Am I Slowly Going Crazy?
 

Alright, so this isn't anything too big, just a couple of occurances that have gotten me to thinking. But, a little while back, I woke up after a good nights sleep and felt depressed. I had no reason to be, and otherwise felt fine. It lasted half of the day, and then went away slowly. I thought nothing of it. Then about a week ago, I was taking a shower, and when I got out to dry off, I was instantly pissed off. Again, I had no reason to be, I was having a good day. I wracked my brain, confuzed as to why I was so pissed off, but I came up with nothing. It eventually went away after awhile (I grabbed my b/f and kissed him to feel better; he always makes me feel better, so I knew it would work).

I am just confuzed as to why both times happened. I honestly have no clue why I felt that way either time. I am a happy person all the time, and I have a great boyfriend, and good freinds, and a loving mother. I just don't get it. And then I got to thinking about my grandmother and aunt...

To give you insight, my family has a large history of mental illnesses. My grandmother is the worst, my aunt is now getting bad, and my mother has some issues as well. The thing is, they weren't always like that. They just slowly started getting issues until it got bad. My mother said that my grandmother just snapped one day. I mean there were things that led up to it, but then one day she got 80% worse than normal, and staid like that. Same way with my aunt. She is almost headed towards snapping. Luckily, my mother hasn't snapped, but I am still worried that what if my issues are stemming from my inevitable path to becoming insane?

I just want opinions of if people have ever had experiences like I did with feeling angry or depressed for no reason. Or if I should worry. Thanks a bunch! :paranoid:

In light of your relatives plight, ask them if they had doctors and if the professionals had any advice on possibly slowing or even curing this bipolar-like behavior if caught early. Or perhaps they have a means that can control it without energy sucking anti-depressants. Hope I helped.

I can certainly see where this would bother you, I know it would bother me, what with thinking I am headed down the same path as older relatives you are observing slowly going off the deep end. But, I honestly think, just the fact of you being aware of it, and not wanting to take on those traits, makes you a perfect candidate for avoiding it.
You didn't really say if the conditions you said your aunt and grandmother and also your mother had were medically diagnosed, or if it is just the way they seem to act when they get older. To me, when someone "snaps" , there is usually a reason that they snapped, yet you say they start slowly acting this way? Did you ask your mother , since she seems to be the one who is acting the least odd, if she has had fits of depression or getting angry for no apparent reason? And ask her if it was something new, that just seemed to start when she was aging?
Mental illness, to me, (and I know I probably do not know what I am talking about, but have a right to my opinion) is all a state of mind , and it is misdiagnosed so many times as to the cause of it. no one can get inside your mind and truly know what you are feeling or why you are behaving a certain way. Oh they can go by statistics and label you this or that, because you are acting a certain way, and that seems to be what they think you have, but every one is different.
I'm getting up there in years, and I have often had a fear of losing some of my mental faculties, I think we all do. and I have experienced what you have said you did. Because basically I am a very easy going happy person all of the time, so when , like you said, get out of the shower, and for no apparent reason, all of a sudden, I am angry, or depressed, it is a scary situation. But, I have always prided myself on being so mentally stable. And the reasons I give for being that way, are, I use logic and reason, to solve almost any problem I encounter.
So, if I do get depressed or angry for absolutely no apparent reason, I zone in on it and talk to myself, asking what is the reason I am depressed and or angry, and if i can logically not come up with a reason, I just let it take it's course, and do something that makes me feel good, much the same way you said you grabbed your boyfriend and kissed him. Hell chalk it up to something you ate, or a temporary hormonal change in your body, and then, just let it go.
If you delve into it with a vengence, because of your grandmother and aunt ,and start going to doctors because of it, believe me, they WILL find something wrong with you and have you taking one synthetic drug after another and it will become such a vicious cycle, that you would love to go back to the days when you occasionally got depressed or angry for no reason, because they have got you acting a lot stranger than that.
All of this is only my opinion of course.

I would blame hormones.
But considering your concerns, I would speak to a physician about it.

I would also say hormones.

Depression is not one day of the blues. It is ongoing, and it doesn't just go away.

Similarly, it would help if you knew what kind of mental illness your family has suffered from. Some are more heritable than others. And mental illness does not automatically equal insanity or craziness. Depression, for instance, does not typically lead to insanity, and is in fact pretty easily managed with medication.

Xerxys, I don't know where you get the idea that antidepressants are energy-sucking. They're quite the opposite, actually, at least in my case. When I am on antidepressants, I have loads more energy than I do with the depression, more purpose, and I get more done.

