The "No Shit, I Just Saw..." Thread
 

This thread is dedicated to things that make you stop doing whatever you're doing and marvel over the weird and/or stupid thing that just happened right in front of you.

I'll start:

It's dark. I was walking to the chow tent. I heard a weird whirring noise behind me on the gravel. I turned around to see what it was and was almost sideswiped by some army douchette in full combat equipment (with a rifle slung) hauling ass on an electric-powered pink Razor scooter complete with red LED tail light. Let's just set aside that I'm not on some college campus and think about how some GI Joe gets away with having a pink scooter.

Military sure ain't what it used to be. Back in my day (last weekend) we used to walk.

Anybody else see something recently that struck them as way too Ren & Stimpy?

the other morning on my way to work, I had some moped rider pass me by while i'm on my Intruder 1400 and this guy had more decked out chrome on his moped than I did on my Intruder.

No shit, I just saw a rusted out, stripped down car on blocks being held together by some type of wooden bumpers sitting on the grass in front of my local polling place. People were just walking around it, young kids were playing on it...the worst part is that we were voting at the local elementary school...sure it was out by the road and well away from the school kids but still.

No shit, this morning I saw a homemade bicycle roof rack made out of lumber that extended well past the front and rear windshields and had the "bar" over the wheel, also made out of wood. It was held on by two tow-ropes and there was a plastic bag tied over the seat since it was trying to rain. Strange.

No shit. I'm REALLY constipated.


(b'dum tisch)

I thank you....

I hear you...and raise you two farts.

I saw a guy way over seven feet tall.

I've lived in Louisiana, the Capitol of No Shit. Those swampers are some creative individuals. But I think my biggest 'no shit' moment was filling up my truck at a local gas station (not in LA), when a 4 or 5 yo Asian kid steps out of a mini van at the pump next to me, whips out his pecker and takes a piss standing in the middle of the gas aisle. WTF? I seriously said to myself "No shit, did I really just see that".

My second most memorable was 4 wheeling over the Henry mountains in Southern Utah. I come around a corner and sitting in the crook of a tree on the side of the road is a Golden Lab about 8' off the ground, chewing on the leg bone of a cow, that was nearly as big as him. It was one of the most surreal things I've ever seen. The tree was growing out of the down hill side that dropped off steeply for about 300'. So the view was; Dog in tree suspended above 100 miles of desert and canyons. I was sure I'd just driven into a Dali painting.

The last time the bf and I went to the strip club (a couple of weekends ago), he handed me something that he found tucked into the side of the padded chair in between us and said, 'look, I found a cigarette holder.'

And I said, 'that's not a cigarette holder, that's a crack pipe.'

And it was.

A couple of summers ago we were vacationing in the Outer Banks. One afternoon I was filming the waves and sea birds and happened to catch a funny scene of a guy with his dog which culminated in a woman burying her dog's poop in the sand. If you are interested in seeing it PM me, and I'll send you the link.

Friggin' awesome.

A guy in a plaid, pleated skirt and gold lamé jacket riding a bicycle.

Ya, I was in Boulder; but that was weird even by Boulder standards.

Out behind a bar just this evening I'm enjoying a smoke near the dumpsters, guy walks up next to me and lights a smoke, he looks over at me and says "won't be needing this anymore" reaches into his pants pulls out a condom and slings it against a brick wall...where it stuck. He pitches his smoke and goes back inside.

I meet the most awesome people on the face of Earth most nights.

This reminds me of a guy I saw walking down the sidewalk on Highway 41 here in Naples.

He was probably in his 60s. Skinny. Long stringy gray hair and beard. He was wearing sequined hot pants (shorts) and a tank top with a small leather vest over it. On his feet were medium height platform sandals. No make-up or other pretense at appearing feminine. Just this old guy in disco clothes. And what made him even more pleasant to see was the look of pure happiness and pride on his face as he strutted down the street. Like he just knew he was the hottest thing since sliced bread. It was pretty awesome. And you almost *never* see shit like that in Naples.

Then there was this guy in downtown Asheville, NC who came zipping around the corner on a tall, tricked out bicycle dressed in a nun's habit. That was surprising.
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4122/...2da4367195.jpg
Phase II - Asheville by mixedmedia1965, on Flickr

http://www.flickr.com/photos/5218114...7624616812877/

holy shit I just saw.....

a black on black Bentley Mulsanne
a white on white blade Audi R8
and an metallica beige Mercedes Benz SLS

all on the same road in Connecticut.