Perfect Inventions
 

IMHO, there are very few inventions that we have that can be described as perfect. Things that are simple, do exactly the job they are designed for, don't break, no unneeded bellsnwhistles, etc.

In this vein, I offer:

The toilet seat.

Yes, I was just ... pondering, just how wonderful this little thing is. It seems to fit everyone, it has evolved over Millenia, it is comfortable, and while there might be slight differences (color, material, open notch in the front, etc.) they are all essentially the same. Yes, I believe that the toilet seat is one of man's perfect inventions. ( Sorry , no urinal in the basement bathroom remodeling project for those of you who remember back that far . )

The wheel .

Though one could argue it wasn't so much invented as it was found

how about that paper clip...

the simple machines:

lever
inclined plane
wheel and axle
screw
wedge
pulley

They are so perfect they reveal not only how the physical world works but how our minds work as well!

the wooden top

Re: Perfect Inventions
 

My idea of the perfect invention -- cell phone. I don't know how I lived without it. Don't even have a land line at the house.

*stands back and waits to be pelted with comments*


You just think this because you can't have a urinal in your basement! ;) Seriuously what ever happened with that?

Isn't a screw just a modified inclined plane? I think I remember that from school.

Re: Perfect Inventions
 

i can't think of anything that doesn't break. so i offer the toothbrush as a "perfect invention". simple in design, inexpensive, and does a great job

Re: Re: Perfect Inventions
 

I don't own a cell phone, and I feel like I may be the only one in my county that doesn't.

They do seem like amazing devices, I just have the viewpoint that I don't want to be "bothered" by phones away from home.

I don't use the phone much anyway, so this is also probably the reason I don't own a cell phone, as I would rarely use it and it would be a waste to pay for every month.

I will admit they are indeed very convienent, and even amazing, I just don't see the need for one at this point in my life.

As for it being the "perfect invention" I am not sure. I guess it all depends on your viewpoint, as I personally would not see it being entirely negative if they were removed from civilization. :)

But that is my opinion, based solely on the fact that I don't use them, and have no desire to.

Interesting side note.. I was talking to a friend who was studying abroad in Japan, and one of the more interesting things he told me was that in Japan, they don't have toilet seats, as they don't sit at all when doing "their business."

From what I gathered they just squatted over a "basin" and went to work. This initially seemed like quite a unique talent that would be rather difficult, but quite important, to master. :)

Unknown Poster,
in some ways, yes.
at this level everything is a modified something else.
the principle is gaining mechanical advantage
which is another way to say "leverage".
See the root "lever" in there.
For me, the discussion of the simple machines is a philosophical one.
Thanks for your input in that direction!

Re: Re: Re: Perfect Inventions
 

It's like that in Thailand. Must be old washrooms in Japan though. The Japanese have really cool toilets with built in bidets, heated seats, blow dryers for your butt, multiple flush settings. Some of them play music to mask the tinkle noises.

Sorry about the urinal thing Marco, we gave it a shot.

I nominate the humble bucket. When you need a bucket little else will suffice.

Little Red Wagon.

Think back. When you were a kid with a wagon, weren't you just about the happiest kid in the world?

The original super soakers!
I'm talking about the 150s or whatever number they were. Before all the "constant pressure system" and "instant fill" things came out.
Those things shot better than any other water gun out there, and never broke. My old super soaker still works, and has lasted longer than any of the newer ones that I've purchased.

In the same line, the original Nerf guns. Again, they were tough as nails, and they actually shot the darts. The new ones are weak, and break after the first good fight.

Sorry to hear you lost the urinal battle, Marco... I guess some fights you just can't win.

00

The modern toaster and coffee pot... I love those things.

The Sitting Wonder
 

For my part I suggest the chair. Yep, its simple and its effective. It comes in many designs, shapes and sizes, three legs and four. The chair is wonder unto itself. When I come home from work the first I thing I look forward to is sitting in my chair, there I can sit and do nothing but rest. The chair is even portable, though some more so than other mind you. The chair is a marvel so similar to the toilet seat that they must be cousin. But the chair is so much better for the simple reason that its softer and in some cases the chair comes with its own foot rest. From sitting in my chair in front of the boobtube, to resting on the deck in the breeze, to relaxing by the fire, the chair is the item enjoy most in my house.

Far and away the greatest discovery/invention since the simple machines is .....toilet paper.

