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jimk 08-20-2003 08:59 AM

your parents
 
just had a little inspiration courtesy of my 7-week old son this morning:

my folks split up when i was in college & i kinda spent the next 20 years living a life that demonstrated that family didn't mean a fucking thing to me.

but man, the gummy smile of your infant sure can bend your mind a little..........

there is not a word for the depth of feeling i've got for these little jerks. and i gotta assume that at one point (if not still) my parents felt that way about me.

i'm usually not sappy. quite cynical actually. but unless you had some sort of really fucked up home life as a kid, give the 'rents a call soon. they probably think about you a lot more than you know.

baaa 08-20-2003 09:23 AM

awwwwwwww

jimk 08-20-2003 09:35 AM

i knew i had that coming.........

phoenix1002 08-20-2003 09:39 AM

Hmm... kinda reminds me of last year when I went to college.... I didn't call my parents for the first 3 or 4 days. I just kinda forgot to do it... One of my good friends, who also goes to the same school as me, actually called my parents before I did. How's that for a delinquent kid, eh?

Oh, and of course, my friend won't let me forget that she called my home first... ever... ;)

Amethyst 08-20-2003 10:04 AM

My parents divorced when I was a young child also. And I don't think that my dad ever thinks about me the only person he thinks about is himself. Maybe I am wrong and I hope so but that is how it appears to me.

oWnAg3 08-20-2003 10:16 AM

Amethyst, were we seperated at birth? lol. My parents split up while I was young, too. My dad seems to have the same problem as yours. He also thinks that everything is a joke. It really pisses me off. And, he is a heavy smoker. I quit seeing him some time ago. I miss him now and then, but I will choose not to see him until he cleans up his act.

mastertakana 08-20-2003 10:20 AM

Jimk, your words are very good.

We may spend time dwelling on issues that we have. This wastes much valuable time and is not so good. I will call them and ask them how they are doing, I will ask them many questions about their lives; that will do the trick.

Good Day

dnd 08-20-2003 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by phoenix1002
Hmm... kinda reminds me of last year when I went to college.... I didn't call my parents for the first 3 or 4 days. I just kinda forgot to do it... One of my good friends, who also goes to the same school as me, actually called my parents before I did. How's that for a delinquent kid, eh?

Oh, and of course, my friend won't let me forget that she called my home first... ever... ;)

i usually go for a week or more before seeing my folks, don't see them for a few months every term being at uni. I'm just always busy and they call me when they need advice! haha!!

Amethyst 08-20-2003 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by oWnAg3
Amethyst, were we seperated at birth? lol. My parents split up while I was young, too. My dad seems to have the same problem as yours. He also thinks that everything is a joke. It really pisses me off. And, he is a heavy smoker. I quit seeing him some time ago. I miss him now and then, but I will choose not to see him until he cleans up his act.
We may have been split up at birth. My dad is also a heavy smoker and thinks everything is a joke. He also doesn't know my phone number which I find crazy. But anyway. I think I need to seperate myself from him also but I don't think he will ever straighten up and I don't want my kids to miss out on the relationship, or lack of, that they think they have with him.

clavus 08-20-2003 04:59 PM

My parents rock. By sheer luck, my Dad's office is one block from mine. (we live 50 miles apart). I have lunch with him weekly.

The more I fall in love with my kids, the more I see how important I am to my folks.

cj2112 08-20-2003 05:11 PM

I am very blessed to have such incredible parents and step-parents. I live relatively close to my mom and step-dad, so naturally I see them much more often than I see my dad and step-mom who live about 12 hours away. Both sets of parents are people I truly admire and respect, and I am lucky to have them in my life.
What brought about this realization? Having kids made me appreciate my parents sooooo much more.

tj2001cobra 08-20-2003 07:06 PM

I dont have a perfect family, far from it actually, but I have always stayed close to it. I really enjoy my parents and my 2 sisters. As we grow older as kids (late twenty's and thirty's), I grow closer and closer to them. Especially my parents. They way they treat their grandchildren. It's great.

I never go more than a week without talking to my parents. I've been thinking lately about how death scares me and I am not ready to lose them yet. I know it is inevitable in the next 10-30 years, or at any time for that matter, but I sure dont like thinking about it.

nostalgic1 08-20-2003 07:45 PM

i know the feeling man.. my parents weren't divorced.. but me and my parents never really got along.. especcially my father and i... we don't get along... and probably never will... there is quite a long story behind it that i don't want to get into here...

Midlandmadman 08-21-2003 03:14 AM

I love both my parents...... Although I don't tell my Mom enough and my Dad won't let me say it to him. (He is just too macho!!! hahaha) They will celebrate their 40th wedding aniversary in November !!! Until my Dad retired from work, I can't ever recall them having an argument ( although they must have ). Now that Dad is home all day I think he drives Mom a bit crazy and they have silly little arguments over nothing. (they are quite funny to watch, when they are yapping off about toast or some other silly thing.) I sure am a lucky guy to have parents that never split up. There aren't many people that stay togeather that long. I guess I am a bit off topic....... I think I'll stop and go call my parents.

MikeyChalupa 08-21-2003 03:58 AM

Mine (and my maternal grandparents) are here in town, staying with my family right now. My wife is due Sept. 5, so they wanted to come down for a week and help out.

It's cramped in here, it's only a 3 bedroom apartment, but it's nice to have them around to spoil my son (and my wife and I.)

