Curiously Entertaining Journalism Thread

[ARTelevision]

Last month we could have been in a big fat RED ALERT mode - not from terrorists but from OUTER SPACE!

We would have been thrown into major PANIC MODE - we were so close!!!

Read on to see what the heck we missed by a hair:

...................................

Earth almost put on impact alert

By Dr David Whitehouse
BBC News Online science editor

Astronomers have revealed how they came within minutes of alerting the world to a potential asteroid strike last month.
Some scientists believed on 13 January that a 30m object, later designated 2004 AS1, had a one-in-four chance of hitting the planet within 36 hours.

It could have caused local devastation and the researchers contemplated a call to President Bush before new data finally showed there was no danger.

The procedures for raising the alarm in such circumstances are now being revised.

At the time, the president's team would have been putting the final touches to a speech he was due to make the following day at the headquarters of Nasa, the US space agency.

In it he planned to reset the course of manned spaceflight, sending it back to the Moon and on to Mars, but he could have had something very different to say.


"If... the call had been made to the president it would have been disastrous."
-Brian Marsden, Minor Planet Center

He could have begun by warning the world it was about to be hit by a space rock.
Bush would not have known where it would impact - only somewhere in the Northern Hemisphere. Experts would have been bouncing radar signals off the huge rock as he spoke in order to get more information about its trajectory.

At about 30m wide, the asteroid was cosmic small fry, not the type of thing to wipe out the dinosaurs or threaten our species, but still big enough to cause considerable damage after exploding in the atmosphere.

Potentially, the loss of life could have been much worse than 11 September.

In the end, Bush made no such announcement, but astronomers have admitted they were on the verge of making the call.

Shall we call the President?

In a paper presented at this week's Planetary Protection conference in California, veteran asteroid researcher Clark Chapman calls it a "nine-hour crisis".

He explains how word reached the astronomical community of an asteroid that had just been discovered by the twin optical telescopes of the Linear automated sky survey in New Mexico.


The Minor Planet Center in Massachusetts - the clearing house for such observations - posted details on the internet requesting attention from astronomers, one of whom noticed something peculiar.
The object was expected to grow 40-times brighter in the next day - a possible sign that it was getting closer, very rapidly.

But with data from just four observations available, the uncertainties were large. There were many possible orbits the object could be on, and the majority of them did not threaten the Earth.

What to do? Tell the world about the uncertain situation or wait for more data?

For some astronomers, events reached a crescendo when Steven Chesley, a researcher at Nasa's Jet Propulsion Laboratory, looked at the available data and sent an e-mail saying the asteroid had a 25% chance of striking the Earth's Northern Hemisphere in a few days.

It was then that astronomers Clark Chapman and David Morrison, chair of the International Astronomical Union's Working Group on Near Earth Objects, contemplated picking up the telephone to the White House.

'Jumped the gun'

But many astronomers did not agree that waking up President Bush would have been wise.

"They completely misread the situation," said Benny Peiser of Liverpool John Moores University in the UK. "There was plenty of time to get other observers on the job."

Others also believe the call would have been premature.

"That would have jumped the gun before we knew much about the object," said Brian Marsden, of the Minor Planet Center.

"I find it incredible that such action was contemplated on the basis of just four observations. That is just not enough to yield a sensible orbit.
"There was no need to panic as it was obvious that the situation would have been resolved, one way or another, in another hour or two," he told BBC News Online.

Fortunately for all concerned, shortly after the ominous Chesley e-mail, an amateur astronomer managed to dodge the clouds and take a picture of a blank patch of sky.

This was significant because if 2004 AS1 really was going to hit the Earth, it would have been in the amateur's sights. The fact that it was absent meant the rock would not strike us.

But Chapman says in his presentation that if it had been cloudy, and no more observations could have been obtained at the time, he would have raised the alarm.

Marsden disagrees. "If it had been cloudy and the call had been made to the President it would have been disastrous."

Many astronomers recognise that they a false alarm could have brought ridicule on their profession. They are calling for more planning and less panic if it should happen for real next time.

And 2004 AS1? It turned out to be bigger than anyone had thought - about 500m wide. It eventually passed the Earth at a distance of about 12 million km - 32 times the Earth-Moon distance, posing no danger to us whatsoever.


Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/h...re/3517319.stm

Published: 2004/02/24 17:33:49 GMT

..............................................

Just think of how MUCH WORSE IT COULD HAVE ALKMOST BEEN than it is!!!

Makes ya stop and think, does it not?

[ARTelevision]

Woman dies watching Christ film
From correspondents in Salt Lake City
27feb04

A WOMAN watching Mel Gibson's new film The Passion of the Christ collapsed during the the final, bloody crucifixion scene and later died.

While people were helping the woman, identified as 57-year-old Peggy Law Scott, in Wichita, Kansas, the lights were turned on and moviegoers were ushered out. She later died at a hospital. No cause of death was immediately given.
The opening of The Passion of the Christ drew everyone from conservative churchgoers to confrontational New Yorkers more than willing to roll out their soapboxes as screenings got under way across the United States.

But the gore - and in some cases, church rules - kept some of the most devout Christians away.

In Salt Lake City, curiosity about the film among many Mormons was outweighed by church teachings that discourage viewing R-rated movies, which are not recommended for people under 17 years old.

"I don't think our Lord would want me to see an R-rated film about his son," said 20-year-old Shawn Watts, a Mormon missionary.

Watts said he was intrigued but would need permission from his bishop, since missionaries are not allowed to watch films or television under church protocol. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints stresses family values and frowns upon members seeing R-rated films.

Despite concerns about violence and accusations that the film fuels anti-Semitism, The Passion made a bundle on its Ash Wednesday opening.

The movie took in an estimated $US15 million to $US20 million ($19.49 million to $25.99 million) after just one day of release, remarkable for a religious-themed movie. It opened in more than 3000 theatres in the United States - an unusually large release for a religious film with English subtitles to translate the Latin and Aramaic its characters speak.

Among the legions that saw The Passion, many streamed out of movie theatres feeling as if they themselves had been through a flogging.

"It sort of felt like you were coming to watch an execution," said Peter Hitchins, whose wife, Amy, wiped away tears as they left a movie theatre in Charlotte, North Carolina.

"It's a little bit more brutal than you would think," said a sobbing Kim Galbreath, 29, in the Dallas suburb of Plano in Texas. "I mean, there were times when you felt like it was too much. But I dare anybody not to believe after watching it."

Directed, produced and co-written by Gibson, the film has received mixed reviews from critics. Some have praised Gibson's commitment to his subject. Others see it as excessively bloody, obsessed with cruelty and unfair in its portrayal of Jews.

Abraham Foxman, national director of the Anti-Defamation League who saw The Passion before opening day, said he was still worried about reactions to the film when it comes out in places like Argentina and Europe, where there has been less debate about its content.

