"Are you Christian?"--on the spot
 

How would you answer that question? Or any other direct question about whether you belong to X religion?

Ktsp and I were leaving the gym last night, when a clearly non-Icelandic guy came bounding along down the stairs past us--he paused briefly to ask ktsp (out of the blue--but it happens sometimes between foreigners here), "Where are you from?" Ktsp answered, "Lebanon." The guy's next question was, "Are you Muslim?" (This all happened during a split second as we 3 were hurrying down the stairs outside the gym.)

Now, ktsp answered in the moment, without knowing where this guy could be from (he looked African to me, but ktsp said that he could have been an Arab as well)--if he was from Lebanon, then ktsp's answer would have been "Yes" because ethnically/legally (through his father), he is Muslim, even if he is not religious at all, and is in fact an atheist in terms of belief. However, if the guy was not from Lebanon, then ktsp could probably have just said "No" and the guy would have proceeded along. But since there was a lot of ambiguity, and there was only about 3 seconds of this encounter from start to finish, ktsp answered, "Sort of," as a safe way of responding.

The guy laughed and said, "What! You either are, or you aren't, a Muslim. If you are, then you say Salaam Alaykum," and ktsp laughed back (it was all a very awkward situation) and said "Salaam Alaykum," and that was the end of the situation.

Now, I proceeded to discuss and dissect the whole thing on our way home from the gym, which no doubt irritated ktsp a bit (I tend to over-analyze and nit-pick a bit much on these types of things)--but I found the whole thing to be so interesting. In Lebanon, actually, no one would so casually ask about your religion 1 second after "meeting" you--it's a rather subtle, hush-hush thing there that gets "discovered" through proxy questions about your hometown, name, etc. And in America, some people do ask ME if ktsp is a Muslim (because they assume all Arabs are Muslim, I guess), and I promptly answer no, he's an atheist, and leave it at that.

However, I don't think I've ever been asked straight up, "Are you Christian?" right on the spot. I was either always assumed to be Christian (when I was in that crowd), or I wasn't, also depending on the crowd. I think that today, if someone asked me that question like they asked ktsp last night, I would just have to say "No," but then proceed to mention my history with both Christianity and Buddhism, if there was time.

Personally, my identification with a religion ultimately depends on what I ACTUALLY believe AND practice. It doesn't have to do with an ethnicity or another form of identity, as it does in Lebanon--or even sometimes in America. I know of many people who would simply answer "Yes," even though it might have been years since they went to church, and in reality perhaps they are more agnostic or atheist than religious... because they want to "be" something, or they don't want the other person to think badly of them, or they simply don't know what to say other than "Yes, I'm a Christian," even if it's not really true. I find this response to be spiritually dishonest, in a way, but I know that I'm on my high horse when I say that... not everyone feels as cut and dry about religion as I personally do.

So, in a way, I agreed with the man bounding down the gym steps. You either do or do not identify with a religion--no ifs, ands, or buts. But I also recognize that these kinds of questions don't always have those kinds of unidirectional answers, so that's why I'm interested in hearing how you all would respond. Consider yourself answering not just in your own frame of reference (your neighborhood, your country, etc), but say you were traveling abroad, around people who knew nothing about American religion, who were perhaps very religious themselves--and you simply had to answer their question.

Sounds weird, but I'd like to be asked. So that I can say, "No," followed by, "I'm nothing." I just want to incite someone into arguing with me, really. The way I see it, whatever happens next is a story to be told around the table.

I have been asked several times and I always respond - No. I don't recall if anyone has ever queried me further. But, if they did, I would respond, 'I am nothing.' And smile. :)

I've been asked on the spot and have, since my late teens, always responded. No. When asked to clarify I say I don't believe in gods.

If I were asked if I was Christian, it'd be a flat out, emphatic NO. But, if I was asked if I was Jewish, I, too would answer "sorta".
My mother is Jewish, meaning, by Jewish dictates, I am as well. And Jewish is a culture as well-in addition to the religious practice, there is the food, the languages of Hebrew and Yiddish, even the way "we" express ourselves, which, from my mother's family, has sneaked into me and my siblings.
However, for all intents and purposes, I am an atheist with pagan leanings. :p
Many of my spiritual habits and core beliefs from the earliest of my life are, as I found out rather recently, identical to those of Wicca, although I have never researched it thoroughly nor practiced it.

We frequently have Jehovah Witness people come knocking; if and when they do, I, very straight faced, say, "Sorry, not interested. I'm Pagan Jewish." Stops them for few seconds.... :D

I'm mid-atlantic unorthodox. We vivsect wombats in dark ceremonies.

I've never been asked. Some mormons stopped by on the door to door tour one time, but they didn't ask. They just wanted to know if I wanted a copy of Watchtower. I was kind of annoyed because it was dog movie day on USA.

