Accidentally calling the Managing Director of your company "mate"
 

... someone said "Hi Adam"... my back was turned and I was getting a file, or some paper, something... so I just replied "Allright, mate?"

Turned round, oh its the Managing Director.

He didnt seem all that taken by being addressed like that to be honest...

Depends on the person. Some higher ups will jump down your throat if you give them a respectful nod of acknowledgement. However, the ones that generally get the most respect from me aren't concerned with being addressed as "mate" or "bud" or whatever informal terms.

Unless he's upset, I don't see an issue. And if he's upset, why? You didn't know it was him, otherwise you would have been more respectful.

what was the response that you would have said had you seen him coming?

if you were in australia.......she'll be right mate!

no, seriously, you can pretty much throw the 'mate' word round with almost anyone

Never having been in the military I don't have any experience in formal interaction with an organizational superior.

I always referred to pretty well anybody by, interchangeable, their surnames with proper prefix or given name ("howdy Mr. Smith" or "howdy Bob" - this goes for the cleaning staff on up to the company president), workplace nick name or job name ("howdy fellow racker/inspector" "howdy Dildo" or "howdy departmental supervisor person"), a general greeting no matter who was in the group ("howdy folks").

I was never given any reason to think any of my greetings to be unacceptable by anyone. If I had been given any static/attitude I probably would have asked the grief-giver just what bug had flown up their ass to make them such a piece of work. This again goes for everyone from the cleaning staff on up to the company president

You can guess I've been pure blue-collar my entire working career. I've been told by my Lady that my responses to some situations she finds herself in professionally would not be acceptable. My response to that is "fuck'em", but then I don't have anything invested in appearing subservient, servile, or placatory towards anyone in a work environment.

I call officers of the law "Officer", doctors in a hospital "Doctor" and when instructed on what to call a judge I would no doubt refer to one as "your Honour" or whatever it is. But if I shared turf with those folks as part of my job I would assume a different, less formal and more interpersonally aware relationship existed between us.

meh.

Isn't mate like saying dude, bro, or man? I agree with Jazz, unless he is pissed, don't worry.

I address most people by sir or ma'am. You would be surpised how many women get pissy when you say ma'am, because that implies "old age".

This. Agree 100%.

I've have worked in big and small companies and I don't think I've ever been all that deferential in my interactions with management. Now that I am management, I don't expect it either.

At least you didn't mistake him for someone specifically and call him "fucktard."

Dude, you need a vacation. You worry too much about little things at work.

LMFAO!!!!!

I dont thinks its especially work, Im just a highly strung person prone to over reacting or seeing the worse in people's perception of me.

If I were your boss, I'd take it as a term of friendship and appreciate it. As long as you're doing what's expected of you, and you're not a horrible douche, I'd be fine with it.

No one calls me "mate" and lives!

I've heard of your "frothing black seed" GH - it is no surprise to hear of the inevitable demise of the vessels that you decant your essence into :expressionless:

I mate for death!

Deathmate, muthafucka!

I am going to refer to all of my casual acquaintances henceforth as deathmates.

If I hear that term in casual conversation, I'll know where it came from.

If the person was someone I did not usually call 'mate', then realising I had done so with back turned would give me a slight 'whoops ... inconsistent' bell, but I'd 'let myself off the hook' because any tendency to 'see the worst in someone's perception of me' would be within the context that THEY could see that I hadn't seen it was them.


Your description reminds me of my own shyness which I have taken steps to work through. I've worked a bit on my own sensitivity ... Part of it is: "What attitude to I want to be going around all my life." I like Kramer's, because he seems to be letting himself behave according to HIS own will, at the same time as respecting social protocols unless in a position of familiarity. The other part is: When I have made a judgement about someone else's perception of me ... I 'must' take steps to establish whether that judgement ahs been 'accurate'. By which I mean 'can other facts which tend to back up or disprove my judgements. Bottom line, is my judgement well formed and backed by experience. Slowly but surely, I've become a bit better at assessing the quality of my judgments. The knock on effect of that info is that by feeling my 'commitment to reality base my judgements' back into my system, my judgements become decreasingly 'wild' or 'skewed'.

I've not yet done away with the feelings of terror, but they now take their place with better bases of action than the old knee-jerks.


All the best :)



PS ... I'll have to remember that 'fucktard' gambit ... lol if I have a really bad day ... I say that to ANYBODY who approaches me from behind, and have ready the 'i thought you were somebody else'. It's as food as the beloved "Whoops .. Wrong Window!" gambit :)

Similar story: I'm enlisted in the Navy, work in the power plant of submarines, and we were replacing a large motor for a pump. I'm re-wiring it, but I'm having trouble getting some cables fitting through their appropriate holes and lining up on the other side. I'm working in a cramped space, and I don't have much room to work with. My friend is on a platform about 15 feet up, and he's making fun of me as I'm struggling with these stupid cables. I'm ignoring him for the most part, since I've almost got it, but I was getting fed up.
Finally I hear from above me: "Hey Bogel, do you know what you're doing down there?" My response, as sneeringly arrogant as I could make it: "I know what I'm doing, do you know what I'm doing?" I look up to face my ship's Captain (essentially our CEO, for you business minded guys), our Engineer (our VP of operations), and my EDMC (my boss's boss) looking over the ledge at me. Luckily they laughed it off and kept going, but that story was legend on the ship for a few weeks, since I'm normally the last guy to talk back to those higher-ups. Anyway, hopefully your Managing Director laughed it off too, at least in his head.