"We know the power of images, and we know the power of a star with a reputation around the world, and this concerns us," Foxman said.

In New York, famous for its love of raucous debate, members of the New Black Panther Party gathered outside a theatre, saying the film's biggest problem is obvious: Jesus wasn't white.

"We call this the greatest story never told," said Divine Allah, a youth minister in the group, citing a biblical verse that describes Jesus with woolly hair and brown skin.

Even People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals sounded off in the Big Apple - but this time, it was in support of the film, which they said underscored the brutality of violence.

"It points out our belief in the unacceptability of violence and how animals suffer the same pain humans do," said Corinne Ferraro, 29.

.................................

There' just so darn much that's curiously entertaining about this movie that it has set a new mark in the annals of weirdness.

I'm sorry, I just can't take Mel Gibson seriously - as an actor, director, producer, or thinker.
..................................

I guess I'm not the only one who feels this way:

'I'm not going to spend $9 just for a few
laughs'

-- CBS's Andy Rooney to Don Imus on
why he won't see PASSION OF CHRIST....

[txlovely]

Man wears diaper to apply for job
February 26, 2004 (Pequannock, New Jersey) — Dress for success probably doesn't include wearing a diaper.

Authorities in northern New Jersey charge that William Rhode the Third went to a Roman Catholic school seeking a job application. Police say the 53-year-old Paterson man was wearing a diaper and pink stretch pants. According to police, Rhode pooped in his diaper when officials at the Holy Spirit School refused to give him a job application.

Police caught him a short time later near a local supermarket.

He faces child endangerment charges and is being held on $75,000 bail. A judge has also ordered a mental exam for Rhode.


Copyright 2003 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
..............
How do you like the pooping on cue? Crazy.
I thought I'd lighten the tone after the Passion post

[ARTelevision]

yes, txlovely,
I hear there are web sites for these folks.
I guess he mistook real life for one a' them there deals...

[ARTelevision]

I have a fond appreciation for debunkology - the art and science of debunking myths that are promolgated among us regarding things like what is and what is not healthful.

Here's several debunkological items that crossed my desk last week. The site they're from is pretty good on a regular basis. There's a radio spot that's produced in which the transcripts are first published.
.......................

February 26, 2004:
Fascinating Medical News II
Interview with Dr. Dean Edell, author of Life, Liberty & The Pursuit Of Healthiness


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike Carruthers:
People tend to get more colds in the cold weather, but
you can't catch a cold by being out in the cold.

Dean Edell:
We've thrown naked people into snow banks, and put
them in freezers multiple times to try to disprove
this one. And basically the cold weather has nothing
to do with it, except that in the cold weather we go
indoors more and viruses transmit more easily indoors,
and that's why you get more colds in the winter.

Dr. Dean Edell, author of the book Life, Liberty & The
Pursuit Of Healthiness, says people who carry
around water bottles with them all day may be overdoing it a little.

There've been two studies recently to find that you
just don't need to take 8 glasses of water a day,
because everything you eat is water; vegetables are
95% water, white bread is 40% water, steak is 60%
water. So it's a myth that you need to drink all this water.

And Dr. Edell says the latest research on vitamin
supplements is more than a little discouraging.

Most of the big double-blind studies where you give
half the people real vitamins and supplements, half
the people phony ones, find them worthless. Once again
don't shoot the messenger; I'm just conveying the
scientific evidence. As a matter of fact there may be
a government warning coming out warning certain groups
of people not to take antioxidants. For instance, smokers
get more cancer when they take antioxidants. We're
not exactly sure why this is, but the studies with
vitamin E, and vitamin C, and vitamin A, and all the B
vitamins have shown no impact on heart disease and
cancer.

somethingyoushouldknow.net

[ARTelevision]

To my way of thinging the definitions of "superstition" and "religion" could be conveniently conflated.

Existentially, I don't see a difference - except that religion is typically infused with massive doses of wishful thinking and mind-numbing socio-psychological pressure.

As a political conservative, I part company with those who prefer a blend of politics and religion. But, judging by the box office of the film in question, there does seem to be the standard combo of religion and superstition in equal doses as reported below:

.................
'666' On 'Passion' Tickets Causes Stir

Associated Press
POSTED: 10:16 am EST March 1, 2004
UPDATED: 1:51 pm EST March 1, 2004

ROME, Ga. -- Tickets at one movie theater screening Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ" are being deemed decidedly unholy.

The number 666, which many Christians recognize as the "mark of the beast," is appearing on movie tickets for Gibson's film at a Georgia theater, drawing complaints from some moviegoers.

The machine that prints tickets assigned the number 666 as a prefix on all the tickets for the film, said Gary Smith, owner of the Movies at Berry Square in northwest Georgia. The 666 begins a series of numbers that are listed below the name of the movie, the date, time and price.

"It's from our computer and it's absolutely a coincidence," Smith said. "It has nothing to do with the film company or any vendor. It's completely in our computer."

In the Bible, the book of Revelation says 666 is the "number of the beast," usually interpreted as Satan or the Antichrist.

Several patrons have made comments about the numbers, and one person who was uncomfortable having 666 on her ticket asked for a pass to be substituted for a ticket.

"A lot of people have asked what the numbers mean, some said it seemed odd, some said it was inappropriate," said theater employee Erica Diaz.

The movie, which opened Wednesday, is a bloody depiction of Christ's final hours and crucifixion.

[ARTelevision]

I forget where I put my wallet and my keys. I forget people's names. I forget a lot of things. I like it that way. I think it would be excruciating to have a memory as good as do these folks:

............................................


The Masters of Memory Lane By Michelle Delio
Story location: http://www.wired.com/news/culture/0,1284,62492,00.html

02:00 AM Mar. 02, 2004 PT

NEW YORK -- A few hours ago we had been a small crowd of strangers. But we quickly became a support group, desperately trying to convince each other that mediocre memory skills don't necessarily imply a complete lack of intelligence.

Humiliated by the scene taking place in front of us, it was hard to recall we'd started the day feeling somewhat smug about our own mental abilities. After all, who spends a beautiful springlike Saturday watching a memory competition but people who figure that they, too, are reasonably intelligent?

But it sure was hard not to feel stupid watching three dozen people who had, in just five minutes, memorized the positions of 52 cards in a shuffled deck and were now happily organizing cards in a new deck into the same order as the pack they had memorized.

"I can feel my brain curling up into a fetal position in shame," whispered one onlooker, who identified himself as a professor of statistical science at a New York university. "I feel very small and very ... limited right now."

