Dear Journal
 

Dear Journal. You're a fucking bitch I hate you so much.

... sorry...
I didn't mean that, you know that.

It's just... I've been repressing some things.

It was my birthday on the 15th... It was shit. It's always been shit though. I've never had a good birthday. Something always goes wrong.

So I had this girlfriend for a couple of weeks. She's black :O :O :O O :O :O O:.

And on my birthday I told her that I'm married. I told her that the marriage was a joke. Being Christian, and all, it kind of pissed her off more. I knew I shouldn't have messed around with another Christian woman. Last time I got sued by Target.

She ended up leaving my friends apartment. I gave her some time to cool off until I realized that she was outside and so was my car so I went out to find her. Thankfully my car was fine but she was on the phone trying to get a ride and I couldn't have that. It took an hour to explain it all and how I wanted to be with her and I'll handle the marriage when I can afford it.

I finally got her to come back inside and she started drinking. She probably had about 6 drinks all together and then she tried to rape me and she started taking her clothes off in front of my friend and his girlfriend. Good times... gooood embarrassing times.

Anyway, we ended up not fucking because I knew that would be wrong. The best time of my life was when I lost my morals... but I also lost my friends.

That night everyone went to sleep except me... without sex.... on my birthday.

Anyway, flashback for a second. Through out this two week relationship, she always seemed kinda sketchy. Like the way she talked on the phone to people. And her dating profile still said that she was single. And we were supposed to hang out one weekend and she said she was going to go hang out with a guy friend of hers.

So, on the night of my birthday after everyone had gone to sleep I checked her phone to see what was up. She was talking to a guy earlier and was quite flirty but quieted down when she saw I was paying attention to her. I ended up finding a message telling some guy friend of hers that she wanted to kiss him.

I asked about him the next morning. "did you sleep with him? no. did you kiss him? well there was a good bye kiss". She wanted to know how I even knew who that was. I was silent. Waiting for her to fill in any gaps. She was getting pissed. I still didn't want to say anything. I didn't want to deal with it. I just woke up and I hate arguing with people.

So I drove her home and the last time I saw her, she slammed my car door and flipped me off.

I ended up sending her a message later telling her how I found out and also just letting her know how slutty she is coming across as, in much nicer words, I assure you.

So we talked for about 2 hours yesterday and that phone call ended with "never call me again <click>"

Oh Journal, why is nothing working out for me? Why does nothing ever work out for me? Maybe one day I'll be able to tell you about something good that happens to me. Truly good.

-fie

You're married and dating. She's only been with you a few weeks and is clearly dating around.

I'd say you have little room to complain honestly. Until a relationship is actually fully hashed out people are allowed to date other people (I'd say 3-4 weeks). Yeah it sucks, but the conversation of "I really want to be with you" deal has to be laid out before the "never call me again" blows up.

Relax, she was obviously psycho anyways.

Well the marriage is a sham. I only slept with her a handful of times. She never even lived with me. She never even lived in the same state as me.

I don't know that the new girl was psycho but given my history (my wife amongst others) it's likely. Fucking whores.

There's your problem right there...

Your attitude towards women sucks. You reap what you sow.

damn. you create your own drama and then pissed off that you have drama? seriously grow up a bit and be responsible for your own actions.

I was thinking it would have been much more efficient to post the following:

Dear Journal:

I make bad choices.

Sincerely,
fie

We should enable a journaling feature for this sort of thing. Maybe called it Web Journals, or "bjourns" for short.

i couldn't have said it better myself.

fie - read all these again and take some responsibility for your actions. Realize that "nothing works out" for you because you seem incredibly busy sabotaging your own happiness. But maybe you get off on that.

Good luck with it.

And in the end
The love you take
Is equal to the love you make.

"The End," Abbey Road, The Beatles

This is .. WTF?!

So you're marriage is(was) a sham. You married a girl who never lived in the same state.. she never lived with you.. and.. you don't see potential problems with that? You set yourself up. Plain and simple.

