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-   -   Skimpy prom dress lands teen in cuffs (https://thetfp.com/tfp/general-discussion/135145-skimpy-prom-dress-lands-teen-cuffs.html)

UKking 05-15-2008 06:23 AM

Skimpy prom dress lands teen in cuffs
 
Quote:

HOUSTON—Marche Taylor’s prom night experience wasn’t what you would call “the norm.”

That’s because instead of a night of dancing and hanging out with friends, the Madison High School senior ended up in a confrontation with school officials and escorted out in handcuffs. Officials said her dress was inappropriate for the prom.

“I actually like the dress. Everybody else likes my dress,” Taylor said.

Madison High’s prom took place at the Sugar Land Marriott, but Taylor only got as far as the lobby. When she tried to enter the ballroom, an official stopped her.

She was told her custom-made dress violated the school dress code.

“She shook her head, she was like ‘you are not getting into this prom,’” said Taylor. “We were arguing back and forth because I wanted to know why I can’t get into my prom.”

Even after offering to provide more cover, Taylor was denied access to the final soiree of the school year.

At that point, Taylor said she was furious. She said if she couldn’t get in, she wanted her money back.

Things got so bad that someone called the police. Officers showed up, handcuffed her and escorted her out.

It was not the prom memory Taylor was expecting.

Madison High School Principal Aubrey Todd said the dress was inappropriate and violated the rules.

“It was revealing in such nature it was not appropriate for the prom,” Todd said.

And while she regrets how things turned out, Marche Taylor thinks she had little choice.

“They didn’t give me any options but to go to jail or go home,” she said.

And she still loves her prom dress, even though in the end it will cost her dearly.

Source of story and picture & video of girl in dress
If the dress code was published/available and she broke that rule, then fair enough that she didn't get in. However:

"Even after offering to provide more cover, Taylor was denied access to the final soiree of the school year."

I think that is an unfair response, considering she'd paid to attend this event. Assuming she meant fulfilling the dress code rather than adding...a hat or something, then I see it as a bit gung-ho to 'punish' her by the full on refusal after her getting it wrong to start with. It's some girl and a dress, not as though she was trying to smuggle a ton of drugs into the party.

That said I think it's easy to interpret this situation in very different ways given the article. It could be imagined as a reasonable girl being aggressively disregarded (as with the boy who was suspended for taking a phone call from his dad...?) or alternatively as an agressive, typical 'gansta' girl with a horrible attitude getting very unreasonable when not given her way. I find it saddening that I imagine the latter to be more likely than the former (the myspace info only propagates said suspicions) especially as one would hope that the school would only resort to the police if she were starting to become threatening or disruptive. Plus as sensationalist as 'cuffs' sound in this context...would the cops have used them if she hadn't put up some resistance...? I don't know. But I would like to think it were justified simply to retain a little faith in the appropriateness of the police's response.

abaya 05-15-2008 06:32 AM

Whoa.

Well, her attempt to "cover up" didn't seem to do much, if you ask me... (did you watch the video?)

However, the fact that they put her in HANDCUFFS as a result is way overboard. I think they should have just escorted her out the door, and maybe given her money back, but I don't know. She probably should have known that her dress was over the top in the first place, but who knows.

highthief 05-15-2008 06:33 AM

OK, she's dressed, well, like a street walker, but this looks like it could have been resolved differently.

snowy 05-15-2008 06:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by abaya
Whoa.

Well, her attempt to "cover up" didn't seem to do much, if you ask me... (did you watch the video?)

However, the fact that they put her in HANDCUFFS as a result is way overboard. I think they should have just escorted her out the door, and maybe given her money back, but I don't know. She probably should have known that her dress was over the top in the first place, but who knows.

I don't know--the combined fact that they wouldn't allow her into the prom after her offer to cover up and they handcuffed her to get her out of there tells me there must be more to this story than we're getting here. I'm guessing it was a case of really bad attitude and a sense of entitlement. Yes, she paid for the ticket, but it's a school event--if you don't meet the standards and don't act appropriately, of course they're not going to let you in, and if you have a bad attitude about it, of course they're not going to have any sympathy for you. The dress code and standards of behavior that apply during school also apply at school events.

Ustwo 05-15-2008 06:44 AM

Non-Story.

Redlemon 05-15-2008 06:46 AM

You can just get a glimpse of the rules for dresses in the linked video.
http://img369.imageshack.us/img369/466/picture2cj3.png
The first one reads "Only one inch of the midsection can be shown", and number five says "Proper undergarments must be worn". She admitted in the video that she was not wearing underwear. Also, I don't think she'd be able to cover her midsection sufficiently with her cape, based on what she showed that she attempted to do in the video.

The rules require a signature at the bottom, so she had to acknowledge that she read them. She chose not to follow them. Sorry, no refund; the money already went to the caterers.

The_Jazz 05-15-2008 06:54 AM

She wasn't arrested for dressing like a whore. She was arrested for disrupting the prom when she made a scene when they wouldn't let her in for knowingly violating the dress code.

Conversation in 2018:

"Remember that girl that got arrested at the prom? Whatever happened to her?"

"You didn't hear? She's in jail for [insert crime here]. I guess she thought that the law didn't apply to her any more than the dres code did. She sure did look skanky at prom, though."

abaya 05-15-2008 07:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Redlemon
I don't think she'd be able to cover her midsection sufficiently with her cape, based on what she showed that she attempted to do in the video.

Well, that was my point... if she had signed the rules, the least she could have done was to bring a jacket or something, in case she got stopped at the door (if she valued her ticket that much). But as I said about the video, her "attempt" to cover herself was pretty pathetic... to me, the top was the most offensive part of the dress, not the bare midsection.