If asked, I would say yes.

If asked if I've experienced the abiding love of Jesus Christ, I would say shut the fuck up.

Yeah, this is what I needed to process about ktsp's response. Religion in Lebanon goes hand-in-hand with ethnicity, for good or ill. It's something that I have a hard time understanding as an American--though I do see how it works from a Thai perspective. To be Thai is to be Buddhist--that's one major reason why Christian missionaries have always struggled for converts in Thailand. In some places, religion is so strongly tied up with culture, that there is almost no way of disentangling them for the average person.

Would you guys say that Christianity has a "cultural" identity in North America? It definitely does in Iceland--religion is institutionalized here, and yet it is a nation full of functional atheists. And yet, the vast majority of Icelanders are baptized, married, and buried in the church. They can't imagine doing it any other way, even if there is no faith or practice remaining.

I don't personally know many Americans who identify as Christian in a purely cultural manner--they're either very serious about their religion, or they're as far away from that as you can get. But my sample is biased according to my group of friends.

If people ask me if I'm Jewish, the conversation is never a serious one. It usually goes like this.

"Are you Jewish?"
"No."
"Are any of your parents Jewish?"
"My mom is."
"So you're Jewish!"
"Judaism is a religion, not a race. The racial definition of a Jew was established by a French anti-semite over 100 years ago in order to classify a lesser breed of people. I'm not fucking Jewish and you need a better education."

People just assume I am Christian like you said, I have never been directly asked.

Actually now that I think about it that is a rather annoying assumption.

I'm Agnostic.

I can't speak to Christianity generally, but I think that Catholicism has a "cultural" identity in North America (at least the way I have experienced it).
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A man with religious tracts approached me on campus one day back when I was in college.

Man: Are you Christian?
Me: I am Catholic.
Man: What is that?
Me: ?!?!?

I wanted to say, "Do you know anything about the history of your church?"

I've fantasized about Lebanese people saying these kinds of things in their home country, but it's just not that simple. "Being Muslim" (or Christian, or any other of the 18 sects in that country) has almost zero to do with what you believe or even what you look like, and everything to do with where you were born and what your last name (from your father).

Same deal with your post--Judaism is not a race, but it *is* an ethnic identification, and the vast majority of the world's population recognizes and participates in some form or another of ethnic identification. Good or bad, it's the way things are. And after my experiences in Lebanon, I don't know how wise or productive it is to start arguments for the sake of arguments (especially about ethnicity) as a foreigner in the Middle East. In the US, sure... it's our own culture, and we know how to negotiate it. But not as a stranger in a strange land.
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Wow, that is scary, though not altogether surprising. At my evangelical university, it was required for us to take church history classes--and we had Catholic professors, thank goodness. (Other evangelical universities will not even hire Catholic professors, if you can imagine that.) But yeah, the old American prejudice of Catholics not being "real Christians" (in the evangelical sense) is extremely bothersome.

Jewish religious belief means that if your mother is Jewish you are Jewish. Now what you do or do not do I do not care, but if you ask another Jew that scenario he will say you are a fellow Jew. If you want an insane long thread one that I prefer to never really discuss, since I have beat it dead with other people before just going on and on, the question is what does being Jewish mean religion or nationality / both.

I wear a yamulka I never get asked if I am anything it is very obvious my belief. That being said I have people who automatically assume that they can confront my belief and try to debate and convert me in public (mostly jews for jesus), I normally leave them wishing I would leave and stop talking to them, despite the fact that they initiated the discussion.

And I would reply "No, you need a better education" and shake my head. See why in your other thread.

How would I respond? It depends.

If I had to be somewhere and didn't have time for a conversation, I'd say, "Shibboleth". I mean, I don't want to be killed at the fords of the Jordan. (5 points if anyone gets the reference)

If I had a few hours to kill, I'd respond "What's a Christian?" and then let them talk for a while. Then I'd systematically take apart most of their preconceptions about the Bible by asking simple questions.

This assumes you're more knowledgable than every Christian on the planet.

This furthers the stereotype that most Christians don't know anything about the bible, break most of their own rules, and are essentially adlepated simpletons.

A true Christian is not some idiot who gets his brainy on by reading Left Behind books and praying for the rapture.

I'm not, but I wouldn't just answer "no." I'd be too suspicious of that person's reason for asking. I'd have to ask them why they want to know. Some random person just doesn't need to know my religion and he should mind his own damn business.

