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clavus 12-15-2010 04:10 PM

Fucker
 
This morning I sat in my mechanic's waiting room for an hour. My mechanic is possibly the finest human on the planet: generous, kind, competent and patient.

Some lady ripped him a new one for "breaking" her car. It was dead. She was stranded on the side of the road and it was ALL HIS FAULT. Then she called back. Oopsie. She was out of gas.

That lady is a fucker.

Is it just me, or are there more fuckers than usual lately? Did someone leave a gate open?

Willravel 12-15-2010 04:17 PM

Were you sure to point out to your mechanic that she was a fucker? I know good mechanics can seem like they're superhuman, but sometimes they need a pick-me-up just like the rest of us.

It could be the holidays and either that bizarre consumerism or that odd sense of entitlement. It could be the stress of high unemployment and all of the corresponding consequences. It could be the weather.

Apparently there are fuckers living in my own house. Turns out I have termites and I'll probably have to tent the house after Christmas. Fuckers.

LordEden 12-15-2010 04:44 PM

Fuckers, they are EVERYWHERE.

I was at the customer service center of walmart returning some keys that didn't work. There was a woman in front of me yelling at the customer service people about how her vacuum cleaner she just bought didn't work. She didn't want them to replace it (which they had already brought her a new one in the box) she wanted to tell someone off because she bought a broken vacuum cleaner. She yelled at two managers about how mad she was and kept demanding the district manager's number so she could yell at him.

She didn't want a fix to the problem, she just wanted other people to feel like shit.

While I was getting my money back for the keys, I looked at the woman helping me and said, "Aren't people just wonderful." She smiled and nodded then glanced over at the yelling women. I told her that's all she had to say.

I hate people.

dlish 12-15-2010 05:06 PM

i was at a local supermarket down the road that caters for emergency groceries. Its a small place about half the size of a basketball field and people usually walk in to pick up milk or cereal along the way home.

i was standing in line when an older south african lady in a heavy afrikaans accent started complaining to the filipino chashier girl that she walked up and down the whole isling looking for something for her sweet tooth and couldnt find a single thing she found desirable. "you've got to get a bigger selection, there's absolutely nothing that i saw that was appealing. nothing appealing whatsoever. Your shop is too small, you need more things in it. there's absolutely nothing appealing in here for my sweet tooth....(rinse repeat). The cashier shrugged and said, and what can i do about it?

then the bagging dude filling up her shopping bags then quipped...this is not Dubai mall (worlds biggest mall), if you want more groceries go there.

i think everyone in the line pissed themselves laughing.

later on i saw her waiting in the carpark for a taxi. i'd have offered to give her a lift since all the communities are nearby, but she was a Fucker and didnt deserve it. Taking it out on the poor filipino cashier is not fair nor reasonable.

clavus 12-15-2010 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Willravel (Post 2852394)
Turns out I have termites and I'll probably have to tent the house after Christmas. Fuckers.

Fucking xylophagous fuckers!

Willravel 12-15-2010 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dlish (Post 2852398)
Its a small place about half the size of a basketball field...

:confused:

SirLance 12-15-2010 05:56 PM

Some fucker at my mom's ALF stole her cash. If I find the fucker, he'll be fucked.

dlish 12-15-2010 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Willravel (Post 2852404)
:confused:

dude... this place serves literally thousands of households for their daily needs.

in a country where everything is the biggest, tallest, most expensive.. a shop of this size is considered small. its all relative!

threadjack p.s. for your info - dubai mall is the worlds largest mall, at the foot of the worlds largest tower, overlooking the worlds biggest fountain and contains the worlds biggest bookstore, aquarium and god knows what else.

id say half a basketball court is small ;)

uncle phil 12-16-2010 03:17 AM

fuckers have to live with themselves...

The_Jazz 12-16-2010 05:44 AM

There must be a lot of small penises in Dubai. Oh wait, dlish lives there - of COURSE there are lots of small penises in Dubai.

I'm occassionally a fucker myself. Ask my bank.

jewels 12-16-2010 07:24 AM

Yes, I've heard about those small penises in Dubai!

I've had quite a few calls this week containing long-winded screaming soliloquies ranging from 10 to 20 minutes in length before I can utter a word.
When I do, I'm interrupted, the monologue continues, I'm called every name in the book and the customer hangs up with an unresolved issue.

Stupid fuckers!

