How would TFPers have handled this v. road rage incident.

[Borla]

This evening, my wife and I were on our way home from a town about 10-12 miles from the small town we live in. The route is a straight shot down a two-lane state highway, with few cross roads, and not a lot of traffic at night. I am going about 60 (55 limit) and I catch up to a line of about four cars that are doing maybe 5-10 mph under the limit. Just as I roll up on them, we come to an intersection where another state highway is, and two cars (the one directly in front of me, and also the second car in the group) pull into the middle (turn) lane and make a left. From there it is maybe 4 miles to my town, and there is no traffic in sight, so I pull into the oncoming lane and pass the minivan in front of me that seems more than happy to go 50mph.

As I pass him, he starts flipping his brights on and off like crazy at me. I look down, nope, my brights aren't on, so I wasn't blinding him. I had only been behind him very briefly, since there had been a car between us until just a few hundred yards back, so I know he couldn't have realistically thought I was tailgating him before I passed him. But, the car in front of him was going slow too, so within 1/4 mile or so I passed that one too, and was on my merry way. 1/2 mile or a mile later, I notice in my rearview mirror that he has passed that car too, and is again directly behind me, albeit several hundred yards. Again, he is flashing his brights. As I approach the town I live in, I decided to turn a few streets before mine, just because something told me he might follow me into town if he saw where I turned. Sure enough, he turns. I turn again, twice, and he turns behind me.

By now I'm sure it's not random. I'm irritated, but not angry. I have no idea why he is following me, but I'm only about three blocks from my house, and don't want him to know where I live. The last thing I feel like dealing with is vandalism or some idiot trying to pick a fight over something retarded. So I whip a u-turn to see how serious he is about bugging me. He veers into my lane like he wants to hit me head on, and starts screaming out his window. Now I'm mad.

I whip back around a couple blocks later and decide that I'm going to call and report him, and follow him. He heads out of town, and I follow him from maybe 15-20 car lengths. I assume he realizes he can't outrun me in a beat up 10 year old Nissan Quest, so he starts driving EXTREMELY slow, like 25-30mph on open rural highways. That's ok, I'm on the phone with the po-po, and he's just giving them time to catch up. I follow him 5-6 miles, and the dispatch asks if I want to pull over, let a deputy catch up to me, and write up a complaint, because we are getting near the county line. I say "no, I would rather they pull him over first, then I'll sign a complaint". She asks me if I am willing to do that, and I say I am.

Finally the county sheriff rolls up on me (while I'm still on the phone with dispatch) just after we crossed the county line, and are entering the outskirts of the next town. The guy jumps on the interstate at the edge of town, I follow, and the sherriff's deputy follows me. Next thing I know, another LEO rolls up, this one from the city that we are just on the edge of (interstate cuts through the edge of town). The city cop gets behind the minivan, and now the sherriff's deputy zooms around me. One gets beside the guy, and one gets behind him, and the city cop lights him up.

The guy pulls over on the interstate. The two cop cars pull over behind him, and I pull over behind them. I get out of my car, and walk up to the passenger side of the sherriff's car (the city cop was up at the van already), where two deputies were waiting. I explain to one of them the whole story, as the other one goes up and searches the guy's van. The deputy tells me I did the right thing by not letting the guy follow me home, and by not trying to retaliate to him. Pretty soon I'm laughing and joking with the two county cops (while the city cop was still up at the van), talking about people we know, where we grew up, etc. (Basically I'm selling myself as a credible witness and a decent guy. )

After a couple of minutes the city cop comes back and asks me what happened. I tell him the same story. He goes "That is basically exactly what this guy is saying, except he says you were tailgating him before you passed him, and he thought you stepped on it too hard and were racing by him too fast when you passed him." I'm thinking "ok, I guess I shouldn't speed up as I pass you while you go 10 under, eh? ", but I just explain to the cop that the tailgating part is false because I wasn't even behind him but for literally 3-5 seconds before I passed him, that another car had been between us but pulled into the turn lane. The cop says the guy thought I was some punk kid, and he was going to follow me home and tell my parents about how I was driving.

At this point I have all three cops standing alongside the interstate with me, and even the other guy has basically corroborated my story, even to the part about swerving into my lane like he was going to hit me head on. I tell the cops that my main issues are 1) I didn't do anything to this guy to warrant him flashing brights and following me home. I tell them that I know when I do something annoying like leaving my brights on, tailgating, or passing too close, and I did none of those things. I tell them that if I had, I would've just stepped on it, lost him, and went on my way. 2) This guy swerved straight at me head on, after following me home, while my wife was in the car. Not cool, and could classify as reckless driving. And 3) I'm stubborn. They laughed at that one.