We couldn't even comfort ourselves with the idea that the people standing on stage were an elite group with a particular penchant for instant recall. The organizers and competitors in the seventh annual U.S. Memory Championship, held in New York on Saturday, had already taken pains to tell us that we too could perform amazing feats like memorizing a string of 100-plus random numbers if we just practiced.

"This is making me nauseous. I have brain cramps," said Nancy Heeden, a graphic artist who attended the event. "I feel like I should just go home, read a crappy romance novel and give up all my pretensions of being an intellectual. I'm not worthy."

After a series of five tests that apparently were more grueling for onlookers than for contestants, the title of U.S. Memory Champion was won by Scott Hagwood, a one-time engineer from Fayetteville, North Carolina.

Hagwood has won the title three times previously, and will now represent the United States in the 2004 World Memory Championships in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, this September. Hagwood didn't come in first in all the contests on Saturday, but he aced the card memorization test, accurately recalling each card's position in his deck in just over two minutes.

That skill will come in handy in the international competition, which evidently makes the national games look like child's play.

The three-day international event pits mnemonic experts from around the globe in competitions that include memorizing a previously unpublished and non-rhyming lengthy poem in 15 minutes, and writing it down complete with proper spelling and punctuation; memorizing a list of 400 random words and reciting them back in order; and the dreaded "binary competition," in which competitors have a half hour to memorize a random string of thousands of 1s and 0s.

In last year's international competition, Hagwood managed to recall 552 numbers in the binary string. Competitor Gunther Karsten remembered 3,009. Hagwood came in 12th out of 46 contestants in 2003; this year he hopes to place in the top five.

Hagwood said he wasn't born with an outstanding ability to memorize, and claims anyone can learn the skill. There are specific techniques that mnemonic masters use -- such as associating images with each number and suit when memorizing card positions -- but in general it all comes down to keeping your brain synapses in good working order.

To do that, Hagwood, who gives seminars on how to improve memory skills, advises people to use their non-dominant hand in daily chores, do crosswords and puzzles, play chess, take a different route on your daily commute, learn to tango, play an instrument and speak another language.

No matter how challenging your job is, it isn't demanding enough. Brains thrive on constant challenge, so presenting them with the same activities that they already excel at doesn't keep the gray matter in top shape. You can, however, substitute the waltz for tango lessons -- just ensure that you have a good balance of fresh thinking and activities built into your life.

Online memory games and exercises are provided for the curious or the hopeful memory contestant in training, including a series of exercises offered by the reigning world memory champ, Andi Bell. Bell recently memorized the positions of 52 cards in 100 decks, and then answered questions such as "What is the 17th card in the 22nd deck?"

He got 89 out of 100 questions right, and ruefully says it wasn't his best performance.

[ARTelevision]

The way this is written is curiously entertaining to me. It's from the Sydney Morning Herald...

I especially like the parts about "armour-piercing warhead(s)"

..................

Viagra users' sperm short on firepower
Date: April 27 2004


Men who use the anti-impotence drug Viagra could be impairing their fertility, say scientists, after laboratory experiments indicated the drug can damage sperm.

They are now warning younger men to use caution before taking the drug recreationally.

Researchers from Queen's University in Belfast found that sperm exposed to Viagra became more active. But at the same time a mechanism used by sperm to penetrate the egg wall during fertilisation was greatly speeded up.

Known as the "acrosome reaction", it involves firing an armour-piercing warhead of digestive enzymes at the egg.

If the sperm release their "ammunition" too early, before reaching the egg, they do not get another shot and are rendered infertile. The study showed that this was likely to happen to sperm exposed to Viagra.

The university's Sheena Lewis said: "The fact that this sperm function is impaired by the presence of Viagra is worrying."

The scientists, who presented their findings to a recent British Fertility Society conference, studied 45 samples of semen. Half were treated in the lab with a dose of Viagra equivalent to the amount in the blood of a man who has taken a 100-milligram pill.

These sperm were found to be more motile than untreated sperm: they had more energy and moved around more.

This would normally be considered a positive effect, since sperm motility is linked to fertility. But the extra energy given to the sperm also seemed to speed up the acrosome reaction. Most of the untreated sperm spontaneously released their acrosome enzymes after about three hours.

But sperm exposed to Viagra released the enzymes after only one hour. Although no attempt was made to fertilise eggs, this was too fast to have allowed successful fertilisation in a real-life situation.

Dr Lewis said while Viagra had become popular for sexual enhancement, men should exercise caution if hoping to start a family.

[ARTelevision]

This one just passed my screen today and it's already one of my favorite stories. I have a bunch of traffic cones around here and use them all the time for setting off work or roadway areas. I guess I just like the image of these robotic self-propelled shapes moving around on their own. The whole story is fascinating...

...............

Robotic traffic cones swarm onto highways


19:00 28 April 04

Exclusive from New Scientist Print Edition.

Herds of robotic traffic cones could soon be swarming onto a highway, closing down lanes and slowing the traffic.

The new road markers have been developed by Shane Farritor, a roboticist at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, in a bid to help reduce the $100 billion per year that the Department of Transportation estimates is lost to the US economy through accidents and delays caused by highway lane closures.

The self-propelled markers take the form of robotic three-wheeled bases for the brightly coloured barrels that are set out to demarcate road repair zones. Farritor says they can open and close traffic lanes faster and more safely than humans.

The markers are delivered to the roadside by a specially equipped truck, from which an operator controls their deployment using a laptop computer. Each fleet of robots is made up of a lead robot or "shepherd", which is equipped with a Global Positioning System satellite navigation receiver, plus a number of less expensive "dumb" units.

The laptop screen displays an image of the road, captured by a camera mounted on top of the truck. Using software developed by Farritor's team, the operator marks on the screen where the barrels should be placed.


Dead reckoning


From this the software calculates the GPS coordinates of the point where the shepherd should be placed, and this is sent to the shepherd via a radio link. The shepherd takes up its position, and also tells the other markers, by radio, where to go. They then use dead reckoning - counting how many times their wheels turn, for instance - to work out their position.

Each robotic base has two electric motors, powered by a 12-volt lead-acid battery, which drive two 20-centimetre-diameter wheels. This allows the robot bases to turn on the spot, and travel at up to 1.3 metres per second - about walking pace.

The shepherd checks its "sheep" are in the right place using a laser-based radar (or "lidar") system to correct any positional errors. The lidar also has a safety role. If a marker is detected consistently straying out of position, the shepherd moves it out of harm's way and shuts it down.

On a test track, Farritor and his team used a swarm of six markers to form wedge-shaped lane barriers. He says they were able to achieve an accuracy close to that of humans.


Cost cutting


"Our tests proved these robots can work in teams to provide traffic control," he says. "Deploying and retrieving highway markers on open roads is hazardous so the robots will reduce risks for workmen," he adds.

Farritor says the next steps will be to improve the graphical positioning software on the PC and to cut the cost of the cones so the idea can be commercialised.