If you wanted to look elsewhere, there were easier ways to do it, like, maybe.. getting a divorce first.

I have to agree with the others, you created your own drama. Deal with it. Learn from it. Don't do something similar again.

Everyone is the psychologist.

Charlatan: if you call a woman who sells sex for money on craigslist anything other than a whore then let me know so I can correct my terminology.

---------- Post added at 01:34 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:33 AM ----------

Everyone is the psychologist, aren't they?

Charlatan: if you call a woman who sells sex for money on craigslist anything other than a whore then let me know so I can correct my terminology.

And what do you call a man who thinks he's dating when he's paying a woman on Craigslist for sex?

John.

Damn, I thought the OP was pretty funny.

what does being responsible for your own actions have to do with psychology?

Taking responsibility can easily be a topic of psychology.

It's the entire basis of psychology being a professional career, instead of solely a scientific one.

It is venting to a 'seer' about how all of one's own actions are the result of others influences unto the one, therefore, it's everyone else's problems that have caused my problems.

Not sure if this brings us back out or straight back into this twisted loop.

So if we go the psychological route, I think it's easy to see a pattern here with the latest response by fie.

Focusing on the trivial instead of the important.

I'm ignoring everything else here and saying... if you're married, you can't expect to have any say whatsoever in who she is or isn't dating. That is all.

Denial is the best route for avoiding the issue...

This is closely followed by deflecting your issues onto others.

Take a deep look at yourself and listen to what others are saying here.

that would require taking responsibility for actions, including the ones that are happening now!

Yeah, basically:

Dear Journal,

I set me up the bomb.

Fie

On behalf of TFP I'd like to apologize for completely fucking up your love life, fie. Obviously we're responsible for the fact that you married a woman you didn't like for reasons that are unfathomable to us and you remain married to her for reasons we don't know. Clearly, we're in the wrong when you can't bring yourself to cheat on your wife. If only faceless strangers on the internet weren't messing with your love life this way, you'd have achieved true happiness on your own. You'd be having mind-blowing sex constantly and would be joyfully fending off all the women throwing themselves at you because you'd found "The One".

I'm so sorry we've screwed up your life this way. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive us.

Dear women of TFP,

No offense about anything. I don't know you or your sexuality. If any of my comments bothered you then sorry.

But if it gives you any perspective, the day after she said "don't ever call me again" she posted "Angela Johnson Damn last night I fucked this fucking sexy ass guy and shit he is the best I ever hade bitches!!! Shit got my swag back on bitches!!!
Tue at 2:17pm" on her facebook, which she doesn't know that I know about.

So either she met a guy within a day and fucked him or she's had guys in queue. I'll leave it up to you.

Also, this post wasn't meant to be emo or look for sympathy or look for advice. I just thought the antics of my life might be amusing to some of you.

-fie

Dear Fie,

I AM amused.
Please continue posting your escapades.
I appreciate your line breaks and liberal use of punctuation.
If possible include charts, diagrams and images.
Thank you, in advance
-GH

This sounds like another one of those bullshit posts.

I suggest making a BLOG next time. It is a journal of sorts... might work out better.

OR

You could just NOT post things that will make you sound like an utter douche. Good luck in your life.

QFT

I like the part where he didn't redact the name. Also the part where he snooped on his 'girlfriend', who somehow neither knew he was married or that he knew how to access her facebook page.

you know i totally googled that name.

This is for the sake of giant hamburger. I think he knows where I'm coming from. Or he's egging me on so that more people will dislike me. Either way. I like to find amusement in my crap. I've told enough people about my problems that there's not anything anyone can say about it to make it better. All you can do is just sit back and laugh and eventually get over it.

So without further ado.
http://i45.tinypic.com/212wl74.jpg

Amanda is my "wife". It's really hard to get your mind around the idea that we are married but not really. It was never the intention. But I did consider her a long distance girlfriend. It was fun but after we got married she flipped it up on me.

why did you get married? Green card for $5,000???

