What to do, what to do?
 

Last night, a good friend of mine was taken advantage of by two guys I know. Lets call them Guy A, and Guy B

She went to a small party at Guy Bs house. After some time, she was very drunk, in combonation with pain killers. Not Good. Most people left, and she was left there with Guy A and B. Thats when Guy A started to try and do things with her. She was very, very drunk, and in no state of mind to be making any decisions. Guy B was right there the whole time, not trying to stop anything. By the way, the guys were both completely sober.

Eventually, Guy A ended up making out with, groping, and fingering friend, and he gave her more alcohol and got her to give him a handjob. Guy B did NOTHING to stop any of this, he just sat and watched

This whole situation makes me extrememly mad. In my angered state I would love to kick the shit out of the both of them. But she doesn't want me to, and she doesn't want me to say anything to them. But I don't know if I can control myself

What do you all think I should do?

Advise her to go to the authorities. Both of these guys can be charged with sexual assault. Or, certainly one of them can, and the other is an accomplice.

But only do that with her permission. DO NOT get her involved in something she doesn't want to get involved with.

Be very firm that she get some counceling about this. This is NOT a time for her to retreat into herself and pretend that nothing happened.

I would encourage her to report them to the police, and ignore her and beat the living hell out of them.

Tell her that nothing that happened is her fault, because guilt is probably what's holding her back and preventing her from reporting it. These guys need some serious punishment, whether jail time or beating. A is guilty of sexual assault, and B is an accessory, and probably guilty of something else because it happened in his house.

Sounds like she should stop mixing drugs with alcohol, or live with the consequences.

You can still beat up the guys guilt free though at least, they aren't saints themselves.

Can someone explain the way intoxication works, either legally or ethically?

To be passed out and incapable of saying anything at all is clearly a case for rape. But to willfully drink untill drunk, and remain conscious, and then have advances made on you and neither saying No or discouraging it in anyway... well, to take a look at potential double standards (I say potential because I honestly don't know how this is viewed in the law) if I get drunk and hit a cop, I'm still gonna go down for assaulting an officer in spite of my being "in no state of mind to be making any decisions."

Ethically it's clearly wrong to take advantage of somebody significantly impaired, but she could be trying to tell you something about her pre-intoxication decision making when she says not to confront them about it.

EDITED

I retracted this because a lack of initial information caused what I said to come across as really bad. My new response is below.

She seems to think that she could have done something to stop it. There was only one thing she could have done, and she tried to. At 2:30 AM she called my cell phone, which was right next to my bed, but it didn't wake me up.

I keep trying to convince her to talk to some authorities, but she refuses. She says the three made a "vow of silence" not to say anything. Fucking bullshit. She also doesn't want me to hurt them, because it would break the "vow of bullshit"

That really fucking sucks. I don't know where you live, but I suspect it to be a college town. More likely than not there is a rape/sexual assault counseling center. If not there are toll free hotlines. She should talk to one of the advisors there. There is no question that what happened to your friend is illegal. As everyone else said, she was assaulted by Guy A and Guy B was an accomplis. You cannot force her to tell the authorities, but she should. Not just for her sake, but because chances are they will do this to someone else in the future. To spare the next girl from being a victim she should tell the authorities.

Im gunna go with popular opinion here... Report them, if she wants it.

Shit like this enrages me man... I know how you feel. I know this kid that pulled the "If you love me, you will have sex with me" thing.

I had all I could do not to kill the bastard.

She doesn't think this is all that bad for some reason......when I told her "Next time I see [Guy A] he's going to wake up in a pool of his own blood , black and blue all over" She didn't understand why I was so infutiated. I guess it kinda scares her, I'm never usually agressive at all.

No matter how hard I try, she doesn't want to report it. She seems to think her mother would find out she had been out drinking, and would no longer trust her (apparently her mother is adamantly anti-alcohol) I don't know how to convince her to go to the authorities

I wish you'd have put this in your original post, because you didn't give any indication she was against it when you first described it, and now my post makes me look like a fuckin jerkoff. I'm going back to edit it.