I still don't think they needed to use handcuffs, though... unless she was getting violent or something? But they don't mention that in the story.

BBG 05-15-2008 07:21 AM

the mid section is what she had to cover according to the rules. And it says proper undergarments which means the probably 90% of the girls shouldn't have been let in because they aren't wearing bras.... she said she did have underwear on... She should at least get her money back

Jinn 05-15-2008 07:24 AM

Handcuffs can be used even when a subject is being detained, rather than arrested. If someone has been yelling at another person and waving their hands around enough, it's reasonable to me to think that she might strike out at someone; seems like a legitimate safety precaution, especially since she wasn't charged and was released.

Tully Mars 05-15-2008 07:50 AM

Why do I read this story, watch the video and come away with the feeling- teenager doesn't her way, throws massive fit and is lead away in cuffs?

Willravel 05-15-2008 08:20 AM

She made some bad decisions, broke some rules, and was held responsible.

abaya 05-15-2008 08:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JinnKai
Handcuffs can be used even when a subject is being detained, rather than arrested. If someone has been yelling at another person and waving their hands around enough, it's reasonable to me to think that she might strike out at someone; seems like a legitimate safety precaution, especially since she wasn't charged and was released.

Well, if that's true, then okay I can understand it. I guess to me (previously), handcuffs were only used for extreme, very dangerous situations... which a girl in a skanky prom dress doesn't occur to me as being. But oh well, in any case, she was asking for trouble and should have prepared herself better for the consequences.

RetroGunslinger 05-15-2008 08:30 AM

She looked like a transsexual hooker, which according to the rules was not allowed, and she thought differently. And knowing how black teenage girls tend to react to those types of situations, I'm guessing she didn't take it sitting down.

abaya 05-15-2008 08:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RetroGunslinger
And knowing how black teenage girls tend to react to those types of situations, I'm guessing she didn't take it sitting down.

Gee, that's not a stereotype or anything...

Psycho Dad 05-15-2008 09:18 AM

To be fair, I'd wager though that he was not the first to make that assumption. Just the first to post it.

Looks like the rules for attire were spelled out clearly. This person chose to push it it seems. I suspect she knew that her dress was not in line with the dress code and had prepared herself to argue before she got there. Once there emotions took over and the cuffs had to come out. At least they didn't use a stun gun.

Tully Mars 05-15-2008 09:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psycho Dad
To be fair, I'd wager though that he was not the first to make that assumption. Just the first to post it.

Looks like the rules for attire were spelled out clearly. This person chose to push it it seems. I suspect she knew that her dress was not in line with the dress code and had prepared herself to argue before she got there. Once there emotions took over and the cuffs had to come out. At least they didn't use a stun gun.

Dude! Don't taz me dude!

silent_jay 05-15-2008 09:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psycho Dad
To be fair, I'd wager though that he was not the first to make that assumption. Just the first to post it.

I'll be honest, I was thinking it, I blame it on Springer, or The Real World....

Shauk 05-15-2008 09:39 AM

really, she can dress like that on the beach if she so pleases, but if she's trying to express her adulthood in a school environment, thats just lame. You don't get away with that.

no underwear? what'd she plan with that move exactly?

RetroGunslinger 05-15-2008 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by abaya
Gee, that's not a stereotype or anything...

If high school has taught me anything, it's how the majority of certain races act, at least in the teenage years. I've seen maybe five white girls in loud fights over bullshit in the halls, but I've seen innumerable numbers of black girls. And further, being a peer mediator at my school, I've noted that 9/10 cases I and others handle are black girls mad at each other for stupid reasons, and the only time I've ever not come to a satisfying conclusion between subjects has been with a group of black girls.

I'm by no means a racist, if that's what you were implying, simply going by experience.

levite 05-15-2008 10:06 AM

Wow, a whole bunch of people got upset because a teenage girl dressed slutty on the night of the dance when everyone ends up drunk and having sex.

Gee, this must have taken place in America.

Far as I can tell, it's a non-story about people with a whole lot of time on their hands, and some fairly laughable ideas of how to deal with teenage sexual expression.

Jinn 05-15-2008 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RetroGunslinger
If high school has taught me anything, it's how the majority of certain races [in my very limited geographic area and similar socioeconomic status] act, at least in the teenage years.

I've seen maybe five white girls in loud fights over bullshit in the halls [Note: I've never actually studied this, and "maybe five" is a figure I am estimating based purely on anecdotal experience and fallible human memory], but I've seen innumerable numbers of black girls[Note: I don't actually mean innumerable, because there aren't even an "innumerable" number of people in the world. Furthermore, I've expressed it as hyperbole because I don't actually know the number, and am representing an estimation based on my pre-concieved perception, rather than hard data]. And further, being a peer mediator at my school, I've noted that 9/10 cases[NOTE: This is not actually 9 out of 10 cases, but merely an attempt at "statistical" representation of my feelings] I and others [NOTE: Not "others" in a statistical sense, but my 'peer group' validates my opinion of this] handle are black girls mad at each other for stupid reasons [NOTE: "Stupid" is my perception of the situation, and not actually based on objective criteria], and the only time I've ever not come to a satisfying conclusion between subjects has been with a group of black girls.

Quote:

I'm by no means a racist, if that's what you were implying, simply going by experience.
If "high school has taught you anything" its that you can validate your assumptions about an entire race of people based on anecdotal experience with a half dozen teenage women in similar geographic and socioeconomic locations as yourself. Your conclusion is equally invalid as if you'd said the same about how "white girls" always act the same.