The cops tell me that it sounds like one big misunderstanding, the guy is sorry for all the trouble he caused, and that they've read him the riot act for getting himself involved in something that could've ended very badly. The cops tell me that, at this point it's up to me if I want to file a formal complaint and make them write it all up, or if we all just leave and let it be. I tell them that if he wants to come back and apologize to me face to face, I won't file a complaint. So they go ask him to get out and come back to where we are standing, and he does. He's probably 55-60, maybe 5'6" or 5'7", and half my size. He says that he is sorry for everything, that when I stepped on it to go around him he was mad and thought I was some punk kid, and he decided he was going to teach me a lesson. The cop says to the guy "Look at him (referring to me), it's a good thing he's a nice guy. Think of what could've happened." (Basically I could've pounded him into old man hamburger, or could've had a gun or something.) So the guy shakes my hand, says he's sorry again, and I tell him apology accepted. The cops ask if we are good, and I say we are. They make a few other comments to me about saying I did the right thing not to let him follow me home, and by calling them.

I walk back to my car, get in, and tell my wife what happened. She starts laughing and says "when the guy came walking back, I just KNEW you were making him apologize to you" . She got a kick out of the whole thing, I mainly think she was happy that I've outgrown my days of trying to exercise vigilante justice on road ragers. I have to admit though, that while we were following him, I was seriously hoping he had a warrant out or had drugs in the car, just so I could have the pleasure of sending him to jail. But, since he was decent enough to apologize (and actually sounded sincere/respectful about it), I guess all's well that ends well.

Anyway, that's my excitement for the night. Unfortunately I don't think it'll make the next episode of COPS.





Cliffnotes - Road rager tries to follow me home. I pull a u-turn, get behind him, and call the po-po. He gets pulled over and faces the choice of having a reckless driving complaint filed against him, or coming over to apologize to me. No one goes home in a body bag.

[blahblah454]

Well I saw your post, decided it was too long. Then saw the cliffnotes version, got sucked in and ended up reading the whole thing!!
I think thats pretty funny that you made him apologize. I hate having to apologize! But the fact that he was following you home, even if you did blow by him at 120 (just kidding!), is a little extreme.

Go vigilante justice!

[TotalMILF]

LOL, cliffnotes hehe. I'm glad you didn't just let him get away with that BS. You handled that situation perfectly!

[Fotzlid]

good job.
you handled that well. better than i would have.

[inBOIL]

I wouldn't have followed him, that could have made him angrier and put yourself or other drivers at risk. Once it became evident that he was following, I would have driven straight to the police station and parked right out front.

[ratbastid]

I don't think I would have had the foresight to call the cops. I probably would have just romped on it and lost the guy. Your way's better--now he knows not to go trying to teach punk kids lessons.

[analog]

I'd have done the same thing as you. Attempting to follow me home would be an instant "now you're in for some shit" territory, let alone the reckless driving heading directly towards me. In fact, I'm sure I would have written up a formal complaint, and spent my time apologizing to the officers for making them do paperwork. That's just plain dangerous.

EDIT: and if I had a wife or girlfriend in the car, I would not have been pleasant or even-mannered about it. I get very protective about family and such.

[The_Jazz]

Well done. You handled it well.

[jewels]

You handled it calmly and rationally.

Originally Posted by Borla

at this point it's up to me if I want to file a formal complaint and make them write it all up, or if we all just leave and let it be.

This part would've ticked me off and I probably would have pressed charges. (I was once attacked on the job and wanted to press charges against the offender. I was told the same thing by a Sheriff's Deputy. Cops trying to avoid the paperwork. Sheesh. True justice.)

[BadNick]

I enjoyed reading the long version and I thank you for your good example. I'll keep you in mind in case this kind of thing ever happens to me ...since my own gut reaction would have been different and likely to have just caused more trouble.

[Craven Morehead]

Good job, let the authorities handle it.

[analog]

Originally Posted by jewels443

(I was once attacked on the job and wanted to press charges against the offender. I was told the same thing the a Sheriff's Deputy. Cops trying to avoid the paperwork. Sheesh. True justice.)

Just because they made it clear that it's a pain to do the paperwork doesn't mean they aren't in support of your best interests.

It's a massive pain in my ass EVERY time I have to take some homeless person who is either drunk, on drugs, or both, to the hospital for what is readily admitted to be a bogus reason (usually they pretend to be suicidal) because they are, in actuality, just hungry and want a warm bed for the night.

I will tell them straight up that if they're not serious about their complaint, it's a serious waste of resources to be taken in by ambulance just for that, and that there is assistance available to them. I have also told one on a call or two that everything involved just to taxi them to the hospital amounted to a lot of paperwork and a lot of wasted time and money.

Does that mean I begrudge them a meal and a warm bed for a night? Does it mean I don't actually care that they're homeless, have nothing, and are often the victim of a mental illness which is the main reason they're homeless to begin with?

Nope. Despite the bullshit, the knowledge that it's a giant waste of time and money and annoyingly tedious work for me, and knowing that I'll likely do the same again for that same person countless more times, I still care.

The bottom line is, pretty much everyone on the entire planet bitches about the tedious and annoying minutiae of their jobs, and often times to the people who they're dealing with and causing that annoying, tedious work. That doesn't mean they don't care, and it doesn't mean they aren't sympathetic to your plight. And no, you can't expect people who care to actually show it all the time.

To you, it may not be pointless.... but they do their job every day they're on shift, and you do not. They have a pretty good grip on what is and isn't truly pointless.