I wish. Or for taxes. I think I would get audited if I tried to do our taxes together.

I never planned on getting married. I'm not the marrying type. So I figured that I would marry someone that I know I couldn't be attached to but I let myself go.

It all started out as a joke that I was going to play on my mom. I was (and am) at a reckless part of my life so I said to her, "Hey, let's get married anyway, it will be fun." And she, being quite the nutter, agreed.

It wasn't until after she slept with 3 other guys that I decided that I need to find a girlfriend.

I would honestly love to get a divorce but I'm incredibly poor at the moment. All I have is negative money. Everything is overdrawn.

do you treat the rest of your life like your marriage where it's a joke to try to get by instead of taking it seriously?

It's complicated.

Now. I am amused.

Please continue.

You mean Streep-Martin-Baldwin complicated?

Complicated because you made it complicated or complicated because you are born with some sort of situation or defect that complicates how you interact with real life people?

Both but the latter contributes to the former.

Have you seen the journal feature yet?

Tell me more about Rachel.

Well she was kind of the rebound and she made it clear it was just sex. So when I saw her walking in the park with her new guy it didn't bother me too much.

Fucking awesome.

Is it just me, or does this guy reek of self glorification and over exageration? All well, this thread kicks ass. And I like his chart.

Do the dumb ass mistakes ever stop, Fie? Just get a grip on what you want in life and go for it. Sounds like you need to calm the fuck down and become a man as well. So grow a set and be less stupid.

weird. seems like it did.

But the graph says she only caused him 9% pain! 9% damnit!

By the way, what does 9% pain feel like, Fie?

It's like, "well damn, I wish things could have worked out. I wish she would have liked me for more than my hot man body... I need a steady relationship"

Haha, I gotcha now.

One last question (until further notice): how much pride does your mom have in you? Percentage wise, of course.

this much

http://www.geekologie.com/2009/09/16/facebook-1.jpg

s/respect/pride

http://i47.tinypic.com/j9y2p0.jpg

:rolleyes:

^^ I love your sense of numeration.

I think Bea Toff may be the girl for you.

that's awesome. can follow directions and instructions.

this is almost HOF worthy and deserving of a nonsense placing.

I have to be honest. I don't really believe this tale, but if it were true, you're a dumbass. Plain and simple.

Grow up.

Dear Fie,

I'm laughing at you.

Sincerely,
LBC

do the colours in your charts represent anything?

are the colours in your 'hurt caused' graph representative of the colours of their stockings?

the colours in the fie pie graph are interesting.

the colourful red and what checkered piece is what fie thinks he deserves. fies mother gets the stale dull part, albeit a bigger piece.

and for the record, i cant believe these guys never wished you a happy birthday...

happy birthday dude. you deserved to at least get laid...

so from the stocking colour graph, how much respect does each of those chicks deserve.. graphically speaking of course.

Dear fie:

Please drop whatever it is you're doing now and report to the nearest emergency room. Your testicles are being repossessed by humanity before you can reproduce. One of you is two too many, and it is high time for a triumphant return to the halcion days of forced sterilzation.

Love ya much!

- The World

Male Drama Whore.


yuck!

Fie Fo Fo Fum
I don't know how to make this rhyme
So I'm just going to say 'Big Mental Kudos!'
From this day forth and returning in time
And now, I'm done.


(This tumbling journal of revelations is spectacular, and in some measure, I guess, healthy. )

Well, this did turn out to be a quite entertaining thread, I guess that counts for something.

Best thread experience since becoming a member....HOF worthy :thumbsup:

I thank you all

The colors I chose are based on what reminded me of their personalities or something about them.

Thanks for the birthday wishes.

http://i49.tinypic.com/no8oeh.gif


I'm in agreeance, I assure you. I'm the poster child of population control advocates everywhere. :thumbsup:

Surely, from a purely scientific point of view, if the late Doctor King is being presented purely as a reference point, it would have made more sense to normalise the data against a nominal scale of respect in MKL equivalents.

