What is your "identity?"
 

This thread stems off a point I made in the thread on immigration ("Letter to the Editor") regarding identity. It brought up the question for me of what identity actually means to people, including the role of nationality. So I thought I would ask here:

How would you answer the question, "What are you?" or, "What do you identify as?"
What are the symbols that mean something to you? Is your language or flag something you define yourself with?
How about religion? Gender? Sexuality? Being human?
What is at the core of your SELF, the core of what forms your worldview, the stuff that means the most to who you are?

I'd usually respond, "Oh, I'm just some guy."

Family man, altruistic, friend, defender.

While it is easy enough to describe what i am- Student, son, skier, gamer, boyfriend, canadian, white, bilingual, latvian, etc.
as for who I am, and what i really identify with at my core? my beliefs. My self does not depend on an association to a cultural group; I am simply a person trying to live according to the moral guidelines i've set for myself.

I am a 24-year-old half-Dutch, first-generation American, Episcopalian, Pacific Northwestern liberal, who likes sushi, lattes, beer, and Volvos.

Good stuff so far. But I forgot to answer my own question... what are the things that shape my current identity?

I am a human being and a woman. My parents were immigrants, and so is my husband. There are five languages and countries among us. I have two passports and I am from rural-suburban Seattle. I am trained as a teacher and as an anthropologist. I am a former evangelical, and I am not an atheist.

Me = Apathetic and weird.

I try not to identify with any one group cause then that group tries to lay claim to me and tell me what to do.

I'm not really sure I do I could do it justice with text. I'm not "white, male, college-educated." I'm dynamic enough that there aren't enough adjectives to describe what is "me," and I'm sure that the descriptions you all have thus given hardly describe you as I'd percieve you if I met you.

I'm not talking about a description of one's personality... I'm talking about what you *identify* as... there's a difference there, to me. My description was not about how I present myself as a person... it was about the things that shape my decisions and the way I see the world. What determines my biases and opinions, if you will.

The idea that one's identity can be understood simply by listing words is kinda objectionable to me. Hopefully nobody is as shallow as a bullet list of adjectives strung into a couple sentences.

You tell me. I'm interested in knowing how I appear to others because it directly affects my ability to lead.

Look, I'm not looking for some massive psychoanalytic breakdown of all the factors that make you what you are. I am just wondering what the major influences are on people's expressions and opinions... the things or events that form a person's worldview. Was not intending whatsoever to "reduce" people down to a list of adjectives... give me a break.

For me, those things boil down to a handful of things... and yes, there are a ton of other minor influences, but I can say that most of my opinions are informed by the things that I mentioned earlier. 10 years ago, the major things were very different for me, and my opinions were drastically different as a result. My identity was in flux for a good number of years, but I feel like it's finally settling down some... and yes, I can use some words to describe those things. That's all.

Downtown, I'd be known as "honky".

sentient bag of bones with a vagina...progenitor of three additional sentient bags of bones with vaginas...currently residing centrally in the western hemisphere...likes to read, listen to music, watch movies, talk about politics and think bad thoughts

sorry, couldn't help it.

...but seriously, I haven't a clue what my identity is...at least not in any easily expressed fashion. I don't relate to any ethnic group. I'm not sure where my ancestors came from. I am not religious. Come to think of it, I've pretty much always been anti-group.

A loner. A rebel...Dottie. :)

Actually, my description above probably comes closer to the truth of how I identify than anything else I might be able to come up with.

identities.
yikes. now there's a problematic category.
if this is linked to the other thread on immigration/migrant workers, then what would follow is that these categories are (a) ideological and (b) are imposed on Others as a marker of their exclusion. so it is not surprising that folk who do not experience that exclusion find the matter of category assignment to be problematic.
that's how this business operates: so to the objection that they dont express one's complexity....the answer is: well of COURSE they dont.

anyway: i lived in france for quite a while and fond myself being identified initially as american..which meant that i could nto speak french, was rich and kinda stupid.....then as an american leftist...which was better but had the perverse consequence of making me into a curiousity. so i would find myself being introduced to folk in that way by people in my neighborhood, and the feeling would always creep in that the line between introduction and what a carnival barker does was very thin.