Encourage reporting it to the proper authorities, and beat the shit out of them if you can. Good luck.

I dont know man, its a tough situation. Sounds like she needs to re-evaluate her priorities. Reporting rape is definatly higher on the list then her mother finding out she was drinking.

Only problem being... Her mother (if I know mothers at all) will use this as a soap box to stand on when she says "Thats why I didnt want you out drinking".

But that will probably come waaaaaay after shit gets cleared up. For referance, how old is this girl?

She must be really young to believe that kind of bs, agreed. Anyway, contracts under duress (such as being drunk) have no force.

Gee, I can't imagine why. :rolleyes:

I would guess she's so adamant because shit like this happens.
I don't blame her, whether she was drinking or not, decent human beings don't pull that shit.

The wierest part of it all is she wasn't planning to tell me about it. We were talking, I told her that last night I had a wierd dream, where she got drunk and some guy took advantage of her. And that kind of hit her real hard and she broke down and told me about the whole thing.

By the way, she's 18. Maybe that's another part of why she's afraid of going to the police, thinks she might get in trouble for underage drinking

That's what you get for getting drunk and high.
If this was a friend of mine here's exactly what I would say to her:
Stay sober and you'll never be in a situation like that again. Continue to get fucked up, and you'll continue to be in those situations, and deserve each one of them.

This wasn't even close to rape so people shouldn't even think it. She gave a dude a hand job, and I'll bet that while it was happening she enjoyed every last second. Sounds to me like she probably had regrets after she sobered up, but who cares. She let herself get drunk and fucked up. What's she gonna do if she does go to the police... Tell them she was high and drunk and jerked a guy off and now regrets it so lock his ass up? Gimme a break.

So being fingered against your will isnt rape? Might wanna check out rape laws...

If you go to the authorities, she being 18, would complicate it because she was underage drinking.

My view: skip the authorities and beat the guys to a pulp.

I understand where you're coming from, everyone has a right to their own opinion, but I have to disagree with you.

First of all, she was not at all enjoying what was going on, she tried to call me so I could get her out of there. First he was groping her, and reached in her pants and started fingering her. After that he gave her more to drink, and forced her to give him a hand job. She has a psychological problem where she thinks bad things will happen if she says no, because she has an abusive relationship history. I find it rather offensive how you assume she was "enjoying every last second" She got home and cried for two hours non-stop after this.

Also, when someone is drunk enough, you can pretty much coax them into anything

Thirdly, she wasn't high. She got in a car accident two days ago, and was prescribed perkaset for the pain. Please don't assume one of my best friends is a retarded, slutty junkie. I came here to ask for help, not criticism

I fail to see where she resisted.....She certainly didn't resist giving a hand job. Is giving a hand job also rape? If so I shoulda been put in jail when I was 15.

"she tried to call me so I could get her out of there."
Yes, that is certainly quite an effort on her part.

"After that he gave her more to drink,"
Right, she would have had to say no to get out of drinking that drink!

"and forced her to give him a hand job."
Does anyone else think of "Stop hitting yourself?"

"She has a psychological problem where she thinks bad things will happen if she says no, because she has an abusive relationship history."
So she... she never said no?

What I (and ultimately a DA, most likely) will see is that the guy didn't know she didn't want to partake because she didn't convey to him that she didn't want to partake. Why is it assumed that because she tried to tell YOU she wanted to leave that THEY were supposed to know she wanted to leave.

Ultimately, even if the authorities get involved, they'll be unable to seek prosecution. You have to decide on your own whether or not the circumstances demand vigilante justice and whether or not vigilante justice will bring prosecution to YOU.

