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Xazy 06-01-2007 04:17 AM

Genocide Vs Coke
 
Quote:

Article
Denying Genocide in Darfur -- and Americans Their Coca-Cola

By Dana Milbank
Thursday, May 31, 2007; A02

The Iraq war gave us Baghdad Bob, the Iraqi information minister who, while American troops patrolled nearby streets, held a defiant news conference to proclaim that there were no U.S. forces in the city.

Baghdad Bob, whose real name is Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, earned a place among the ranks of colorful propagandists such as Hanoi Hannah and Tokyo Rose. Now, the genocidal Sudanese government has an entry in this category. Let's call him Khartoum Karl.

Karl -- a.k.a. John Ukec Lueth Ukec, the Sudanese ambassador to Washington -- held a news conference at the National Press Club yesterday to respond to President Bush's new sanctions against his regime. In his hour-long presentation, he described a situation in his land that bore no relation to reality.

Genocide in the Darfur region? "The United States is the only country saying that what is happening in Darfur is a genocide," Ukec shouted, gesticulating wildly and perspiring from his bald crown. "I think this is a pretext."

Ah. So what about the more than 400,000 dead? "See how many people are dying in Darfur: None," he said.

And the 2 million displaced? "I am not a statistician."

Khartoum Karl went on to say that, all evidence to the contrary, his government does not support the murderous Janjaweed militia. "It cannot happen," he said, "so rule it out." As for the Sudanese regime itself: "We are the agents of peace, people like me, my colleagues who are in the central government of Sudan."

What's more, the good and peaceful leaders of Sudan were prepared to retaliate massively: They would cut off shipments of the emulsifier gum arabic, thereby depriving the world of cola.

"I want you to know that the gum arabic which runs all the soft drinks all over the world, including the United States, mainly 80 percent is imported from my country," the ambassador said after raising a bottle of Coca-Cola.

A reporter asked if Sudan was threatening to "stop the export of gum arabic and bring down the Western world."

"I can stop that gum arabic and all of us will have lost this," Khartoum Karl warned anew, beckoning to the Coke bottle. "But I don't want to go that way."

As diplomatic threats go, that one gets high points for creativity: Try to stop the killings in Darfur, and we'll take away your Coca-Cola.

But then, Ukec is a very creative man. While millions in Darfur go hungry, he suggested that the U.S. sanctions would limit "the sugar the Darfurians need seriously." He explained: "The people of Darfur, they need a lot of sugar and they are used to it."

The gems kept tumbling from his lips. "Sudan is the breadbasket of the world," he boasted, and it is setting up "the best democracy in the world." Further, "we have opened our arms to the rest of the world." All this genocide talk "is just a concocted idea." After all, "Darfur is a very small spot," he argued, and "we are not warmongers."

"We are just telling you the facts," he added.

Khartoum Karl paid about $600 for a small room at the press club and a spread of Coca-Cola products. A dozen reporters, and a similar number of Sudanese Embassy officials, watched the ambassador for an hour as he shouted into the microphone and delivered a circular and rambling complaint about the injustice of U.S. sanctions. His fingers, fists and arms flew through the air, exposing the flashy gold watch on his wrist.

Growing less lucid as the hour progressed, Ukec blamed a Darfur lobby "that has taken control of the Democratic Party," which in turn pressured Bush to take action against Sudan. "The Democrats do not want Bush to go through with the success he has made in Sudan," the ambassador reasoned.

Whenever he found himself in a rhetorical jam, which was frequently, Ukec had an all-purpose answer: Iraq. Justifying the killings in Darfur that he had just denied, he asked: "How many times have we seen on the TV civilians in Iraq have been killed? And they are said to be collateral. Why does it apply to United States and it doesn't apply to the army of Sudan?"

The ambassador's perspiration became more profuse as he answered questions about the killings. "It's Darfurians fighting among themselves," he ventured. "It's just you and your cousin fighting with you."

A reporter asked Ukec how he would describe the situation in Darfur. The ambassador compared it to the American West: "The farmers are being squeezed by the herders, just like you had here in the 18-something, when the cowboys were fighting . . . with the farmers over land for grazing."

Undoubtedly, Khartoum Karl is under a great deal of stress these days, and, toward the end, he revealed the personal nature of his complaint. "You are failing me in particular," he said. "The people of Sudan sent me here because they know I have good relationship with you guys. . . . And I come and I've been slammed with the sanctions."

It was, perhaps, the only honest thing the ambassador said all day. "I am the man with the toughest job in the world," he asserted. With Baghdad Bob out of business, that just may be the truth.
Interesting strategy, I am wondering if we should start calling our politicians now and demand sanctions to be stopped. After all we need our coke!

Seriously though it is interesting to see what people will do when cornered, and I guess this is their only real means to strike back.

Halx 06-01-2007 04:29 AM

I'm sure coca cola has enough political power to prevent this. Kinda disgusting though, to be sure of such things.

QuasiMondo 06-01-2007 05:05 AM

I'm sure the American people would have no problem living without their Coca-Cola, but what politician listens to the people anymore? I'm sure the beverage industry will put a stop to this sanction nonsense right away!

Push-Pull 06-01-2007 05:55 AM

I'm more a Pepsi guy myself.....

Now if he had threatened to take away RUM and Coke, I'd be worried.

Bill O'Rights 06-01-2007 07:35 AM

No Coke!?!?

That's it! Send in the troops! Recall 'em from Iraq, Afghanistan, and wherever the hell else we have 'em scattered. We simply must protect our gum arabic supply from the clutches of this madman...at all costs.

If I'm left without my Coca-Cola...it ain't gonna be pretty.

pan6467 06-01-2007 07:46 AM

We now know what it takes to control the world Pinky.....

Gee Brain, liverwurst on pumpernickel????

No you pomposterous putz, GUM ARABIC......, Come Pinky we must be off to Sudan and offer to buy all their gum arabic..... so we can take over the world...... ahahahahahahaha

The_Jazz 06-01-2007 07:49 AM

Pan, you just made Diet Coke come out of my nose... I haven't thought of Pinky & The Brain in YEARS.

Willravel 06-01-2007 08:14 AM

Sickening. Someone needs to stop this shit, and yesterday. Genocide is a crime under international law and as a signatory of the Geneva Conventions we are charged with the responsibility of stopping them, along with the other signators.

pan6467 06-01-2007 09:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Jazz
Pan, you just made Diet Coke come out of my nose... I haven't thought of Pinky & The Brain in YEARS.

I am to please :thumbsup:

MySexyAssJ 06-01-2007 09:21 AM

Cola is my Coffee, I'd be very sad to see this happen if it did. I think other people would be saddened too, as I would be a complete bitch :eek:

Redlemon 06-01-2007 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Push-Pull
I'm more a Pepsi guy myself.....

Gum arabic is in just about every soda made from a concentrate, not just Coca-Cola. Checking Wiki, we see "Gum arabic reduces the surface tension of liquids, which leads to increased fizzing in carbonated beverages." So perhaps we can still have our sodas, but they'll be a bit flat.

Even more interesting and on topic, Wiki also says:
Quote:

Oddly, the connection between Sudan and Osama bin Laden brought the otherwise innocuous gum to public consciousness in 2001, as an urban legend arose that bin Laden owned a significant fraction of the gum arabic production in Sudan, and that therefore one should boycott products using it.[1] As a result, some food producers, for instance Snapple, renamed the ingredient to "gum acacia" on their labels.

This story took on somewhat significant proportions, mostly thanks to an article in The Daily Telegraph a few days after the September 11 attacks, which echoed this claim. Eventually the State Department issued a release stating that while Osama bin Laden had once had considerable holdings in Sudanese gum arabic production, he divested himself of these when he was expelled from Sudan in 1996.
...but I don't have the time nor inclination to fact-check that.

snowy 06-01-2007 09:59 AM

Gum arabic is used as a food additive in a lot of sodas, gums, gummy candies, and marshmallows.

NO MARSHMALLOWS?! How can I have a s'more without a marshmallow?! I think that is the more important question. Perhaps we can take gum arabic out of our sodas, but I'm pretty sure marshmallows would be worthless without it.

That said, I think the sanctions on the Sudan are a step in the right direction. Certainly, sanctions have not really helped us in the past, but I see it as a sign that our current administration is aware that there is a problem in the Sudan and it needs to be dealt with. I only hope that they don't stop with sanctions and keep going until a lasting peace is reached in Darfur, and the genocide is stopped.

The_Jazz 06-01-2007 10:06 AM

Careful or the new anti-war slogan will be "No Blood for Gum Arabic!" Sort of rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?

MexicanOnABike 06-01-2007 10:50 AM

i'm cutting down on my colas recently. Pepsi is too expensive, and the alternatives taste pretty bad. I'm sorta getting used to PC cola. but it's not the same. Water and orange juice for now!

pan6467 06-01-2007 11:00 AM

There we were, stuck in the crossfire, on the verge of a win all or lose all attack. We knew we had to save the world from these evil geniuses, who would horde all the gum arabic.

Then suddenly, we get a call from home and a funky, nerdy scientist from MIT had developed a synthetic and it was cheaper....... of course it contained the sap of the elusive Oak....... Onward to Canada.... We must invade before they horde all the sap.

seretogis 06-01-2007 11:01 AM

Completely unrelated, but I stopped drinking cola entirely six months ago for caffeine-glaring reasons.

As far as Sudan goes, clearly they are threatening our way of life by suggesting that they will take away our Coca-Cola, and must be pre-emptively invaded.

snowy 06-01-2007 11:11 AM

Generally, those I know and I agree: we would, in all seriousness, sacrifice our Coca-Cola, our gummy candy, and our chewing gum if it meant an end to the genocide in Darfur.

Guess I'll be sticking with my organic fair trade coffee regimen for caffeination.

EDIT: More research shows that when questioned by the Washington Post, Coca-Cola stated that they do not buy any gum arabic from Sudan and haven't for some time. Pepsi, by contrast, refused to comment. So I guess Coke is actually the safer bet.

MySexyAssJ 06-01-2007 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onesnowyowl
Generally, those I know and I agree: we would, in all seriousness, sacrifice our Coca-Cola, our gummy candy, and our chewing gum if it meant an end to the genocide in Darfur.
Very true. Thank you for opening up my mind. :)

Willravel 06-01-2007 11:57 AM

Seltzer water and cranberry juice works just fine for me. If you need caffeine, then maybe brew some guarana and tea to include in the seltzer/juice mix. You'll love longer.

MySexyAssJ 06-01-2007 01:07 PM

Quote:

Seltzer water and cranberry juice works just fine for me. If you need caffeine, then maybe brew some guarana and tea to include in the seltzer/juice mix. You'll love longer.
Nice! I think I may try that.

Bill O'Rights 06-01-2007 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willravel
Seltzer water and cranberry juice works just fine for me. If you need caffeine, then maybe brew some guarana and tea to include in the seltzer/juice mix. You'll love longer.

So...what...like a natural Viagra?

Willravel 06-01-2007 03:07 PM

Heh....I'll leave that typo. I meant live, of course, but the love thing makes a much better sales pitch.

MySexyAssJ 06-01-2007 03:20 PM

hahaha, I figured live is what you meant to say. But yeah, I'm still not mad about the love part either. :p

FoolThemAll 06-01-2007 05:45 PM

That's an easy choice. They both leave an equally bad taste in my mouth.

(Well, not really, but still... cola sucks. As do most carbonated beverages. Never got the appeal.)

kevpdx 06-01-2007 07:46 PM

Hopefully this mean man won't take my Dew :(.

AJ13 06-04-2007 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QuasiMondo
I'm sure the American people would have no problem living without their Coca-Cola

LIAR!

What would I mix my Crown Royale with? Nothing, that's what! I needs that stuff to live!

Estevez 06-04-2007 04:26 PM

Not smart Sudan. Pissing off the U.S. government is one thing, but major corporations? That's just suicide. I expect massive assassinations and a puppet government installed within the month.

AJ13 06-04-2007 04:33 PM

^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^

True! I hear Wal-Mart takes hit contracts.

Estevez 06-04-2007 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AJ13
^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^

True! I hear Wal-Mart takes hit contracts.

They use illegal immigrants, so it is never traced back to them. Plus, they work at discount prices.


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