RetroGunslinger 05-15-2008 10:20 AM

You must be kidding me.

Edit: Perhaps it's just me, but it seems like a bit of a stretch to analyze an argument quite like JinnKai has when the thread is about a girl being arrested for a skimpy prom dress. Also, and it's probably just me again, but I don't have the time or patience to write out a detailed, well-researched explanation on why I think black girls are generally obnoxious.

telekinetic 05-15-2008 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RetroGunslinger
You must be kidding me.

Edit: Perhaps it's just me, but it seems like a bit of a stretch to analyze an argument quite like JinnKai has when the thread is about a girl being arrested for a skimpy prom dress. Also, and it's probably just me again, but I don't have the time or patience to write out a detailed, well-researched explanation on why I think black girls are generally obnoxious.

It's just you. Your racist comments and views are racist.

"I'm by no means racist......black girls are generally obnoxious" :rolleyes:

Also, this girl broke the rules and got called on it. *yawn*

Willravel 05-15-2008 10:43 AM

Retro, I've witnessed the same phenomena when I was in elementary school, middle school and high school.

BTW, Jinn:
http://www.jabpage.org/images/correlate2.jpg
The site is racist, but the statistics are 100% correct, verifiable in the Almanac cited. This evidence is not anecdotal.

abaya 05-15-2008 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RetroGunslinger
I'm by no means a racist, if that's what you were implying, simply going by experience.

Well, now THAT's reading a lot into what I said.

My implication was pretty clear: simply that you were resorting to a very general stereotype, and that did not sit right with me. Your follow-up post gave us some insight as to why you remain loyal to the stereotype, so that was interesting. But it's still a generalization, and it doesn't hold true for 100% of the population that you are discussing.

This is not the kind of internet community where members can make broad generalizations about race, gender, sexuality, religious, etc. and expect that no one will notice. That's all.

The_Jazz 05-15-2008 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twistedmosaic
It's just you. Your racist comments and views are racist.

"I'm by no means racist......black girls are generally obnoxious" :rolleyes:

Also, this girl broke the rules and got called on it. *yawn*

Yes (unfortunately) and yes. That's definitely a negative stereotype you're sporting there, RG.

abaya 05-15-2008 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willravel
Retro, I've witnessed the same phenomena when I was in elementary school, middle school and high school.

The site is racist, but the statistics are 100% correct, verifiable in the Almanac cited. This evidence is not anecdotal.

Will--what the hell? Since when were we discussing violent crime?

That chart has no place in this discussion, and it's also vague as hell. Correlating basic percentage of crime with percentage of minorities is very, very bad social science... that kind of chart is meant to freak people out, not inform them. It's also from 1995.

RetroGunslinger 05-15-2008 10:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by abaya
Well, now THAT's reading a lot into what I said.

My implication was pretty clear: simply that you were resorting to a very general stereotype, and that did not sit right with me. Your follow-up post gave us some insight as to why you remain loyal to the stereotype, so that was interesting. But it's still a generalization, and it doesn't hold true for 100% of the population that you are discussing.

This is not the kind of internet community where members can make broad generalizations about race, gender, sexuality, religious, etc. and expect that no one will notice. That's all.

I'm sorry for reading into it like that, it was wrong of me. However, I never said anything about 100% of the black population, or even of the teenage female black population. I was talking about a general amount. I have black friends, some of whom are girls, and even they have said that black girls can act "crazy" quite a bit. I'm not attacking blacks, I was making an off-hand comment about how I imagine the situation in the OP went down, and then I made the mistake of trying to, once again off-hand, explain what I meant.

I apologize for coming off racist, and I'm sure some will continue to say I am for what I say, but it's simply not true.

Willravel 05-15-2008 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by abaya
Will--what the hell? Since when were we discussing violent crime?

Retro mentioned fights in school. Then Jinn went on a needless tirade.

Ustwo 05-15-2008 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psycho Dad
To be fair, I'd wager though that he was not the first to make that assumption. Just the first to post it.

Yep, nor do I feel guilty.

When you can guess the race of the 'victim' prior to seeing the story, are you being racist?

Its not as if it was a 50-50 chance or even a 75-25 chance.

So while many don't want to admit there are cultural differences which lead to negative behaviors of a higher percentage of a given race than other races, it doesn't make it less true.

While treating people based on racial stereotypes is grossly unfair, ignoring racial differences in culture is not productive either.

A concerned citizen who wants to help people should be looking at ways to prevent such anti-social behavior in said cultures rather than denying there are differences, not all of them good.

abaya 05-15-2008 10:57 AM

Thanks for the explanation, Retro. It's just a matter of reading your post a little more carefully... you say this:
Quote:

Originally Posted by RetroGunslinger
However, I never said anything about 100% of the black population, or even of the teenage female black population. I was talking about a general amount.

, but reading your original post,
Quote:

Originally Posted by RetroGunslinger
And knowing how black teenage girls tend to react to those types of situations, I'm guessing she didn't take it sitting down.

... does not leave a lot of room for interpretation. You include all black teenage girls, without qualification. A better way to put it would be, "knowing how SOME black teenager girls have reacted to those types of situations, based on this particular experience of mine... " might have gotten less of a knee-jerk response, that's all. Once again, I'm not calling you a racist (I'm of the mind that every single person on earth is racist, anyway) :) ... just pointing out that we can only know you by what you write, not what you think or believe. The joys of internet communication...