Grasshopper Green 12-16-2010 07:47 AM

I haven't witnessed any fuckery in person in awhile, but it's probably because I'm home most of the day. I think it's entitlement - everyone thinks they're special and their problem is more important and dammit, I want XYZ now! That, and common courtesy and manners are on the decline.

My mom works in retail. Her motto when she deals with people like this is "At least I don't live with that sorry sonofabitch".

dlish 12-16-2010 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Jazz (Post 2852589)
There must be a lot of small penises in Dubai. Oh wait, dlish lives there - of COURSE there are lots of small penises in Dubai.

I'm occassionally a fucker myself. Ask my bank.

you fucker!

just remember.. aussies have big balls..people in dubai have small penises. works perfectly for me.

and for the record, its not the penetration that matters, its the slap of the sack

uncle phil 12-16-2010 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Jazz (Post 2852589)
There must be a lot of small penises in Dubai. Oh wait, dlish lives there - of COURSE there are lots of small penises in Dubai.

I'm occassionally a fucker myself. Ask my bank.

Quote:

Originally Posted by dlish (Post 2852675)
you fucker!

just remember.. aussies have big balls..people in dubai have small penises. works perfectly for me.

and for the record, its not the penetration that matters, its the slap of the sack

you fuckers need to get a room...

Jinn 12-16-2010 01:53 PM

You know whose a fucker? The Pope!


Very NSFW Audio, very hilarious.

Quote:

Fuck the motherfucker, fuck the motherfucker,
Fuck the motherfucker hes a fucking motherfucker.
Fuck the motherfucker, fuck the fucking fucker,
Fuck the motherfucker hes a total fucking fucker
Fuck the motherfucker, fuck the motherfucker,
Fuck the mother fucker, fuck him, fuck the motherfucker.
Fuck the motherfucker, fuck the motherfucking pope.

Fuck the motherfucker, and fuck you motherfucker
If you think that motherfucker is sacred.
If you cover for another motherfucker whos a kiddy-fucker,
Fuck you, youre no better than the motherfucking rapist.
And if you dont like the swearing that this motherfucker forced from me
And reckon it shows moral or intellectual paucity
Then fuck you motherfucker, this is language one employs
When one is fucking cross about fuckers fucking boys

I dont give a fuck if calling the pope a motherfucker
Means you unthinkingly brand me an unthinking apostate.
This has nowt to do with other fucking godly motherfuckers
Im not interested right now in fucking scriptural debate.
There are other fucking songs and there are other fucking ways,
Ill be a religious apologist on other fucking days,
But the fact remains if you protect a SINGLE kiddy fucker
Then Pope or Prince or Plumber, youre a fucking mother fucker.

See I dont give a fuck what any other motherfucker
Believes about Jesus and his motherfucking mother.
Ive no problem with the spiritual beliefs of all these fuckers
While those beliefs dont impact on the happiness of others,
But if you build your church on claims of fucking moral authority
And with threats of hell impose it on others in society,
Then you, you motherfuckers, can expect some fucking wrath
When it turns out youve been fucking us in our motherfucking asses.

So fuck the motherfucker, and fuck you motherfucker
If youre still a motherfucking papist.
If he covered for a single motherfucker whos a kiddy-fucker,
Fuck the motherfucker, hes as evil as the rapist.
And if you look into your motherfucking heart and tell me true
If this motherfucking stupid fucking song offended you,
With its filthy fucking language and its fucking direspect,
If it made you feel angry, go ahead and write a letter,
But if you find me more offensive than the fucking possibility
The pope protected priests when they were getting fucking fiddly
Then listen to me motherfucker - this here is a fact,
You are just as morally misguided as that motherfucking,
Power-hungry, self-aggrandized bigot in the stupid fucking hat.

Ourcrazymodern? 12-16-2010 03:18 PM

"...more fuckers lately" would be acknowledging the population or their morals.
There are only more fuckers because there are more of us, less caring.

...it doesn't bode well.

uncle phil 12-16-2010 04:08 PM

whose?

LordEden 12-16-2010 04:13 PM

OCM, you like those fuckers to much.

GreyWolf 12-17-2010 08:03 AM

Sometimes you hate the fuckers; sometimes you are the fucker. I absolutely lost it at a basketball referee a couple of weeks ago. It was an atrocious call, one of the worst I've ever seen (I'm a referee myself). Usually you just take this as an "it happens". That day, I hadn't slept all night (insomnia), it was against my son, and I lost it. I was obnoxious and way over the top. I hate how I reacted. It wasn't really me, but I was the asshole doing it.