The prototypes cost $700 each, but the team aims to reduce that to $200 by using cheaper motors. "At that price I believe the savings will mean it will still be affordable if one dies in the line of duty," he says.

Andrew Howard, head of road safety for the AA Motoring Trust in the UK, welcomed the idea. "They could be a big help on lanes that are shut during quiet times and reopened during peak traffic periods," he says.

[moonstrucksoul]

two very interesting stories Art,

as for the first one, I am curious if they are long term effects, only time will tell. but I wouldn't think that anyone taking viagra was interested in having 'that' night be the one where they conceived their child. but they could be.

the second one was cool. despite the fact that it would reduce jobs for people who are not as educated as a robotics engineer, it could save lives and help expediate work done by the DOT.

[ARTelevision]

yeah...
I like thinking of them rubber dunce hats getting a high-tech upgrade!

[ARTelevision]

Childless couple told to try sex

A German couple who went to a fertility clinic after eight years of marriage have found out why they are still childless - they weren't having sex.

The University Clinic of Lubek said they had never heard of a case like it after examining the couple who went to see them last month for fertility tests.

Doctors subjected them to a series of examinations and found they were both apparently fertile, and should have had no trouble conceiving.

A clinic spokesman said: "When we asked them how often they had had sex, they looked blank, and said: "What do you mean?".

"We are not talking retarded people here, but a couple who were brought up in a religious environment who were simply unaware, after eight years of marriage, of the physical requirements necessary to procreate."

The 30-year-old wife and her 36-year-old husband are now being given sex therapy lessons while the university clinic undertakes a study to try to find out if there are more couples with a similar lack of sex education.

...

heh heh.

Story from Ananova today - linked from Drudge.

[ARTelevision]

dog days of justice

N.Y. Lawyer Fined for Barking at Witness

May 21, 7:27 AM (ET)

By SAMUEL MAULL

NEW YORK (AP) - A lawyer who barked like a dog at a witness during a deposition has been fined $8,500 for misconduct and harassment of opponents.

The lawyer, David Fink, made false statements, failed to comply with court orders and engaged in frivolous conduct during a breach of contract suit over home furnishing designs, Manhattan state Supreme Court Justice Charles Ramos said.

Fink's client Carl Levine represents designers of home furnishings to manufacturers and other licensees. He sued a married couple, Laurette Angsten and Kit Kittle, alleging they did not pay him money they owed for marketing their products.

During a deposition in which Kittle was giving sworn statements on Jan. 16, 2002, he referred to letters he had received from Fink. He called them threatening, "mad dog lawyer" letters, according to Kittle's lawyer, Samuel Friedman.

At the continuation of the deposition the next day, Friedman said, Fink started barking like a dog when Kittle was asked about the letters by Donald Creadore, the lawyer who had taken over Levine's case from Fink.

Friedman said Fink "behaved in a very mocking manner, making the witness feel intimidated, speaking over other people and making it difficult for the court reporter to record much of anything."

Friedman complained to Ramos about Fink's behavior.

"Mr. Fink was barking up the wrong tree," the lawyer quipped as he recalled the deposition. "I don't know what motivated him to bark."

After having a special referee review Fink's behavior, Ramos followed the recommendations and fined Fink, according to the judge's 54-page decision, which was published Thursday. The lawyer had already been assessed another $1,400 for previous misconduct in the case.

The special referee also recommended that Ramos report Fink to the disciplinary committee that monitors lawyers' conduct. Ramos' decision did not reveal whether he reported Fink, and Friedman said he did not know whether the judge had done so.

Fink did not return calls for comment. Creadore said he had no comment.

Meanwhile, the judge ruled against Levine in the underlying case, saying he was not entitled to royalties or commissions from Kittle and Angsten.
.....

heh heh.
I appreciate the level of professionalism here...nyuk nyuk.

He should write a howl-to book.
Or maybe open a paw shop next to his office.
He could advertise his services in the bone book - cheaper than the Yellow (snow) Pages.
Then his clients could go next door and get the fang of it.

[ARTelevision]

Something about unanticipated explosions seems curiously entertaining to me, I suppose:

BLACKSVILLE, W.Va. (AP) - Warning: smoking in the toilet can be dangerous. A portable toilet exploded Tuesday after a man who was inside it lit a cigarette.

Emergency workers said the man was not severely injured and drove himself to Clay-Battelle Community Health Center. He was later transferred to Ruby Memorial Hospital. His name and condition were not available Wednesday.

The explosion, which occurred in Blacksville, resulted from a buildup of methane gas inside the portable toilet. The methane did not "take too kindly" to the lit cigarette, said a spokeswoman for Monongalia Emergency Medical Services.

Jul 15, 7:25 AM (ET)

[ARTelevision]

I guess this is becoming the odd explosions thread.
It's entirely coincidental, far as I can tell.
But every time I think of adding to it - it turns out it's another explosive development...

...............................................
From Fox News:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,127839,00.html

Georgia Man's Pants Explode!

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

A Georgia man's experience only goes to prove what most people take as common sense: Don't try to mix dangerous chemicals in your pants.

According to newspaper reports, three Walker County social workers were visiting Daniel Gabriel Doyle, 39, of LaFayette, last Tuesday. As he sat in their car filling out paperwork, his pants exploded.

"He kept fiddling with his front right pants pocket," Patrick Stanfield, commander of the Lookout Mountain Judicial Circuit Drug Task Force, told the Walker County Messenger. "All of a sudden, a loud bang happened, and fire shot from his pocket. It damaged the inside of the state vehicle and burned clothing on the case workers."

Apparently, Doyle had combined red phosphorus (search) and iodine (search), two chemicals used to make methamphetamine, in a film canister. He then stuck the canister in his pocket when the social workers showed up.

"He didn't know what he was doing, and it started boiling on his leg," Stanfield said.

The reaction of the two chemicals heats up to about 278 degrees Fahrenheit before exploding, according to the Messenger.

"The state might have to destroy the vehicle," Stanfield said. "The car is contaminated now."

Sheriff's deputies found a meth lab on the premises and arrested Tammy Conley, 29, as well as Doyle, according to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

The case workers were treated for minor injuries in LaFayette. Doyle was taken to Erlanger Medical Center (search) in nearby Chattanooga, Tenn., with second- and third-degree burns to his testicles and leg.

By Friday he was in the Walker County Jail, charged with manufacture and possession of methamphetamine.

"That was one for the books," Walker County sheriff's Maj. Hill Morrison told the Journal-Constitution. "I've been in this business for more than 35 years, and that's a first."

[NoSoup]

Very entertaining read, Art -

I find it amazing that a group of scientists are convinced that a space rock is potentially going to cause massive destruction when it collides with earth, and yet when I read about the incident it seems like it was published almost as an afterthought...