RetroGunslinger 05-15-2008 11:02 AM

Thanks for understanding, abaya. I freely admit that I do have a problem with explaining my points, as I almost always leave some key information out of the loop.

abaya 05-15-2008 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ustwo
Yep, nor do I feel guilty.

Are you even capable of feeling guilty? :lol:

I don't think anyone is ignoring/denying the fact that the student is a black teenager, and that that may have some relevance to the story--however, putting it out there as the MAIN reason for her behavior, with only a 30 second news blip to inform us, does not sit right with me.

Jinn 05-15-2008 11:16 AM

My "needless tirade" was on the fact that he is proposing anecdotal experience as fact, something he has been "taught by high school."

Quote:

Originally Posted by Retro
However, I never said anything about 100% of the black population, or even of the teenage female black population. I was talking about a general amount.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Retro
If high school has taught me anything, it's how the majority of certain races act, at least in the teenage years.

These two seem quite discordant. Either you're speaking specifically about young black women in your school, or you're speaking generally, about a majority young black women. If we're talking specifically, I would agree with you in that my anecdotal experience young black women are more often embroiled in loud verbal and physical confrontations than white women of the same age. I must admit, however, that my anecdotal experience is filled with holes; I see more white women than black, and thereby when a black woman is being verbally or physically confrontational, it 'sticks out' more in my mind. Likewise, I've never quantitatively measured the numbers of each race so I can't say truthfully that it even represents a correlation of the "majority" of a race.

If you'd left that "majority" statement out, it would've been fine.

Willravel 05-15-2008 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JinnKai
My "needless tirade" was on the fact that he is proposing anecdotal experience as fact, something he has been "taught by high school."

Was he lying about his experience? No? Then it was factual. There's nothing more to it than that. He wasn't making a blanket statement about an entire race, as he himself said.

RetroGunslinger 05-15-2008 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JinnKai
If you'd left that "majority" statement out, it would've been fine.

Well, I've already apologized for not being more precise once, I won't do it again.

Bill O'Rights 05-15-2008 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ustwo
So while many don't want to admit there are cultural differences which lead to negative behaviors of a higher percentage of a given race than other races, it doesn't make it less true.

While treating people based on racial stereotypes is grossly unfair, ignoring racial differences in culture is not productive either.

Very interesting (and valid) points.

It seems to me that "political correctness" has simply taught us to ignore cultural differences, or even outright deny that they exist.

And, while the fact that the behavior of this one particular black teenager, in this one particular situation (which she brought on herself), is "stereotypical"...those stereotypes do come from someplace. Some good...some not so good. But, they're there. Ignoring them does not negate them. And yet, we've been conditioned to ignore them in some hope that they'll simply go away. But, to insinuate otherwise is risking being branded a racist. Since no one wants that...we turn our heads and whistle.

The 800 pound gorilla is in the room. Does anyone want to point at it?

Shauk 05-15-2008 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ustwo
there are cultural differences which lead to negative behaviors of a higher percentage of a given race than other races,


So true, yet people think I'm racist for saying it.

Sorry, I'm not racist, and here comes the fucking cop out, my co-worker/friend is black, and I think he's a cool guy. But as a general rule, he's the EXCEPTION.

telekinetic 05-15-2008 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill O'Rights
Very interesting (and valid) points.

It seems to me that "political correctness" has simply taught us to ignore cultural differences, or even outright deny that they exist.

The difference between "there are differences between cultures" and "black girls are obnoxious" is not insignificant.

Punk.of.Ages 05-15-2008 11:58 AM

It's funny how a black chick in a skimpy dress can lead to a race riot!:lol:

When it comes down to it, it's very likely this girl didn't get her way, made a scene, and was escorted away.

My guess is this story was made into news in order to do exactly what it has done here....

Success for someone I guess.

Frosstbyte 05-15-2008 12:02 PM

I don't understand why we're not allowed to learn from our experiences when it comes to race. That's how your brain works. You take in inputs from what happens to or around you and you generalize it so that you can more quickly and easily adapt to similar situations in the future. While certainly not reflective of the entire planet, I can count the number of violent, loud fights I've seen in public amongst all non-black people on one hand and I couldn't begin to count the number of fights I've seen in public amongst black people.

I know EXACTLY what RG is saying about this situation and I know EXACTLY why he's saying it. That doesn't make either one of us racist. All learning requires some generalization, and this generalization given the facts before us is well within reason and not KKK-inspired craziness.

Edit: Ustwo said what I meant to say much more succinctly. Go him.

Quote:

Originally Posted by twistedmosaic
The difference between "there are differences between cultures" and "black girls are obnoxious" is not insignificant.

There is also a not insignificant difference between "black girls are obnoxious" and "a black girl who thinks a dress like that is appropriate attire for a high school prom is likely to respond aggressively when confronted for breaking the rules."

Bill O'Rights 05-15-2008 12:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twistedmosaic
The difference between "there are differences between cultures" and "black girls are obnoxious" is not insignificant.

Isn't it? Maybe...maybe not. But, I didn't read where anyone actually said..."black girls are obnoxious".

RetroGunslinger said "And knowing how black teenage girls tend to react to those types of situations, I'm guessing she didn't take it sitting down."

You read..."black girls are obnoxious"

Why?

Because you got the exact same Springeresque image that the rest of us did. Of a loud unruly black teen, hand on hip, head bobbing, finger waving, going "oh no you ditnt". Ever seen that? I have. Many times. from an overwhelmingly black source. Oh sure...you see the occasional white girl doing it. But then you just think...she's acting all black. That is where stereotypes come from. You wanna fight 'em great. But ignoring them is tantamount to burying your head in the sand. It's there, and it's there for a reason.