I'd have to agree with Poppinjay on this one. Will, I know more than a handful of Christians who would easily take you to task intellectually, long before you got a chance to ask them "simple" questions about their "preconceptions." You cannot paint them all with the same brush, far from it.
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Excellent point. I've had the same feeling when I was asked once (by one of my formerly close friends) if my husband-to-be was a Christian... without even being asked if *I* was still a Christian. It had been some years since I had seen this person, and the first question he asks me after 5 minutes of small talk, is if my boyfriend is a Christian? I actually did find it offensive, and have not put any effort into keeping up that friendship since then.

The only Christian I know who has been able to demonstrate he knows Christianity better than I do is my dad, a pastor. Every time I've ever, ever been approached by a Christian who wants to talk religion, I end up having to explain things to them citing scripture.

Being an outspoken atheist in America practically requires a strong knowledge of Christianity. It's why I know "Shibboleth".

Edit: to clarify, there are probably a lot of Christians who are more knowledgeable of the Bible than I am, but they aren't ever the ones who want to start conversations about religion.
"True" Christian? Who's to say what a true Christian might be? What if Fred Phelps was a true Christian in the eyes of god? I couldn't say because I've never spoken or otherwise communicated with god.

When I was in high school, I lived with a family in Valladolid, Spain for a very short time. Everyone I met in Spain professed to be Catholic. On Easter, the family I was staying with dropped me off at mass. The church was filled with older adults- very few people my age. My host family picked me up after mass. Talking to other people my age throughout the following week, no one I met had gone to mass on Easter. The holiest day of the year... I thought that it was strange at the time.

My sampling of Catholicism in Spain was very limited, but it matches what you describe above.

Regarding the question posed in the OP title: If someone asked me "Are you Christian?" on the spot, I would probably say, "None of your business."

Yeah, I was just going to say... the types who want to "witness" to you, are probably not the scholarly/global types who generally know better than to get in strangers' faces about religion. Strange how that goes, isn't it?

My answer would be quite simple, "I believe in one God, but I would not label myself a Christian."

Now if they asked questions I could explain that. I believe that there is one God, and that He (making God male is just a time saver, I'm not sure I believe God is male or female) is seen by everyone, but everyone sees different parts of Him. Like the 20 people who see the same robber but the cops end up with 15 different profiles - aka why we have some many different religions.

But after reading that, I can't help but think, "The nerve of that guy." I mean, I understand that for some people religion is important, but I grew up with the understanding that that is something you ask a friend. And that it's really only important if you plan on spending a lot of time with that person. I don't know. Maybe it's just because that is something that I would never think to ask. I really don't care what religion someone is, as long as we can get along - and they aren't doing a bunch of weird shit like killing people and eating the leftovers, you know?

I think it's a shame, really. If a Biblical scholar showed up at my door on a Saturday morning instead of two young men with only a shallow knowledge, I'd invite him in for tea and bounce questions off him for hours. Religion and mythology are fascinating parts of human history.

I usually answer "Yes, but I'm an Episcopalian." If the discussion goes further, the person will typically find out that my faith is devoted to the Buddhist philosophy as well. No, the two are not mutually exclusive; in fact, they meld beautifully.

it'd depend on what mood im in if i get asked...

sometimes i'd say "yeah im muslim. but why would that change anything?"

or something im just more blunt with a "why does it matter"

in all this time on tfp ive never wondered what religion ktsp followed. didnt really bother me one bit. some of my best friends come from all walks of life, and i care not what religion people follow. i wouldnt even ask about their belief because its a non issue for me.

it would really irk me thoroughly though if a complete stranger asked me those questions.

"Yes. Why do you want to know?"

The only instances in which I'd care what religion someone is would be when I'm inviting them to go to a place where potentially offensive things might happen.

Do you think that this partly came as a result of you growing up in a Western country, as opposed to total immersion in Lebanon? I know that for ktsp, his family is basically agnostic/atheist (despite their ethnic/legal ID's being Christian and Muslim--a relatively rare combination, as it is)--and that this shaped his worldview on religion quite a bit, much more than it would have if he was raised in a mono-religious, adherent household in Lebanon. I have also gotten the feeling that amongst his friends, most people are also like you and don't really care what religion other people follow... but I have met some Lebanese who *are* indeed interested in what religion their countrymen follow, and they always come off as being a bit creepy, somehow.

