The End....of Weekly World News. - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

robot_parade · 07-24-2007, 03:31 PM

Apparently Weekly World News is shutting it's doors. I'm very saddened, despite the fact that I only occasionally purchased the fine publication in question.

http://www.mediabistro.com/fishbowln...tion_63587.asp

Quote:

Unfortunately, the tabloid's circulation sharply declined over the past five years and there's also speculaton that publisher American Media's financial troubles might have something to do with it.

I guess it just couldn't compete with the internets. Sigh.

ngdawg · 07-24-2007, 03:34 PM

I'd have thought it would be gone long ago....those headlines were just too out there. My favorite, though, from many years back(pretty sure it was WWN) "Blind man regains sight, divorces ugly wife."

ShaniFaye · 07-24-2007, 03:47 PM

oh man....I have loved WWN since I was, gosh I dont even remember how young I was when I started reading it lol

this weeks story hits home considering the problem Im having being attacked inside my own home, especially when Im asleep, by mosquitoes

Quote:

The Most Irresistible Woman On Earth — to Mosquitoes!
By Terrance Orrance
SOUTHAMPTON, N.Y. — As dusk settles on a secluded Long Island beach and bartenders and waiters set up for another of the high-profile benefit parties that dot the summer social calendar, a dumpy, five-foot-four woman in a sleeveless, black tank top and short, black skirt is the first guest to arrive. Her name is Denise Frank and she is the Hamptons’ newest celebrity.

“I wouldn’t dream of giving a beach party without Denise!” said Muffy Lawrence, one of the event’s organizers. “She’s more effective than DEET or citronella.”

Frank, twenty, is a lightning rod for mosquitoes. “They love me!” she said. “They prefer me to anyone else.”

Frank discovered her attractiveness to mosquitoes as a toddler when she was playing in a sandbox and came home covered with red welts, even though none of her friends got bitten. For years, Frank tried to avoid mosquitoes.

“I stayed away from stagnant ponds, puddles, tropical environments and beaches — particularly at dawn and dusk,” Frank said. “But after my high school prom, everyone went to the beach and the party went on till sunrise.”

At dawn the mosquitoes came out, and Frank, once again, was bitten. Everyone else escaped.

With no college plans, Frank was looking for something to do when one of her friends jokingly suggested she hire herself out for al fresco parties. Her first gig brought her $100 for a night’s work. Now she has formed a business called Mosquito Gal and charges $150 an hour.

“All I do is go to parties and wait for the mosquitoes to bite,” she said. “Then I go home and take antihistamines to reduce the itch and swelling so I can get ready for the next party.”

Even with antihistamines, Frank can only do three parties a week — far less than the demand for her services.

“I’m hiring,” she said. “I’m looking for a couple of people who are attractive to mosquitoes. They’ll have to pass an employment test, which is to visit a swamp with me and see what happens. If mosquitoes go for them, they’re hired.”

Though Mosquito Gal is an equal-opportunity employer, Frank said that she would prefer to hire women because they can wear skimpy, open clothing to parties and expose more skin.

After the summer social season winds down, Frank is planning a vacation. “I’m going to the Yukon,” she said.

However, after buying her non-refundable tickets, Frank learned from one of her clients that the Yukon has large, biting flies.

“If they’re drawn to me,” Frank said philosophically, “maybe I’ll open a branch office.”

http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/

kurty[B] · 07-25-2007, 07:23 AM

Now what am I going to read while waiting in line at the grocery store?!?!?! I don't want to read anything about TomJolinaKrad. Might have to start reading labels on gum wrappers.

flat5 · 07-25-2007, 12:24 PM

Interesting story, ShaniFaye.

hagatha · 07-25-2007, 03:43 PM

Wasn't it Weekly World News that broke the story about Bat Boy?

sadistikdreams · 07-25-2007, 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hagatha

Wasn't it Weekly World News that broke the story about Bat Boy?

Yes.

I guess he can finally get a break now.

rockzilla · 07-27-2007, 03:29 PM

Now who's going to alert us the next time the Chinese plan to all jump at the same time in an insidious effort to knock the earth out of orbit? If it weren't for the WWN suggesting a simultaneous American counter-jump, we would be drifting past Pluto right now.

07-24-2007, 03:34 PM	#2 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	I'd have thought it would be gone long ago....those headlines were just too out there. My favorite, though, from many years back(pretty sure it was WWN) "Blind man regains sight, divorces ugly wife." __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

07-25-2007, 03:43 PM	#6 (permalink)
hagatha Addict	Wasn't it Weekly World News that broke the story about Bat Boy? __________________ Thats the last time I trust the strangest people I ever met....H. Simpson

07-25-2007, 07:23 AM	#4 (permalink)
kurty[B] Sauce Puppet	Now what am I going to read while waiting in line at the grocery store?!?!?! I don't want to read anything about TomJolinaKrad. Might have to start reading labels on gum wrappers.

07-25-2007, 12:24 PM	#5 (permalink)
flat5 Very Insignificant Pawn Location: Amsterdam, NL	Interesting story, ShaniFaye.

07-27-2007, 03:29 PM	#8 (permalink)
rockzilla Junkie Location: The Kitchen	Now who's going to alert us the next time the Chinese plan to all jump at the same time in an insidious effort to knock the earth out of orbit? If it weren't for the WWN suggesting a simultaneous American counter-jump, we would be drifting past Pluto right now.