"hurry hurry step right up and see this amazing Freak of Nature..."

on the other hand, living there forced me to deal with my own americanness, which i thought i could slip away from only to find that everything i did and said seemed to demonstrate it. it was not--and still is not--a category i identify with or in terms of: but in my sense of personal space, in how i carry myself, in how i dress and speak, i am it. i guess.

the assignment didnt come from me simply because the category doesnt function for me as it does socially in another country.

i did find it strange that as people got to know me a little, they would create a little space for me to the side of the stereotypes rather than wonder about the stereotype itself. but you see this happening all the time, everywhere, it seems: x is a good exemplar of category 1, which is generally understood to be a negative category, deginating folk that "we" are predisposed to not like, not for any particular reason, but mostly because they are not "us"....i dont know why this happens. maybe there's something unnerving about others because they accidentally reveal the arbitrariness of the "us". and that, apparently, is not good.

I'm the King.

Okie Dokie.

I am first off, a follower of Christ. This is not just a religion to me, or a group to associate with. It shapes who I strive to be through my thoughts and actions. It permeates my character, so I suppose this would be in the forefront when attempting to define my identity.

I have a distance in my views of things. By this I mean, I try very hard not to view things from the perspective that the rest of my life choices have placed me in. I instead try to view things from a step back, to try and see the whole picture, and moreover, understand situations, or people, or things. Some may say this clashes with the stereotype of 'Christian', which is why it is more than a religion for me.

I am content. It takes very little to please me. I like most things, most people, most places.

I love. I do not agree with everyone by any stretch, but I can honestly say I do my best to express love to all I meet. Differences can divide, but they don't need to.

I am cautious. I question everything. I base my beliefs and values on tested experience and am stable in them. However, I desire to know more at all times. I like to be challenged in my beliefs, since if my beliefs are correct, a challenge will strengthen them, if they are wrong, a challenge will allow me to change them.

I am more interested in you than me. Using the word 'I' so much here is uncomfortable. I would rather know of You.

I suffer from low self esteem. Its a up and down situation and has gotten much better since I met my wife, but it is still present and does affect my thoughts and actions.

That is the best I could come up with in how to describe what makes me Me.

I agree. :) A Christian asked me the other day, did I know what I believed anymore? I told her, No, not really. But I know what I *don't* believe in. And I think that's just as valid a form of identity as having "beliefs," I guess. Same thing with identity...

Mmmmmm. Vagina.... :love:

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For myself?

I consider myself, English first, British second, European Third (for nationality).

I'm a father and a husband, I'm heterosexual, white and overweight.

I'll get back to you if anything else occurs to me.

Forgot to add.

I'm an atheist. I was raised by atheist parents who sent me to a Church of ENgland school, and I was (until 18) a member of my local Scout group - I went to Church (by choice) most weekends for over 10 years, and one day I realised I knew the words, I believed in the morality, but I could not honestly say "I believe in God and Jesus".

I admire belief in others, but I have none.

I am exactly as much the physical embodiment of a lottery drawing as I am the same as everything else. Existence is an absolute contradiction. I am the negation.

I'm a wild mixture of cultural backgrounds and religions. Add to this being first generation and second generation and unknown generation. Grandfather on Mother''s side was European born, Grandmother was born in the U.S.A. and Mother was born in Europe, although a different country from where her Papa was born-yes, I know it's confusing and because of this I consider myself at the very least tri-generational as a U.S. citizen. My father was 1/2 native American (in those days they were called American Indian) and 1/2 other.

I follow no religion, do not dwell on ethnic or cultural background for defining me, I consider myself a soul hanging out in an Earthbound shell, sent here for the purpose of research. Years back in an afterschool history program, our motto was We are here for learning and fun. That is how I define my being-I am here for learning and fun until my education and work visa on earth expires and I am reunited with the great collective of souls.

I'm a humanist. Other isms hold no interest for me and I struggle every day to understand my fellows. Go figure.:D

Mmmmmm, Vagina. Thanks Daniel, and with a capital V, no less!:thumbsup:
(The same thing sprang into my mind when I read mm's post...hoping that doesn't make me a sexist!):lol:

Great thread, abaya. I find it fascinating to learn how people identify themselves.