I feel that people who start a conversation with a stranger about religion, as a basis for getting to know that persona, are basically somewhat "off" in terms of personality. They have an agenda, and it makes everything awkward and unnatural. Might even be lacking in some kind of social skills, or I don't know what... due to their fervor. Maybe this is my bias, but I have felt it in many different cultures and religions (though come to think of it, never among Buddhists). It is a frankly insensitive way of getting to know someone, and usually ends up giving the exact wrong impression of your religion than you wanted to give. And yet, they persist...

hmm..no not really abaya. i grew up in a fairly conservative muslim family. we observed all the islamic traditions and celebrations and everything that comes along with it. we also had muslim and non muslim friends all along the way throughout my life, and i still do. some of my very best friends are non muslim. i was involved in athletics and swimming for much of my life.

my parents kept myself and my siblings within the realm of religious practices, while at the same time mingling with everyone else. their method meant i got a view of everything rather than cocooning me into a religious enclave.

in saying that there is still pressure from islamic circles that look down upon the way i think, but im my own person and i believe what i believe.

on the subject of people actually caring about what otehrs believe in, its also necesary to know that its also a part of the islamic brotherhood to care enough about who your brothers are and to greet them well with the greetings of peace. i see no malice in that.

what you probably came across sounded like a social misfit that found a common bond between ktsp and himself

I've been asked a few times if I'm Christian... though usually not as "on the spot" as that! I usually say something to the effect of "I was raised Christian, but I'm not religious anymore." Depending on how well I know them, I'll elaborate by saying I'm agnostic.

I started a thread in Philosophy a few years ago about people labeling themselves Christian. It was met with all kinds of hostility and wrongful assumptions as to my motives. People get very touchy when you ask them to rationlize or explain reasoning for the insistence of being labeled a Christian.

But I think that the original question should be "Do you claim to be a Christian". Because it seems to me that a great many (dare I say the majority) people claim to be Christian, but practice little or no dogma resembling Christianity. If I claim to be a pilot, but I don't know how to fly a plane, don't read any flight instruction manuals, and don't plan on going to flight school, am I actually a pilot if I really really believe it.

I think you've hit it with both barrels. I think that there is an overwhelming urge to be part of a group. As well as the sense that (at least in America) that labeling oneself as a Christian instills an inflated sense of moral superiority. Many times that is the only time that there will be any indication of someones Christianity, when they are condemning the morality of someone elses actions.

I think another reason why people instinctively answer "yes" is that their ego simply won't allow them to admit "I don't know".

Judges, 12th chapter. Also, a kickass mid-Season Two episode of "West Wing."

That said, I obviously do not tell people who ask that I am a Christian, because I'm not. I usually proudly tell them that I'm Jewish. For the most part, that tends to be an end of it, unless the people who ask are missionaries.

I lived in Santa Cruz, CA for seven years, and at least at that time, it was a hotbed of Christian missionaries-- probably because of all the pagans, Wiccans, atheists, and other folks who draw missionaries like fresh meat draws dogs. I was very poor at that time (being a struggling actor), and so my cheap entertainment was to debate missionaries. Usually they were kind enough to come round to my house, providing hours of fun without the cost of Cable TV, but sometimes I actually went looking for them on the street, if it was a slow afternoon. I had a splendid time showing missionaries that they really ought to read up on their theology, history, and biblical criticism before taking to going round and inviting people to change their beliefs. I believe at least once, I actually got Jehovah's Witnesses to question their beliefs, by explaining to them (with various supporting evidence that I kept handy) that the word Jehovah is a total misnomer, and the result of an ignorant mistake.

Good times, good times....

I figured you'd get it! I loved that episode of the West Wing, especially when Bartlet realized that asking qualifying questions of the Chinese immigrant really wasn't what he should be doing. And then he let them go.
If you really want to have fun, try converting them to a different religion. When I see Jehova's Witnesses come to my door, I always try to grab my copy of the Qur'an.

I think it's a cultural thing. In the US, it's taboo to talk about religion, salary, marital status etc. But elsewhere in the world people are remarkably candid and forward with their "personal" questions. It is not uncommon to be asked "how old are you?", How much do you make?", What religion are you?" etc. It's interesting how many of you are either offended or suspicious of these types of questions. It's just a way to get to know someone.

For me, if asked, I always reply "Christian" and that's pretty much it. Or "New Jew" for the more religious inclined.

Culturally Jewish is very broad as the culture runs the gamut from all over the place. Russian Jews, Ethiopian Jews, Iraqi Jews, Persian Jews, New York Jews are very different from each other culturally.

I'd answer the same way someone asked us in Union Square the other day,"Are you a New Yorker?"

We just kept walking...

I'm an atheist, but I'm a Christian atheist (if there is such a thing).

By which I mean, I was brought up being taught about the Christian faith (Church of England), and know the rites and mores of protestantism.

It colours what I am, but I do not belive in God.

:lol: Now I KNOW you're from an Asian family! :lol: That's the first question out of all of my Thai family members' mouths when they meet someone new through me... especially when they met ktspktsp. Kinda took him by surprise (in the US), though in his culture, it's not all that uncommon, either. My mom was famous for asking my girlfriends (when they would come over to see me while I was home from college/grad school), "Do you have a boyfriend?" before even asking them how they were doing, etc. It was the first question out of her mouth--she was always MOST curious about whether they were all still virgins, etc. Hilarious.

