Good riddance, T Shirt Hell. (not really)

[MSD]

I'm done. I'm finished. I can't take the stupidity anymore, so I'm leaving and I'm taking my website with me. As of Tuesday, Feb 10, 2009, T-Shirt Hell will be no more.
No, I'm not selling out to some douchebag corporate entity. No, we're not being sued by any of the over 40 companies that have sent us cease and desists over the years. No, I'm not going to jail (yet) and no, it's not because of the economy. Although, the recent dip in sales certainly does make the idea easier to accept, even though we still sell over 3000 shirts a week.

I started this company in June of 2001, nearly 8 years ago, with the intention of producing the best satirical, the most controversial, the funniest t-shirts on the internet. Generally speaking, I feel I've accomplished that and am satisfied with what we've put out. I made a shitload of dough along the way. I've done cocaine off the better body parts of supermodels. I've even raped and killed a mountain panda in the hills of Shaanxi. But these perks are besides the point.

I just don't feel like dealing with idiots anymore. I'll give you an example of the kind of misguided morons we deal with on a regular basis at T-Shirt Hell. We released a new shirt a couple weeks ago that says "It's not gay if you beat them up afterwards". I will not explain the irony or the social commentary of the slogan because anyone with half a brain should be able to handle that on their own. Problem is, we've been besieged with emails from angry people complaining about the "fact" that the shirt is hate speech or that we're promoting gay bashing and should take it down immediately.

Comments like:

"I can't even believe people buy this shit. Do you realize your supporting a hate crime? That makes you feel better about yourself? Wow you need a life. We're all human beings and you can't except it."

and

"It's Not Gay:If You Beat Them Up After"?? That is highly inappropriate and very very morally wrong. I will be advising everyone I know to avoid buying anything from your site until shirts like this are removed. In this world people are fighting for equality and a chance to be themselves without fear of being beat up because of who they are, yet here is an established website promoting hate and violence. You all should be ashamed of yourselves."
Now, I can't say I'm surprised we're getting hate mail from people who have nothing better to do than to start half-assed campaigns because of their lazy, just enough passion for an email, ideals towards a misguided cause. It happened when we did our first really controversial shirt, "The School Shootings Tour", it happened when we did our "What About All The Good Things Hitler Did" shirt, it happened when we did our "Arrest Black Babies Before They Become Criminals" shirt (boy did it happen then). It used to happen all the time when we did more social commentary and didn't give a fuck about what anyone thought and did shirts that did not leave anyone out. Unfortunately, as a concern for the safety of my employees, we don't push the envelope as much anymore...and I can't say I feel good about having caved in.

Anyway, rather than cater to the masses, I'm just going to stop making shirts. It's not enjoyable anymore and I have enough money to move on to something more rewarding. Maybe I'll start my own hooker farm or maybe I'll practice sleeping. Whatever I decide to do, it will be better than this.

Attention any venture capitalists or independent investors/business assholes who are about to inquire about purchasing T-Shirt Hell. Don't. You won't do the company justice and I won't take that chance. I'm putting it to sleep. It's over.

That's right, I'm crazy. I'm pulling the plug on a company I could have sold for millions. Why in the fucking world would I do something so stupid? Because I can. I don't care about money. This is the way I've always done things...my way.

So, to all the kickass motherfuckers who supported us and REALLY got what we were trying to do, thank you (no, not you, you racist idiots who thought we actually had racist intentions and no, not you, you dumb as a stump fucks who just think any shirt with the word "fuck" on it is as right as rain). Thanks to all the people who contributed to my vice fund and at the same time helped make a funny statement about the world today.

As a final farewell, I'm going to bring back some of the top selling Worse Than Hell shirts as a fuck you to those who forced me to remove them. To those who are offended by them and to those who think I'm racist, promoting rape, a nazi, homophobic or just the world's biggest asshole...well, at least you think I'm something, which means I've achieved what I wanted.

Thanks to Gary, Mika, Jacob, Greg, Bob, the black lady who writes our newsletter, and to everyone else who was part of T-Shirt Hell. Time to move on to even greater things. I'll miss you (by miss, I mean, it's going to suck not being able to give you my excellent reach arounds when you least expect them).

Fuck you,

-Sunshine Megatron

Looks like the big tough guy can't take the hate mail. More likely, he's trying to be Mr. Internet Tough Guy about the slumping economy taking his site done with it. I'm not going to be missing a site whose owner (who, by the way, legally changed his name to Sunshine Megatron, it's not just an alias,) justifies intellectual property theft by calling it free speech.

If you weren't around for it, one of our member posted a pic of herself wearing one of their shirts in a private section of the board, someone sent it to T-Shirt hell, and when the member and Halx both asked politely asked that it be remove, Mr. Megatron went off on a tirade about free expression and said he was sending the entire series of letters to his mailing list so they could laugh at us.