I had the benefit (or misfortune) of growing up in a household that placed absolutely no importance whatsoever with cultural identity. We were not religious so there was another area with which I had no connection.

As I grew older and began forming an identity for myself, I found that I didn't care to be identified as British-German-French-American. It means nothing to me to identify with a nationality. Even calling myself "human" seemed too contrived, as if I were making an effort NOT to be labelled. I began to believe that I just am.

My thoughts and opinions are based on the idea that I have one go at this world; what I do with my time here is up to me, not a cultural or religious imperative.

I don't know who I am really. I am a white woman, which typically doesn't work for my advantage as a teacher when those are the first quotas to fill up. But I don't think of myself in term of race although I am aware that I'm a woman.

I grew up Baptist. I don't believe in organized religion anymore and I feel the gap of something missing...just not sure what yet.

I'm definitely American in the fact that I've never been out of the country, but I don't believe or agree with a lot fo American beliefs and customs. I often feel like a tourist just going through the motions of what society expects from me.

Yea, I think I would be a lot more complete if I knew who I was and what I identified with. My biggest stressor is money so that is a symbol that has a negative or positive reaction on me. No positive reactions lately though.

I guess I would be a human that is driven by money and searching for something to believe in and hoping I find it before I die. I'm a lot more than that, but that is the first thing that came to mind.

**I'm under a lot of extra stress right now though so these thoughts are probably skewed by cloudy, tired thinking. Since I don't know who I am, I tend to change a lot depending on outside circumstances. One day I want to be content and calm...that's my life goal.**

My ethnic background is Turkish, but not having ever lived there and for most of my life thinking my Turkish relatives were lame, I don't really identify that much as a Turk...although now that I'm an adult, I'm more open to it.

I lived in England for 4 very formative years and also in part to me being born there, I identify with the English, sometimes more than I do with the Canadians, which is ultimately what I am.

Getting out of ethnicity, I identify largely with musicians. I am dedicating my life to this and am often around others who have done the same. I speak the lingo.

But it's always changing and gaining elements of one thing and losing another. I guess it's like the old question... if a boat has a piece of it replaced and repaired every few months, after 20 years, is it the same boat? Over the last month I've gained several new aspects of my identity... gym attendee, food and food politics enthusiast, Battlestar Galactica super-fan. No doubt some of the things I so strongly identify with now that make me who I am will be lost.

Oh yeah and don't think you could slip this one by me, MM:

...and a woman cool enough to have an Edward Gorey avatar. :thumbsup:

Sorry, I got excited...as you were.

I was hoping someone in the know would come around.

Although I think it actually goes more like....I'm a loner, Dottie, a rebel. :D

You're alright, aberkok.

This is a major reason why therapy doesn't work for a lot of people, because while you can break something down into a science, people cannot communicate on that level. Labels don't work.

For instance an anthropologist would tell you I'm a hick back of the woods white male misogynist Texan with a liberal streak and shades of a anti-authoritarian complex, I certainly wouldn't identify myself as such, nor would it be readily apparent to anyone meeting me. What I do identify myself as is more or less pointless.

Naw, a psychologist or sociologist might call you that. That's what their jobs and methodologies are. An anthropologist would say you're human, then start asking you questions and observing how you interact with others and go from there. :)

This is a really hard question for me... I tend to be rather zelig like in the way I think about myself. I fit into a lot of different pigeon holes.

I am

• an educated, white male
• a father and husband
• a Torontonian
• a Canadian
• an expat
• the short, pudgy kid that eveyone picks on
• my mother's son
• an angry young man who isn't so angry or so young anymore
• a funny guy
• a voice
• a horny, sick bastard

The list goes on. From day to day any one of these descriptions can sum up who I think I am.

The neat thing is that I am all of them (and more) at the same time regardless of what I might be thinking or what others are perceiving.

