LA Lifeguards: Vending Machines Kill, Sharks Don't
 

Fri July 4, 2003 07:31 AM ET

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Great White sharks may have been sighted off a popular Los Angeles beach in the last few days, to the delight of breathless TV newscasters looking for news on slow summer days.
But officials are reassuring residents that there's nothing to worry about: the sharks aren't that big, they are always off the coast and they only eat fish -- not people. And besides, even vending machines are more dangerous.

"There are sharks in the ocean off our coast," Capt. Garth Manning of the Los Angeles County Fire Department's Lifeguard Division said. "There have always been sharks off our coast. And we have never had a shark attack in Los Angeles County."

Manning was responding to reports on local television that Great Whites had been spotted by swimmers about 150 yards off popular Will Rogers State Beach.

He said that experts had been unable to confirm the sighting, but that it was not surprising.

"If they are Great White sharks they are only about 5 feet in length and they feed on small fish, they do not feed on people," Canning said. "But it's difficult to tell if they are because it's difficult to tell a juvenile Great White from a juvenile Mako."

Canning said that despite common fears over shark attacks, more people are killed in the United States each year by vending machines. He said that last year dogs killed more people than Great White sharks had killed in the last 100 years.

http://www.reuters.com/newsArticle.j...log/GetContent
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Guess *Jaws* is still feeding people's fears. My vote goes to Spielberg as one of the most influential people of the last 50 years.

When I read the headline to this article, I thought that it would be another story bashing vending machine junk food. I guess it's vending machine rage - when you put your money in and nothing comes out (so you bang on/tilt the machine) that's getting people.

Thats so true. Its like people who are afraid to fly.

i"ll keep cap'n Manning's name in my brain just in case I'm mistaken for a small fish while wading off the coast!

and how does vending machines actually kill? electric shock?

When a snack gets stuck in the machine, people tend to shake the machine, and it ends up falling on them.

tilt...squish.

I wonder just how many people are killed every year by vending machines..

Yes, I wonder if Captain Manning can back up his claims about vending machine deaths with some cold hard, statistics?:rolleyes:


* tilt, squish* hee-hee

http://www.urbanlegends.com/death/ve...ne_deaths.html

Here's the reference you wanted:

JAMA (Journal of the American Medical Association), Nov. 11, 1988, p. 2697, "Soda Pop Vending Machine Injuries".
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3-NEVER, EVER, TRY TO GET A FREE DRINK BY ROCKING THE MACHINE. Do not ignore this piece of advice! Attempting to obtain a free drink by rocking the machine back and forth can result in serious personal injury or death! An article in the Journal of the American Medical Association (Nov. 11, 1988, p. 2697) documents 15 cases in which men trying to get a can out of the machine were crushed. 3 died, the other 12 required hospitalization for injuries such as fractures of the skull, toe, ankle, tibia, femur, and pelvis; intercerebral bleeding; knee contusion; and one punctured bladder. The article states that because the sodas are located in the upper half of the machine (so that they can fall into the dispensing slot), the center of gravity of the machine is abnormally high and the machine will fall after it has been tipped only 20 degrees, a deceptively small angle. A large, fully loaded machine can weigh in excess of 1000 pounds. I strongly advocate the policy whereby all Juice Machines must display the label "WARNING: Tipping this machine or any other unstable object weighing in excess of 1000 pounds onto yourself can result in serious bladder injury or death."

Cyn, I was being facetious - but thanks for looking this up - these injuries are gruesome!

lord knows i've pressed my luck with those cursed machines. almost took a baseball bat to one as a child :o

I like unplugging them. Did that at my last job and usually got free stuff. Never had to worry about tilting them... what would the call-center had done without me? Probably just hired another in my place ;)

I figure, but ironically....I'm truly wondering just how that statistic has changed since this is from 1988.

shit...
I didn't realize that it weighed that much..

those are fun to tip over for fun, like from the side with a bunch of people. Its good

Why can't they get goddam vending machines to work properly? It's like it's some conspiracy to thin the herd a bit.

it's called weeding out the stupid :)

as for vending machines killing more people than sharks: well DUH.
Just about everyone in their right mind will leave the water as soon as a shark is spotted, just because of things like Spielberg's movies. Give the critters a chance people! It's hard being outdone by vending machines for cryin' out loud :p

dying because you got stuck under a vending machine,
now THAT is bad karma.