A month ago, I was at a fast food joint waiting to order. I wasn't paying much attention to the guy in front of me at the counter but when I looked at the young woman (20-ish) giving him his order, I saw she was crying. He snapped at her that it was about time and he didn't know why he bothered to eat at this dump where you couldn't get what you want and the service was slow and inept. I sort of snapped my head and said "then eat somewhere else asshole!" He looked at me like he was going to tear into me but thought better of it. I then told the server to ignore him, he was an asshole and she shouldn't pay any attention to him. She actually smiled, and when I was back there a week ago, she actually remembered and thanked me.

Now... two things about that. First, somebody defending a person like that shouldn't have to happen, and if/when it does happen, saying something kind shouldn't be so rare that the person remembers it for a long time (I don't eat there that often). Second, in both cases I was probably a bit of an ass myself (certainly to the referee, and possibly to the asshole who just MIGHT have had a legitimate complaint). I'll apologise to the referee next time I see him because I definitely owe him. But it sort of makes me wonder if I'm an asshole and don't recognise it.

MeltedMetalGlob 03-19-2011 12:40 PM

We have a few fuckers as tenants in commercial properties- they leave food all over their space after hosting a party, then complain that we don't take care of the building when mice and roaches show up.

They're also dumb enough to badmouth us in front of other tenants when we're standing behind them without their knowledge... but then again, fuckers aren't known for their intelligence- they're known for their proficiency in fuckery.

canuckguy 03-19-2011 02:16 PM

My sister who just bought herself two new Coach bags and eats out almost every meal calling my mom to borrow money. My mom say she would have to think about it, my sister then tells my mom oh no don't worry about it she'll just take her kids to the food bank. That is a major league fucker.

Oh her husband just bought new clubs for golf season last week.....yep.

Strange Famous 03-19-2011 03:01 PM

I think you could well apply this kind of terminology to people who stand on the wrong side of the escalator.

---------- Post added at 11:01 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:57 PM ----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by GreyWolf (Post 2853011)
A month ago, I was at a fast food joint waiting to order. I wasn't paying much attention to the guy in front of me at the counter but when I looked at the young woman (20-ish) giving him his order, I saw she was crying. He snapped at her that it was about time and he didn't know why he bothered to eat at this dump where you couldn't get what you want and the service was slow and inept. I sort of snapped my head and said "then eat somewhere else asshole!" He looked at me like he was going to tear into me but thought better of it. I then told the server to ignore him, he was an asshole and she shouldn't pay any attention to him. She actually smiled, and when I was back there a week ago, she actually remembered and thanked me.

Of course, I approve of defending this girl in the face of the thuggery of the hooligan described; but you could have started off with a very polite request for him to stop, and if he responded in any way other than complete compliance and immediate apology, flared up asked him if he was calling you a cunt and he wanted to have a go?

Thats how I would have handled it.

audioguru 03-20-2011 12:35 PM

I was in home depot standing in line when one of this kind of fucker being talked about was ripping into the clerk for things she had or could do nothing about. He was ranting about how he waited for ten minutes for help and never did get any, blah blah blah...

Looking back at other people in line it was very apparent that everyone was getting tired of his ranting at the girl. I intervened with a semi quiet "Why don't you just shut the fuck up?" He whipped around prepared to light into me and had already started with "why don't you mind your own fucking business?"

I have seen very few people bite back words as quickly as this guy did when he saw the size of the guy who had just forcefully told him to shut the fuck up.

The girl thanked me as I walked up to the counter, and I got a whole line of laughs and thumbs up.

---------- Post added at 01:35 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:30 PM ----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strange Famous (Post 2883290)
I think you could well apply this kind of terminology to people who stand on the wrong side of the escalator.

---------- Post added at 11:01 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:57 PM ----------



Of course, I approve of defending this girl in the face of the thuggery of the hooligan described; but you could have started off with a very polite request for him to stop, and if he responded in any way other than complete compliance and immediate apology, flared up asked him if he was calling you a cunt and he wanted to have a go?

Thats how I would have handled it.

Here's the problem with the polite way to intervene, there isn't a way to do it. If you were to ask someone to lighten up that person would turn on you and it might get physical. The only way to intervene with an aggressive and rude person is with pure aggression, if you don't make it definitively aggressive enough to discourage a response back at you it may be on.

Strange Famous 03-20-2011 01:22 PM

or just take the Derek and Clive approach to "fuckers"?