This is pretty deep stuff, I actually had to think. Hmmm...
-Canadian
-Artist
-Western European heritage
-Spiritual but not religious
-Surprisingly brave
-Loyal
-Forgiving
-Funny
-Forthright
-Loving

I think that's a pretty acurate self assessment.

Neat indeed. That's the idea I'm trying to explore with this thread. What are some of the words you'd use to describe part or all of you, all at once, regardless of your own or others' opinions... because those are the things that manifest themselves in your biases and the way you see the world. Or at least, that's my idea of identity (which clearly not everyone here agrees with... though I'm going with roachboy as to an explanation of why).

I am me...

"I Am (I'm Me)" perhaps?

http://www.nolifetilmetal.com/images...sister_iam.jpg

only human

I am

• Grace's wife.
• Sissy's sister.
• an immigrant's daughter.
• a person, a woman.
• broken.
• a teacher and scholar.
• homosexual.
• a spiritual person.

[
"Even calling myself "human" seemed too contrived,"

.[/QUOTE]

You have got to be kidding!("PS) all those typing on these keyboards are...human. Keyboards, contrived? :lol: :lol: :lol:

---are you an alien?

I am an American Baron of gothic heritage trying to find the balance point between helping people, even those whom I despise, and leading people, even those content to be sheep.

I identify with a journey of spirit.

I sort of identify with Kahlil and Jesus, although I'm not trying to *be* like them or follow in their footsteps...

If that makes sense.

I am my childrens' mom.
I am my husband's soul mate.
I am a singer, and a do-gooder.
I am a ham!
I am deadset on making people smile.
I am an animal lover. I am a sucker for puppies, and kittens.
I am smart and I am fit.
I am spoiled.
I'm a hippy.
I'm a goofball.

I am American by birth, but really have no Idea what that means. I like the Flag of my country, but do not worship its cloth. I love what the core of my country stands for, but rarely see it in practice, thus I cannot shed the frustration created by limitations of mind found in American Government. Though I can trace my roots in America back to the early 1600's, I don't see this as anymore American than someone who's parents became citizens in the 1990's.
I am not religious by most standards, as I find the very Idea of supporting "One God" distastful. I am Male, quite attracted to females, and generally considered to be Human....by most who know me. My worldview is complex, as I would hope most are. I tend to look at the future as a guide (three kids), and consider current direction in the context of how it will treat my children. Something of an environmentalist, I try to be low impact where possible, and worry somewhat about what I am doing to the planet they will live on in 100 yrs.
Of all the things this reality has placed before me.....I value my wife above all things, but consider the children a part of her in this regard.

I am the granddaughter of immigrants who had rather fascinating stories they seldom, if ever, told.
I am the first daughter of two people who came from such diverse backgrounds that, for a short time, my mother was disowned by her parents for marrying my father.
I am the mother of children who came to me through the wonders of science.
From the moment of my first breath, I was unnormal and have given up trying to be normal.
I am a cynical patriot.
I am such a procrastinator, even my hair hasn't gotten around to getting gray yet.:D
I was raised Catholic until my mother realized how Jewish she truly is; I do not believe in God.
I am intelligent, stupid, mature, childish, attractive, ugly, caring, nonchalant.
I'm just one person trying to play the game the best she can with the cards she's dealt.

My ancestors are European and Native American.
I am female, though admittedly, I feel uncomfortable in my body.
I am a student, francophile, wife, sister, and daughter.
I am young, but feel old.
I am atheist, bisexual, and constantly depressed.
I am my eating disorder, somedays.
I am just like everyone else.

As I read through this thread, it struck me that the OP is essentially an old meditation exercise. "who am I" begins it (although "what am I" would work too), and whatever the response is, the next part is to ask who is the "I" that is loving, kind, male, horny etc. The point is to peel away the descriptive terms, like layers of an onion, until "I" is reached.

So there you have it...the "core of my SELF" is what's left, after the desciptive layers of "me" are all peeled away.

God I love onions.

How would you answer the question, "What are you?" or, "What do you identify as?"
What are the symbols that mean something to you? Is your language or flag something you define yourself with?
How about religion? Gender? Sexuality? Being human?
What is at the core of your SELF, the core of what forms your worldview, the stuff that means the most to who you are?

I am a white female student in a male dominated major.
I will succeed at life one way or another.
I am a competitor, athlete, swimmer, biker, winner, daughter, person responsible for my family's name and reputation, sister, designer.
I am proud of my heritage and my roots.
I love my parents more than they know.
I come from engineers, architects, and geniuses.
I do not suffer because my parents did.
Expectations for my life are extreme. Failing is not option.
I take too much for granted.
I stopped believing in religion after being submerged in it my entire life, school everyday and church weekends. I lose faith often. Life is so ironic.
I am independent and dependent. I am loved.
I am full of energy and life to give to this world.
I care too much. I cry too often.
I can sew my heart back together once I find the compass. I am strong.
I am my familys legacy. I will never understand the way things were for my parents, though I wish I could.
I am strong yet weak. I will not be disrespected.
My life is the Grand Canyon.
I am German, French, British, Polish, Irish, and Scottish.
My mind is a book waiting to be written.
My heart is an uncharted valley of the unknown.

I love life and everything in it.
This is really nice to do.
Great Ideas!

Who am I? hmmm...

First and foremost, I am a mother. In this position I've taken on shaping part of our future, and I feel I suck at it! But I do my best. I try to give my girls the best of me I can. My decisions are based first and foremost on how they will effect my children, an extension of myself.

Second I am human. I am my own being. I strive to be myself instead of what others expect of me, it doesn't always work, I often find myself being the person people might expect me to be. I am working on this.

I am a wife/friend/lover to a man that makes me feel whole. I thrive off of his attention and affection, without it I lose direction.

I am spiritual. I lean toward Paganism, but not really bound by most of the ideological aspects of the religion. I try to see outside of the box. Although I have these beliefs, I don't always practice them, but they are there and I lean on them when I feel the need is there.

I like to please people. To see them happy and will put myself on the line to make these things happen.

I am a listener, counselor and have a shoulder readily available. This can set me up for drama and chaos but I do it anyways.

I am always looking to find new ways to enjoy sex, the whole thing, not just the procreation version. (don't ask..just how it came out in text...I'm sure there's a better way to describe what I'm thinking.) I enjoy flirting and the ego boost I get when people flirt back.

I try to avoid big words and debates. I often feel ignorant when surrounded by people. I know what I know, and sometimes am too content to stay that way, however I am always striving to learn what interests me.

I grew up on government cheese (which was the best!) and black and white generic food labels. I am humble.

I hate the society I am raising my children in.

People often tell me I was born a decade late. Something about me being more of a hippy then my mother was. I guess it's my thought process.

I'm sure I could say more, but as usual, I find my input thus far is more then enough to bore people and was mostly done to see what I could come up with for myself.

I think most of the identities I have are not readily apparent because I am in a place where most of them are the norm. It's only when I go to a different place or meet different people that I become aware of just how "Swedish" or "white" or "female" I truly am.

My biggest identity issue is that I flunked out of an MSc programme and ended up in humanities instead. I have the heart of an engineer and the brain of a humanities scholar, which is a pretty crappy combination if you think of it. I end up in all sorts of weird conflicts because of this. Someday I hope I'll be able to merge the two and draw strength from both disciplines, someday...

Because of this I totally identify with Dr. McNinja. Except his awesomeness is off the scale unlike mine.

Canadian, athletic, somewhat funny, can never get past "just friends" with girls, lacks the ability to sell a car, dreams of pimping his next car out, flirts with the girls at the Auto Trader publications, Electrician, loves to ramble about useless things and depressed when he has too much free time.

I am a woman, though sometimes I don't feel very feminine - at all.
For many things, I still feel like a child.
I am a bit of a cynic, a bit of a pessimist but also an optimist in the making.
I am very creative and my favourite activities are mostly related with the arts. I love colour and music.
I am an only child, a bit of a loner, but I'd love to understand other people - though I'm pretty bad at communicating with them in most face-to-face situations.
I was born Portuguese, and though I feel Portuguese at times, other times I don't know what nationality you could call me. I sometimes say I feel international, because of going to an english school in Portugal all my life with kids from all backgrounds. I feel like I don't fit anywhere. But I like my country - most of the time.
I am my mother's daughter - she is a genius scientist and excels in everything she does - expectations of me are high - or they feel that way.
I am my father's daughter - he was a politician and lawyer, and a good one as far as I know, but he was terrible at personal relationships - this left me some marks.
I am intelligent and educated and a good listener.
I feel things quite intensely most of the time and am easily hurt.
I am very untidy, sometimes lazy and often feel like I have failed. I doubt myself all the time and sometimes feel like a bad person.
I am very caring, attentive and giving.
I have high expectations of others and can sometimes be unforgiving - this has softened with age.
Sometimes, because I have never been able to believe in God or any such figure, I feel like I am drifting through life aimlessly. Most of the time I'd say I'm an atheist but more recently I have thought I am an agnostic because I'm not adamant that there is no God and nothing after I die, I just think that's the most likely outcome. Since nothing else in life seems to make sense, why would that aspect of it suddenly make any?

I think this is very insightful... roachboy alluded to it earlier, and I agreed. I think people become aware of entirely new aspects of their "identity" when they leave their comfort/norm zone and experience a place where they "stick out" for whatever reason.

Which is why I think everyone (esp. American high schoolers) should be required to spend one year living abroad in a country and learning a new language. Not that it will happen anytime soon (imagine the funding for that!), but man it would change a lot of opinions, especially about foreigners, in this country.

Anyway, really cool responses to this thread, keep 'em coming!

An American, mother, and teacher at heart and a student. I may never end up teaching again in a school setting but my desire is to teach others, especially children all that I can. I've had that desire as long as I can remember. Also, I never want to stop learning. I enjoy learning more about my world, my body, my country, my child, my lover, my life.

I am an Irish guy living in a small town in Ontario, I am an anarchist, and a nihilist, I am a punk ass teenager, and I have no sex life...thats about it I think

UPDATE: Ok, I'm feeling slightly less depressed today. Personally, I got to stop going on forums after 1am :)

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Since I'm currantly in a "My life is pointless" rut, it may dis/color my view of who I see in the mirror:

Contrary to the way I present myself, I'm strugling, and feel like a fraud.

I had a group of friends during high school. They were a bunch of pot heads and ditched class daily. Not wanting to go down their path, I abandoned them in my junior year. I've been a loner ever since. I'm going apart from the 3 friends I have, and I'll soon be down to just 1. Soon, my video games will be my only company.
I haven't had a date since last January, and before that, since high school.
Droped out of a tech school.
Failed at a network marketing company where many other types of people have succeeded.
I'll be 28 in a few weeks and I still live with mom.
I tell people my car died, but it was impounded and sold at an auction.
I'm in danger of being fired from work.
It's easier to deal with customer complaints at work than to make small talk with my coworkers.
I don't know if I'm actually confident or have simply become very good at faking it.
I can be detached to what's important in life.
Despite the ambition my mother had to flee from her family in Mexico to start a new life in California, I have none of it.
I don't want anything, and have nothing.
Although I make a great first impression, I can't live up to it.
I have to put a small smile on my face so that people stop asking me what's wrong.
No good has ever come of my having a crush on someone.
I have four times more dept than my annual income.

What opinions about foreigners do you think that would change? What assumptions about attitudes towards foreigners do you think Americans have now?

Does that attitude work in the reverse? I always feel like an American ambassador abroad, changing the preconceptions that the "foreigners" have about Americans. I spend 3-6 months abroad every year, but my opinions on foreigners have essentially stayed the same, only minimally fluctuating within a given range.

Well, two main things come to mind at the moment, though I am sure there are more:

1) language. If every American had to learn another language, not just Spanish/French/German in a textbook in HS, but actually LEARN and speak a foreign language... I think they would have a lot more empathy for people having to learn English here in the States. I think they would also feel a lot less threatened by people speaking foreign languages around them, since hopefully they would have less of their identity invested in English alone.

2) empathy for the process of migration. If students had to live abroad in another country, I think they would be able to understand how absolutely difficult it can be to find a place in a new culture and society... and how tempting it is to stay in a comfort zone of one's own people (not that it's right to do so, but at least they would understand it instead of feeling threatened by it). I think some Americans honestly think it's "easy" to learn English, and it's "easy" to find a place in American society... when it really takes decades, generations, to really assimilate (if ever). I think having a foreign experience would help change the context of reception in the US to be much more empathetic and welcoming, instead of seeing foreigners as threats to our identity (language, jobs, taxes, whatever is en vogue).

Well, as I said in my post, I think EVERYONE (not just Americans, though I highlight them especially because we are one of the only educated populations in the world to speak only one language and not travel much outside the US) in the world should have the requirement (opportunity!) to live abroad for a year. That includes people coming to live here, and hopefully have their opinions changed about Americans, too.

As it is right now, we have tons of foreign students coming here from abroad (I married one ;) ), but that is usually of their own choice, and they are typically from high-income families, which means that they are generally more open/exposed to English and American culture already. If we had some kind of Peace Corps requirement for every person in the world, that would just be fantastic in terms of shaking up people's naturally ethnocentric identities.

People of all backgrounds are generally closed-minded... it's just part of what makes us human beings, and has been a survival strategy to preserve our tribes and groups from incursion and change through the millenia. But at this point in our history, I think that attitude needs to change in order for our species to really adapt to the new global reality.

But it's complete fantasy on my part, of course... the most I can do is send our own children abroad at some point, or simply rotate our family from country to country as they grow up (we have 5 countries between my husband and I). :) I would love for them to speak five languages, though I'll probably have to settle for two or three.

Thanks for your response Abaya.

I can agree with the "comfort zone" idea that you and Roachboy submit but one hardly needs to leave the States to have that experience. For example, Teach America or any one of a number of national organizations deliver an experience of being outside one's own comfort zone and walking in another man's shoes. In one case, my brother spent his Spring Break on a Chippewa reservation, which blew his mind away. It helped him understand what other minorities go through etc. The next summer he spent working with gang youth in Detroit. These experiences are well qualified as outside the comfort zone and learning about other cultures and learning how difficult it is to "find a place in culture and society". As a former remedial student, I am all too familiar with the trials and tribulations of trying to find a place in culture and society. And every time I work the homeless shelter in Hollywood I am reminded of that.

While I agree that traveling and living abroad is a great idea in general, it most certainly is not a definitive gateway to broader understanding and empathy. Most Americans I meet overseas remain distinctly American. Most don't bother to learn any words of the language (especially since English is so widely spoken), and most seem to miss the nuances and sublimity of the local culture. Not all of course, but many. In fact, it always seems like they just want to storm the local tourist attraction, take pictures then go get drunk.

In general, I think learning languages is a wonderful thing. I am the "retard" in my family because I only know 3 languages whereas everyone else knows more. But I think the empathy for fellow immigrants and would-be Americans need not necessarily come from the task of learning another language, but rather one of learning the common tongue of your adopted home. All immigrants had to learn English and I believe that is one of the most unifying things in our country. As a son of immigrants, I also live in a heavy immigrant neighborhood that is fairly diverse. Most speak poor English, but with pride and wave the Stars and Stripes with enthusiasm. Only segment of the neighborhood refuses to learn English and flies a different flag. Although I speak their language, there is still a major barrier there that is not present with the other immigrant groups in our neighborhood.

I don't think Americans think it's easy to learn English as most don't even speak it properly and are barely literate. However, "bad" English is the common unifier and everyone can learn and speak bad English with relative ease. It's part of the dynamic nature of our strange and fascinating language. Where else do you get "truthiness" and "bootylicious"? (I had a difficult time trying to explain bootylicious to a bunch of Egyptians when I was in Egypt this summer :)).

Abaya, I don't think it's a fantasy, I think we are on our way there, slowly but surely. We can thank globalization in part for it. Your own marriage is a fantastic example and the numbers are only growing. We could all do with opening up our minds a bit, regardless of where we stand on this issue.

You can enroll your kids in language class right alongside with mine.

Red-headed Scorpio born without tonsils.