Shit, I LOVE what I do, and I am very caring and compassionate to people's issues, but I am also realistic and can be heard to mention what a pain it is to fill out pointless paperwork. Just something to think about.

[jewels]

Originally Posted by analog

To you, it may not be pointless.... but they do their job every day they're on shift, and you do not. They have a pretty good grip on what is and isn't truly pointless.

Sorry for the temporary hijack.

I totally hear you and don't doubt that most feel that way. I work alongside these Deputies on a daily basis. We're friendly at this workplace, but this (yes it was just one) particular guy was about to go off shift. The next deputy that came on was apprised of what had occurred and was more than willing to take the complaint. It just really irked me and may have tainted my view of the OP's situation.

[Plan9]

You should have called him a poopy-face.

...

Nah, seriously... the cool is strong in this one.

[Ourcrazymodern?]

You rocked, Borla.

So did the cops.

[dirtyrascal7]

I doubt I would have been willing to put that much effort into the situation... I probably would have just gassed it and left him in my dust.

Actually, now that I think about it... that's exactly what I did a few weeks ago in a similar situation. Some asshole pulled out onto a 2-lane state highway about 20 feet in front of me while I was going 45ish... didn't stop at his stop-sign or anything, so I had no choice but to swerve into the left lane and pass him... and then swerve back immediately b/c of oncoming traffic... he was lucky that I didn't stick my car right up his ass.

So then he comes flying up on my tail, flashing his lights and tailgating within a few inches of my bumper. I was stuck behind another car so I couldn't speed away immediately... so I break-checked him a couple times, which only seemed to piss him off further. Then the car ahead of me turned off and I just blew him away.

[Leto]

Originally Posted by ratbastid

I don't think I would have had the foresight to call the cops. I probably would have just romped on it and lost the guy. Your way's better--now he knows not to go trying to teach punk kids lessons.

i wouldn't have known the cop's phone number. Other than 911, which is only for emergencies. Now I'm going to look it up in the yellow pages, and store in the cell phone.

[Strange Famous]

I have a tyre iron under my passenger seat for situations like this... just in case.

I get road rage pretty bad to be honest. 5 or 6 times in the last year I've wound up jumping out my car and screaming at people, I even called one 50 year old guy a cunt right in front of his two kids (which Im not proud of)

In the US I might take a different tack though, on account of half the people being tooled up... I dont want to get shot.

[Borla]

Thanks all for the replies. A few years ago, when I was a bit younger, and a lot dumber, I probably would've either 1) done my best to run this guy off the road, making my wife furious with me in the process; or 2) when he swerved over to my side of the road (and he basically stopped as he did this) I probably would've gotten out and gotten into a physical altercation with him. Either way, bad stuff.

And I was too stubborn to just leave it be. *hide*

[Willravel]

I can't think of a more mature and appropriate response.

[Jinn]

good job.
you handled that well. better than i would have.]

Agree completely. I would've done something stupid, and my girlfriend would've been yelling at me rather than laughing with me. You won twice over.

[inBOIL]

Originally Posted by Leto

i wouldn't have known the cop's phone number. Other than 911, which is only for emergencies. Now I'm going to look it up in the yellow pages, and store in the cell phone.

This kind of situation is an emergency. Someone is driving dangerously, putting everyone on the road at risk. Calling 911 would be appropriate.

Originally Posted by Strange Famous

I have a tyre iron under my passenger seat for situations like this... just in case.

I get road rage pretty bad to be honest. 5 or 6 times in the last year I've wound up jumping out my car and screaming at people, I even called one 50 year old guy a cunt right in front of his two kids (which Im not proud of)

In the US I might take a different tack though, on account of half the people being tooled up... I dont want to get shot.

What's going to happen when you start screaming at someone who turns out to be bigger and meaner than you?

[Willravel]

Originally Posted by inBOIL

What's going to happen when you start screaming at someone who turns out to be bigger and meaner than you?

He's in Ipswitch, so he probably won't run in to me.

[angelica]

If someone was following me, I would have called 911 to tell them what was happening, and also tell them to notify the nearest police station that I was on my way with a stalker behind me. No way would I have driven around with a nut job following me.

[analog]

Originally Posted by Strange Famous

In the US I might take a different tack though, on account of half the people being tooled up... I dont want to get shot.

So you're saying that knowing people can defend themselves against a crazed person exhibiting assaulting behavior is a reason to actually behave yourself? Yeah, most pro-gun people feel the same way. Thanks for proving their argument.

[MSD]

I'm not that mature. I'd floor it away from someone, and if they can catch up with me, a quick lane change and jam on the brakes works wonders to make people overshoot you, especially if there's a known speed trap area ahead.

Originally Posted by Strange Famous

I have a tyre iron under my passenger seat for situations like this... just in case.

I get road rage pretty bad to be honest. 5 or 6 times in the last year I've wound up jumping out my car and screaming at people, I even called one 50 year old guy a cunt right in front of his two kids (which Im not proud of)

In the US I might take a different tack though, on account of half the people being tooled up... I dont want to get shot.

I don't know your driving, but all I can say is that my friend who carries a tire iron under the seat is one of the worst drivers I know (It's all hearsay now, he was pretty bad the time I rode in his car.)