BoCo Fear the bunny Location: Hanging off the tip of the Right Wing	Get a hot chic to offer free hugs and the line would be a mile long. __________________ Activism is a way for useless people to feel important.

05-11-2004, 05:41 AM	#26 (permalink)
sexymama My own person -- his by choice Location: Lebell's arms	Sad, but true, I'd avoid him too. This world can be such a scary place; yet we are all so touch deprived. __________________ If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

05-11-2004, 08:36 AM	#27 (permalink)
Holo A Real American	I'd be interested in watching the hugged..there are so many types of hugs. Here are ones I've experienced: The I Hate You Hug- the typical sideways one arm hug that allows easy escape and little body contact. Sometimes contains a quick squeeze for slightly more intimacy. The Donation Hug- where they lean in but don't hug back, effectively "donating" their body to the hugger. The Real Hug- you squeeze with both arms firmly and attempt to encompass the person. (my favorite) The Man Hug-begins with a handshake and a shoulder-block like movement while still shaking hands. A variant is as before but with a quick pat on the back as well. Hug From Behind- I like giving these not receiving them. __________________ I happen to like the words "fuck", "cock", "pussy", "tits", "cunt", "twat", "shit" and even "bitch". As long as I am not using them to describe you, don't go telling me whether or not I can/should use them...that is, if you want me to continue refraining from using them to describe you. ~Prince

05-11-2004, 09:01 AM	#28 (permalink)
Polyphobic Runt Location: Denver	Is the hug where you both lean toward each other and touch shoulders and hands to the back the Donation hug? I have female friends that use that hug. Mainly so their chests don't touch whoever they are hugging. It's a crappy substitue for a real hug. I want full on chest to chest hugging, damn it. __________________ <--The great infidel-->

05-11-2004, 09:45 AM	#29 (permalink)
JStrider Poo-tee-weet? Location: The Woodlands, TX	hmmm... i wonder... if i did this... i wonder if i could hug a lot of hot girls... ... ... maybe its not as good if ive got alterior motives like that... __________________ -=JStrider=- ~Clatto Verata Nicto

05-11-2004, 01:28 PM	#35 (permalink)
iamweasel Upright Location: Brighton, England	Nice Story, I also don't think there are enough hugs in the world, I hug everyone and anyone me __________________ TO LET

01-21-2005, 06:19 AM	#36 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	Resurrecting this thead because today, January 21, is National Hugging Day... http:\\www.nationalhuggingday.com Don't forget to hug your friends today... __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

01-21-2005, 06:27 AM	#37 (permalink)
StanT © Location: Colorado	I'll run right in and hug all of the guys at work. This is Boulder, we've had our annual diversity pitch.

01-21-2005, 06:29 AM	#38 (permalink)
Mephisto2 Junkie	I hug my friends and family all the time. But I could do with one myself now and again, without having to initiate it myself. Mr Mephisto

01-21-2005, 06:52 AM	#39 (permalink)
cyrnel Adequate Location: In my angry-dome.	Good story. Good timing. I had lunch with both my sisters yesterday. One likes hugs like me, the other does the stand-offish, one-arm, trust issue thing. Not just to me, to everyone. It sure makes me believe we had different experiences growing up. I'll have to send this story to them & see if it won't help spark a family discussion.

01-21-2005, 07:52 AM	#40 (permalink)
lurkette My future is coming on Moderator Emeritus Location: east of the sun and west of the moon	I love hugs and I'm a good hugger. I'd absolutely hug this guy. I would still check to make sure I had all my belongings afterward. But as a woman, I don't think there's any way I would stand on the street offering free hugs. Sounds like a good way to get felt up by creepy people. Interesting how this experiment makes us think about our assumptions, prejudices and fears. __________________ "If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." - Anatole France