Anyway, off my own topic here... but yeah, in my Asian family, religious discussion was right out on the table just as much as any other "taboo" topic. Quite the opposite with the rest of my family.

I answer, "No, I'm Jewish." I was raised Jewish, had a Bat Mitzvah, am married to an agnostic (says he's nothing, but does not deny the existance of GD), had a Bris for my son and plan on sending him to Hebrew and Sunday school. My family celebrates all of the major Jewish holidays. I rarely go to Synagogue, but I don't feel that negates me being a Jew, just like rarely going to church negates someone elses Christianity.

I also feel that being a Jew is also a huge, if not all, of my cultural identity. I live in the suburbs of a major east coast city with a large Jewish population. Most Jews around here are Ashkenazi and really don't celebrate the culture of their ancestral country, but rather the traditions, food, belief systems, etc. that went along with being an Eastern European Jew. I work in a small dental office with a staff of 7, including the dentist. Four of us are jewish. We all have great recipes for brisket and kugel circulating in our families, very similar traditions and stories about "the old country," even if I have no idea which "old country" they are referring to nor do they know which ones I'm referring to. I'm just as much of a mutt as most Americans today. Of my Jewish relatives, I'm Russian, Ukranian and Czech. But, I don't identify myself with any of those nationalities, b/c none of the national traditions, outside of Jewish ones, were passed on to me.
My other nationality is Irish. My paternal grandmother was 100% Irish Catholic. My grandfather's family even sat shiva for him when he married her in the 1930's. Since his father, as well as the rest of my family, was a reform Jew, he is still Jewish. That said, she never instilled any Irish traditions into him before she died when he was a kid, so I don't really identify with being Irish unless it's St. Patrick's Day.

I've never encountered a stranger up and asking me my religion out of the blue. It seems horridly rude, and I think that would be my response. Something like "Why do you ask? Are you with the CIA?"

Essentially, if I don't know you from Adam, it's none of your goddam business.


(Truthfully, I don't know what "religion" I am, anyway. I was raised by devout Athiests, but am more of an Animist/Wiccan/Gnostic/Unitarian Universalist, with a heavy dose of skepticism, but still, it's none of your business if you're a stranger on the street)

I would just smile and say "yes, I am." and then go on about my business. That is, if the stranger didn't shoot me.

It's weird to me because as an American, we are so open and liberal about some things but get all uptight and conservative about others while other cultures are the opposite. It took me awhile to get used to but traveling in Latin America, Asia, and the Middle East, these types of questions are very common. After awhile, I really don't mind too much. I see it as harmless getting to know you types of questions and curiosity. I just chalk it up to cultural experiences.
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Are you American or Irish nationality (nationality is the citizenship you hold) or did you mean ethnicity?

I have found that Ashkenazi Jews are very different culturally from the rest of the Jewry. Very diverse the Jewish diaspora are.
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It's just a cultural thing. We don't usually ask those types of questions in the US or the West but in many other cultures they do. If someone asks you that, try not to be offended, most likely they are a foreigner.

A man once asked if I was a Christian as a pretext for begging some money for me. That was pretty low.

I am an American. What I meant was that my ancestric nationalities are Russian, Ukranian, Czech and Irish, but that I feel no ethnic connection to them, because ethnically I identify with being an Ashkenazic Jew.

I agree with you that the Askenazi are very different culturally than other Jews. I probably have much less in common with Sephardim.

"Are you Christian?"
"No."
"Well, what are you?"
"I'm rather eclectic."
"Huh?"
"I feel whatever you believe will happen when you die is what will happen for you."
"Oh."

True conversation from about a year ago. In the context that I'm a hospice social worker. We talk about death more often than not in the religious context.
I usually just say I'm "eclectic".
There are little things from a number of world religions that I find would be nice to believe in.
If they push me further, as our Chaplain does frequently, I can push back in a way that keeps me from getting fired, but protects my capability to have my own thoughts. It works for me.

The amazing thing about TFP is how I find myself in complete agreement with some posters in some threads and complete disagreement in others.

Jorgelito has had some very good posts, in my opinion, in this thread. Willravel has not, in my opinion.

Willravel, first you write about your complete ease at taking a personal belief of christianity apart by asking simple questions, then you equate true christianity to Fred Phelps. What the hell are you smoking? It's great that you can debate the religion with your dad. I'm sorry the rest of us don't measure up to your high standard of learning. Your knowledge of the word shibboleth astounds me. I didn't know what that word meant until I was oh, 17 or so. 20 years ago. My shibboleth is intelligentsia.

Most of what I know about christianity came from studying with old testament scholars, interpreting what was meant by most of the law. Do you know the law? Tell me about it, Mr. Smartybuckets.

