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Old 11-08-2009, 11:24 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Transgender Children?

I cam across an article about this and hadn't really heard of it in relation to very young children before I read it. What startled me about it was that it said that the child's parents, who was 8, were going ahead with medication that would eventually lead to a sex change for the child in its teens.

It seemed to me that to make such a decision with an 8 year old child is difficult at best and if I were a parent I'd find this hard to do. They have a fully working, in all senses normal body and to consider going through considerable pain and heartache to change it while still so young seems radical. It appears that children as young as 2 years of age can manifest quite determinedly their conviction that they are in fact in the wrong body (i.e. a little boy who totally believes they are a girl) and want to live as the opposite sex.

Though I can understand this desire in a person who has been through puberty and is, in a sense, sexually aware, I find it hard to accept at face value at such a young age. It cannot be denied though that this does occur with some frequency and that parents must have a terribly hard time deciding what is the best course to take for the well-being of their child.

I found another article after that one that gives two different approaches to dealing with transgender children. In one case, the children are referred to as having Gender Identity Disorder. The course of action taken here is that in children under the age of 10, a form of 'therapy' that attempts to make the child become comfortable with their physical sex is applied. In another, the child's preference is verified, accepted and embraced and the child is encouraged to become who they believe they are, even from as young as 6.

Quote:
Originally Posted by National Public Radio
Two Families Grapple with Sons' Gender Preferences   click to show 

Two Families Grapple with Sons' Gender Preferences : NPR
My question is this - though the first form of dealing with this to me seems like a form of coercion, I cannot help but think that no child under 10 really knows themselves in depth sexually. So to allow the child to indulge in this conviction that they should in fact have a body of the opposite sex may be a much harder path to take than to first try and make sure they really understand the implications (psychological, physical, social) of a sex change - which I imagine they won't at the age of 6! At the same time I'd like to know of examples of either form of dealing with it that did or did not result well.

I imagine you may be thinking that my doubt implies that I think transgender people aren't actually afflicted with something they cannot change, as in, it's not genetic. I just want to say that I don't think that. I don't presume to know what it is attributable to, but I tend to think that it is genetic more than it is a choice or an ailment. But at the same time I wonder if a child that young can really know? Is being transgender manifested from birth, does it only gradually manifest, or is it triggered by something? I wonder what I would do if it were my child. I guess I'd like to think I'd trust them and let them choose, but is it too young to choose?
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Old 11-09-2009, 11:23 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I have a trans friend, and she has told me she always knew. That she never felt like a boy, never wanted to be a boy, ect. She's on the drugs, has changed her name, shes in the process. If I had a 4 year old son come to me and tell me he was a girl... Well I'm not sure what I'd do. I think i'd start letting him make some decisions. Take him to stores, tell him to pick out the things he wants, let him have them, see how he reacts to life. Let him grow up with choices. By around age 10 if he was determined he was a girl, i'd definitly get counseling, but not the run of the mill counseling but someone who knew what they were doing.

Then I think I'd get a doctors advice on whether it was best to wait until after puberty to start treatments or start right away. A person is who they are, and everyday I feel lucky that I was born in the right body, and I can't imagine limiting someone else from getting the body they identify with.

All in all, it depends on the kid, the facts, the sincerity.
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Old 11-10-2009, 03:22 PM   #3 (permalink)
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If I had a kid tell me he/she was a he/she/gay/jewish/straight I'd kick him/her in the mouth and ask why they aren't concentrating on their studies.

------------

Then I'd tell them to not make any changes until they have spen a long time thinking about it ... THEN pay for therapy and have the professional advise me on what course of action to take.

On the other hand, if they're 18 I'd simply support their choices. But not finance.
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Old 11-18-2009, 05:02 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I'd divide by range.
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Old 11-18-2009, 05:21 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Salem View Post
I have a trans friend, and she has told me she always knew.
This is my best understanding of the situation as well, though I don't personally know any transgendered individuals. There are some realities of being which transcend emotional development and experience. No matter what happens to you, no matter what pressures society places, there are some traits that will shine through regardless. While I would imagine the realization of being transgendered at such a young age is rare, and takes an incredible strength of character and maturity, it absolutely cannot be discounted.

In my life I've known homosexual men and a woman, I've known bisexual people, polyamorous people—several very cool folks right here on TFP, in fact—, and even a zoophile (non-practicing). These are all considered non-traditional to even the most progressive folks, but each of them, save for the zoophile, found the way to live honestly, as who they are, and are happier because of it. I've asked homosexual folks before and they also give me the, "I was born this way". That testimony cannot be ignored.
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Old 11-18-2009, 05:26 PM   #6 (permalink)
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There's a growing body of evidence suggesting that transgenderism is caused by differences in brain structure -- in other words, a transgender individual is literally a woman's brain in a man's body (or vice versa).

Hormone therapy is most effective when begun at or shortly after the onset of puberty.

As for how I'd handle the situation, I don't know. I'd hope that I'd have the strength of character to be able to recognize and support my child's wishes.

This is one of those things I honestly hope I never have to face.
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Old 11-18-2009, 05:31 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Walt View Post
I'd divide by range.
What do you mean by 'range', how serious they were, how they felt? Their age?

---------- Post added at 05:31 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:27 PM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by Willravel View Post
I've asked homosexual folks before and they also give me the, "I was born this way". That testimony cannot be ignored.

As a lesbian, I agree. I didn't always know, but once I figured it out it was like, head slamed against the wall obvious. Literal lightbulb goes off. When I told my sister she said she'd always known. So did a few others I told. And looking back it makes more sense. I never fantasized about male celebrities, i had pictures of Bette Middler, Jennifer Aniston, Holly Marie Combs and Alyssa Milano on my bedroom walls.

Didn't make the choice, just born queer.
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