"Detergent"
 

What’s the difference between soap and detergent? There must be a difference. You never see body detergent or hand detergent? And what does “detergent” mean anyway?

I use decongestant when I am congested, and defoliant when I have too much foliage. So when I use laundry detergent, I figure my clothes must be...terged(?).

“Terged” – another way to say “covered in beer and nachos.”

Anyway... there I was, pushing a shopping cart down the dairy aisle. I was pushing forward, looking left, trying to figure out which aisle to turn into to get my dishwashing detergent. My concentration on this enormous task was interrupted by a rather attractive young lady who was dressed for warm weather, but feeling the effects of the cool air, if you catch my drift.

So I was pushing forward, glancing left, and trying to look at this girl and trying not to look like was looking at her when I realized that I was passing the detergent aisle. And jusst when I realized this, she looked over at me, and I looked her right in the eye, turned a hard left, and crashed into the toothbrushes.

The end of the aisle had this big display of toothbrushes hung on a coroplast board, and I knocked the living shit it. I shattered the mounting brackets on one side, and the whole thing canted wildly into the detergent aisle. Toothbrushes flew everywhere.

So I started trying to hang them back up, but they wouldn’t stay on, because the whole thing was catywompus. Then I tried to fix it, but that was impossible, because I BROKE it. And dear GOD, the cute, thin-shirted woman came over and started trying to help me, and I was trying to act cool, (Like "It's OK baby. I do this kind of thing all the time") then she sort of threw up her hands and walked off to buy whatever cute girls eat while they tell their friends about stupid assholes at the grocery store...

Detergent.

I guess the difference between detergent and soap is that you don’t make an ass out of yourself looking for soap.

I've worked in a factory where they make soap. Believe me, it's because they get all the "looking like an ass" out before handing it over to the customer.

And hey... I've gotten a concussion on a ski-slope due to a thin-shirted woman. Compared to that, way I see it is this- if you're not +1, you're breaking even.

Damn.. nobody's said anything. Clavus, I love your stories. Secretly, I wish to be put in all the humiliating situations you get into.

What do they do with all the leftover LLAA?

Stupid question. OBVIOUSLY they sell it to the detergent factories.
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Thanks, halx.

you always always make me laugh so much clavus, I've missed your stories

If I would have had coffee in my mouth, it would have come flying out! Brilliant!!

"terged" :D

Love it! I'm sure she was secretly flattered that you devistated a toothbrush display for her. Very secretly flattered. So secretly that she may not have even realized it!

thanks for the laugh clavus. you always have the best stories.

What type of foul beast is this?

clavus, this cracks me up! Thanks for sharing your stories with us, most people wouldn't tell a sole.

"Catywompus" it's like "higgeldy piggeldy," but not as bad.

Same here.

Another great story. Thanks for sharing it. :lol:

I'll never view wrecked displays at work the same way again.

there i go, back to elementary school...

I know this post was just for a laugh but I looked up the definition out of curiousity!
de-ter-gent –noun
1. any of a group of synthetic, organic, liquid or water-soluble cleaning agents that, unlike soap, are not prepared from fats and oils, are not inactivated by hard water, and have wetting-agent and emulsifying-agent properties.
2. a similar substance that is oil-soluble and capable of holding insoluble foreign matter in suspension, used in lubricating oils, dry-cleaning preparations, etc.

A brilliant story, clavus. The fact that it's true - I mean this actually happened - makes it all the funnier. :D

Not that I'm laughing at you...more along the lines of with you.
Bileedat.

To think, I was avoiding this thread because I assumed it was going to be a technical definition battle royale, an I come in to find another classic Clavus story.

Thanks for the laugh. I've blacked out all the past boneheaded moments I've gotten myself into trying to impress some attractive stranger. If I was there with you, I probably would have slipped on the fallen toothbrushes. :rolleyes:

(it keeps tellling me my messages are to short..)

Another brilliant Clavus moment. I'm sure she WAS secretly flattered. I would have been!

So, since you seem to know your jargon (I love the words you use), ever heard of frobbscottle and whizzpoppers? I'm wondering if the reference means anything to you! :D

Great story Clavus. Got a good laugh out of it. Thanks for posting!