A little more info this time, but my opinion doesn't change. The problem is in the alcohol. If she never got drunk and high it never woulda happened. Fine, she's on pills from an accident, but she should know better. Never mix pills with alcohol. Drunk people who get taken advantage of deserve it. I'm not criticizing. I'm helping by telling you to tell her to never drink and she will never have that happen again. Can you honestly say I'm wrong....

It sounds like the authorities might be problematic in this situation.
I do suggest you hook her up with one of the rape counseling centers.
They will be able to help in ways you can't.
If nothing else she will get the mental support that will keep this from becoming one more event in a traumatic history.

As to getting the little dickheads that did it, creativity seems like your best bet.
Keep in mind that beating them to a pulp could easily get you put in jail.
So....
Do you know any radical feminist groups you could give their names too?
Or how about RAPIST painted on the side of their house or car?

Be creative and you can make them pay for this for a very long time.

There appears to be gross negligence on her part which will hurt her case severely. I know you don't want criticism but why the hell is she drinking on Percocets????? and she was drinking underage. And lastly being a female why didn't she have anyone at all with her? If I was a girl drunk and high on percocets I would want someone with a bit of sober sense to watch over me. How was she getting home? Was she planning to drive?

I'm not saying at all she wasn't assaulted but the burden of proof is gonna be that they weren't drunk, and she was using percocets and drinking on top of them, a potentially lethal combo. The fact that the act is fairly benign and she did perform the act without threats or coercion hurts her as well, It appears she realizes her credibility will be shredded to pieces in a court of law and just wants to leave it behind her to avoid further embarrasment. It's shitty she was taken advantage of but she wasn't proactive in providing herself safety.

Sixate, I do agree with you that she shouldn't have been drinking. When I found out she was going there to drink, I told her it was a bad idea.

But that doesn't change the fact of what they did to her. Before they started drinking, she told them how she was when she was drunk, and she set some boundaries. They broke them. They knew she didn't want what was happening, thats why they made this "vow of silence"

But I hate how you say she deserved it. No one deserves that. Well, except Guy A and B. Prison rape would be a great punishment for them methinks

Given her feelings about saying not saying no and the fact she's a female and she was up against 2 guys it could definitely happen. Her credibility is all the alcohol ruined for her. Drunk people can say no and even fight an attacker. The drink and drug combo ruins her credibility in the face of 2 sober witnesses. So I will have to say yes you're wrong in blaming the whole thing on the alcohol. It didn't help but you and I both knowyou can say no and fight while drunk.

Personally I would leave it up to her to decide whether to report them or not report them to the proper authorities.

I would definitely beat the living hell out of both of the individuals involved. First they were both sober they had all of their faculties.

The one who stood by and allowed it to happen needs to be beat down to ensure that in the future he doesn't allow it to happen to anyone else. Allowing someone to commit a crime without reaction makes that person worthless POS in my book.

The person that committed the crime needs to beat down then violated with a bat. I would leave the bat sticking out of his posterior and leave him out on a busy sidewalk with a note as to why he was beat and violated. Leave him feeling as used and as humiliated as he left your friend.

Some other ideas....

Print up some flyers and post them in the area warning woman not to spend time alone with these two guys.

Print up letterhead from a law office that says they are being sued.

Been right here in this situation not long ago. Except I was there and had the opportunity to throw the guys out before it went too damn far, it went far enough but that is another story. I felt guilty because I didn't realize to stop it sooner (I was in another part of the house). But like others have said she made the decision to drink, they made the decision to drink. Bad decisions are made by all involved when alcohol is consumed in large quantities. I encouraged my friend to go get help, had a heart to heart with the gentlemen involved, and followed my friend's lead in what she wanted done and or reported. Her body her decision. I don't like how my friend handled it but I will support her. I made it clear that I would not be a party to anymore of the bs that happened to her and them. <p>In short follow your friends wishes in this situation. It happened to her asnd the only thing you can do is support her no matter if you disagree or what. That is what friends have to do sometimes, be there to help pick up the pieces.