I would be interested in other near-false alarms we have had in other large scale destruction incidents...

[ARTelevision]

During this US election year, it's always good to have some perspective on some of the alternatives that are out there for running countries. Here's one that is both tragic and humorous in perverse ways...

This guy makes the differences between Bush and Kerry look very minor by comparison.
.................................................

Swaziland's spendthrift King takes his 13th wife

By Basildon Peta, Southern Africa Correspondent
06 September 2004

While his tiny country reels under the burdens of mismanagement, food shortages and Africa's worst Aids crisis, the attention of Swaziland's young King Mswati remains focused on his own lavish lifestyle.

Mswati III, sub-Saharan Africa's last absolute monarch, has reportedly chosen a 16-year-old girl to become his 13th wife after an annual ceremony at which thousands of bare-breasted girls were paraded for him to pick a new consort.

The girl, a Miss Teenage Swaziland finalist, is now in seclusion after being taken by Mswati's royal guards. The 36-year-old king caused a furore earlier this year when he announced plans to invest more than £5.6m in building palaces for each of his wives. He was earlier forced to drop plans to spend £28m on a jet for his exclusive use. The deal fell through but the kingdom lost a £2.8m downpayment.

Despite the mass poverty in his country, Mswati's authoritarian rule and extravagance have become legendary in Africa. He can close newspapers at will, and overturn court decisions.

Apart from the annual inxwala reed dance festival, at which bare-breasted girls parade before him, Mswati can send his bodyguards to abduct into the royal household any girl of his choosing at any other time.

That habit plunged his kingdom into chaos last year when a mother took Mswati to court demanding that he return her 18-year-old daughter. But Lindiwe Dlamini lost her battle when her daughter, Zena Mahlangu, opted for the lavish lifestyle of Mswati's royal household over the poverty that afflicts more than 90 per cent of Mswati's 1.2 million subjects.

Critics have accused the king of not setting a good example in a country ravaged by Aids. About 40 per cent of all adults are infected. But he has shown no signs of relenting.

Mswati inherited the country at the age of 18 from his father, King Sobhuza, who died in 1982, aged 83. King Sobhuza officially had about 120 wives but unofficial estimates say the number was even higher

from: http://news.independent.co.uk

[ARTelevision]

washingtonpost.com
Between Metro and Cell User, a Disconnect
Officer Shoves, Arrests Pregnant Woman Over Loud Call
By Lyndsey Layton
Washington Post Staff Writer
Tuesday, September 28, 2004; Page A01


Sakinah Aaron was walking into the bus area at the Wheaton Metro station several weeks ago, talking loudly on her Motorola cell phone. A little too loudly for Officer George Saoutis of the Metro Transit Police.

The police officer told Aaron, who is five months pregnant, to lower her voice. She told the officer he had no right to tell her how to speak into her cell phone.

Their verbal dispute quickly escalated, and Saoutis grabbed Aaron by the arm and pushed her to the ground. He handcuffed the 23-year-old woman, called for backup and took her to a cell where she was held for three hours before being released to her aunt. She was charged with two misdemeanors: "disorderly manner that disturbed the public peace" and resisting arrest.

Those are the facts on which both sides agree.

They interpret the events of Sept. 9 very differently.

Transit Police and some Metro officials say Saoutis was protecting the peace by removing a woman who had overstepped the boundaries of civil behavior because she was loudly cursing into her phone.

They say that cell phones have become just another instrument of loutish behavior in the public space and that they are fighting a dramatic deterioration of manners in the transit system.

"We need better enforcement to allow people to know we are serious and want to maintain the high-quality level of the system," said Robert J. Smith, chairman of the Metro board, adding that "ranting youth" have become a plague on the subway. "This isn't Montana. We live in a very dense region, and people are on top of each other all the time."

Smith, who refuses to carry a cell phone, said he thinks Metro riders need to use the devices with care. "We wouldn't allow someone to come into the U.S. Capitol Rotunda and shout obscenities into a cell phone," he said.

But Aaron and some defenders of free speech say the Transit Police are the ones who overstepped boundaries by making a crime out of conversation and pushing a pregnant woman to her knees. The incident took place out of doors and not in the confines of a rail car or bus, they note.

And they point to a string of other incidents, including the July arrest of a 45-year-old woman for chewing a PayDay candy bar and the 2000 arrest of a 12-year-old girl for eating a french fry, that are earning the Transit Police a national reputation as an agency itching to lock up riders.

"Technically, the police officer is right, but the result is wrong," said D.C. Council member Jim Graham (D-Ward 1), who represents the city on the Metro board. "How do we prevent minor transgressions escalating into major problems? It's not what any of us want. We don't want pregnant women booked for loud cell phone conversations. We don't want 12-year-old girls in handcuffs for eating a single french fry. Whether it's training or guidance to our officers, we have to do something."

Johnny Barnes, executive director of the Washington area chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union, called Aaron's arrest "troubling."

"There seems to be an unusual attention paid to activities of patrons," Barnes said. "One should be able to ride the Metro and exercise a range of rights without fear of intervention from Metro police."

Aaron, who lives in Silver Spring and works as a clerk at the Food and Drug Administration, said she was talking to her fiance on her cell phone as she walked toward the bus bay about 4:45 p.m. Sept. 9 to catch the Route C4 Metrobus.

"Our phone conversation had ended," she said. "I'm walking down the stairs and the transit cop said, 'You have to lower your voice, ma'am.' I said, 'You can't tell me how loud I can talk.' He said, 'I can arrest you,' and he grabbed my arm. I said, 'What are you doing? I'm pregnant! Oh, so you want to flex some muscle today?' He grabbed my hand, and we struggled."

Aaron acknowledged that she was loud on the phone but said she wasn't cursing and lobbed a profanity only after Saoutis grabbed her.

After her release that night, Aaron went to Holy Cross Hospital and was treated in the emergency room for a bruise she said was a result of Saoutis's pushing her to the ground and placing his knee on her upper back.

Saoutis, who is about to complete his first year on the job with the Transit Police, was not available for an interview yesterday, according to Deputy Chief Tim Gronau.

Gronau said his officer properly enforced the law and arrested Aaron because it was clear she wasn't taking his warning seriously.

"We're not either pro or negative cell phones," he said. "The issue is [that] the volume of her conversation, coupled with the language, is not conducive to socially accepted standards of behavior."

..............

Yeah, I think we can relate to this story. It used to be seeing folks at phonebooths - waving their hands expressively to everyone in view except the person they're talking to, cursing, yelling. Sometimes it's an entertaining diversion and sometimes it's downright criminal...I guess.

"This isn't Montana" - heh heh.