[Glory's Sun]

so wait..

he wants to create controversy, but when the controversy begins he quits..

I think he must have done the cocaine off the wrong body parts..

[Tully Mars]

Sounds like a douche bag.

[braisler]

I don't know for sure, but this bit of his tirade was what caught my attention, "As a final farewell, I'm going to bring back some of the top selling Worse Than Hell shirts as a fuck you to those who forced me to remove them."

To me, that sounds exactly like a "Going Out of Business FOREVER" kind of scam you see at Bob's Discount Electronics. Not to say that he won't be actually closing the site, but this whole tirade could be one last gasp attempt at trying to sell off a bunch of overstocked t-shirts.

[Plan9]

I like the panda part, myself.

[SSJTWIZTA]

Arrest black babies before they become criminals!?!

oh, i think i've pissed my pants.

[SabrinaFair]

One would think someone who prints t-shirts designed to be controversial and edgy would have a thicker skin when it comes to criticism. In his own words, he made a "shit ton of dough", and obviously doesn't find what he does to be offensive or wrong. I agree with braisler, methinks he doth protest too much....

[MacGuyver]

I suppose that the down fall of the crap that was 't-shirt hell' opens a better window for me to sell absolute junk on the internet and get rich. Somebody's gotta do it.

[World's King]

I've always wanted to order a shirt from T-Shirt Hell.



But then I get to the site, browse around, find something I like, and then can't justify buying a shirt I would never wear. Now, this is funny because I have a shirt that says in very plain lettering on the front, "Drink Fuck Fight." And I've never had a problem with that. T-Shirt Hell is dumb humor for the sake of being dumb. It's the T-shirt equivalent of all those spoof movies... Funny in the previews but I could never bring myself to spend the money.

[LordEden]

Originally Posted by braisler

To me, that sounds exactly like a "Going Out of Business FOREVER" kind of scam you see at Bob's Discount Electronics. Not to say that he won't be actually closing the site, but this whole tirade could be one last gasp attempt at trying to sell off a bunch of overstocked t-shirts.

You think he would lower the prices more than 15%

[telekinetic]

Originally Posted by World's King

I've always wanted to order a shirt from T-Shirt Hell.



But then I get to the site, browse around, find something I like, and then can't justify buying a shirt I would never wear. Now, this is funny because I have a shirt that says in very plain lettering on the front, "Drink Fuck Fight." And I've never had a problem with that. T-Shirt Hell is dumb humor for the sake of being dumb. It's the T-shirt equivalent of all those spoof movies... Funny in the previews but I could never bring myself to spend the money.

I have a friend who exclusively wears T-Shirt Hell shirts unironically. He favors the "support single moms" and "May the horse be with you" but also rocks the "i'm the one you have to blow to get a drink around here" and "as long as your this close already why don't you just suck my dick"

[Cynosure]

Originally Posted by SabrinaFair

One would think someone who prints t-shirts designed to be controversial and edgy would have a thicker skin when it comes to criticism. In his own words, he made a "shit ton of dough", and obviously doesn't find what he does to be offensive or wrong. I agree with braisler, methinks he doth protest too much....

+1 (whatever the fuck that means)

[ASU2003]

I've always checked out their shirts and had a good laugh. But like World's King, I could never justify paying for it. When would I wear one of them. Should I have worn "The black man is keeping me down" to Obama's inauguration? The "If I can build a computer, I can make you cum" shirt is pretty funny, but I'm not sure where I would ever wear it.

The "Slavery gets shit done" , "I 'plane' NY", And the "I fucking hate..." shirts would probably get you beat up. Nothing offends me, but other people are easily offended in real life.

[Halx]

Sounds selfish, if that is the real reason he's doing it. Thin skin or not, he has employees.

[Willravel]

Unfortunately, as a concern for the safety of my employees, we don't push the envelope as much anymore...and I can't say I feel good about having caved in.

This seemed central to me. He wanted to make funny, ironic, and offensive shirts, and then people started sending legitimate threats. He was faced with a choice, and he chose to mellow out instead of either shutting down or facing the nut bags. And he got pissed having to mellow the messages.

He may have been a dick to Halx and the member, but the reason for shutting down seems reasonable and shutting down instead of selling is actually commendable.

And most of their employees are likely in a third world country.

[Toaster126]

I think this might have been too deep for some of you.

It sounds like I would prolly put Sunshine (lol) in the "cockbag" category, but I respect the shit out of the ability to make money off lines on cheap t-shirts.

But there is the other level we all should respect more, especially on a site like ours where we pride ourselves on the sharing of different opinions. It's the subtle (and not subtle) fuck you to the people who want to stop different ideas and ways of looking at things. These people literally got death threats for putting stuff on t-shirts.

I find that hilarious.

