Telemarketing - dealing with ´phone salesmen?!
 

I am being pestered two or three times a week by a certain company, and don´t know how to deal with them. It´s partly my fault as the first time they called I listened to them, as I was interested in what they were selling -mobile ´phones - but decided it wasn´t for me. Since then, I have told them that I´m not interested several times, but seemingly to no avail. Any ideas?

It´s NOT in my nature to be rude, so ´F%#k off and leve me alone´ is a definite no, nor is it in my nature to hang up. Tonight I answered the ´phone, told them I was busy and to ´phone back tomorrow - I´m out tomorrow, so I have a temporary reprieve.

It´s really annoying me now, so any solutions would be greatly appreciated!

In the US, we have a Do-not-call registry, however back in the day before that, my sister was very good at making them not call again.

"Sorry, you pronounced our name wrong. Tell me, what's YOUR name? How do you spell it? Whats your home phone number? I want to call you when YOU'RE having dinner."

u're not american, i take it. do you have a national "no call" list, like we do here in america? because if you do, put yourself on it. then, when telemarketers call, you can tell them that you are on the "No Call" list and that they can't call you. to do so would be considered harrassment. grounds for sueing them.

otherwise, caller id is the best defense in the world. just don't answer it when they call. that's what i do. in america, non-profit and charities are exempt fromt he "No Call" list, so i still get calls from Fraternal Order of Police, etc. I just ignore them... let it ring.

hope this helps.

I heard from a telemarketing employee, that the best thing you can do is hang up. That way, the employee doesn't get blamed for losing the sale.

Because telemarketing uses autodiallers, you may notice a pause and a mechanical click after you answer but before they greet you. If you're keen to it, you can hang up before they even start talking to you.

If you really can't bring yourself to hang up, try my wife's line: "I'm sorry but I don't accept phone solicitations."

They'll try to talk you around it, but just keep responding with it. You don't need to offer any other reason than that. The more they can get you to talk, the easier it is for them to steer you towards a sale.

These are businesses and not your friends and family. They don't require the same phone etiquette.

I noticed that too. Very devious these danged marketers.

Unfortunately, one thing I'm afraid of is the auto-dialers that are just trying to find live numbers. Kinda like the spammers that send out bulk emails with the like to "click here to remove" youself from thier list. Ooh... that's a bad one. When you click it, your email gets put on a list as a "live" email and sold to anyone in the world. I think a lot of those auto-dialers are the same. All the computer is doing is calling to see if anyone is gonna pick up. Then once you do... wham!

A colleague at work told me to politely ask them to hold for a minute, put the ´phone on a table or something and watch TV or continue with whatever it was I had been doing. After a few times, he says, they will get the message.

I´m not sure I like that idea, but I´m getting to the end of my tether.

yeah... i wouldn't do that myself. no reason to be passive agressive about it. at the very least, tell them you don't accept phone solicitations, ask them to not call again, and hang up. if you do that enough times, they will stop calling.

answeing machine and screen calls...

I've done that before. Typically, they are not permitted by their company's policies, from hanging up. Therefore, they are stuck on the line for as long as you're willing to have them stuck there. And...at least they're not bothering someone else, in the meantime. ;)

Lately, I've resorted to caller id, and the answering machine. There are way too many loopholes in the National Do Not Call List for it to be effective.

The last couple solicitor calls I've gotten have had a very long delay between making the connection and the autodialer shunting me into some poor lost soul's cubicle headset.

Generally I...
1) Launch into my own sales pitch for upgrading their PBX equipment.
2) Three words: "Verbatim Repeat Back"
3) Put them on speakerphone and go back to what I was doing.
4) Answer the phone with the most ridiculous string of official greetings I've strung together from various quarterdeck watches I've had to stand. "Good Morning. Space and Submarine Warefare Command, Systems Integration and Assembly, Reactive Armor Division, Shop 28. Petty Officer 1010011010 Speaking. This line is not secure for classifed exchange. How may I help you sir or ma'am?"
5) Some combination of the above.

I tell them I will get the manager, or person in charge, then put them on hold. I check back periodically to ensure they are still there.

I've read that the telemarketers don't mind this practice at all, as it nets them "caller time" even if it is a result of them being entirely ignored.

Regardless, it's fun on my end, and since they are attempting to waste my time, I like to have fun with it.

I just had to re-register all my number for the Do Not Call List (DNCL). I registered back in February, but it somehow didn't register. My wife got a message today from a telemarketing company today that called where I pounded out and left a message saying that we were on the DNCL. They called back to say that they got an updated list yesterday and that we weren't on it. As far as that company goes, I'm very appreciative, but I'm sort of pissed off otherwise.

I would say just work up the guts to just hang up. It's not like you're hanging up on a friend or someone you actually know. If you have caller ID, then you can screen your calls and not have to talk to them at all.