[ARTelevision]

This one is pretty sad. The thing is though, for someone like myself, whose childhood religious tutelage was filled with amazing, miraculous, and terrible stories of Catholic saints, it has an eerie resemblance to those bizarre tales...

Indian girl who weeps stones in plea for help

By Justin Huggler in Delhi
19 October 2004


The girl who wept stones: it sounds like something out of a Gabriel Garcia Marquez novel. But according to reports from Jharkhand state in eastern India it is all too real.

A 15-year-old girl called Savitri been admitted to hospital suffering from tiny stones that emerge from the corners of her eyes. Doctors say they have never seen anything like it, and they cannot explain it.

At the girl's village in Jharkhand, they have two explanations. Either she is possessed by an evil spirit, or she is an incarnation of a goddess. But for Savitri, the condition is anything but a blessing. Before the stones emerge, she suffers from excruciating pain in her head. Tiny stones emerge from her ears, nose and mouth as well.

"In some cases, stones have come out from the nose and the ear of some people," said Dr Ragho Saran, an ear, nose and throat specialist who has treated Savitri. "But this is the first time I have even heard of stones coming out of the eyes. Stones are formed due to the high level of calcium in the body. But they are generally found in the gall bladder and kidney."

Savitri and her family are desperate for a cure. Her bedside at the Rajendra Institute of Medical Science has been overrun by reporters, but the family say no one has been able to offer medical help.

from independent.co.uk

[ARTelevision]

This one reminds me of a sitcom bit.
It's curiously and satisfyingly perverse, I think:
....................

2004-12-09 19:26:00

People drop sink down on car to shut the alarm up

The people, who live in one of Moscow's apartment blocks, were infuriated with the unceasing and irritating sound of the car alarm outside. Someone, who was desperately seeking silence and tranquility, dropped a sink down on the car. The car owner is grieving, but his neighbors are happy to enjoy the silence.

The press service of Moscow's southern police administration reported that someone threw a sink out of a window of apartment block 30 in Kaspiiski Street in Moscow. The sink fell down on the Zhiguli car, which was parked near the building. The sink considerably damaged the roof of the car. "The car owner reported the incident, but we have not been able to find the person, who threw the sink out of the window yet. Most likely, one of the neighbors did that to get rid of the long-lasting alarm noise that annoyed them at night," a police officer said.

It was not the first occurrence, when people lynched the owners of noisy cars. The car alarm disturbs too many people, who try to sleep in their homes at night after a hard day at work. One can call the police and complain of the car noise. The police will promise to take measures, although such measures do not bring any good, as a rule, and the honking goes on.

It is noteworthy that car owners could easily avoid people's anger - they only need to make their cars quiet. Everything depends on the alarm settings. Incorrect settings can make the car alarm even wind-sensitive.

from funreports.com

[bigoldalphamale]

somehow, i dont think that would "fly" in the states.

[ARTelevision]

Here's one that at this point in my life and the history of the world strikes me as so serious it's silly or so silly it's serious - so I post it here because it is curiously amusing to me in a sick sad way:

from The Washington Times online edition

Allah off the Richter scale


By Arnaud de Borchgrave
THE WASHINGTON TIMES


The killer wave that swallowed tens of thousands of Muslims was an act of Allah designed to punish the Christians. So went the convoluted logic of some Muslim imams in recent sermons from Saudi Arabia to the Palestinian territories.
If it weren't for the diligent monitoring of Muslim clerics by the Middle East Media Research Institute (MEMRI), Americans would be in the dark about the outpourings of dangerous drivel fed to devout Muslims gathered in mosques for Friday prayers.

Saudi cleric Muhammad Al-Munajiid explained God's tsunami punishment of Christians stemmed from "the Christian holidays [that] are accompanied by forbidden things, by immorality, abomination, adultery, alcohol, drunken dancing and revelry. A belly dancer costs 2,500 pounds a minute and a singer costs 50,000 pounds an hour, and they hop from one hotel to another from night to dawn.
"Then they spend the entire night defying Allah. ... At the height of immorality, Allah took revenge on these criminals. ... Allah struck them with an earthquake. He finished off the Richter scale. All nine levels gone."
In the same vein, Sheikh Mudeiris, at a Palestinian Friday sermon in Gaza, said, "When oppression and corruption increase, the law of equilibrium applies. I can see in your eyes you are wondering what is the 'universal law of equilibrium.' This law is a divine law. If people are remiss in implementing God's law and in being zealous and vengeful for His sake, Allah unleashes his soldiers in action to take revenge."
In Saudi Arabia, one of last year's measures to counter mosque-generated violence was a ban on imam's using the word "jihad," or holy warrior. But the content hadn't changed much without the banned word. Saudi cleric 'Aed Al-Qarni told the worshippers, "Throats must be slit and skulls must be shattered. This is the path to victory." He was reacting to the death of a brother "killed by the brothers of apes and pigs, the murderers of the prophets." In case there was any doubt, he was referring to the Jews of Israel.
He then deplored lamented the lack of Muslim backbone: "One billion two hundred million nobodies. We are incapable of taking action, of being useful, of harming the Jews. The most people do today is to verbally protest over the TV channels or to demonstrate. What is the use of this? ... We must sacrifice people like Abd Al-Aziz Al-Rantisi, and Ahmad Yassin, and thousands of others. Houses and young men must be sacrificed. Throats must be slit and skulls must be shattered. This is the path to victory, to shahada and to sacrifice."
Imam Al-Qani went to explain the "idolatrous" people of Vietnam, Cambodia and South Africa, "nations with no calling or divine law make sacrifices ... in people, blood and souls. All the more reason we should too, the nation of Islam."
Saudi clerics have also urged Iraqis to resist "the American occupation of Iraq." They can urge jihad without the proscribed word for holy war.
Saudi Sheikh Fawzan Fawzan said God's unlisted number informed him the tsunami was punishment for homosexual behavior and fornication over Christmas, even if the victims are Muslims. "All that's left for us to do," he said, "is to ask for forgiveness. We must atone for our sins, and for the acts of the stupid people among us. ... We must fight fornication, homosexuality, usury, fight the corruption on the face of the Earth, and the disregard of the lives of protected people."

Arnaud de Borchgrave is editor at large of The Washington Times and of United Press International.


-------------------

Really now, what's to do about this sort of thing ?
At some point it's either read 'em and weep or note the absurdity of it all...and keep one's perspective...

[ARTelevision]

This one's bound to become an urban legend. Ananova says it's true. Me? No idea. It's definitely curiously entertaining though...

...

Man peed way out of avalanche

A Slovak man trapped in his car under an avalanche freed himself by drinking 60 bottles of beer and urinating on the snow to melt it.

Rescue teams found Richard Kral drunk and staggering along a mountain path four days after his Audi car was buried in the Slovak Tatra mountains.