[telekinetic]

T-Shirt Hell : Newsletter: February 16th 2009

This just in: JK, LOL

[genuinegirly]

T-Shirt Hell is not going out of business. In fact, we wouldn't leave even if we had to resort to selling dead babies for food when this economy truly hits the fan.

Don't see why they would stop business. Odd to threaten leaving and then retract, saying it was a joke. I guess they just wanted to boost sales by making people think they won't be around anymore.

I know it's a joke, but I hope they don't sell dead babies for food. eek. What a horrible thought.

[telekinetic]

Originally Posted by genuinegirly

Don't see why they would stop business. Odd to threaten leaving and then retract, saying it was a joke. I guess they just wanted to boost sales by making people think they won't be around anymore.

I know it's a joke, but I hope they don't sell dead babies for food. eek. What a horrible thought.

Why? They're already dead. They didn't say they would kill them.

[RogueGypsy]

That's one of my favorite T-shirt suppliers. I wear my " Your father should have pulled out early" shirt with pride. Hell, that shirt got me out of ticket one time, the cop was laughing so hard he just let me go.

I don't care if the guy is an asshole or not. Fuck I bought windows and I've never met Gates. Maybe he's a total douche, in fact, if what I've read is true, he's a lying, thieving, monopolizing douche. But that doesn't stop anyone from using his OS, but I guess it did spawn a generation of hackers. I'm sure all the detractors do in-depth research on a company's owner before buying products, that must be why everything is Made in China, we're all assholes, and they must be the greatest people on Earth.

I get being pissed at someone who used a friend or was an asshole to you personally. But the rest of the jump-on-the-bandwagon hate mongers and the idiots that take any T-Shirt seriously are just ass-monkeys and hypocrites. Fuck, you're probably the same disillusioned asshats that voted for O'blahblah and his socialist brigade. Really, does anyone take a T-shirt seriously??? It's a T-shirt!

I say GO SUNSHINE! Offend and horrify the disillusioned and insecure, maybe they'll move to China were everyone is nice.


..

[inBOIL]

Originally Posted by twistedmosaic

Why? They're already dead. They didn't say they would kill them.

I can't believe you. Dead babies are not for food. They're for self-gratification.

[Daniel_]

Originally Posted by inBOIL

I can't believe you. Dead babies are not for food. They're for self-gratification.

And they make excellent novelty hats.

[telekinetic]

Originally Posted by inBOIL

I can't believe you. Dead babies are not for food. They're for self-gratification.

If dead baby ceviche is wrong, I don't want to be right.

[Glory's Sun]

ok..enough dead baby jokes.. back to the topic.

[telekinetic]

Who's joking?









And anyways, are dead baby jokes really that off topic in a t-shirt Hell thread?

</threadjack>

[Glory's Sun]

I get where you're going, but jokes belong in nonsense.. this is GD.

so based only on that.. we need to get back to the topic at hand ..

[gardens]

Am I just too jaded or ignorant? I visited the site read the shirts and have to admit that I'm not impressed, they don't seem to be particularly edgy or controversial just a bunch of (whiny) please please have sex with me

I suppose the thing that really pushed me in the he's a $$ pansy was the good things hitler did shirt, besides being an irredeemable monster and egomaniac he did see to it that little old ladies got coal, if your going to be controversial why not put something on the back of the shirt or do you really expect all the pasty neonazis who would have been killed by hitlers regime if they'd been there to actually know anything about German history

oh well I guess I can live with my hopes that there's still some trace of sincere mindless rebellion out there (that can make money) die

[biznatch]

I think if you say you're gonna close just to boost sales, you're a dick. Especially if you put out some whiny, little bitch story about why you're allegedly gonna close. I used to receive his newsletter (I ordered a shirt for my wife there), and all of them are not funny, or edgy, or original. They just try too hard. It's always something about race, dead babies, raping children, or w/e the hell he thinks is "edgy"
I don't like this guy, as you can tell.

[Baraka_Guru]

He's a brilliant marketer. This thread has just gotten to post #29 when it would otherwise have not been created in the first place.

I doubt this is the only forum that has this topic.

[filtherton]

It isn't difficult to make people laugh by being offensive. You don't even have to be all that creative-- you just have to know how to take advantage of the same mechanism that makes little kids laugh at the word poop. When little kids grow up, they apparently will pay good money to laugh at more complex forms of that kind of "comedy". It isn't "edgy" in any sort of meaningful way, because there isn't anything edgy about that type of thing; it's actually pretty standard fare.

[Baraka_Guru]

Irony is dead.

[filtherton]

It's not dead, just out of fashion.

[Xerxys]

This is by far the naughtiest non-naughty thing I have EVER seen!!!!!!!!!!

[Iliftrocks]

I can't remember if the rules for proper discourse allow me to say "Meh" here or not. Since I don't know, and can't find the energy to look, I will just think it.