Punk.of.Ages 05-15-2008 12:27 PM

Quote:

Isn't it? Maybe...maybe not. But, I didn't read where anyone actually said..."black girls are obnoxious".

RetroGunslinger said "And knowing how black teenage girls tend to react to those types of situations, I'm guessing she didn't take it sitting down."

You read..."black girls are obnoxious"

Why?
/me points this out as kindly and unbiased as possible.


Quote:

Originally Posted by RetroGunslinger
You must be kidding me.

Edit: Perhaps it's just me, but it seems like a bit of a stretch to analyze an argument quite like JinnKai has when the thread is about a girl being arrested for a skimpy prom dress. Also, and it's probably just me again, but I don't have the time or patience to write out a detailed, well-researched explanation on why I think black girls are generally obnoxious.


RetroGunslinger 05-15-2008 12:27 PM

[EDIT - Beat me to it, Punk]

I did write "black girls are obnoxious" somewhere.

Bill O'Rights 05-15-2008 12:37 PM

Mea cuulpa.

But, my point still stands. Where did the view that "black girls are obnoxious" (be that some, most or all) come from? Observed behavior and conditioning. Yet, we're told to ignore that. We're wrong. What we see...is not so. The fault must belong to ourselves for seeing what we see. And to acknowledge it? Absolutely reprehensible.

Frosstbyte 05-15-2008 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill O'Rights
Mea cuulpa.

But, my point still stands. Where did the view that "black girls are obnoxious" (be that some, most or all) come from? Observed behavior and conditioning. Yet, we're told to ignore that. We're wrong. What we see...is not so. The fault must belong to ourselves for seeing what we see. And to acknowledge it? Absolutely reprehensible.

It's been a very bizarre consequence of the political correctness movement, and I dn't understand it even in the slightest.

georgezepeda 05-15-2008 12:57 PM

I used to live in this suburb. Hahaha, it's such a conservative town I would be interested in seeing how much of an uproar it's causing there.

Willravel 05-15-2008 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill O'Rights
Mea cuulpa.

Is that anything like "Mea Kahlua", or the latin phrase for when it's your fault you're drunk off kahlua?

abaya 05-15-2008 01:36 PM

BoR, and other who seem to think that I'm calling for blindness/ignoring the girl's "race," I'll quote myself from earlier in case you didn't see it:
Quote:

Originally Posted by abaya
I don't think anyone is ignoring/denying the fact that the student is a black teenager, and that that may have some relevance to the story--however, putting it out there as the MAIN reason for her behavior, with only a 30 second news blip to inform us, does not sit right with me.

In other words, in my mind there's a distinction between saying that "race" has some relevance to a person's behavior, and saying that it is the most important and MAIN explanation of someone's behavior.

To me, that's not an issue of political correctness, but I already know that's going to fall on several deaf ears. So be it. These conversations never go anywhere, anyway. (Although Retro, I do appreciate the candor in your follow-up responses.)

RetroGunslinger 05-15-2008 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by abaya
BoR, and other who seem to think that I'm calling for blindness/ignoring the girl's "race," I'll quote myself from earlier in case you didn't see it:In other words, in my mind there's a distinction between saying that "race" has some relevance to a person's behavior, and saying that it is the most important and MAIN explanation of someone's behavior.

To me, that's not an issue of political correctness, but I already know that's going to fall on several deaf ears. So be it. These conversations never go anywhere, anyway. (Although Retro, I do appreciate the candor in your follow-up responses.)

I understand where you're coming from, and I feel sort of badly for starting all of this. I've made a mountain of an ant hill, as the OP was simply about a girl being stupid, with no real significance in and of itself.

Cynthetiq 05-15-2008 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RetroGunslinger
I understand where you're coming from, and I feel sort of badly for starting all of this. I've made a mountain of an ant hill, as the OP was simply about a girl being stupid, with no real significance in and of itself.

sometimes it's just an article, sometimes the reveal is in how the community acts and responds, think of the episode in Twilight Zone wherein they turned off the power from the houses, and people thought their neighbors were aliens...

sapiens 05-15-2008 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill O'Rights
Mea cuulpa.

But, my point still stands. Where did the view that "black girls are obnoxious" (be that some, most or all) come from? Observed behavior and conditioning. Yet, we're told to ignore that. We're wrong. What we see...is not so. The fault must belong to ourselves for seeing what we see. And to acknowledge it? Absolutely reprehensible.

It may be that people base their judgments of the frequency of a characteristic in a group on the ease to which it comes to mind (a la the availability heuristic). Obnoxious black women are more noticeable than the many non-obnoxious black women. Consequently, people may base their estimates of the frequency of that characteristic on the ease to which it comes to mind rather than it's actual base rate in the population.

abaya 05-15-2008 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sapiens
It may be that people base their judgments of the frequency of a characteristic in a group on the ease to which it comes to mind (a la the availability heuristic). Obnoxious black women are more noticeable than the many non-obnoxious black women. Consequently, people may base their estimates of the frequency of that characteristic on the ease to which it comes to mind rather than it's actual base rate in the population.

Yes. This follows up on what Jinn said in post #35:
Quote:

Originally Posted by JinnKai
If we're talking specifically, I would agree with you in that my anecdotal experience young black women are more often embroiled in loud verbal and physical confrontations than white women of the same age. I must admit, however, that my anecdotal experience is filled with holes; I see more white women than black, and thereby when a black woman is being verbally or physically confrontational, it 'sticks out' more in my mind.

In any case, don't mess with sapiens. The man knows his stuff.