What country are you in? I'm pretty sure if you tell them clearly not to call you again (make sure you note the time, date and person you spoke with) and they do, it's construed as harassment in many places.

Hello..... Oh your with MCI,cool , My sister used to work for you guys, Marine Capture Institute right, yeah she hated having to take those seals from the mommys, you know seals are actually Mammals, just like you and me, but they dont have fingers they have fins, I have this wart on my finger they say you can use duct tape to get rid of it, I tried and it didnt work so I bought some freezing type stuff, really hurts to use it, never try that,works well on bugs though, I took out a couple cockroaches with it, man those things are nasty, we have like, a thousand of them in the kitchen which doesnt bother me that much, its when they get in my cereal that pisses me off, I eat raisin bran usually and its hard to know there in there till you feel the crunch, they are bitter and smelly when you eat them, I suppose theres protien there though, niot my idea of a balanced breakfast, oranges are though, love my oranges but never really understood why they named 'em after a color, not very original if you ask me..........keep going as long as you can, do not allow them to say a word, after 20 minutes or so dismiss them with...... Oh. Im sorry, your actually trying to sell me Long distance arent you...not interested have a nice day...Click.


-OR-....for the less talkative amongst us

I'm sorry, this is a buisiness line, please do not call again.

Guys, this is really simple. The company doesn't want to waste time on you if you're not a lead for what they're selling. All you EVER have to say to a telemarketer is, "I'm not interested. Please put me on your do-not-call list."

The national registry is a joke. But each company mantains its own do-not-call list, and they'll put you on it at your request. They usually say something like, "It will take four to six weeks for this to take effect. If you have questions call 1-800-xxx-xxxx." And then you're done with them.

As someone who's worked in a form of telephone marketing before, I have to agree with ratbastid. While the suggestions in this thread are hilarious (and a few are possibly effective) the easiest way to avoid another call is to pick up the phone and tell them clearly and in no uncertain terms what you want.

Almost all telephone marketing is computerized.

If you just hang up, the operator will code it as 'no answer' and your number will immediately go back into rotation (i.e. you'll get another call sometime soon). The same thing will happen if you simply let the phone ring off the hook. Even when the marketer leaves a message, you'll likely receive a follow-up call within a few weeks.

If you lie and say it's the wrong number, your entry might go into 'research' where they'll use directories and other resources to try and find your current number. For a variety of reasons this often leads to your real number being put back on the list.

If you merely say you're not interested, they may call back the next quarter or the next year; perhaps even the next month. Be clear that you don't want any more calls from them, ever. Every operator has a 'do not call' button in front of them when they call you. You have to say the magic words to make sure they press that button and not any of the others. It makes the operator's life easier when you are clear about this.

But hasn't Foxy said they keep calling back several times a week, even though she's expressed her disinterest? It doesn't sound like there is any logic going on, it sounds much more like harrassment to me. And who knows what will actually make them stop?

Maybe you could tell them how much you'd love to buy the product, but because of the special conditions of your probation, you're not allowed to have cell phones. Or liquids. :P

I always say: I'm not interested, please take me off your phone list. Have a nice day. <click>

You basically have usually talk over them - a common tactic is for them to not stop talking for a long while...in normal situations you would not talk over someone while they are talking because it's rude, and they take advantage of that. So just start talking as soon as you realize you aren't interested. I'm not sure how effective the 'please take me off your phone list' bit is, but I use it anyway. I also always wish the person a nice day, because, well...their job must suck. :-) But I always hang up immediately after 'have a nice day', even while they are talking, which probably pisses them off, but *I* get to decide when the conversation is over.

The do not call phone registry seems to have helped a little bit with the telemarketer calls I've been getting, but if the company has a 'prior business relationship', as I understand it, they are still allowed to call...so some sneak through.

-RN

I think some have a rule that you have to say "not interested" 3 times before they give up or something.

Anyway, I just chant, "Thank you. I'm not interested. Have a nice day." Three times. And they hang up.

Next time I'm just going to do this:
Me: "Can I have your full name and home phone number so I can call you again later?"
Him: "I can't give you my personal information, sir."
Me: "So you don't want me to bother you at home for business? Then you should offer me the same courtesy. Good day."

A long long time ago I use to do programming and run the software for a company that did telemarketing. Computer generated call, when someone answered the generated call it went to a person to pitch. Couple of things to remember when dealing with these calls.