Born and raised one (Goes with living in Ireland) but I can't say I am a very good one.
I guess you could say me and Faith have some issues.

i'm jedi....

This is actually a very considerate thing to do.

You see, this is a context in which the question is valid. You're working amongst people, who are ostensibly not just "strangers on the street," and as most hospice patients are looking down the barrel of mortality, there's validity in their seeking help in their own quest for faith of some sort, so knowing the faith/lack thereof of a social worker in a hospice seems germane. I'd love to have long conversations about the snippets of "the other side" that I've seen here in my time on earth with folks in their shoes. Joe Witness on the street corner, not so much. My time here on Earth is just too short. A blinking of the cosmological eye. too much else to do.

(like surf the web. heh)

I was asked once by a co-worker out of the blue if I was a christian, my answer was that I was a "post-modern existentialist". It pissed her off, because I wouldn't explain it and she had to look it up. Which of course made me happy :D

Mostly my answer to those types of queries is that I am "non-religious". I define that further by saying that religion plays absolutely no part of my daily existence. I'm neither pro-religion of any sort, nor anti-religious. I just don't care.

But.... you're God of Thunder.

It rarely comes up with my patients, actually. I work with kids.
It's my ignorant coworkers that prompt the discussions and get rather pushy about it.

I can't say anyone has randomly asked me about my religion. I would be rather shocked and caught off guard, not sure how I would reply.

Now I previously had a coworker who would tackle me constantly about religion, often speaking of Christ and religion at work. I always found those types of conversations just as inappropriate as sexual subjects in the workplace. She wouldn't let it go until I turned the tables on her. She was quite the hypocrite, and would often do things such as taking things from other peoples desks, throwing a fit because she had to wait her turn on using a piece of equipment, speaking behind people's backs, judging people critically. I would respond with, "That isn't a very christian thing to do." Needless to say, she dropped her speaking from the pulpit to me.

I'm from Utah. I get asked if I'm Mormon all the time. Seriously, at least once a day. I simply say no. Done.

My response would be the same if Mormon was replaced with any religion other than agnosticism. I won't even allow the conversation to continue after I say no unless I'm actually interested in letting this person in on who I am.

"No."

Ahhhh, the enigma that is me :hmm:

You've really got to watch out for those cow orkers. Dangerous folk.

being Jewish makes it easy for me to answer that question "no."

Well, I picked "Christian" in the thread title because I figured it was the question that most people had been asked at some point (in North America)--but as I said in the OP, the original question to my husband was, "Are you Muslim?"--because he "looked" like one, I guess.

So when you get asked, "Are you Jewish?" are you surprised? Or is it pretty normal?

Ktsp and I just returned from another trip to the gym with our married friends (who are ethnically Pakistani, and ethno-religiously Muslim--but born and raised in Norway and NYC, respectively)--and it turns out that the same guy had asked them the same questions recently, and that he works at the gym and cleans there. I don't know if he just singles out all of us brown people to ask this question, or what... but we were all chuckling a bit about it. (Our friends are semi-practicing Muslims, but still not terribly serious about their religion--they don't eat pork, but we get drunk together regularly. :thumbsup: ) So now we know to watch out for this guy, I guess. My Pakistani-Norwegian friend says that it happens in Norway all the time, even though he grew up there and considers himself to be Norwegian--he gets asked "Where are you from?" all over the place, sometimes followed by the "Are you Muslim?" bit. I guess he's more used to it than us, coming from the US and Lebanon.

Hmm..maybe that guy finds comfort in shared similarities. So for this guy, he has nothing else to go on but "looks" so he takes guesses and stabs in the dark to find/meet people he can identify with. Ask him where he's from the next time you guys see him, especially since you are watching out for him which is a lovely thing to do. Ask him if he's Muslim and if he attends a local mosque (if there's one nearby) or maybe even recommend one to him.

It's like when I run into Americans abroad and they're like, "Oh my God, you speak English!" and the look on their faces is priceless. The relief of meeting another person from home in a strange land is comforting for some.

It is not uncommon for people to ask "Where are you from?", especially in homogeneous societies. So a Pakistani guy will stick out like a sore thumb in Morway I would imagine. I get that ALL THE TIME *chuckle*, even here in the US. Usually followed by "Wow, you speak good English". However, I am a very patient and understanding person so I try to use it as an opportunity to educate people regardless of how annoying it can be. The Middle East was very interesting because they refused to believe I was American even when I showed them my passport. It was very frustrating but I held my temper and tried my best to educate these poor people.