-Mikey

jimk 08-21-2003 04:10 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by clavus
The more I fall in love with my kids, the more I see how important I am to my folks.

this is definitely one of the unexpected realizations/benefits of having kids.

TIO 08-21-2003 10:06 AM

The best thing I ever did for my relationship with my folks was move out. Now, they are no longer the wardens; they are two remarkable people who made me what I am today, and to whom I owe a large debt (which they will collect, don't you worry about that). I really talk with Dad a lot, he calls pretty often, and now that my brother's at college, I have a lot of fun with him, too.

skysooner 08-21-2003 10:17 AM

I know that time will be coming with me. My two boys are 7 and 4, so they are pretty tied to daddy. At some point it will shift. I just hope to be a better dad to them than my parents were to me. My parents were into the whole 70s find yourself hippie and drug culture, and it sure didn't make them into responsible parents. They finally grew up when they divorced each other, and both of them did very well for themselves later on.

AxelF 08-21-2003 11:37 AM

Last week I called my mom from Nice during my vacation in Italy and France. I got 2 sentences in of how great it was until she started showering me with her own stuff, like "they want to change my balcony" and stuff. It pissed me off a little. But I know she loves me.

Today she called me on my birthday and said she has put $1200 on my account. And I'm a 39 year old executive, kind of.

She's a doll.

Darkblack 08-21-2003 11:39 AM

Kids are great. Just remember that smile the first time they break something of yours. That's how you keep from killing them.

Apokx 08-22-2003 01:08 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Darkblack
Kids are great. Just remember that smile the first time they break something of yours. That's how you keep from killing them.

Haha

Humor gets me out of soo much trouble.

Minx 08-22-2003 08:02 AM

I think the first time you really truly appreciate your parents is when you have your own kids. You realize how amazingly precious your child is and then the light bulb clicks on and you realize that is exactly how your parents felt about you. It's a little humbling in a way.
I'm very lucky to have a wonderful relationship with both my parents, whom I love more than anything, and they also live very very close to me so I see them everyday.

IC3 08-22-2003 08:53 AM

My dad left me, my sis & my mom when I was 5 years old...At the time I was sad, But didn't understand fully what was going on. A short time after that, My mom started dating a new guy and till this day I will respect him more than any man I will ever meet...Why? Because he was there unlike my father to play video games with me, And help put together car models that I always use to have problems with.

My stepfather is a kid trapped inside a mans body...He would always go bike riding with me & my friends, In the summertime it would be all my friends verses him in water fights, The same for snowball fights. He would be out there everyday after work with us playing street hockey.

He taught me how to skate, How to shoot a puck on skates without falling on my ass.

There is one thing I really miss, I miss getting him his beers from the fridge and opening them for him...I don't know why, But I always loved doing that. I still do when I am over there visiting him.

He broke up with my mother for another girl about 2 or 3 years ago, At the time I hated him...I lost all respect that i had for him. The man that raised me from the age of 5 to 25, Tryed his best at teaching me from right & wrong...This same man turned around and did something that i could never do to the girl I love...And I could not understand how he could do something like that to me & My Mother.

I still remember the day they sat me down and told me that they were breaking up, My mother had tears running down her face...My stepfather could barely look me in the eye....I hated him, I wanted to kill him. I thought that this was the perfect father figure...Someone who would never do the same as what my father did to me.

As time has past though, I have realized that what he my stepfather has done was stupid...But nobody is perfect, I will never look at him the same as I once did..But I cannot turn on the man who raised me and taught me sooo much stuff.

viejo gringo 08-22-2003 10:13 AM

He is gone now, but she is 91 and trying to stay out
of a nurseing home....she lives in a new assisted living
home....so I pay for her phone...Yea, I think it's been
a few days since we talked..got to go make a call...

MacGnG 08-22-2003 11:33 AM

pretty much every friday night we goto my grandmother's house and eat dinner, most of the family. been like that my whole life. that has really helped me for whatever reason. now that im in college i kinda miss it a bit but i'm glad that i'm growin up and can appreciate things i hadn't b4 :)

bernadette 08-22-2003 01:15 PM

my mom was pretty fuct up when i was a kid. she beat me & my brother with a leather belt (or whatever was handy atm) for the smallest things, like spilling a glass of milk, whatever. dumb shit. my bro & i grew to hate her.

well finally i got some therapy & mom got better, too after a quadruple bypass! (plus being several states away didn't hurt ;)). i learned it was easiest to try to understand & let go of the past.

now i mostly talk to my mom on yahoo messenger! haha she is too cheap to make long distance calls, so i call once in a blue moon. my dad is mostly quiet & doesn't say a lot, but once in a while he & i will have a good chat when i phone them.

i visit them about every other year. and until my grandmother became ill & dependent on them, they did visit us every year.

rogue49 08-22-2003 01:49 PM

I appreciate what my mom did for me & my sister, she pulled off the impossible by herself.
She taught me how to treat others, and allowed me to be myself.

I resent what my dad is, he's never been involved with my life,
I maybe see him every 5 years, if that.

Polar opposites
mom: giving to a fault & is a good friend.
dad: selfish, irresponsible & has no idea who I am truly.

I've promise to be the type of parent my mom was,
and I know I have the heart...I just hope I have her stamina.

She is my rolemodel on how to treat people & your children.

Menoman 08-23-2003 06:55 AM

Well, my parents split up when I was like 2 months old, I never seen my Biological parent(male) since then.

My (now) Dad, is one of the best men in the world to me, and there's not another person on the planet I'll ever call my dad or father.


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