Though I am please they are around, I can live without toilet seats (our asian bretheren rarely use them in public restrooms) and tooth brushes. Paper clips and cell phones are great luxuries but we've all gotten along without them from time to time. The TiVo is a great little gadget but strictly for fun and I can sit on the floor if there isn't a comfy chair around. But I submit to you that a life without toilet paper is a lesser life indeed.

hmmm... fulcrum... great for launching your peas at your significant other.

Ah, you haven't lived till you experienced the joys of using leaves in wilderness, searching for those special leaves that are poisonus is just another part of the fun....

The mouse.. can you imagine pushing tab to transfer between links? Screw the keyboard!

the microwave is my nomination

Re: Re: Re: Re: Perfect Inventions
 

Now that you mention it, maybe he is in China. Would that make more sense for them to have "toilets" similiar to the ones mentioned above?

Actually, now that I think of it, I am pretty sure it was indeed China and not Japan that he is studying abroad in.

My mistake.

I am so dissappointed about the urinal. I hope I can one day pick up on your valiant effort Marco.

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Perfect Inventions
 

I think most asian countries use the "squatting" toilets in thier public restrooms. I was in Japan a few years back and most of the public rooms had squatters and all of the private ones had really bad ass heated, squirty, blow drying sitters. They really are quite nice.

The wheel....

I like those bras that open from the front.

The Internet is a close second.

Re: Re: Perfect Inventions
 

Roaming.

An I agree with Johnny Rotten that the front-opening bra is great, even if I've never had the chance to operate one.

I can't believe no one has said Porn. I mean really, I don't need a toilet seat if I have porn. I'm a little disappointed in you people.

The transformer. It is over 98% efficient in most circumstances, and has made possible the vast proliferation of electronic modern conveniences.

Twist off bottle caps

scissors and door knobs

nitendo systems
i don't know what i would if i didn't have my playstation. it keeps me occupied and i'm not annoying everyone.

I was thinking zippers...

the tonka dumptruck.
the old ones that were made of metal not the new plastic toys. those trucks lasted forever.

The internet
Heh its not perfect [ don't we know it ] but probably the best invention in the last 200 years

I don't know... I've gotten along fine without a microwave for quite a long time-19 years of my life, actually. We have one now, but I really don't use it for much more than popcorn. Really, anything you can do in a microwave, you can do on a stove.

Except maybe making it blow up by putting an egg inside... I've never seen anyone do that with a stove.

scotch tape...

velcro...

sundial...

going back to the original post...

the toilet seat is *not* perfect. I would suggest that you look at the direction of toilets in japan/korea: the squatting toilet is far superior. bowel movements go out much much easier, there is much less splash, and there is less contamination of butt cheek to pocelain.

that being said, i once lost pair of sunglass i put in my pocket because i squatted too deeply...

The fork. We will never create a better fork.

(I left the knife out because the quality varies from manufacturer - some are not so good and some are great, and the spoon is left out because different depths and widths can be explored.)

What about the Spork SecretMethod70?

Claw hammer. When the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail (someone special first said that.)

those flip out hand fan things. Cheap, easy to use, effective. what could be better

Ahhh, the spork....

the pillow

the cup

the condom

The spork is a failure. Its bowl is too shallow to use as a decent spoon for soup, and its teeth are too short to spear much of anything, and barely suficient to hold food in place for cutting. It doe, however, have the second coolest name out of all utensiils, second to the spatula, adn more religious followers than teh spoon and the fork combined ever will have.

The Venus 2000

http://www.sybian.com/venus2000_overview.htm

and for the ladies...

The Sybian

http://www.sybian.com/sybian_overview.htm

The Titty Board Post Generator gets my nomination. That fuckin' thing saves a ton of time.

fire, we wouldnt be here without it

Clothes are materials of the same that make things translucent.

The Japanese method of folding metal in sword making.

Indoor plumbing. I cannot imagine how I survived 7 years of my life without it back in good ole' Ukraine.

sometimes, all i need is the air that i breathe...

Coffee and a hot shower for the morning.
Red wine and TFP for the evening.

Liquid Prel (any shampoo).

It's bringing families together. A mother of 40 and a daughter of 16 are talking again for the first time!

"Oh mom, don't use to much, its concentrated" "Oh, it makes your hair shiney"

The heart lung Machine? whats so great about that. If its in your cabinet and it falls out...its gona break! Shampoo won't break.

And if you put a pearl in it, it sinks to the bottom real slow...

Gota love Mel Brooks

spice girls.
very nearly perfect.