Quote:

Originally Posted by RetroGunslinger
I understand where you're coming from, and I feel sort of badly for starting all of this. I've made a mountain of an ant hill, as the OP was simply about a girl being stupid, with no real significance in and of itself.

Well, as I said, I appreciate your candor. So far, you're the only one who's willing to change your mind on the topic. You're a rare breed among this crowd of TFP'ers... :)

*Nikki* 05-15-2008 02:49 PM

What she had on is not even close to looking anything at all like a dress. Enough said.

abaya 05-15-2008 02:57 PM

Btw, reading this thread again... and Will, since you responded to my earlier question with this:
Quote:

Originally Posted by willravel
Retro mentioned fights in school. Then Jinn went on a needless tirade.

I have to ask: in what way did those two things lead you to pull up that chart earlier in the thread? I mean, I'm kind of surprised here, Will... do you stand by what that chart is communicating?

albania 05-15-2008 03:23 PM

A very odd but interesting tangent seems to have taken place. First, I guess I’ll respond to the opening post. To which there isn’t much to say; like clockwork almost every year a story like this makes headlines. Though this is the first that I can remember where the girl was handcuffed, but in any case it doesn’t seem to me to be such a big deal(but maybe the girl feels otherwise).

Now to the more interesting tangent. It is odd that race should make it’s way here, not in the fact that the subject is only superficially related to the case, but in the way which it arose. An offhand comment is commented on, then the first comment is expounded on(poorly in my, and apparently in other people’s opinion), then it’s defended by people who seem to be trying to make an almost totally different point, or perhaps it is that some people saw the glimmer of an internal argument they had been fermenting in their brains and projected it onto this case.

The argument as it was made in post #20(and apparently worded incorrectly) seemed from my point of view to summarize to this: From my experience(of some black girls) the majority of (all)black girls are (let’s put it nicely) illogical in tense interpersonal situations.

Since this wasn’t what was meant I’ll take it as an honest mistake and leave it at that.

The second argument that seemed to spring independently in my view summarizes to this, and since I think I’m paraphrasing couple of people you’ll have to forgive the liberties I take in generalizing it further than anyone actually posted:
Given the assumption that viable trends of behavior can be helpful in predicting future behavior. When this trend is observed impartially it can be thought of as generally correct in the absence of other contradicting facts insofar as it does not deprive anyone of any legal rights.


In developing the above I’ve sort of grown tired of the point I was trying to make so I’ll just cut to it without much elaboration. The first sentence as worded might as well be a tautology(unfortunately I think I might have learned to much math to be able to spuriously write it as fact),. In any case I included it for posterity and perhaps because it self-servingly makes my point clearer. In itself there appears nothing wrong, logically, with what is in italics above(of course feel free to interject and point out if you think I’ve wrongly worded the argument). However, as I see it, the motivation behind such a line of thinking is best suited for multimillion dollar corporations that deal with consumer trends(or our cave-man ancestors, an evolutionary account as to why this type of thinking might be beneficiary is in my view sophomoric; since I’ve noticed that when one goes down this line of thinking it generally becomes a penchant for wild speculation, and I only skirt the issue in the form of an over-elaborated quip here) and in itself is contrary to the ideals of our laws. Whose spirit(though perhaps not necessarily in practice) do not allow for such overarching judgment. So to me it seems that such a view is practically unnecessary for an individual in this day and age and flies in the face of the politically developed moral fiber of our state.

sapiens 05-15-2008 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by abaya
Yes. This follows up on what Jinn said in post #35:

It does less than follow up. It repeats his post with added jargon. Thank you for pointing out his post.

uncle phil 05-15-2008 03:42 PM

all ya gotta do is look at her...

did she violate a dress code?

criminy...

Manic_Skafe 05-15-2008 04:21 PM

Just as we have in the sexuality forum for shaving and penis size - we totally need a sticky thread for culture and race issues. It's nice to see all the activity but this is getting a little tedious.

And as for the hoochie dress, I can't help but to wonder not only what her parents thought of it but how she ever convinced them to pay for it. The cuffs were a bit too much but she totally could've worn them as an accessory.

ASU2003 05-15-2008 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by levite
Wow, a whole bunch of people got upset because a teenage girl dressed slutty on the night of the dance when everyone ends up drunk and having sex.

Gee, this must have taken place in America.

Far as I can tell, it's a non-story about people with a whole lot of time on their hands, and some fairly laughable ideas of how to deal with teenage sexual expression.

It's the land of the free I tell you. :sad:

You just have to follow everyone else's rules.

I support her right to do whatever she wants to do to be happy. But, I also don't want to pay taxes to raise any babies she might have.

blahblah454 05-15-2008 06:35 PM

Nice dress. If she were my daughter I would beat her for trying to even wear that out of the house.

I think its funny that she signed a waiver stated what can be worn and then showed up in that. Just goes to show you that you can get people to sign anything you want them too. Makes you feel good knowing something so stupid as a signature holds so much power (in the case of credit, and contracts and such)

Cynthetiq 05-15-2008 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blahblah454
Nice dress. If she were my daughter I would beat her for trying to even wear that out of the house.

I think its funny that she signed a waiver stated what can be worn and then showed up in that. Just goes to show you that you can get people to sign anything you want them too. Makes you feel good knowing something so stupid as a signature holds so much power (in the case of credit, and contracts and such)

no I'm not surprised at that at all. People sign a document and have it notarized stating they will not harbor dogs as part of the agreement to live in our buildings here in NYC... and what do they do? they go out and get a dog after they move in.

