To Facebook, or not to Facebook

[essendoubleop]

Now that we have lived with Facebook for over five years now, it is almost expected that everyone who is computer-literate have an account. I initially had an account, back when it was limited to those who had a ".edu" account, but ending up deleting it over privacy concerns, potential job employers, etc. Being in constant contact with your entire social network never appealed to me; I would be much more TRULY happy to see an old acquaintance or friend and catch up with them in real life.

But it seems as it has become a legitimate networking tool. Those avoiding Facebook may have a disadvantage when trying to find job leads or meet new people through friends of friends or being a member of common organizations and schools.

On the other hand, there's a shallowness to it as well. Some people I know are "quantity"-friend types, and have few, if any, high-quality relationships, the latter of which I know from research is more healthy. Facebook nourishes this trait, as the amount of "social effort" is spent extending a web of acquaintances, rather than developing high-quality relationships.

Lately, some of my friends have been asking me to get back onto Facebook, but I'm not so sure. There's something to be said for the simplicity of not having a personal page that can be viewed by anyone (I know there are settings you can change. But then someone sends you a friend request, and you don't really want them to see your profile, but you also don't want to seem like a jerk saying "bug off!" It's not a huge deal, but still...)

So what do you think about Facebook? Is it a superficial gathering of tangentially-connected people more concerned with image? Or does it serve a useful purpose for bridging likeminded people and allowing a possibility for a meaningful relationship that would otherwise go unfulfilled? Is it ever too LATE to get on Facebook, or once away, stay away?

[Plan9]

Hi, I'm The Voice of Don't-Go-On-There:

Faceyspace is a time-wasting drama bomb that consists of people you didn't give a shit about in high school (or vice versa) and their ugly babies. Shallowness doesn't begin to describe it. It's all about status and vanity and all those zany antics that you share with your drinking buddies... broadcast to the whole planet. Pointless updates, mildly useful events and sometimes you can get a phone number to someone who owes you money or whatever. Employers look at it. Your family looks at it. Your current girlfriend looks at it. Your former girlfriends look at it. Weirdo stalkers look at it while listening to Q. Lazarus' Goodbye Horses. It's a freakshow of made-up faces and pretentious poses. Avoid the nightmare and stick with your email and your cellphone.

I fail to see how any employer would use it to judge you in a positive light. It's a social site, not Monster.com or USAJobs.gov.

...

If you do use it: keep your profile extremely bare bones, as private as possible, and use it as a research tool for potential dates.

...

You'd be better off at Onion.com or Literotica.com if you wanna kill precious braincells. I'm a big fan of keeping myself to myself.

[Baraka_Guru]

Plan9 takes the "traditional" look at Facebook.

More recently, it's a promotional tool.

Use it if you want to sell yourself, a business, or something.

Don't use it for personal reasons...the traditional "old school" way Plan9 describes.

[Plan9]

I'm... I'm a Facebook Fundamentalist! Oh, the horror.

...

Tell him what's he's won if he chooses the "promotional tool," Baraka.

[Baraka_Guru]

Exposure.

That's just it. You're exposing yourself.

Keep that in mind.

[KellyC]

It is what you make of it. It can be drama-free if you want it to be.


Says the Facebook addict stalker.

[Plan9]

Yeah, the second Noodle found me on Faceyspace through Martian's email contact with me... I decided it was time to erase that badboy.

[dippin]

I don't have it, and I'm not interested. I'm in touch with everyone I want to be in touch with, and I value my privacy enormously. I think it can be pretty useful in making connections, depending on your career (i.e., pretty useful for artists, self employed people, etc), but, as an academic, the last thing I want is personal information about me floating out there.

[wooÐs]

I was at a friend's not too long ago and she pulled up her Facebook. We've known each other since 8th grade. She has like, 70% of everyone we've gone to school with on there. Megan's married to some guy in his 50's with 4 kids. Farah married some black guy and they're expecting their 5th child. Joanna is a Coyote. Miss Gillis is still single. Marcus lost 180lbs after his 1st wife died of liver cancer.

When I was in high school, I couldn't wait to get away from these people and start living. Why would I want to contact them now? And before you say 'for curiosity,' I'm warning you, it will bite you in the ass. Hard.

[Vigilante]

I have no drama on my FB profile. I presume because I ignore most drama and attempts at inciting drama. I have plenty of old friends on there from HS and such. I also have my profile unsearchable and private, so I only talk to who I want to talk to.

