Charlatan

I know it's a little late but May is...

NATIONAL HAMBURGER MONTH

So do your duty and eat a burger!

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

blahblah454

Giant Hamburger?

Baraka_Guru

You know that May 29 is World Digestive Health Day, right?

...but that leaves 30 burgers, which isn't bad.

Mmm.... burgers.....

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

RetroGunslinger

Time to make up for lost time...

__________________
It's a rare pleasure in this world to get your mind fucked. Usually it's just foreplay.

M.B. Keene

genuinegirly

Hey! Now that's special. I ate a garden burger yesterday, does that count?

__________________
"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

Psycho Dad

I want to say a garden burger doesn't count. You could get half credit though were it to have bacon on it.

__________________
Don't always trust the opinions of experts.

BadNick

I hope the rules disallow canned hamburgers ...what the hell is the world coming to?

pig

is it...giant hamburger month?

i'd prefer a steak sandwich, but there's always a sirloin that's been ground to make a hamburger. i'm looking forward to getting a tasty one next week...wait. that's in june. fuck.

__________________
You don't love me, you just love my piggy style

SSJTWIZTA

canned hamburger!?! i think im going to puke now.

i JUST had a BBQ burger. if this place was more populated, passer byes would think im insane, bbqing a burger at 3 AM.

oh, it was so worth it, though. Pistol in one hand, spatula in the other.

delicious.

__________________
First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Martin Niemoller

Jetée

...especially since I have but the span of a single work week to celebrate the fortuitous festivites of an entire month's dedication to beefed bliss. Tasy and delectable bliss; that savory strive for ah... bliss.



(humbuggery, tomorrow I'm eating olive pizza )

__________________
As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves.

—Mohandas K. Gandhi

uncle phil

i celebrated with really great burger yesterday...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

The_Jazz

This thread is useless with no Giant Hamburger participation.

__________________
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

xepherys

Seriously, where is GH to weigh in on this familial matter of his?!

__________________
The prospect of achieving a peace agreement with the extremist group of MILF is almost impossible...
-- Emmanuel Pinol, Governor of Cotobato

My Homepage

highthief

I just BBQed a nice garlic and onion sirloin burger.

Relish, mustard, ketchup and pickle on a crustini bun.

It's yummy.

How do you take your burger?

__________________
Si vis pacem parabellum.

Giant Hamburger

Hail Citizens!

Apologies for my late arrival.

I encourage you to slake your thirst for the hamburger throughout the calendar year and to the whims of your inner master. Time is indifferent to your diet.

Does the moon care whose flesh you chew in her silvery sight?
Will the tides not take you forever, whether or not you are filled with meat?

Since the great feathered hamburger first came down from the inscrutable sky and offered an antediluvian land sustenance; we have supped pleasurably from its corporal body. That sacrament is no more or less meaningful in a dusky November chill than it is in the gladsome noontide of May.

Throw your lips and teeth upon a hamburger only when you are ready,
and remember...FEAR burns at the hamburger's touch!

BadNick

ahh, yes. I love a good burger. I'll defer to GH's expertise, but in the meantime I have my opinion so here's what I do.

First, I think it's very important to not over-handle the ground meat. By mushing it around too much you destroy the texture and degrade the taste and texture experience. Start with ground beef chuck with no weird stringy stuff in it ...get a butcher to nicely trim and grind up the meat you select, grind it sort of course/loose not too fine; it should be at least 15% fat content or maybe up to 20%. Use fresh meat that you know the history of its handling since IMO you shouldn't grill it more than medium/pink inside so you don't want to eat overly bacteria-laden meat. I prefer grilling it over glowing charcoal but a well tuned gas grill also does the job (well tuned meaning it's not spewing gas vapors/odors on the food). A good fresh baked bun of your choice is very important. A nice fat juicy Jersey tomato slice, a couple leaves of good lettuce, slice of raw onion, salt and pepper. A bottle of your favorite cold beer. OK, maybe also some nice potato salad on the side.

SSJTWIZTA

badnick, you mean a nice slice a raw RED onion, right?

mmm, delicious. i think im going to eat nothing but burgers all month. ill let you guys know if my health starts to deteriorate. according to my vegan friend, meat will kill me...or something.

__________________
First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Martin Niemoller

lotsofmagnets

you expect your health to deteriorate in the next 3 days of this month. sensitive, sheesh.

__________________
mother nature made the aeroplane, and the submarine sandwich, with the steady hands and dead eye of a remarkable sculptor.
she shed her mountain turning training wheels, for the convenience of the moving sidewalk, that delivers the magnetic monkey children through the mouth of impossible calendar clock, into the devil's manhole cauldron.
physics of a bicycle, isn't it remarkable?

snowy

Personally, I prefer a slice of Walla Walla Sweet on my burger. Best onion ever.

__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

lotsofmagnets

what is walla walla sweet?