Everything I am saying is true of Califonia law only, I've not certain if they are the same for other states.
Actually, it doesn't complicate anything for her. It does them. It was illegal for them to give alcohol to her. Their house, their party, their responsiblity. One more criminal charge against them.
An inebriated person cannot legal consent to any sexual activity (in CA at least) meaning it was indeed sexual assault (assuming it took place in CA) Not rape, but sexual assault.
No, I can't say you are wrong. But the laws (in CA) says none of that matters, it is just more bad news for the guys.

Seriously, this girl should talk with a local rape/sexual abuse counselor. In all likelihood, her mom need never find out about it because rape-shield laws are designed to protect her privacy. Even from her mother. Again, I don't know where you live, so I don't know what laws are applicable to this situation, but the counselor should. Also, you can look into your school's handbook, I'm sure they have rules against what guy a and b did, and punishment (likely expulsion) while at the same time protecting the girls privacy (which does not work, but it would not be come public-public information, only rumour which her mother need not hear).

Not to be rude crude and socially unacceptable, but based on the information provided....

Personally I believe she got off easy and really needs to learn from her experience. Fact is, she could have been raped, robbed and murdered. She is alive, she got off easy.

I am not siding with the boys either. Young and stupid is not uncommon in young men. In these days if she put up ANY resistance and they did not stop then they KNEW they were in the wrong.

The best thing you can do for your friend is to help her learn to NOT put herself into this kind of situation.

Some people have low self-control around booze, sex, porn, drugs, weed, money, food, and other ills and need to completely abstain from them. COMPLETELY.

I cant disagree more. What kind of degenerate scum bag takes advantage of a person in this state?

Say you, forwhatever reason, ended up intoxicated to0 the point where you were unable to make a consious decision, and sum big guy (even bigger then you) named bubba decided your asshole needed to be stretched a bit...

And he decided he had just the tool to do it... And you couldnt really do a damn thing about it... Would you still feel that you deserved it?

You come across as extrememly callous.

This guy posts asking for help, and you more or less call his friend "a retarded slutty junkie", in the words of elwood.

What ever happened to posting nicely, or using the back button?



The only good point you have made is that no, if you dont drink you have a seriously lower chance of ending up in a situation like this.

But, that doesnt change the fact that it wasnt her fault. Its was the dickhead who forced her into it's fault.

Well, I'm making some progress here. I've convinced her to talk to her school psychologist. The guy who did this is like a fuckin dunce. He IMed her a little while ago and said "hey, i'm really sorry about what happened last night, wanna go on a date tomorrow?" FUCKING ASSHOLE

Yes, there were a lot of things this girl did wrong (drinking underage, drinking on medication, drinking without someone there to watch over her and make sure she was ok) - and this is exactly why you don't want to drink on meds and you want to have someone sober keep watch over you while drinking.

However, I don't think "deserved" is really the right word for it. She became a statistic - another drunk girl who was sexually assaulted. She needs to take the advice of the people above: go to a rape councellor and figure out what, if any, her legal options are for prosecution of the two guys.

As for the two guys: Vigilante justice, while definitely an appealing idea, may very well get you in legal trouble. As for what you should do: Be a good and supportive friend, and try to get her to take action against the guys. Covering this up won't help anyone. And in the future, do not let her do this sort of thing again (drinking on meds and drinking without someone (preferably male) sober to keep watch over her.

except throwing up :(

if a woman was drunk, and wanted to fuck, fine. but it sounds pretty clear she was forced.

it's a difficult deal. if you really think it happened as you say, report it. period. it sounds like she may need to be in detox, too. don't do a half ass job.

as for the guys. the one who didn't 'encourage more but didn't stop the other guy either', i would make sure he gets a reality check.

the other guy needs an accident.

the girl fucked up. but rape is rape. there is no justifying this action. anyone who date rapes deserve what they get and i hope the good vigilantes gives what they deserve.