I usually can tell if someone is looking for someone to "identify" with, and I don't mind that. I did not get that feeling from this guy, especially when he reacted strongly to ktsp for saying he was "sort of" a Muslim. It was almost a question of, "Are you Muslim?--prove it by saying the Muslim greeting to me" and since ktsp didn't say it, the guy didn't hesitate to make ktsp feel uncomfortable about it within 2 seconds of meeting him.
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Now, I can understand this as well--and this might have been the guy's approach to the whole thing. But it just felt so aggressive... less about caring, more about judging... nothing about the encounter felt very open or kind.

It also occurred to me that the guy was asking ktsp, not me, this question--and I was standing closer to the guy, and he did not even acknowledge me standing there, who I was, how I was connected to ktsp, or whether I was a Muslim. Again, most likely a cultural thing, but as an American woman living in Iceland--I was thinking, "HEY man, I'm right here, and I'll answer your question too... and you probably won't like the answer!"

Oh, ok, I see what you are saying now. Yes, that's a bit different.

There's a few things going on over there too I would imagine. Him "ignoring" you may be because 1.) you are a woman, and 2.) you don't look "Muslim" to him. Both are awful answers I know. This happens a lot. It's like when people ignore you because you don't fit their preconceived notion of the group. It's one of the pitfalls of diversity estrangement.

Oh, I know--and those two things occurred to me almost immediately, as well (especially after traveling in Lebanon--though really, I've been mistaken for Lebanese now and then, just upon first glance).

I understand it from a cultural perspective, but from a personal one, I always find myself wanting to get right back in people's faces about it and show them what a mistake it was for them to make those kinds of assumptions about me. (Of course, that's usually just my gut reaction and I don't act on it.) I'm an assertive person, but I don't take well at all to aggressive people. Who does, really?

If I had a dollar for every time I've been asked this question, I'd have a hell of a lot of dollars.

I don't recall ever being asked if I'm a Christian, though. Just Mormon. I no longer try to explain my beliefs because it's nobody's business (and seriously, people here tend too be to ignorant to understand any belief system but their own)

Yeah, I've seriously been physically attacked over my non-Mormon beliefs in the past. That's why I just say no.

I tell them I'm a godless heathen.

I always answer "yes," in the kindest way I can, because I believe in being polite to the blind.

I think there's a bit of adversity to the notion people may be asked about religion. If some street corner evangelist asks, there's a certian reply. If you're in an airport in Freedonia and it's a matter of government record keeping, that may elicit a different response.

She's more of an asshole than a Christian.

I'm more Jewish than Christian, more Buddhist than Jewish, but if I had to give a straight answer, I would just say I'm a humanist.

I think the best I could answer is "I'm trying to be."

I would immediately shoot them a question in return, "Why do you wish to know?"

Depending on their answer and demeanor, my response afterwards will vary:

- I don't feel like discussing it.
- It's a sensitive subject.
- No.
- I'm not religious.
- I don't believe in gods.
- No, I'm agnostic.
- In that case, it's none of your business.

Most likely, a simply "No" will suffice, and if they probe, "I don't care to discuss it any further." I'm not one to argue with strangers over metaphysical ideas, primarily due to the futility of it and some unfortunate situations in the past.

As a teenager around the age of 13, I was spending the day with my grandfather and we went to a nursing home to visit with one of his friends from the Korean War. While they were talking privately, this middle-aged man in a wheelchair rolled on up to me in the hallway and started rambling about his time in the Coast Guard, followed by rants on the poor care he received at this particular nursing home. He was being a real bastard, shouting rudely at one of the nurses to bring him some water.

Abruptly, he asked if I was a Christian. I told him that I'm an agnostic atheist. His face turned beet red and he started flinging obscenities, repeatedly telling me that I was going to hell, at which point I walked away, past a room full of seniors with their jaws dropped, out the front door, and back to the car.

It's an easy question for me. I don't believe in the divinity of Christ (regardless of my uncertainty on the historical aspect) and therefore am not Christian. I do, however, believe in the message of forgiveness and treating others as I would want to be treated on the level of Kant's categorical imperative rather than on a spiritual level; I follow the doctrine of being the change I want to see in the world.

Depending on how comfortable I felt with the questioner, I'd either decline to answer, as my religion is "deeply personal, or" tell them "none of your business."

When the pastor of the Presbyterian church QW attended insisted on quoting the Epistles of Paul to me, I asked him why he set such store in the words of the man who denounced Peter as "that hypocrite in Rome" when, after all, Jesus personally anointed Peter to lead the faithful. He got off his horse, and went home to reread the scripture. He never bothered me again.

I'm quite comfortable with my independent Christianity.

Apatheism

Apathy + Theism = "I don't care about religion"

Edit: Cuz I don't speel guud.

Yeah, it kind of annoys me when strangers ask me this. It's happened a few times in NYC, and I think they just want to judge me. I usually just tell them that I don't believe in anything.