Psycho Dad 05-16-2008 04:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blahblah454
Makes you feel good knowing something so stupid as a signature holds so much power (in the case of credit, and contracts and such)

I hate to see where we would be without signatures. As hard as it is now to hold some people accountable for promises and responsibilities, can you imagine what it would be like without the proof of a signed document?

Strange Famous 05-16-2008 02:26 PM

the land of the free?

Cynthetiq 05-16-2008 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strange Famous
the land of the free?

seems kind of a trollish statement.

You aren't free to walk about the streets with your dick swinging about... You aren't allow to fuck on the sidewalk...
You can't wear what you want in some jobs...

so how is "Land of the Free" relevant?

telekinetic 05-16-2008 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strange Famous
the land of the free?

Yep. Schools are free to create and enforce dress codes for their private events.

USA! USA!

Strange Famous 05-16-2008 03:18 PM

a school kid shouldnt be lead away from a prom in handcuffs cos she turned up in a revealing dress.

I havent seen any evidence that she indecently exposed herself... but even if she DID, even if she committed some other crime of sufficient seriousness to warrant arrest - handcuffs? What kind of police force needs to handcuff a schoolgirl cos she is wearing a sexy dress and gets pissed off that she isnt allowed into her prom? The police involved are lucky that they only suffer mockery... they should be horsewhipped

RetroGunslinger 05-16-2008 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strange Famous
a school kid shouldnt be lead away from a prom in handcuffs cos she turned up in a revealing dress.

I havent seen any evidence that she indecently exposed herself... but even if she DID, even if she committed some other crime of sufficient seriousness to warrant arrest - handcuffs? What kind of police force needs to handcuff a schoolgirl cos she is wearing a sexy dress and gets pissed off that she isnt allowed into her prom? The police involved are lucky that they only suffer mockery... they should be horsewhipped

It appears that she made a scene about it, and as any current high schooler will tell you, the cops take shit reeeaaally seriously at school and school functions.

Strange Famous 05-16-2008 03:34 PM

well, I hope arresting schoolgirls at a school dance makes them feel like big men...

As you say school crime must be a big priority... I guess there are no drug pushers, property crimes, murders, sexual assaults, bank frauds, etc so the police have plenty of time to arrest kids who get angry about not getting ino a dance.

Cynthetiq 05-16-2008 03:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strange Famous
well, I hope arresting schoolgirls at a school dance makes them feel like big men...

As you say school crime must be a big priority... I guess there are no drug pushers, property crimes, murders, sexual assaults, bank frauds, etc so the police have plenty of time to arrest kids who get angry about not getting ino a dance.

what does the feelings of the police have to do with "big men"

your statements are so disjointed that I don't understand what you are saying.

If the principal was a woman would she be a "big woman"?

If anything has taught us anything, teens are volatile and can be problematic. A troubled teen in Iceland recently posted on his blog that he wanted to shoot his schoolmates. A Finnish teen shot 8 classmates before turning the gun on himself. The Scottish boy in Dunblane who shot 16 kids and 1 adult.

I don't have to remind you about Columbine where the kids shot up the school not because they couldn't go to a dance, but because they didn't have friends.

But hey, you keep making it look like the police have nothing to worry about...

Tully Mars 05-16-2008 03:50 PM

The cuff issue is likely policy. If they felt they had to removed her not using the cuffs wasn't an option I'd guess. The story and the video don't really explain why they felt they had to remove her. My guess is if she left on her own they would have let her, the paper work involved in something like this simply isn't usually worth it.

ASU2003 05-16-2008 07:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twistedmosaic
Yep. Schools are free to create and enforce dress codes for their private events.

USA! USA!

But kids (or young adults without the money to get to Amsterdam or Ibiza) aren't free to do what they want. Just force them to stay in line and follow the leader.

Ustwo 05-16-2008 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sapiens
It may be that people base their judgments of the frequency of a characteristic in a group on the ease to which it comes to mind (a la the availability heuristic). Obnoxious black women are more noticeable than the many non-obnoxious black women. Consequently, people may base their estimates of the frequency of that characteristic on the ease to which it comes to mind rather than it's actual base rate in the population.

I thought of this, but in that case it would have no predictive value.

I forget what % of the population blacks are to other races in the us, something around 11-15% I think. So when you read a story about 'girl wears something inappropriate and gets led out in cuffs' there should be a only around a 15% chance or less of that girl being black, yet there were so many of us were thinking it.

Likewise I can understand why I wouldn't associate bad behavior with someone who 'looks like me' on racial terms, but then I should be more aware of obnoxious asian women or indian, and yet, I am not.

If someone says 'serial killer' and thinks 'white male' should I be offended or feel its a racist thing to do? To be fair there have been serial killers of other races, but if I read about a creepy, bodies in the crawl space, doing it for years serial killer, I'm going to be shocked if its NOT a white male doing it.

Psycho Dad 05-17-2008 04:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ustwo
So when you read a story about 'girl wears something inappropriate and gets led out in cuffs' there should be a only around a 15% chance or less of that girl being black, yet there were so many of us were thinking it.

My first thought when I saw the headline a couple of days ago on cnn.com was that the girl was white. I suspicioned that the girl wanted to display herself in a Paris Hiltonish manner. It was after seeing the video that I made a generalization that she threw a shit fit. And like you, I'm not feeling guilty or apologizing for it. And I still suspect that the shit fit was the cause of the cuffs being brought out.