Well, shes making her own decisions about what to do. But I've decided I might have to dish out just a little vigilante justice. I can't hit them, and it has to be something that doesn't say that they raped her, because they "can't know I know"

I was thinking some strategically slashed tires, coupled with a few fresh key scratches

"I can't hit them,"
False. That's all I have to offer. Maybe you *shouldn't* do it right away, but find an excuse and use it.

Well, I can hit them....but if I do she's just going to get pissed at me, which I dont want

OK, my two cents. And you might not like it.

First of all talk with her about reporting this to the authorities. You can't force her, however does she honestly think she'll be the last girl these assholes will ever take advantage of? The next one, and there will be a next one, may not be so lucky to only have to endure some fingering and a hand job. Have her think about that for a while. Then consider how responsible she is.

If she won't do it and I doubt if she will if she hasn't by now, then you have to get in her face. And get in her face in a big way. You better tell this girl that she's playing in an adult world now. Her circumstances (abusive relationship, underage drinking, car accident) don't mean shit to some asshole is trying to get in her pants. If she wants to keep them out, then stay sober. Don't drink, don't drink on top of meds, don't make excuses for your behavior. You need to give it to her hard. She's lucky that something worse didn't happen. If she can't be responsible for herself in those situations, then she doesn't need to be out. For crap's sake, why do you think the legal drinking age is 21?

And this vow of slience bullshit is just that, bullshit. Its not against the law. Taking advantage of an intoxicated minor is however. If she doesn't tell the authorities, then you need to tell these asshats that you know and that they fucked up. Not confrontational. Just let them know that they are complete assholes. Who cares about offending these pieces of shit? She owes them nothing. Neither do you. Don't take a swing at them but they need to know that you know. And it was wrong.

It really isn't all that hard to know what to do. Doing it may be hard. But its something you and her have to do.

Hoooolllly Shit. This whole situation just got really nuts

I just extracted this from her. OK. Guy B, is gay. Guy B made my friend his bargaining point so he could do shit to Guy A. He would say "hey, I'm supposed to be watching out for the girl, but if you let me blow you, I'll let you finger her"

Oh. My God. FUCKING SCUM

I agree with Craven Morehead. The whole "vow of silence" thing is like what child molestor's use (It's our little secret, let's not tell anyone else). Doesn't fucking make it right.

Walk up to the two guys, talk to them, and say "I know what you did, and I'll be watching. Don't ever do it again." - or something close to that. Don't pick a fight, but warn them. That way they know that they can't just get away with it with no consequences.

Doing silly shit like slashing tires won't accomplish anything in the long run, and it DEFINITELY won't discourage them from future sexual assault. Vandalism != vengeance.

I can see you are a true, caring friend. The only thing you can do is be there for her and give her advice and let her know your feelings. This is something that happened to her, so unfortunately you need to leave it in her hands. There is not much you can do about it unless she is willing also. It's sad to see that she doesn't want to do anything about it- what she really needs is self-confidence. Just keep doing what you're doing- but meddling or pushing will make matters worse if she is not willing to do anything about the situation. It disturbs me about those guys- especially being sober- but it's out of your hands. I hope that she comes around and makes a wise decision or it will keep happening.