My response to a stranger would be, "That's a very personal question," followed by a intense stare.

On a good day I'm an agnostic, on a bad day I'm an atheist. Most Christian principles are fine by me, it's the idea of a supreme spiritual being that I don't follow.

Ten Years ago I would have answered 'Baptist' because I didn't identify with all 'Christian' religions.

Now, I have been asked that question in the last 6 months and my prompt response was "Agnostic". I'm content with that and still exploring the different philosophies out there.

This is one that could get me in deep shit where i live {the bible belt) but I DO NOT believe in god...there, I said it, let the cards fall where they may......how can anyone buy into the concept of an invisible being that lives somewhere in the heavens and has the ability to know everything that every one of us does on a daily basis, created the entire existence that we know today in a week and has all of our dead relatives that weren't SINNERS (quote, unquote) hanging around waiting to meet us when we check out....a little logic and reason puts an end to that farce almost immediately...remember, the bible was written by people that may or may not have known this supposed deity personally and it has been amended , edited and updated many times since it's inception....it was written in a time when most people were uneducated and needed some kind of control to keep them from becoming rampant maniacs....some intelligent people got together and said"Hey, here's a way to control the uneducated hordes" and thus was the birth of the bible...fear and mind control are strong weapons when used against the weak mind.....

I get asked this question a lot. I'm living in Korea now and there are dozens of sketchy Christian groups here. I'm sitting on the bus, subway, naked in the sauna and I get asked...

A: Are you American?
Me: No, I 'm Canadian.
A: Are you Christian?
Me: I'm Catholic. I'm the godfather of all you little Christian groups.
Conversation suddenly is finished and I look up and silently say "Thank God".

If I'm not feeling confrontational, I'll give a nonconfrontational "I was raised as a Catholic" response. If necessary, I'll explain that Catholics believe in the divinity of Christ and therefore are Christian. I'll debate it to the end of the earth and avoid the issue of my personal non-theism.

Why are we so squeamish about religion in this country? So strange.

If you're atheist you're atheist.
If you're agnostic you're agnostic.
If you're Muslim you're Muslim.
If you're Jewish you're Jewish.
If you're Christian you're Christian.
Etc, etc.

What's the big deal? What's wrong with discussion?

For such a liberal country, we sure come off as close minded and intolerant.

I'm sorry, which country are you talking about?

* * * * *

As for me, I don't really get this question. I live in Toronto, and with a place like this, you usually just go about being your religion rather than talk about it. (Toronto is quite diversified religiously.) If you're a part of the Christian community, then you'd talk about it within that, of course, but I don't think I've ever had someone ask me whether I were Christian.

My response would be, however:

"My family came from the United Church, but we were raised non-religiously."

If follow-up is required:

"I'm non-religious, but I'm influenced by much of the morality of the Judeo-Christian values."

"No I don't believe in God, but I cannot say I know for certain he doesn't exist."

"I'm a humanist."

"There are many core parallels between Christianity and what I believe when it comes to morality. The same goes for Buddhism and some other religions."

etc.

I don't find anything particularly wrong with discussing religion in a respectful manner. Unfortunately, there are enough individuals walking around that are unable to do so and will resort to petty arguing when confronted by someone of another faith, even if they themselves have initiated the conversation. For this reason, I prefer avoiding religious discussion with total strangers, and I know that many feel the same.

On TFP, there are moderators to ensure that a debate remains civil. On the street, you can only attempt to calm the other person down or leave the situation.

America, Baraka, I am talking about America. I just don't get the hostility about talking about religion based on all the reactions around here. I don't see the big deal. But then again, I have a diverse group of friends and acquaintances that often deliberates and debates about religion, politics, sex, philosophy etc. I met my previous girlfriend at a Starbucks over an argument about Buddhism. Had that conversation not started, we most likely would not have been together. Religion comes up often in conversation with strangers at clubs, bars, and parties. The alcohol just adds to the mix.

Fair enough point. I just see it as a part of life I guess. But then again, people will argue about anything. Try walking through any college campus with a view other than liberal and watch the backlash and vitriol spewed forth. I would find that more offensive than any religious talk. I have been assaulted and berated countless times when I was at college because I refused to sign certain petitions or did not support certain liberal causes etc. Liberals are very violent and volatile. Walking through campus was a like walking through fire.

No.

the correct answer is:

I'm Jedi - may the force be with you. Followed by that weird grunty noise that Yoda makes, or optionally that weird sound Chewbacca makes.

That'll either send them running or bring out the geekiness in them. Plus if they try to do the Vulcan sign you now have your full right to punch them in the face for insulting your beliefs :) and getting their "stars" mixed up.