It's great for me. I get to see how my family is doing (I'm not much of a communicator) and see what my old pals are up to.

[Glory's Sun]

No FB or MS for me thanks. /paranoid.

If you want to a tool for networking and business applications use Relationships Matter | LinkedIn

[Iliftrocks]

I play Farkle, but don't really get into the whole My Life Is Out There paradigm. Honestly, I'm sorry I got on. I've learned way too much about people I was only cursorily interested in. I know things about my family that I didn't want to know, and now I don't want anything to do with them. Thanks Facebook

[Fly]

i do Crackbook and Whorespace purely to throw my tunes out there........


and could care less about all the drama too.....just music.

[BadNick]

I detest facebook and I'm sorry I ever went there...apparently that was a long time ago and I totally forgot about it. But then it came back to me when notices of the activities of relatives and "friends" started popping into my email. Even some of my "friends" and relatives whom I otherwise like tend to rub me the wrong way with all the useless banter.

I'm thankful for this thread since it finally dawned on me that if I change my email address to something wrong or just take it out, it might stop.

[SSJTWIZTA]

never made a facebook.

myspace works good enough for me. i basically just use it as a way to tell friends when im coming to their area. it's a great way to keep in touch. occasionally i use it for music.

i've never had problems with drama using myspace, but i've seen it happen plenty.

[FuglyStick]

Facebook as some sort of legitimate networking tool for finding qualified people to fill positions? I ain't buying it, and I don't want to work for anyone who thinks it is.

[snowy]

Facebook, when it comes to business, is really just one more thing that can bite you in the ass.

My Facebook is extremely sanitized as a result, and highly restricted. I also only pay sporadic attention to it.

[Salem]

Total Crackbook addict. Tried to delete it once, broke down and renewed it after about 9 hours.

[kutulu]

I like Facebook a lot. I use it mostly to keep in touch with my extended family. All of my cousins on my Father's side of the family are on it and most of my wife's immediate family is on it. Because of Facebook, I know a lot about what is going on in their lives that I wouldn't have known otherwise.

I've also reconnected somewhat with a few people from high school but none of that goes very deep. I like to post political things and respond to political things that my fb friends post as well.

[cdwonderful]

on the evolutionary scale of social networking, facebook is a step above twitter and a step below myspace.
just dont put anything on any of them that you wouldnt want seen on a billboard in the middle of town..........

[percy]

I don't do Facebook, Twitter etc. I think the main reason is because whenever something comes along and everyone flocks to it like flies to shit, I usually run the other way. No one can ever accuse me of being a bandwagon jumper.

I can see it's purpose for promotional/business type ventures but I think alot of people just want to feel important or have an outlet to try and justify their existences by showing their friends.

No offence to those who love it but to me it is a little high schoolish.

And when my 19 and 21 year old niece and nephew think it's sad, well then it just reiterates my own feelings that much more.

[noodle]

Originally Posted by Plan9

Yeah, the second Noodle found me on Faceyspace through Martian's email contact with me... I decided it was time to erase that badboy.

Bwahahahahaha! And the first thing I did was TELL you about it and NOT friend request you, Niner!

I'm fairly selective who I choose, many TFPers are on there and some from high school, but I've culled out quite a few. Funny, I can access facebook but not my personal email at work, so it's easier sometimes. NO ONE from work and very, very few from school (four, I think) where it's easier to communicate on FB than in other ways , we've found. But it's not serious and half the time I'm cracking up laughing.
Except for a guy who was a year ahead of me in high school posting on his page that he found his two-year-old smothered in her bed during a nap... it was horrifying and heartbreaking and everything you SHOULDN'T post on facebook.

[LordEden]

Thanks to this thread I was reminded that I have a "open to the public" facebook page. I remembered I was job hunting in the Bible Belt with my religion listed as "Agnostic". Quick change to that and no one can see me!

Thanks TFP for making me just a bit more paranoid!

[Jove]

I had no reason to place my facebook or myspace on private until a series of events at work caused me to delete coworkers from my friend's list and switch it from public to private.

If you do get an account, I suggest, like several others, you put your account on private.

[Plan9]

Originally Posted by Ubiquitous Internet Parable

I had no reason to place my facebook or myspace on private until a series of events at work caused me to delete coworkers from my friend's list and switch it from public to private. If you do get an account, I suggest, like several others, you put your account on private.

...

Originally Posted by noodle

Bwahahahahaha! And the first thing I did was TELL you about it and NOT friend request you, Niner!

You're never gonna get me, you're never gonna get me...