And this sort of behavior doesn't fit with bipolar disorder--an episode of mania isn't one of anger, but one of invincibility, and the feeling that one can do anything. The flipside of that--the depressive episode--is the lowest low ever experienced. I had to watch someone I love struggle mightily with this disorder. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Let's not throw the term around lightly--it's a very serious thing.

Snowy's got it. But as one of the resident psychopaths, I can lend a hand.

First of all, like snowy said, the term mental illness covers a lot of ground. So to worry about going insane is probably fruitless (unless you are obsessively worried haha).

I'd go see a doctor, simply because a) you're concerned and what would it hurt, and b) you have a family history.

---------- Post added at 11:55 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:54 AM ----------

I'm bi-polar. What she described isn't manic depression.

Just to chime in on going to see a doctor. Probably a family physician at first, have various hormone levels checked. An endocrinologist will probably be a good idea too. Could be anything from estrogen or testosterone fluctuations to insulin issues. The fact that it seems to run in the family would indicate an organic origin. The fact that it seems to progress as they age, would suggest to me hormonal problems, but I'm not a doctor, I just watch House ;-)

The worst thing you can do right now is worry yourself to death that you are going nuts. It can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

It could be your brain chemistry too. Dopamine levels, how well your neurons are working, and all that. I would ask a doctor to see if they can determine the real reason.

I'm not sure going to a medical doctor is the best solution. Most doctors have a 15 minute window to spend with patients, and a patient is lucky if a doctor spends 5 minutes with them, especially when it comes to issues that may or may not be related to mental health. A lot of doctors aren't comfortable with really talking with patients about these sorts of things, and would rather write you a script to get you out of their hair, without investigating or testing for the real problem.

To the OP: If you have a copacetic GP, by all means, go have a conversation. But I'm not so sure it's going to be fruitful unless you're willing to really pursue the conversation, and come prepared. Regardless, that is the place to start, as most insurance won't pay for specialists unless you are referred, and most specialists won't take you unless you are referred. An endocrinologist is probably the worst place to start. Many of them are about tests and numbers, not people.

But I'm not so sure one moment of unexplained sadness and another moment of unexplained anger really justifies going to the doctor, much less seeing a specialist. If you really were having massive hormonal problems, there would be other symptoms.

I really wouldn't worry about it so much. If it does happen again, note where it is in your cycle, though. I wouldn't be surprised if it's linked to natural hormonal changes that occur during the female cycle. I often have weird hormonal shifts for unexplained reasons in the two days before my period starts--I will just feel upset and sad for no justifiable reason at all. And it's a very different feeling from actual depression. With depression, my mind is very good at figuring out why I'm sad and reminding me of it over and over and over again.

Oh, and are you on hormonal birth control? That can also play a part.

I think the fact that mental illness is common in her family that it would be worth a visit in the first place; symptoms or not.

Possibly, but I'm still not sure a general practitioner is going to spend the time necessary to discuss everything she will probably want to discuss. Seeing a psychiatrist or someone else with more experience in the mental health field might be more productive.

Agreed. Unless it's a family doctor (which I realize isn't likely now that I'm saying it out loud) who knows said history. Yes, a therapist or psychiatrist might be more effective.

I also forgot that you guys don't have universal health care and are probably less likely to run to the doctor on a whim.

Agreed. These kind of fits sound like they could be caused by hormones, because they seem so unrelated to reality and the other things in your life..just random occurrences.
I'm in a stage in my life where I feel many emotions, including nostalgia, depression, sadness, doubt, creep in at random times.
Sometimes I brush them off, other times, I make sure its' normal by talking to friends about it.
There's always gonna be a few minutes in your day where you might recap and feel like shit. IMO, the best way out of it is either talking about it, or trying to set your mind to a different tone. Go out, experience some new things, and get the the "stalling/depression/stuck" feeling out of your life already. it's your time. Enjoy it.

Going to a MD or psychologist might not always be the best solution for this kind of thing, but if you have a natural chemical imbalance, it's not your fault, you can't necessarily do anything about it on your own, and they are in the best position to help you with it.

This is how my depression and bipolar is. There can be a trigger but there usually isn't. I just feel certain moods out of nowhere and sometimes it can get so intense that I can blackout and I'd still be conscious but I won't remember a thing after the episode ends. Last week was pretty intense and I ended up trying to commit suicide. I don't remember why or how.. I don't remember anything. I just blacked out and seemed to run on cruise control for crazy.

So, by all means, you should go to a psychiatrist and ask for some meds or therapy because mood disorders are dangerous!!! And not fun!