__________________
mother nature made the aeroplane, and the submarine sandwich, with the steady hands and dead eye of a remarkable sculptor.
she shed her mountain turning training wheels, for the convenience of the moving sidewalk, that delivers the magnetic monkey children through the mouth of impossible calendar clock, into the devil's manhole cauldron.
physics of a bicycle, isn't it remarkable?

BadNick

I love red onions ...and vidalia onions are very sweet but sometimes I'm in the mood for love ..errr I mean an onion with more bite.

I had to look up walla walla since I never heard of that either. According to wikipoo, it might be a mafia onion:

"...The Walla Walla Sweet Onion originated on the island of Corsica, off the west coast of Italy..."

but I'll see if I can find any around here for my burger tonight. My vegan friends and family don't get too close when I'm eating since they know I am carnivorous ...well make it omnivorous since I like everything even vaguely edible.

snowy

It's a sweet onion grown in a particular part of Washington State (near Walla Walla, hence the name Walla Walla Sweet) that is about the size of a softball at maturity. Compared to other onions, they are fairly mild and can even be eaten like an apple (I used to do this as a kid to freak people out). They make the best onion rings. Period.

And for those interested in them, a note: They are hard to find when they're not in season, and they won't be hitting stores around these parts until July/August. At least that's what I've noticed around the PacNW--it's easier to find Vidalias right now--but it could be that they are shipping all of our delicious onions elsewhere.

__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

KellyC

Damn, I haven't eaten ANY burger this month. I shall make amends starting next month....when school is out and the sun is shining and plenty of time for BBQs.

__________________
Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe?
Me: Shit happens.

Martian

I've had a couple of chicken burgers. Maybe I'll brave an actual hamburger for lunch tomorrow and see how that goes; I'll be out and about for most of the day, so stopping at a burger place for lunch should be simple enough. The tricky part will be finding one I can eat.

__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

HeAtHeN

Had the Indiana Jones burger at BK tonight.... pretty damn good too.

__________________

SSJTWIZTA

i need to try these so called "walla walla" onions on my burgers.

my mouth is watering right now. it might be time for another early a.m. bbq.

Edit: do they have any other name besides "walla walla onions?" i need to give these a try.

__________________
First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Martin Niemoller

Charlatan

Sadly, I have had no hamburgers this month... Since my office moved to the middle of nowhere, I have not been partaking of the burger and given the price of meat, I've been eating less of it.

There is only two days left.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

SSJTWIZTA

WTF charlatan?!?!


you best get on that shit, yo! -strikes urban pose-

__________________
First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Martin Niemoller

Baldrick

Damn! If only I'd seen this earlier, I've been doing beef dips and sushi all month for lunch...

__________________
You can be young only once, but you can be immature for the rest of your life...

snowy

Given where you live, Vidalia onions (another similar sweet onion) are probably easier to find. They're not quite as good as the Walla Wallas, but that could be my Washingtonian prejudice speaking. I like to cook with Vidalias when Walla Wallas aren't in season, though I've never tried them as onion rings. Like the Walla Walla, they're mild when raw.

__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

lotsofmagnets

one day left to make up for all the lost time

__________________
mother nature made the aeroplane, and the submarine sandwich, with the steady hands and dead eye of a remarkable sculptor.
she shed her mountain turning training wheels, for the convenience of the moving sidewalk, that delivers the magnetic monkey children through the mouth of impossible calendar clock, into the devil's manhole cauldron.
physics of a bicycle, isn't it remarkable?

SSJTWIZTA

well then, tomorrow i shall grab some Vidalia onions, red onions, a shit-ton of hamburger meat, and some buns and have myself a grand exit to National Hamburger Month.

__________________
First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Martin Niemoller

blahblah454

I have unintentionally eaten a hamburger probably 3 times a week, every week this month.

Martian

Unintentionally? Did you trip and swallow accidentally?

These hamburger-related incidents demand investigation.

__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

Charlatan

I have less than 12 hours left in the month and I have consumed no burgers.

Perhaps I need to have one of these burger related accidents.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

blahblah454

Its too late to perform an investigation... all the remaining evidence has since been flushed.

I must say though, these accidents have been some of the most pleasurable I have ever experienced. I can just be walking along and then BAM!!! burger down the gullet.

Jetée

Anyone holding a barbeque to which I can hastily jettison myself towards in a grandoise effort to consume to the effect of 2.4 burgers per waking hour?

__________________
As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves.

—Mohandas K. Gandhi

Baraka_Guru

Omigod, is there a way to get tested? How do I know if I've swallowed one? What if I've swallowed more than one?!

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Charlatan

There is about 10 mins left in the month... instead of feating on ground bovine on a bun I spent the evening feasting on some lovely thai...

Sorry GH, I am afraid it just wasn't meant to be...

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Psycho Dad

I'm going to go ahead and call June Titties and Beer Month early on so we can enjoy it longer than we did Hamburger Month.

__________________
Don't always trust the opinions of experts.