Boobies, perfect in every way, nuture you when you are a yet a baby, and comfort you for the rest of your life. Ahhhhhhhhh......there is nothing like boobies......

Bowls.... nearly perfect except I still spill stuff.

I'd have to say refrigeration.
It is true that man lived without it for a long time but he also died of rotting food, scurvy, drank warm beer and ate a pretty bland diet.
I've lived without running water and electricity. The thing I missed most was the refrigerator.

just saw a pic in exhibition...clothspins would qualify, if used properly...

For the readers out there, it's hands down gotta be...Throw away underwear with short stories printed in the crotch, for those that like to read on the crapper.

soap.
and deoderant.

I'm putting in a second vote for porn. Mags, video, DVD, internet, whatever. Life in my teens and early 20's would have been much less exciting without it.

I say spoons

The clock and irrigation. Where would be be without these?

I'm surprised no one has said this but industrial strength duct tape is one of God's many gifts to man.

I've broken 3 or 4 toilet seats in my life, and most of the ones are just too damn small nowadays. Being 6'9" doesn't make life easy.

The perfect invention is one that accomplishes what it was designed to do. It may break, but only after a designated design life. I vote for the spoon myself.

the internal-combustion engine...I only say this as the hubby pulls up in the driveway...I think it might work ;)

It's debatable if you could call these inventions, rather than developments but I humby submit the following.

In order,

Language
Writing

Without both of these, we would have no civilization, as we know it, and therefore none of the other more obvious "inventions".

Agriculture comes a close third.

I highly recommend the book The Third Chimpanzee for some very interesting discussions on this fascinating subject.


Mr Mephisto

The umbrella. It's my best friend on the rainy school days when I have to walk home. :)

Have you ever been... caught... in a zipper? There's nothing perfect about it.

Language....unbreakable, versatile, and the key to civilization.

Unless you want to actually seal some ducts, then you've got problems =P

Thongs!

Snaps: those of you with infants will agree.
That and TP.

caffeine...nuff said :D

the perfect invention is NOT THE COMPUTER..

it sucks.. then again.. i'm just bored with it right now

Dammit, took the words right out of my mouth. Made 'em a little more eloquent, but ya still took 'em right out of my mouth.

the pill....

The M-14.

If you're going to go that vein, out of ARTelevision's list, there are only three machines. The lever, the inclined plane, and the pulley.

The wheel and axle is just a lever that rotates 360°.
The screw is just an inclined plane wraped around a cylinder.
The wedge is just an mobile inclined plane.

The three simple machines that I listed are, however, very different from each other. So much so, I believe, that the only thing they have in common is that they all trade distance for force to perform the same amount of work (likely, the definition of a machine).

We're only human and nothing we make is perfect and as far as I can tell never will be ...unless your definition of "perfect" is less perfect than mine. I mean material objects of course. Maybe conceptual stuff can be perfect but I'm not philosphical enough to decide that.

Things break, wear out ...is that perfect? I don't think so. Some of the good ideas above are "nearly perfect" and that's good enough for me. I guess I'm just easy.

Why do they call it duck tape?


Because it seals quacks.

My definition of a perfect invention is something that doesn't have to be improved. Since cellphones always have their defects and there are new phones coming out all the time i wouldn't call it a perfect invention.

I would say the quilt is an incredibly good invention :P don't have the guts to call it perfect though.

The WC toilet! OMG I love the WC toilet with all my heart!

I'll just go with electricity.

deodorant

The lensatic compass is a mighty fine instrument.

pencil and paper.

weaving

Some people shouldn't be unclothed.

The fish hook. The beer cooler. And the lawnmower......Not MY lawnmower, the kids down the street. Mines a piece of shit that requires work

The bicycle is pretty near perfect: low impact on joints, good efficiency on energy, etc. I just wish roads were more adapted for its riders.

The PERFECT invention is cheap, simple, everyone needs it, and it can only be used once. The safety match.

global warming, banking crisis, housing crisis, religion, Las Vegas

I think Cat's Eyes are a pretty good invention. Obviously not quite so epic as fire or the wheel, but pretty useful. Driving down dark lanes at night is a lot easier when they've bothered putting some on the road for you. I remember seeing them on TV as a new invention many years ago now, and thinking they were absolute genius because of their simplicity. How do you make driving safer by lighting the road without actually lighting the road? Whoever came up with that is pretty bloody clever.

hot dog bun

I would say it is the camera,as it preserves the past present and future. Back to the future>now has a real meaning.