(oh, this isnt safe for work and all btw)


Zeraph 03-20-2011 01:35 PM

A Fucker hurt my sister. If I ever come face to face with him he'll be fucked.

There are more Fuckers than not, I'm surprised you are only just realizing it.

Stoked 03-20-2011 07:08 PM

"fuckers aren't known for their intelligence- they're known for their proficiency in fuckery."

A++ would enjoy again.

yournamehere 03-21-2011 09:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LordEden (Post 2852397)
. . . . She didn't want a fix to the problem, she just wanted other people to feel like shit . . . .

I think that about sums it up.
Some people; you give them a bucket of gold and they'll just bitch about the weight.

Wandrin 03-22-2011 11:44 PM

Yup, they're everywhere! I stopped by the grocery store today, since I'm heading north tomorrow, and it was a very pleasant shopping experience. The type-A folks had already shopped and were at work screwing their employees. The after-work crowd had not yet stopped by to get whatever their honey nagged them about. The store was filled with retirees, who were very polite and tried to keep out of the way.

Then some moron decided that granny hadn't moved out of his way fast enough and began to berate her loudly. She had already moved out of his way, so there was no purpose to it except to pretend that his penis was larger than hers.

I was passing by and calmly explained to him that he had just threatened the life of a timid woman old enough to be his grandmother. As a store employee approached, I asked him if he cared to threaten the life of this woman in front of witnesses. Clem (or whatever his name was), grabbed the woman he was with and left the scene.

Granny said, "He ended a sentence with a preposition. Didn't his teachers tell him about that?" I burst out laughing. You have to love retired elementary school teachers....

She showed much more class than he. I will see his picture in a news article someday, and it won't be because he accomplished something worthwhile.

But who will really care. That is the thing about fuckers. Other than those that they have conditioned to depend upon them, who would miss them when they're gone?

MSD 03-23-2011 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wandrin (Post 2884351)
Granny said, "He ended a sentence with a preposition. Didn't his teachers tell him about that?" I burst out laughing. You have to love retired elementary school teachers....

The idea that you shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition is based on the antiquated notion that since it applied to Latin, it should apply to English. English isn't a romance language, fuckers.

Fremen 03-23-2011 08:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wandrin (Post 2884351)

But who will really care. That is the thing about fuckers. Other than those that they have conditioned to depend upon them, who would miss them when they're gone?

I would. We need someone to look down on and bitch about.
Someone that makes us feel better about ourselves, that we feel morally superior to.
We also need the bad to go along with the good in a society, or else, where's the challenge?
It would be boring, imo.

raging moderate 04-01-2011 05:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fremen (Post 2884657)
I would. We need someone to look down on and bitch about.
Someone that makes us feel better about ourselves, that we feel morally superior to.
We also need the bad to go along with the good in a society, or else, where's the challenge?
It would be boring, imo.

HEYO - moral superiority - nothing feels better, fuckers! :thumbsup:

MSD 04-01-2011 07:27 PM

This weekend, someone sprayed a shitty graffiti tag on a mobile electronic sign announcing a street closure, which will cost the city hundreds or thousands of dollars to replace. I've tagged stuff before, but vandalizing public safety equipment makes you a fucker.

ZombieSquirrel 04-01-2011 07:44 PM

Shit-Damn! Fuck-a-Damn! Fuck-a-Damn-Damn!
Some Motherfucker just fucked my man!
I’ll fuck another fucker, better than the other fucker!
Shit-Damn! Fuck-a-Damn! Fuck-a-Damn-Damn!

Didn't happen. Just a rugby social song that was in my head after reading the posts.

Ourcrazymodern? 04-01-2011 10:22 PM

Chuckling's good stuff.(..)

Redlemon 04-04-2011 08:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZombieSquirrel (Post 2887472)
Shit-Damn! Fuck-a-Damn! Fuck-a-Damn-Damn!
Some Motherfucker just fucked my man!
I’ll fuck another fucker, better than the other fucker!
Shit-Damn! Fuck-a-Damn! Fuck-a-Damn-Damn!

Didn't happen. Just a rugby social song that was in my head after reading the posts.

Here's something we used to call "The Tollbooth Song":
Quote:

Gooooooooooooooooooood morning! Good morning!
How'd you like to bite my ass?
Good morning! Good morning!
How'd you like to bite my ass?
One, two! Fuck you!
Three, four! On the floor!
Six, nine! Tastes fine!
Sixteen, seventeen.... ah, go fuck yourself.


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