1. the person calling you is just doing there job. whether it be some student, or some mom just trying to put food on her table. nothing personal, just a job.
2. if you are rude to the telemarketer or abusive most times they will put your number back into the call list so you get called again. just to piss you off.
3. as noted most marketers have to make a certain number of attempts to sell you there crap. its not personal, just a job they have to do it. in fact is you yell at them for being too aggressive and demand a supervisor, the minute the supervisor gets off the phone with you listening to youf rant, they will praise that agent for being aggressive and doing there job.

as ratbastid said, just say "i am not interested, please do not call me again and put me on your do not call list" then hang up. Talk over them if you have to. The marketer will appreciate it as they don't have to keep trying to sell you and the call is over quickly.
I really don't see the big deal. Call display is wonderful, annoying phone calls are a part of life. takes 10 seconds to repeat i am not interested...click. on with your day. Now if you said that and they kept calling back everyday now that would be a different story.

I recognize that there's nothing more frustrating than having to cold call and sell all day. I'm always cordial at the onset and let them know, in NO uncertain terms, that I'm not interested. More often than not, my courtesy is read as "leverage." Then they push harder.

One thing I haven't done was to hang up on them. Maybe, as you imply, that's the way to deal with it. The "3 times rule" is not something I heard anywhere - I said it only because they seem to only let me go after the third time I say "No thank you. I'm not interested." So it's probably just a coincidence.

I don't blame someone for doing his job. It's just when someone tries to exploit my good nature - often with an attitude designed to persuade me that I somehow owe him some rationale (Please don't tell me that such pressure tactics aren't used) do I view a caller with disdain.

Oh, the other thing is ... don't forget to say "please take me off the list."

I agree with ratbastid 100% Additionally, by the time you get to the words "do-not-call-list" the phone should already be on its way away from your face and back to the cradle.
Lindy

There was another thread about this. Somebody said they always replied thusly:

"Oh hi--I was masturbating when you called. Mind if I finish while you talk?"

Alternatively, you could use those five little words to the telemarketer:

"So.... what are you wearing?"

LMAO ... or you can take the phone into the bathroom and make grunting and farting noises while talking.

ironically enough buying their product might get you out of getting telemarketer calls. Since I dropped my landline and only use my cell phone, I haven't had ONE sales call.

Prior to the instigation of the "national do not call list", I was receiving several unsolicited calls every day! I was making progress, by using the phrase: "Please place me on your do not call list." The volume of calls I received, was reduced significantly. The response was almost always the same, it would take a minute, they would read my name and phone number to me to verify their information. I do not remember getting repeat calls from the same company after completing this procedure.
Of course before I started using this, I used a few different questionable techniques. The easiest was to simply lay the handset down, and go do other things. I would only be rude in response to significantly rude behavior on their end. A few times, while extremely bored, I would feign interest, in an effort to see how long I could keep them on the line, without making a sale.

Say: Please place me on your do not call list. much easier

I give someone about one entire second to answer back when I say hello. If nothing, I hang up. I have been doing this for a few years at home, and just started doing this at work for the last six months. Most of the time at work though its someone selling me a free magazine subscription to some obscure trade mag that has zero to do with what I actually do. They usually go straight into the round file.

Some of you mention the "Do not Call registry" did you know that a company can call you though if you buy something from them. That is why I tell Toys 'R Us and other stores I don't want to give them my number when I buy something from their store

Move to Germany, Telemarketing is not allowed here ;)

I either interrupt them, say I'm not interested, & hang-up, or I ask to have my number taken off their call list.
It depends what mood i'm in. I've subscribed to the do not call registry, but I can't remember how long it takes to kick in.

The ones I hate the worst are the ones where you get a message asking you to hold. That really ticks me off.

I'm partially putting myself through college by working as a telemarketer for a major hotel chain right now.

Send any and all specific telemarketing questions to me in this thread. I will reply with the best answer possible.

The most common question is obviously, "how do I get rid of them?" Well, the simplest answer I can tell you is one that has already been mentioned on here. Basically, just say, "I'm not interested, put me on your do-not-call list please."
We are required to add you to our list, and you will not be called again (at least you shouldn't be).

I used to have the "courtesy" problem. Just couldn't bring myself to talk over them. I finally snapped when they called one too many times in the middle of dinner and wouldn't be put off. I got mad that time, but decided to switch gears.

From then on if I had the time I'd work on domestic things but keep the call going while feigning various cognitive and communication disorders. Things like "tell me more about...", "the hyena was crying, could you repeat that?", "what else is free? I know something's supposed to be free!" Or I'd ask for a minute to tell my wife, set the phone down and start repeating the offer completely wrong to my roommate who by then would be ROTF. Basically burning time. It seemed the calls were becoming more frequent, and I wouldn't be surprised if some were retaliatory, but by then I was enjoying it. Nothing made doing the dishes go more quickly.

Later, after moving between states and then with the DNC registry, marketing calls have dropped off to almost nothing.

Me either--though admittedly I don't answer phone calls from numbers I don't recognize.

If I get one of those auto-dialers that connects to a rep after you answer, I always hang up before they can talk. But if they are not using an auto dialer and a live person comes on right away, it is hard for me to be rude or too abrupt. No one can pronounce my last name correctly on the first try, so I don't feel too bad about responding with "Sorry, no one here by that name".