Maybe these opinions we form when we see things like this are the closest things we have to instinct. I think we base our feelings on the matter on past experiences, but to a degree it is easier or safer than assuming that everyone is like us. Sometimes we are wrong or our opinions or feelings are not on par with another's. Political correctness and the belief that we should be one big, warm and fuzzy group of people hypersensitive to other's above ourselves make some want to forget we are still emotional creatures.

grumpyolddude 05-17-2008 08:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Manic_Skafe
Just as we have in the sexuality forum for shaving and penis size - we totally need a sticky thread for culture and race issues. It's nice to see all the activity but this is getting a little tedious.

And as for the hoochie dress, I can't help but to wonder not only what her parents thought of it but how she ever convinced them to pay for it. The cuffs were a bit too much but she totally could've worn them as an accessory.

This was the first response to go anywhere near my own initial reaction.
There are serious issues to be addressed concerning raising our young, and this thread gets bogged down with race:shakehead: As for the rest of this crapolla... Cynthetiq's signature says it best.

I wouldn't take the situation to the place tha blahblah454 suggests, (Originally Posted by blahblah454:
"Nice dress. If she were my daughter I would beat her for trying to even wear that out of the house.") but then, I'm rather confident that my daughter wouldn't make that kind of choice.

The school authorities were absolutely right in denying her entrance. The dress code was clearly stated. If the girl had simply left the scene civilly, the police would have never been involved.

As for those who question the police's handling of the situation: Their job, as I see it, was to defuse things before they got out of hand. If, in their estimation, the young lady was irritated to the point that she may have physically resisted being removed from the scene, then they were correct in using the cuffs as a precautionary restraint, as much to protect her as anyone else.

Psycho Dad 05-17-2008 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by grumpyolddude
There are serious issues to be addressed concerning raising our young, and this thread gets bogged down with race:shakehead: As for the rest of this crapolla... Cynthetiq's signature says it best.

It is far from bogged down. And any discussion concerning racial and cultural differences is going to go farther toward solving those serious issues than ignoring those differences.

Strange Famous 05-17-2008 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cynthetiq
The Scottish boy in Dunblane who shot 16 kids and 1 adult.

Why are you calling Thomas Hamilton (who was a middle aged man) a "Scottish boy"?

grumpyolddude 05-17-2008 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psycho Dad
It is far from bogged down. And any discussion concerning racial and cultural differences is going to go farther toward solving those serious issues than ignoring those differences.

I see your point. But I think the OP was about a young person, an agreed to manner of behavior, and the deliberate flaunting of same. We have made our discussion about the color of her skin, rather than the bad behavior.

RetroGunslinger 05-17-2008 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by grumpyolddude
I see your point. But I think the OP was about a young person, an agreed to manner of behavior, and the deliberate flaunting of same. We have made our discussion about the color of her skin, rather than the bad behavior.

As much as I didn't want to lead the discussion down such a path, I don't think there's any more enlightening discussion to be had about a girl with bad behavior. I think the general consensus is that she shouldn't have dressed as she had, since she had signed a statement saying she would not do so. As for the police, one or two members seem to think they went too far, but I haven't seen any real argument that they weren't doing what was right, assuming she was as argumentative as it would appear. So, the discussion has evolved into something not only more intriguing, but with more depth to it.

ngdawg 05-17-2008 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RetroGunslinger
As much as I didn't want to lead the discussion down such a path, I don't think there's any more enlightening discussion to be had about a girl with bad behavior. I think the general consensus is that she shouldn't have dressed as she had, since she had signed a statement saying she would not do so. As for the police, one or two members seem to think they went too far, but I haven't seen any real argument that they weren't doing what was right, assuming she was as argumentative as it would appear. So, the discussion has evolved into something not only more intriguing, but with more depth to it.

Retro, when I read your first statement, I nodded and thought, btdt. Having worked in a middle school that was probably equally divided down racial lines, it's not a stretch to think she went, as someone called it, "Springeresque".
It's a related issue that someone brought up-where were her parents in all this? As "mom" (as they called me) to about 40 black and hispanic kids, mostly girls, I can tell you from THIS anecdotal experience-the parents weren't bothered or weren't around. There's no way any mom involved with her kid would allow her to leave the house with only 25% of her body covered, in clear violation of school rules. And, further anecdotal evidence about the thought of why she ended up in handcuffs shows the same underlying issue.
These kids act out out of anger, out of lack of being taught why there are rules in the first place and out of a need to want to be noticed because they aren't noticed at home. Is it racial? Statistics say yes. Anecdotal evidence from those of us who worked with these kids says yes. Is it cultural? No, as the attitudes, behaviors and outcomes apply to anyone who comes from a background that would, for lack of a better word, "nurture" the behavior. It is an unfortunate happenstance that, too often, more than not, the kid in the skanky dress being led off in handcuffs....is black.
Thinking as such before seeing anything doesn't make one a racist or a bigot if their experience with similar behavior has been with someone of the same race as the subject, anymore than reading of a kid being accepted to Oxford at 16 and thinking he's white or Korean would. Or would it....

Catdaddy33 05-20-2008 09:05 AM

Last week my daughter attended an 8th grade end of the year dance, and one of the girls that was dropped off had on an outfit that I would consider too risque for an 8th grader, it wasnt overly obscene but on the short side. I thought how could parents let her out of the house in that and then I saw how the mother was dressed and realized where that came from. The parents were also taking pictures of her and her date "cuddling" in front of the school, rather unnerving for middle schoolers...

When my wife was in high school she would leave the house in one outfit and change on the way to school into the "non-parental approved" clothing, so there is always that avenue...

World's King 05-20-2008 09:19 AM

Didn't I see her is a 2-Pac video... ?


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