He told them that after the avalanche, he had opened his car window and tried to dig his way out.

But as he dug with his hands, he realised the snow would fill his car before he managed to break through.

He had 60 half-litre bottles of beer in his car as he was going on holiday, and after cracking one open to think about the problem he realised he could urinate on the snow to melt it, local media reported.

He said: "I was scooping the snow from above me and packing it down below the window, and then I peed on it to melt it. It was hard and now my kidneys and liver hurt. But I'm glad the beer I took on holiday turned out to be useful and I managed to get out of there."

Parts of Europe have this week been hit by the heaviest snowfalls since 1941, with some places registering more than ten feet of snow in 24 hours.

[ARTelevision]

For an AP story, this leaves too much to the imagination. It doesn't even say a thing about "how" this would be possible - given feline anatomy and vehicular construction, not to mention aerodynamic realities. Well, I suppose that's what makes it "curiously entertaining"...

......................................


Cat Survives 10-Mile Trip on Top of Car

Mar 4, 7:29 AM (ET)


INKOM, Idaho (AP) - Torri Hutchinson's cat might just have one less life to live. Hutchison was driving along Interstate 15 one day recently when a motorist kept trying to get her attention and pointing to the roof of her car.

She said she was wary of the man, but wondered if perhaps her ski rack might have come loose.

She pulled over to the side, but kept her doors locked and the motor running.

The man pulled up behind her. Hutchinson rolled down her window to hear the man frantically shouting, "Your cat! Your cat!"

He reached for the roof of her car and handed the shocked Hutchinson her orange tabby.

She had driven about 10 miles with the cat on top of the car, and didn't even notice the feline when she stopped for gas.

Hutchinson said Cuddle Bug, or C.B. for short, had climbed into the back of her car as she was getting ready to leave. She put him out, but he must have jumped on the roof while she wasn't looking, she said.

............................

It was probably the ski rack, but still...

[ARTelevision]

Here's a tasty tidbit that is sure to be curiously entertaining to some. It seems that semen is a condiment indistinguishable from sugar and lard. The pastry chef in question received a surprisingly small punishment - don't you think? - for chicaning to infuse his bodily fluid inside of unknowing strangers...

"
Teen Sends Student Semen-Frosted Brownies

Wed Mar 9, 9:08 PM ET

COEUR D'ALENE, Idaho - A teenager has agreed to admit to three counts of disturbing the peace after anonymously sending semen-frosted brownies to a fellow student. The recipient shared the treat with two other teens, police said.

They said the 17-year-old Coeur d'Alene High School student was upset after a prank in which the other student put peanut butter in his cheese sandwich days before. He told a school resource officer that "he hated peanut butter and it made him more mad than he could explain," according to the police report.

The teen later told School Resource Officer Jeff Walther that he got the idea of putting his semen on the brownies from the movie "National Lampoon's Van Wilder," in which characters send pastries filled with dog semen to a fraternity house.

The student was arrested and booked into a juvenile detention center. He has since been released on a judge's order that he has no contact with the students who ate the brownies.

The youth is to be sentenced on April 4 on the three misdemeanor counts, which are each punishable by up to 90 days in detention, prosecutors said.

The victims' parents were notified and the children were tested for anything that could have been transmitted through the body fluid, although Panhandle Health spokeswoman Susan Cuff said the chance of the students' health being affected would be "extremely remote."

School Superintendent Harry Amend declined comment on any school discipline against the teenager.


http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=stor...nk_2&printer=1

[Supple Cow]

Here's one for you, Art!

From the BBC World Edition today:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4334377.stm
......................................................
Dog's false lead in murder case


US prosecutors trying to crack a murder case realised they were barking up the wrong tree when one of their witnesses turned out to be a small dog.

They had been interested in talking to Murphy Smith since the main suspect sent him a letter from his cell.

But when he turned up at court, lawyers knew they had grabbed the wrong lead for Murphy was a pet, not a relative.

Albert K Smith, the dog's owner, is awaiting trial in Arkansas, over the shooting of his ex-wife's boyfriend.

The defendant had written to Murphy from his cell - alerting prosecutors' suspicions.

They sent out a subpoena, and the five-year-old Shih Tzu duly appeared at the Benton County Prosecuting Attorney's Office, led by the defendant's brother.

An official refused to grant them access to the courthouse - because no dogs are allowed.

Prosecutor Robin Green told the Associated Press news agency she apologised to the brother for any inconvenience, adding: "The dog was friendly enough and probably would have been a very co-operative witness."
......................................................

I love what the prosecutor told the AP about the dog making a co-operative witness. I wonder if she said it tongue-in-cheek to the press or if she actually said something like that to the brother in a fit of shock-induced politeness.

[ARTelevision]

yep...and at least the dog was friendly.

good doggie!

[ARTelevision]

Here's another bodily-fluids-in-strangers story. I wonder if he'll tell the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?

................
Former Dentist Accused Of Squirting Semen Into Mouths Of Patients

7:02 am EST March 15, 2005

CHARLOTTE, N.C. Associated Press -- A former North Carolina dentist accused of using syringes to squirt semen into the mouths of female patients was charged Monday with multiple misdemeanor counts of assault on a female.

A Mecklenburg County grand jury indicted Dr. John Hall on seven counts of assault on a female. He was charged with assaulting six patients, including one of them twice, over an eight-month period in 2003.

Hall, 44, who practiced in nearby Cornelius, is expected to turn himself in at the Mecklenburg County jail on Wednesday. He faces up to 120 days in jail if convicted on all the charges.

Hall could not be reached for comment. In the past, he has denied the allegations, calling them "bizarre and sensational."

Assistant District Attorney David Maloney, who sought Monday's indictments against Hall, would not comment on the charges.

"We knew these indictments were coming," said defense attorney George Laughrun. "This is just the first step in the process. My client is anxious for the process to get started and get this behind him for himself and his family."

The North Carolina Board of Dental Examiners revoked Hall's license in August after six former patients testified in Raleigh that the dentist made them swallow what they now believe was his semen.

In testimony before the dental board last summer, Hall denied the allegations.

"I have never injected semen in any patient's mouth," he said. "I never would. I've got a 10-year-old daughter. That whole concept is so beyond me."

Police searched Hall's office and confiscated syringes after several employees said they were suspicious of the dentist's behavior. DNA tests on the syringes later showed they contained Hall's semen.

..........................................

I hear he graduated from the Freudian Academy of Dentistry - where sometimes a cavity is just a cavity...

Hey, a dentist sees a cavity and he's gotta fill it!

[ARTelevision]

This story contains a bit of gallows humor, doesn't it?

I suppose there are many who believe in the "dignity of the dead" but I'm not one of them. I figure the dead are...well, dead.