Also, your chart would be easier to understand if you provided some comparators. For example, assuming that you have used the proposed MLK respect scale, clearly Doctor King scores 1, by definition, so Rachel (who you have scored 9% vs Dr King's 90%) would have a score of 9/90 = 0.1 MLKs.

Assuming these minuscule levels of respect, and the need to account for the total population of human possibility, one assumes that there is room for DISRESPECT in your scale - such that Joseph Fritzel might have a respectability of -0.5 MLKs, and that Harold Shipman -1.5 MLKs.

In morality terms, I would accord you a score of -0.1 MLKs, but in humour I would score you 0.2 MLKs (positive).

I'm sorry for lack of clarity but I was trying to put it into perspective from a businessman, i.e., just to get the point across. And we know that business folk can't understand negative numbers, aside from accountants and even then.

It was more based on my own scale of respect for people, not the mass in general. I give respect sparingly and MLK was the first to come to mind at the higher end of the scale.

I will be sure to adjust my visual aids next time, as I have a better idea of my audience. :thumbsup:

Good color choice for MLK.

another way im looking at it is that unless you introduce another male into your little study, then the way i see it is that you have more respect for men than women.


im also surprised that amanda caused you sooooo much more pain than everybody else, yet her level of respect isnt much lower than any of the other girls.

is there a reason for that? please feel free to add more graphs if you feel the need.

Maybe you can get them all to jump on MLK Jr. Jr. and then market the porno movie.. WIN!

The more respect I give to someone the more chance there is for me to be hurt. The more I let myself go the more that I am in their hands.

The point was (I think) that you have 9% respect for Angela, and 8% respect for Rachel; and yet Angela gave you 98% pain, but Rachel gave you 9% pain.

Put like this, we can see that an increase of respect as little as 1/8 (12.5% relative) leads to an almost 11 fold increase in the pain you suffered - 9 rose to 98.

Either increased respect has a massive effect on decreased pain, or increased pain has little effect on decreased respect.

Based on your full data set, there is clearly a relation between R (respect) and P (pain) such that P=f(R). If you plotted R vs P, and carried out a linear regression, you should be able to establish what level of respect is needed for a woman to be incapable of hurting you.

All you have to do then is find a woman you respect sufficiently, and you will be sorted and pain free.

Love, guaranteed by science.

I love you GH.

thats exactly what i meant daniel. except in not so technical terms. i think youve spent too much time doing QA checks.

basically, that respect is inversely proportional to the level of pain recieved by that person.

in laymans terms - the less hurt you got from a woman, the higher the respect for her.

amanda caused you a great deal of pain, but her level of respect is pretty much the same as the other women. somethings not right

is there something youre not telling us?

the pussy must be good. maybe even the best.

And by pussy... he means actually getting it, right?

The amount of respect is complicated, kind of. Amanda's respect before and after the relationship is far different. The rest are about the same. There was a time when the pure amount of honesty and openness was baffling. But then it changed. At some point I became her enemy.

Marriage... it will get you every time.

The best sex was Rachel. Hippie, wiccan, theatre nerd. Good stuff. Wished we would have clicked.

in b4 plan9's blog takeover..

You know marriage gets you every time... how exactly? Because you failed at it? Because it was never done properly to begin with?? Please expand on this gem.

Marriage is far from a bed of roses (fuck you Bon Jovi!), but it's like anything else (shutup chompster), you get what you put in.

Could you please stop making references to "pussy" ... it is unnerving and breaking my psyche!

I mean I expect from gucci but not really anyone else!

Nice!

I get what I put in? I definitely didn't put in gonorrhea! Found out about that the day we got married. My soul facepalmed itself into a bloody mush that day.

To be honest, it was just an ironic mocking of marriage. The whole thing and the comment.


OMFG PLAN9 HAS BLOG??? LINK OR IT DIDN"T HAPPEN! :eek: