Your Funeral
 

I suppose some may think this is a morbid topic, but oh well :p

How do you envision your own funeral? Is there anyone in particular, at the moment, that you'd like to give your eulogy? Any particular music you would like to be played? Any other thoughts you may have?

Or maybe you just don't care?

This isn't exactly something I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about, but I do have a couple specific thoughts regarding how I would like people to spend their time remembering me.

In general, I don't want my funeral to be an overly sad occasion. If I could plan my own funeral, I would forgo the standard funeral procedure in favor of something a bit different. Aside for the basics, I don't want too much talking. Rather, I would like people to sit back and be immersed in a live performance of Gabriel Fauré's Requiem in D minor, Op. 48 (chamber orchestra version). From the moment I performed it during my sophomore year of college, it has been my favorite requiem and inspires the very emotions I would like people to have as they gather for my funeral. Fauré put it quite well when he said, "It has been said that my Requiem does not express the fear of death and someone has called it a lullaby of death. But it is thus that I see death: as a happy deliverance [...] rather than as a painful experience." That is why, as people gather in remembrance of me and to say goodbye, I would like it to be framed by this music. Other than that, I don't really care. I only wish I could be there to hear it too :p

So what about you? Is there anything in particular you want for your own funeral?

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In case anyone's interested, I made it so you can download the entire requiem. It's approx. 80MB of 320kbps mp3.

http://rapidshare.com/files/27763109...1893_.zip.html
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=V1IWWRW9
http://download.yousendit.com/F398C40501E59DB6

I wish I could hear all the nice things said about me at my funeral.

I want it to be the silliest, most disrespectful spectacle ever, ever. People who know me know I'm silly and serious stuff bores me.

I want to have an open casket and I want to be wearing clown paint. I want my kids and grandkids to honk my big red nose. During the procession, I want Bing Crosby's "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" to be blasted, because I love Christmas. I've already recorded my eulogy to myself, which some of you may be lucky enough to see some day. If I happen to have a lot of money to burn when I die, I'd like to be shot into space, but otherwise, I'm being planted right under an oak tree.

I only want two things done at mine, and that's have two songs played. The first is A Tout a Le Monde by Megadeth, or at least just these words (with the translation):
À tout le monde [To all the world]
À tout mes amis [To all my friends]
Je vous aime [I love you]
Je dois partir [I have to leave]

Followed by Monty Python's Always look on the Bright Side of Life. And dammit, I expect people to whistle! :D

Cremation, take my ashes to where my grandmother and uncle are, everyone go eat and go home.

My coffin will be in the back of my PT, followed by my PGR buds and PT car club friends. I will be laid out in my Dale, Jr. red shirt, jeans and my leather jacket and chaps and a cig in my left hand. No flowers, please, except red roses if necessary.

When my (ex) brother-in-law died last summer, his exwife, sons and girlfriend decided no fancy suit, etc. Instead, he was in his familiar black tshirt and jeans with his sunglasses sticking out the shirt pocket. His beat-up favorite jacket was on a hook nearby. Some oldsters were aghast, but we all thought it was great.
My sister-in-law did more or less the same with her father. He'd been living with her and to summon anyone, squeezed a joke chicken. They had the chicken right next to him and most of us gave it a squeeze or two. His elderly sisters were not amused.

While I'm doing my best to wear everything out, take any parts that are of use as transplant and fry the rest. My wife and daughter have instructions to toss my ashes somewhere pretty. I'm fond of alpine lakes, surprise me.

As my dad's instructions are to me, I gave the same instructions to my parents.

Pile up a bunch of wooden crates, put me on, light it up (as in we don't care what happens to our bodies). Use all the insurance money on throwing a huge kegger for all of our friends.

You know what? When my grandfather died, people literally packed the cathedral in our city. It was standing room only in the largest church in town (aside from the Mormon Temple). Everyone I talked to had some story about how my grandfather had met them at a time when they really needed something--you know, their business was on the verge of failing, when my grandfather met them and liked them and believed in them, and gave them some crucial piece of business or invested a couple hundred dollars, and they were able to buy that piece of equipment they needed, and now they're the biggest so-and-so in the industry and it's all because of him. There were ALL these stories from complete and total strangers talking about how my grandfather had made a difference in their lives. That's how I want my funeral to be.

I plan to live forever :)

I want a funeral pyre, lay me out and light me up so I go out in a blaze of glory.

Then I want people to eat and laugh and celebrate my life instead of mourn my death. Remember what I taught them and what I did for them and be glad they knew me instead of crying that im gone.

Since I'm pretty sure funeral pyres are illegal, I want to be creamated and till my ashes in the garden so I can help the tomatoes grow. Oh, and have a big party and laugh and drink in my memory.

I know pyres are illegal in the UK, but in the US? I dunno.

drop me in a ditch, ocean, side of the road; funerals are to damn expensive, i don't need $20,000 spent on my body once I'm already dead, my family can get a nice new car or something.

leaving my body to science therefore no funeral and no expense for the family. Maybe my mates can go to the pub and have a few drinks to celebrate my life. Thats it.

I want one of those dracula shaped coffins lined in a green silk like fabric and I want to be buried wearing dark green flannel jammies and my penguin house shoes, no jewelry and my hair in french braid if its long enough and by god someone had better leave my glasses on (god I've put too much though into this) and all the pall bearers have to be in battle kilts, cecause its only fitting Im put in my final resting place surrounded by men in kilts

At my service I want Fly to the Angels by Slaughter and Cry No More by Arcade played...I want my friends to remember the good times, the stupid shit I did that made them laugh, the special things I did (if there are any) that I'll be remembered for and then at the cemetery I want pipers playing Amazing Grace as I'm carried to the graveside.

Afterwards I want all my friends to have a party and to have just one person get drunk enuff to forget and holler out "Shannon, take a picture of me!!" (that makes more sense if you know that in my circles I'm known as the person who records all the stupid shit on camera)

Assuming that Dave is still living....I also need someone to take care of him for me on that day...he wont be handling it well.

Mein Last Desire...
 

My funeral ritual will go as follows:


All I ask as my final request as I depart from the land of the living would be to completely and thoroughly wrap naked body in seaweed - twice, then subsequently soak my remains in formaldehyde for about 14 hours. Afterwards, remove my cadaver from the formaldehyde solution, allow a 4-hour drying period on atop of a relatively-high mountain, whilst flinging heaps of ground pepper at my stiff, standing corpse. The next procession would be to roll my body through a field of dandelions in the plains of the midwest (never been:D) after a light spring rain shower has washed upon the land.
Finally, after my body has been retrieved and properly mummifed as per my above instructions, would I embark upon my last dying wish to be flown to the Great Barrier Reef surrounding the small continent of Australia, so that my body could be integrated among all the marine life, thereby returning me to where I sprung forth from. The last ceremony would consist of my mummified seaweed-laden coprse being set afire at the signal of sunset, then magnificently flung into the ocean by manner of a hand-built trebuchet, so that my flaming body would streak amazingly across the evening sky before I am inevitably extinguished by the calm warm-waters of the expanse.



In a sense, this will be my "FINAL BLAZE OF GLORY" before the "SUN SETS UPON THE HORIZON" that was my life.









-- Or... I could save $38,000 and be left to feed upon by the wolves.

Either way is fine.

T-shirt, jeans and my shades. Give me the minimum that the law requires for disposing of a body, play Pink Floyd's [Dark Side of the Moon and then while everone is around, have a cookout or Thanksgiving type meal depending on weather at the time.

Strap me to a horse, and as it goes over the ridge, have a little blond boy yell "Shane! Shane!" as the credit roll.



Organs will be donated, if possible. Had that conversation again with the wife last night.

There's a cemetary right by our house that I really like. There's some history there, and lots of pretty cool monuments. I like the idea of be buried near one of the trees there, but I haven't bought a plot or anything.

With all the traveling I do (I'm at O'Hare now, but it looks like I'm staying here with the weather), I'm much more likely to be incinerated in a plane crash. So in a few years, if anyone's looking for creepy things on the web, remember this thread.

Cremate me and dump the lot in the ocean.

If there is a ceremony, all I ask is for Rev. Maynard James Keenan to perform it.

I'm not having a funeral as I don't intend to die.

My fantasy would be like this painting by my dad called "Attila's Burial":
http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g2...EMETESEMLT.jpg

In reality, I don't care about my dead body, but it would be nice to have friends and family share some of their nice memories of me. When I've been at funerals where that was done for somebody I knew, it was very nice.

Anywhere but in a stale, sanitized funeral home.

Mostly I want there to be good food and drink available in an informal setting.

Oh i want mine to have lots of banjo music played by guys that are missing teeth barefoot and wearing straw hats and overalls. Lots of sheep scattered around just roaming about. Hopefully in some huge building. Not a chruch though. With tons of food being served. And waiters bringing in fresh sod served on fancy silver dishes for the sheep to munch on. With everyone drinking fresh coffee while someone gives a speech about how i will be creamated and have my ashes scattered in a coffee packageing factory.

I want to have any organs still of use to be donated to whoever needs it. I have no desire to be buried or have any real ceremony of sorts either.

The only thing I really would find nice to know would be that I was remembered once in a while by those closest to me, and not in a bad way :)

If I do have a funeral, I want them to play the 'Dude I totally miss you' song from the Tenacious D movie though. hehe

Make everything cheap so as to ensure that there will be an open bar. I'm already saving for my "open-bar funeral fund."

There's something about getting really trashed in good company that makes death seem like a minor concern.

And that's what I want.

I've thought a little about it. I certainly don't want it to be sad. That being said, I want a party not a funeral. I will be cremated, and my wife will keep the ashes. I would like a book with all my saying in it, and everyone I know that comes, to write something nice about me (if there is anything) for my wife and kids to remember me by. I want plenty of metal and punk music played, lots of beer, and a few strippers.

I hope I die while having sex, so she can say, he came and went at the same time.

my preferences have been made clear
-no event having anything to do with me
-burn my body and throw it away
-nothing more

I don't much care.

But if I was to care I want to be cremated and have my ashes sprinkled over downtown Denver.

Other then that... just have a party. Drink lots of Guinness and even more whiskey. That's about it.

I haven't put much thought to this. I would want people to celebrate my life rather than mourn my death. I think debauchery would be in order, or burn my body and dump it in a beautiful wilderness (Holy Cross Wilderness comes to mind). Probably ask people to donate money to Search & Rescue operations rather than buy flowers. I'll have to think about this some more.

Maybe someday I'll have enough original recipes to make a tasty meal out of.


Then, when I die, I'd love for it to be a buffet style remembrance dinner of all my tasty eats from when I was alive. Then the eulogizer can tell everyone they can rest assured, due to the fact that they were my recipes, that there was a little bit of me in every dish.


(then everyone will realize it was closed casket...)

Remind me not to go to your funeral.

I think I'd like to have made a video for people to watch, when I was still capable of being entertaining and not sickly or gross looking/sounding if possible. I'd like people to celebrate life, not mourn death. I will probably have a closed casket and tell people on the video something like, "what you're watching is me... that thing in the box is not me, that's why it's closed. Don't even look at it... this is me talking to you. Remember this. Remember me this way." and then I'd smile and continue on with whatever else I'll have planned.

Also, they should serve red kool-aid and cheetos before the video, with a little card next to them that says "analog's wish was to have red Kool-Aid and Cheetos served with no napkins" so that later, during the video, I can tell everyone to look around and see who has red tongues and orange fingers and they can all laugh. Because really, laughter is hard to come by at a funeral... and laughter is the best thing there is.

I want people to leave knowing that my memory will always be with them, not that my body has left them.

I go to entirely too many funerals so I've learned a lot. Take everything out that can be given to other people. The cardboard box costs about $200. Shove me in it, light that shit on fire and I don't care what you do with it. Dump 'em, flush 'em, it just doesn't matter... it won't be me. No memorial service, a big party please... with Guinness on tap. I'll leave cash for the body disposal, but I'm making someone else fund the beer. :D That's what I want. What will probably happen is that some sap will decide that I didn't know what I was talking about and arrange some service or something.

What I don't want is His Eyes Is on the Sparrow, the story of David, the altar call, some asshole talking about his life before he was saved... I'm still traumatized from the jerk at a 10 month old kid's funeral preaching/shouting, "I used to DRINK, I used to SMOKE, and y'all forgive me if I'm going too deep here, Lord forgive me, I used to look at PO'NOGRAPHY..." over his teeny tiny casket. He was 10 months old for pete's sake. Ass.

i like this idea, people metabolizing me in the funeral meal.

But I would have my own funeral done this way.. Get Cremated, and (if he's alive) have my godbrother take my ashes to the top of a certain rocky mountain we both know. No services, anyone that wants closure will have to hike along with him.

At the top of the mountain I'll have placed sentimental items that held good memories that we shared, and that i've shared with others.

Either that or bury my ashes under a newly planted tree somewhere it won't get cut down.

I've always wanted to be cremated and have my ashes scattered from the monorail at Disneyland.

Except before that, as a little child I wanted to be cut up and fed to sharks, so they could taste a human without killing one and getting blamed and hunted down afterwards. It was the most humanitarian thing I could possibly imagine.

Oh, don't ask.

I want to die way out in the woods somewhere and disappear by natural means and leave people wondering whether I'm really gone or not.

I plan to live forever, or die trying.

Since I'll be dead I won't care. I know who I want my paul bearers to be, and who to read my Eulogy. Other then that where it takes place would have to be in the town I grew up in. I wouldn't mind having a simple burial and then have all the speaking and stuff done at a non-denominational area like a home or community hall.

Cremated, scattered most likely from the top of some mountain.

Honestly I don't know how many people there will be coming to my funeral, and any that do would be so well loved that I'd rather they didn't pay thousands upon thousands for a funeral. Let them pay off their credit cards instead.

I thought this was particularly beautiful :)

I'm living forever, just emigrating somewhere different every few lifetimes.

But, there damned sure better be a TV special about me!

at my funeral, i want there to be free sno-cones for everyone, seriously. you can "rent" the sno-cone guy to do free sno-cones for an hour or whatever. i think it would be hilaroius for eveyrone to stand around with bright redand blue lips and tongues...and everyone likes sno-cones....

That's adorable.

I would love a big party with every one of my favorite foods laid out for everyone, and whiskey for all (yay, Jameson), and a big band and dancing and lots of flowers. But no lilies. Sheesh. After that, I want to be cremated and tipped in the ocean, because that will be the only way I won't be terrified of that much water.

Yeah, this is kind of what freaks me out about the whole thing. I mean, short of laying out a step-by-step plan for your own funeral in a strict legal document before your death takes place, I don't see how to ensure that your wishes will be followed to a T. I am sure that parents vs. spouses of dead people argue all the time about the "right" way to bury someone... especially if there was an accident and someone died young. How does that shit get decided, in the end? Especially if the person did not follow any kind of conventional religion (which makes things easier to plan, if they did). Makes me think I ought to call up a lawyer and set this straight while I can!

In any case... I don't know about having a ceremony without a body. I know that when my father died at sea and they never found the body, it was terrible for his whole family and my mother. Funerals are for the living, and I'd like to give my family the closure that they are going to need. To just vanish without a trace... I can't imagine doing that to my mother again, or to my husband. The body is necessary, at least for a day or two.

Weddings and funerals... two of humanity's most celebrated rituals. So I suppose I would want my funeral to be something like our wedding(s). Outdoors, in a pretty place, with some good poetry or excerpts from my favorite books. I want several languages to be spoken, so that everyone can understand something (since I am the only native English speaker in my family). I want music, someone singing a favorite song or two of mine, and maybe an open mic for people to come up and speak if they want. Nothing too formal. Open casket or not... hmm, depends on the way in which I died. But I like the t-shirt and jeans idea, just like the way I usually dress. And yes, I would like some Thai Buddhist monks there, and perhaps an open-minded pastor or priest who won't proselytize. Preferably someone good with interfaith stuff. I wouldn't want it to be a religious funeral, but deeply spiritual, yes. I want people to feel comfortable grieving in whatever way they feel is right. And alcohol for celebrating, DEFINITELY. :)

And the big question: cremation or burial? I haven't decided on that, yet. I lean towards cremation, but there is also something comforting about leaving a body and marker behind, for the living. I don't know yet. If I was to be burned, I'd have my ashes spread over the plot of land where I grew up, and perhaps drizzled over my other favorite places/countries.

I want to be cremated. I want one small part of my ashes to be spread where we spread my grandmother's ashes in Westport, WA, one small part to be spread with my grandfather in the Pilchuck River, in WA, and one part to be dispensed of at Hug Point, OR. I might also want one small part left with my grandfather's memorial in Tumwater, WA.

For the funeral, I want people to rent a giant beach house and just throw a huge kegger/bbq. No sedate memorial for me. I want people to have fun, and remember how much fun they had while I was still around. I also want them to remember how much I loved the water and the beach. I would like my mother's BBQ ribs and a giant pot of clam chowder to be served, with cheeseburgers and toast. An odd menu--but all of my favorite foods. And there had better be Coca-Cola. Lots of Coca-Cola.

This actually came up at the bar last week, before that I hadn't really thought about it too much.

I don't care what happens with my body. Donate whatever I haven't abused too much to science, and give me a small reception, nothing expensive at all. I'm dead, I don't need money spent on me.

The only thing I really want done is I want "My Way" and "Don't Worry, Be Happy" to be played at some point in that order.

Re: Funeral proceedings preferred
 

Not uncommon to think about it. I have been a lot lately, but mainly because I've been depressed and thinking about traintracks and high bridges, neither of which are pleasant enough for me to keep considering. So I guess I just grin and bear it for the moment.

I at once had a preferred place of burial, Japan, but my obsession has long been over. Thank God! We've all done some weird things in the name of that.

The second closest preferrence was near a certain beach, but the reasons are shallow I assure you (*Pun intended*).

At this point, the place of burial isn't really that important to me. If I die for any reason, I probably will have died without any real connection to any real person, place, or thing. If this changes, it'll happen a long time from now.

I also believed in a resurrection, but also that I wouldn't come back looking the same. So, I once wanted to be cremated, and requested that my family retain the ashes for as long as possible, and dump them out "when the time comes." I still believe in a resurrection, but I'm pretty sure God can bring us back looking the same. Heck, if twins can look the same, God can make us look the same, even without the same DNA.

Then, too, I hate what I look like anyway, and can't believe I once fretted over not being the same after death! I want to come back taller, bluer-eyed, so that maybe I might have a girlfriend one day. Oh, and marriage, too.

Too cute.

I personally would love to see my own funeral, and I hope (but doubt) I'll be able to do that. I would hope as little money is spent on it as possible, because it would be a waste to pay money to dispose of my empty body. Maybe it could be used for something else like research.

I'd rather everyone mourn my passing, be happy for knowing me and think or talk about me sometimes in my absence than be worried about paying for a box for my body to rot in.

I'M NOT GOING TO MINE

We'll all be there.

My body has been donated to science. I had a rare form of cancer so Johns Hopkins intends to dissect me and learn from me. I'm happy about this. Whatever is left over will be cremated and then I really don't care what happens. The funeral will be a party with lots of drinking, pot, and hopefully some sex in the cloakroom too! I just want everyone to have a good time. I'm actually really sorry I'll be missing this party, it sounds like it will be a good one. I'm not religious so I can't imagine there being any sort of formal service.

I just want to be cremated. And I don't want a headstone either. I don't understand the concept of taking up space once you're already gone, I would feel selfish. I actually want a tree planted somewhere where my family can go to remember me if they feel the need (and my ashes along with it). At least a tree is useful, whereas a headstone is not. I want it to be one of those annoying trees too that is always dropping sticky things or buds, so people think, oh that Tenniel tree haha. I'm serious about the cremation and tree thing though. And then everyone could stand around outside, say what they want, play a few songs that I want played, drink beer and BBQ or something. Oh and maybe they could but Christmas lights in the tree, no matter the season, that would be nice. Or maybe they could plant a pine or spruce tree, let it get big and use it for Christmas one year. So many different options really. What a great topic. I wouldn't mind recording something though, just to thank everyone and let them know I love them. Funerals/memorials are really for the ones left behind anyways. I've asked my mum (the person I'm closest with) to write me a letter for incase she dies (before me) telling me it's okay to go on, not sure if I could otherwise. Don't know if anyone would need the same from me at some point in the future. Well I have sufficiently babbled and shall quit now! Oh, but before I am cremated my organs have to be donated if they are useable, and then they can just get rid of the rest through cremation.

Have you got your seedling available? Perhaps if you develop a relationship with it you'll be there. Trees live a long time...