In any event, I do find this story contains elements of both the grotesque and the humorous.

Curiously entertaining...

...................................

Use of Human Corpses for Testing Decried



VIENNA, Austria (AP) - Researchers at an Austrian university used human corpses to study how to develop better crash-test dummies, and authorities are now investigating whether the scientists should be charged with violating the dignity of the dead, a prosecutor said Tuesday.

Researchers at the Technical University of Graz used 21 bodies provided by The Medical University of Graz for tests performed between 1994 and 2003, said Alice Senarclens de Grancy, a spokeswoman for the Technical University.

Horst Sigl, a prosecutor in the southern city of Graz, said authorities are investigating whether researchers violated the dignity of the dead - a crime in Austria - by using the bodies in tests.

"The core of the problem is whether those used in the tests or their relatives gave permission,'' he said in a telephone interview.


During the tests, the bodies were placed in seats that moved with speeds up to 9 mph before being stopped in an effort to simulate a rear-end collision. Scientists observed how the bodies' vertebrae, upper bodies and backs moved.


Senarclens de Grancy rejected any suggestion that the dignity of the dead could have been disturbed in the tests, saying they were carried out under strict ethical standards.


"It's not in any way a crash test as you might think about it,'' she said. "There is no car. There is no wall.''


Using real bodies was necessary to develop a ``dummy which is very similar to the human body, which reacts as the human body does,'' Senarclens de Grancy said.


The Medical University, a separate institution, has launched an internal investigation even though it was ``confident that all had been done in order,'' spokeswoman Birgit Jauk said.


Anyone convicted in the case could face six months in prison or a fine, Sigl said, adding that the preliminary investigation likely would be finished in about a month.

.................................

I do find the statement, "There is no car. There is no wall.'' to be quite Zen when taken out of context. Memorable - at least for a day or so...

[Supple Cow]

Hmm... what exactly would constitute disturbing the dignity of the dead?

[ARTelevision]

Well, I guess this would be construed as the disturbance:

"During the tests, the bodies were placed in seats that moved with speeds up to 9 mph before being stopped in an effort to simulate a rear-end collision. Scientists observed how the bodies' vertebrae, upper bodies and backs moved."

Problematically, reading that paragraph is one of the funny parts of this. I don't know why exactly but it seems to be the way it's described. That seems to be the criteria for what I find curiously entertaining here...

[Supple Cow]

Maybe it's the Five Point Palm Exploding Toad Technique...

LINK

Mystery of German exploding toads
Toads in an area of northern Germany are being killed off by a mysterious disease - they are exploding.

Thousands of the amphibians have died in recent days in a pond in Hamburg's Altona district, with their bodies swelling to bursting point.

The toads' entrails are propelled for up to a metre (3.2ft), in scenes that have been likened to science fiction.

Scientists are baffled. Possible explanations include a unknown virus or a fungus in the pond.

"You see the animals crawling on the ground, swelling and then exploding," German conservationist Werner Smolnik told AFP news agency.

The bodies of the toads expanded to three and a half times their normal size, he said.

"I have never seen such a thing," AFP quotes veterinarian Otto Horst as saying. The site - which has been dubbed "the pond of death" - has been closed to the public.

This is my favorite part... the caption under the picture reads:

The toads of Altona are dying in their thousands

Well if their living into their thousands, then I guess I can feel better knowing that they've exploded only after long, fulfilling lives.

[ARTelevision]

Thanks for the exploding toad item, SC...
............

This next one strikes me as curiously entertaining because it was linked straight-faced from Google News this morning:



...

It's a funny story and it was even funnier getting to it from Google News.

Media Stunned at Election of a Catholic as Pope
Written by Jeremy Robb
Wednesday, April 27, 2005




NEW YORK, New York --- Media outlets around the globe panicked after learning that a Catholic had been elected as the new pope. Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, now Pope Benedict XVI, has been described by the world media as a "hardline conservative" who believes in all major aspects of Catholic faith and doctrine.

"I can't believe the Catholic Church would do this," said an insider at CNN. "This guy doesn't believe in abortion, contraception, same-sex marriage, or female priests. I was really anticipating that the Catholic Church was ready to elect a pope that was not a true Catholic. Someone far more flexible on these issues. You know. Like a Unitarian Church leader."

It seemed unusual that the media portrayed John Paul II as a compassionate and warm leader, while Benedict the XVI is described as a radical hardline conservative even though the two hold almost identical beliefs about the Church. A New York Times executive explained. "We all described John Paul II as a right-wing zealot when he was first elected in an attempt to promote hatred of Catholics and religion," said the executive. "Once he actually started to perform compassionate deeds and change the world for the better, we had to back off. Now we have an opportunity to slam this new pope as a hardline conservative. Most of our readers are too dumb to know that hardline conservative is just code for a devout Catholic. I'm still disappointed that our early smear tactics couldn't sway the Cardinals to select someone like John Kerry, Ted Kennedy or Bill Clinton, three non-Catholics who would change the Church doctrine for the better. This is off the record, right?"

...

from:
http://www.chronwatch.com/content/co....asp?aid=14273

[ngdawg]

Uh...Ted Kennedy is Catholic....sheesh, even in parody they manage to get their 'facts' screwed up!

[ARTelevision]

This one could go anywhere but as I've spent some time in Japan, I am always interested in the sadness of those good people. The whole island seemed like an amusement park called "REPRESSION ISLAND." Of course, like the U.S., it doesn't look repressed. It looks totally free - especially as it presents itself in the warped mirror of media. That's the thing with repression - it masquerades as freedom.

........

As many as 10 percent of Japanese youths may be living in "epic sulks" as hermits ("hikikomori"), according to a March Taipei Times dispatch from Tokyo, thus representing no improvement in the already alarming problem that was described in a report in 2000. Many of the hikikomori, in fact, still live in their parents' homes and simply never leave their bedrooms. Among the speculation as to cause: school bullying, academic pressure, poor social skills (after obsessively whiling away hours at video games), unaccessible father figures, and an education system that suppresses youths' sense of adventure. [Taipei Times, 3-11-05]

...........

For some perverse reason, I decided that sad stories also qualify as "curiously entertaining" - there's a twinge of sadness in most of these stories, after all...

[skier]

Originally Posted by ARTelevision

For some perverse reason, I decided that sad stories also qualify as "curiously entertaining" - there's a twinge of sadness in most of these stories, after all...

We laugh because it hurts.


At least, that's my take on it. Comedy has a way of turning sadness into joy- we laugh at ourselves so that we can ease our pain or just feel better.

[Manuel Hong]

[QUOTE=ARTelevision] That's the thing with repression - it masquerades as freedom.
QUOTE]

Well said, Art. Can I quote you on that in the future? I'll send you a nickle every time, promise!