So, clearly it seems that the guys are "assholes" no matter what happened at the party. I am sorry, but I have been to a ton of college parties and I find it hard to believe that these guys weren't drinking. IMO, she says they weren't drinking in order to build her case. Perhaps she was not forced to give a hand job or was not forced to get finger banged. Maybe, just maybe she had asked or given the impression that she wanted it. Perhaps she did enjoy what was happening when she was intoxicated, but afterwards felt remorse at her actions. So, she was irresponsible by being drunk and under the influence of a powerful drug. Does this mean we automatically criminalize the guys? What if they were drunk and didn't have all of their senses as well? The reason I think this is because I have been to many parties before and have been very drunk. I too have messed around with strange women who were intoxicated. It happens people!!! I am sick of seeing people so quick to judge the guys in this type of situation when it could have been completely controlled by the woman. So, these guys tried to get in her pants. What if she gave them every indication that she wanted them to? Imagine if you will........two attractive guys are sitting in the corner *drinking* at a party. Along comes a beautiful woman who proceeds to flirt with both gentlemen. They resume their conversations and flirting in private, where she makes advances on both men. (use your imagination from there) All I am saying is just because she claims that this all happened, doesn't mean we should be so quick to judge. It could be an attempt for her to get attention. It could be a way for her to feel better about herself since she was drunk and high on meds. It could be that these two guys are the victims. I have been in several situations where I was high, and was with my best friend Kevin......two seperate times we were hanging with a waitress we worked with and she flat out told us she wanted us to fuck her at the same time. Never went anywhere at all, but the fact of the matter remains that some women, even at a young age, are sexually minded and are looking for two men to have sex with.

In addition, why was she drinking while on meds? And, why did she not have friends there to keep an eye on her? I am amazed that people are so quick to pass judgement on these two guys when they might want to consider the actions of the girl as well.

Now, before I get ripped a new asshole, let me clarify. I don't think there is ever any justification for rape or sexual assault if that was truly the case. I think men who commit crimes like this should have their nuts cut off. Seriously. However, if there is mutual agreement and sexual advances on both sides, then there is nothing wrong with experimenting with the opposite sex. It's just wrong when it is believed to be mutual, then the guy gets accused of rape because she has some insecurities.

You know several things are obvious
One: What happened to your friend was wrong (for several reasons)

Two: She is not going to the cops, and its doubtful if it would even help

Three: This horrible evening could scar you friend for a long long time on many levels

Four: There are several things you have said that show this situation is one of many indicators that your friend may have some deeper problems (not getting taken advantage of, but being in a state of intoxication that keeps her from being in control)

You should encourage your friend to seek professional counseling.
This would help her work through the trauma of the evening you mentioned and also help her begin to evaluate some of her other issues (such as drinking, drugs, poor choices, etc.)

You might even go with her to help give her courage to follow through with telling everything.

1: I agree with all the suggestions for asking her to seek pro help.

2: I think past that you should do nothing more than be supportive, a friend, and a listener.

Mmm. And then he gets the pants sued off him for libel, practicing law without a license (yes, he can be charged for that if he does the law office letterhead trick), and several other charges.

Listen, what the Alphabet friends did to her is dispicable and I have no patience for people who take advantage of a drunk person for any reason.

On the other hand, I have no patience for people who 1) KNOW they're on medication which has side effects, 2) KNOWINGLY drink until drunk (it's easy to stop, people. I have NEVER been drunk because I don't WANT to be drunk. Unless someone's got you tied up and hooked up to a vodka I.V., you can control whether or not you get drunk), then 3) get all mad when they do stupid things that they shouldn't be doing and that they wouldn't have done if sober.

I find it incredible that if you run over a kid while drunk, you don't get to say that you were drunk and therefore not responsible for any of it, but if you make out while drunk, you can abdicate all responsibility for YOUR actions.

If you don't want to be groped while you're drunk, then don't get drunk. Period.

No, the two guys shouldn't have done that. Then again, the girl shouldn't have all but put up a neon sign begging for it to happen either. She knew she'd be drinking long before she even got there. She knew she was on drugs. Unless she's a complete moron, she knew not to mix drugs and alcohol. Unless she's a complete moron, she knew it wasn't legal for her to drink. And, unless she's a complete moron, she knew that she would be more vulnerable if she lost control of herself by getting drunk, yet she did it anyway. I'm tired of people refusing to take any responsibility for their own actions. What she should be saying (and it almost sounds like she might be saying it to herself) is "gee, I really screwed that one up. I wish they hadn't done that but after all it is partially my fault that it happened. Maybe next time I'll be smart enough to stay sober in situations like that, and it won't happen again."