[BogeyDope]

The only reason I have facebook is to keep in touch with my closest friends, who are all deployed, or with my friends overseas. That being said, that's the only reason I use email as well, aside from professional uses here and there.

Other than that, I'm with Plan9. Well put.

[MSD]

I guess "I like it because it's fun" isn't a good enough reason? I'll slowly back out of the thread and do something else now. Normally, I'd say you all sound like my mom, but she's in PR and has been asking me to help her set up an account to promote the museum.

[PonyPotato]

I love facebook.

There are privacy features you can use if you want. You can monitor your own content and/or delete comments on your page if they are inappropriate. It's not that hard.

[Plan9]

Originally Posted by MSD

I guess "I like it because it's fun" isn't a good enough reason? I'll slowly back out of the thread and do something else now. Normally, I'd say you all sound like my mom, but she's in PR and has been asking me to help her set up an account to promote the museum.

That's right. Go back to playing Farmville, ya Faceyspace Fanboy.

[cdwonderful]

dare you to come on there 9, I will pillow fight you into submission!!!

(I am now a pillow Grandmaster, and yes, my mother is proud....)

[spindles]

Originally Posted by Plan9

playing Farmville

This is one thing on facebook I don't get - playing games! As if the internet isn't full of better games to play.

I have an account, but will *never* play farmville, though a few of my contacts seem to use it to fill a good portion of most days.

[Galileo]

Hello,

I'm an extremely unpopular guy in the real world. I don't know if it's my breath, run-of-the-mill body odor, or if it's just that I have a lousy personality. Perhaps it's a little bit of all of those things. But anyway, I'm stuck being who I am... well, kind of. Since I figure at least some folks I know will check out my Facebook page, I've manufactured a whole community of fake "friends" to make myself appear more sociable. Most of these "friends" have full profiles , including photos. I've really gone the gamut on the types of "friends" too. I've got old guys, fat women, ugly dudes, and of course a good number of macho, suave-looking guys as "friends". But not surprising, most of my "friends" are attractive women, attractive women who seem to find me intriguing, and who regularly write on my Facebook "wall".

Since I have so many alleged friends on my Facebook page, especially friends who are pretty women, it's probably not surprising that many real-life people request to be my Facebook friend. Of course I grant them their request. How else can they see what these lovely women are writing on my Facebook "wall". Yeah, Facebook sure is great.

[Plan9]

Originally Posted by Galileo

Hello, I'm an extremely unpopular guy in the real world. I don't know if it's my breath, run-of-the-mill body odor, or if it's just that I have a lousy personality. Perhaps it's a little bit of all of those things. But anyway, I'm stuck being who I am... well, kind of.

You're Holden Caufield?

[kutulu]

It's ironic. A bunch of anonymous people on a message board being self-righteous about a site that is similar to a message board but doesn't give anonymity.

[Plan9]

How is that ironic, Chief? That's the whole point, isn't it?

Anonymity is a beautiful thing. World is a different place without a face.

...

John Smith vs. TFPGuy69.

John Smith can talk about his kids and job.

TFPGuy69 can talk about freaky buttseckz.

John Smith knows (or could know) everybody on FB.

TFPGuy69 probably doesn't know anybody on TFP.

...

I wouldn't be here if it wasn't anonymous.

There are consequences to this kind of therapy IRL.

[wooÐs]

Originally Posted by kutulu

It's ironic. A bunch of anonymous people on a message board being self-righteous about a site that is similar to a message board but doesn't give anonymity.

The forum's anonymous right up until you have access to the member photos / Exhibition. Then it's open game.

[Meditrina]

Facebook has helped me keep in touch with family members across the country, who I am very close with but they moved away. It enables me to keep them informed when my mother in law is in the hospital. It is a free way to communicate to the entire family at once. Especially helpful when the damn land line does not work and I live in a cell phone dead zone. I have the security set so no random person can find me by name or email, only those I accept as friends can see my profile. Not even friends of friends.

So while many of you dislike Facebook, I am glad it's there. Everyone has a right to their own opinion.

[wooÐs]

I have no family.
We don't speak .
...other than my parents.

[noodle]

Originally Posted by Plan9

You're never gonna get me, you're never gonna get me...

Do not want.

[filtherton]

Originally Posted by kutulu

It's ironic. A bunch of anonymous people on a message board being self-righteous about a site that is similar to a message board but doesn't give anonymity.

Yep. Apparently online social networks don't have value if you can't talk about your buttsecks desires anonymously.