To clarify a few points

1. The guys had been drinking before she got there, by the time this happened they were sobering up

2. She didn't in any way act like she wanted this...the whole time she was crying, and whimpering, and trying to get away, even thought she couldn't even sit up on her own. She in no way gave them the impression she wanted this

elwoodblues43, I respect the fact that you are standing up for your friend. However, it is her "drunk" word against yours. She could recall all of the details of the incident, yet was too drunk to even sit up of fight off her attackers. When I am that drunk, I usually can't remember shit!

Not saying it didn't happen, nor am I defending these guys in any way, but just suppose she is trying to cover up for a mistake that she made by implicating these guys? I am not tryng to piss you off, but what if a girl was accusing you of something that was completely consentual and innocent? I am just trying not to burn these guys at the stake in the event the story is slightly skewed on her part.

I agree wholeheartedly with sixate.

I'm not trying to criminalize your friend elwood, but this is a
great "boy cries wolf" case, or in this case "Girl has regrets, yells rape". I am going by your secondhand information alone, which comes from someone who was "too intoxicated" to know what was going on but still has all memory of what was happening ( wich I know is bullshit ).

I have thrown a dozen parties. I have honestly seen a girl go into a party, take someone by the hand and lead him to a bedroom ( this guy is so drunk he falls over twice going into the bedroom... he drank a fifth of goldschlager in a two hour period ) fool around with him and THEN try to say he was forcing himself upon her. This same guy left the bedroom after 5 minutes alone in there with her and puked in the toilet for almost 2 hours straight. He couldn't force himself off the floor, much less on a girl who had two shots of vodka in a 3 hour period. Her best friend ( a female also) was there, and drinking, and she called the girl who cried rape full of shit. There were a dozen people there ( 4 totally sober ) who agreed that she is full of shit, so nothing bad ever happened to my friend.

RAPE IS A SERIOUS ACCUSATION. Make damn sure you got some proof. Otherwise, your ass is grass when the accused starts countersuing for slander. And you will lose, as you weren't there and your 2ndhand testimony is heresay and inadmissable as evidence. And since she's not getting involved, then you will have no proof whatsoever. And she WONT get involved.

1. She made the decision to get drunk.
2. She could have left when everyone else was leaving. Surely someone would have gave her a ride, especially if a group of girls was leaving.
3. She is telling you her side of the story. I know of very few people who are completely honest about anything, especially when they are filled with regret. And if she was as intoxicated as she claims, she wouldn't be able to remember anything at all. Trust me, I've seen girls capable of being coherant and resisting even when they were totally slobbering drunk and high. Your friend must not have much of a self-preservation instinct... or is exaggerating. If she's had abusive relationships in the past, then I guarentee her self-preservation instinct is not at fault.

Noone deserves to be "raped" but I'm almost certain this is not a case of it based on the information that has been presented in this thread. You will probably choose to believe otherwise, and I don't blame you, as I'm a random person on the internet. I still think you should consider my points very seriously.

Recommend she gets counseling anyway as she has other issues which need cleared up. BTW: You are not a psychologist, are you? Don't try to play one.

Don't be a vigilante either, you should have no stake in this. You are not her boyfriend , although you may want to be. You have no extenuating circumstances that would justify your vigilante actions. You have no protection from the law for doing anything to accused criminals anyway, but you might have extenuating cirumstances if she was your significant other . You will suffer criminal penalties if you engage in such, and they will catch you.

hrm....shitty situation indeed.

my advise?

1. do whatever you can to convince your female friend that she NEEDS counseling. not just for this, but to help her fix whatever's causing her to be such a 'victim'.

2. the guys - assholes, yes. and we can be 99% certain this won't be the last time they're asses, to her or someone's else.
not sure what you can really do about this tho, other than try and get the word out so they have a bad reputation?

and my general opinion onnit - i don't think she 'deserved' it, but definitely has her part of responsibility.

i wish you (and her) luck.