Ohh...that just makes my blood boil! :mad:

Do not have a machine call me, and then have that machine ask me to hold for the next available operator. You called me, you arrogant assholes! At least have the decency of showing me a modecum of respect before you begin to harass me.

I want to twist the neck, of whoever thought up that marketing strategy, like the rubber band in a balsa wood airplane.

Ugh. Autodiallers. I hate being on the other end of those as well (works in collections).

Let's see 1010011010 First Place

Halx.....second

Ratbastid third

put them on hold and let them wait. (not last place but not in the top 5)

my credit card company was calling me daily at 8am even though i was on a payment plan w/ them already. i did the math w/ the lady and showed her that even if i did as she suggested and sent an extra 20bucks a month, i'd still get calls daily for a year and a half. she felt so bad that she called me back 5min later and told me the secret...

write them a Cease and Desist Letter.

Once you send the letter they are legally bound to stop calling you.

I'm currently working parttime while in college for a company that conducts phone surveys of customers of various companies and their products and services. So although we're not cold-calling or selling anything (the companies provide us with the names and numbers and *should* have notified their customers that them may receive a courtesy call), we do use an autodialer, and I see a lot of what is being said in this thread.

First of all, the National Do Not Call List does not apply to phone survery companies such as the one I work for; only for companies attempting to sell something. We do however maintain our own do-not-call list, and we are required to put anyone who says the magic words "do not call" on it.

Also, although you may think it's hilarious to pull some of the various stunts described in this thread, to the caller on the other end, it's nothing new. For instance, I currently am on a project where an average survey lasts between 1 and 2 minutes, with most calls being shorter, as the person does not agree to do the survey. I make about 60 calls an hour over the course of a 5-8 hour shift. I've been working at this job for 3 months. I've heard every smartass response you can think of, including those in this thread. It's just annoying more than anything, and it'll probably get you a call back in the future.

For where I work at least, putting us on hold interminably does not work. We are supposed to make a certain number of completed surveys per hour, and we are told per company guidelines that after 2 minutes of being put on hold, we status the call as a non-scheduled callback and move on. This may differ with a true telemarketing company, but I'm not sure. In any case, it's not really an effective deterrent.

Hanging up without saying anything is a terrible idea to get rid of telemarketers. Doing so will lead to the caller pushing the button on their screen that says "Callback", in hopes that perhaps someone less ornery will pick up the phone next time.

We are required by law to push our "Do Not Call" button if you request it. Any telemarketer that doesn't abide by this is into some skeevy business practices, and legal action could probably be pursued.

I may be a little over the top compared to most of the posters, but I think there is a special laevel of hell for those who disturb my peace in my home. I welcome call from friends and family at reasonable times. I don't mind the pages that come in when I am on call (more than 100 days and nights a year). But I lost it years ago when my credit card company called me at 7 am on a Saturday back in med school. It was my first day off in almost a month and they wanted to sell my some credit protection product that I would have to be a moron to purchase. I have never felt it necessary or even appropriate to use the usuall social rules in dealing with people who invade my home via telephone.

The Do Not Call list has been wonderful, and now I only get calls from charities and surveys and companies I have already done business with. I used to disconnect as soon as I could, but now I tell them I will go get whoever they ask for. Sure it is passive aggressive, but it makes me feel good. If it is a company I have used before, I explain that any future calls will lead to a permanent change in who I do business with. Then I hang up.

Remember whenever you see survey results that most of the people called or contacted did not respond.

Nice. The only suggestion that works and is civil gets third place. I see how you are! :P

I'm with the no-land line people... all I have is my cell phone, and haven't had a single call.

I had this bookmark that has since gone, but what it was an experiment run out of finland or some such European country which aimed to reverse the balance of the call in order to solicit information out of the telemarket.

They had a flow chart you went through, and it worked seemlessly - immediately you'd become the one asking the questions, and you'd ask about how they got the number, what company they called from, and just before the end it had some token question about how much they earnt and what toothpaste the recommended. It even had a "if your telemarket gets irate" box with courtious replies. You were meant to fill out the form and send the creators the answers. Bag of laughs and it worked amazingly, they stopped calling our house after about 3 runs through.

Although, since working on a helpdesk, i've learnt that it's sad to fuck around with the people on the other end. I've also noticed at uni that there are heaps of fliers around advertising for the job late at night for desperate students. So remember the next time you get one, this person is probably just desperate for cash and would really rather be at home enjoying a lovely meal like you are :P.

I need to find that site again.

[edit] Found it!! http://www.xs4all.nl/~egbg/counterscript.html enjoy :P [/edit]

Nothing in Dante's about telemarketing or interrupting dinner but Circle 8 is the destination for sins of Fraud: Pimping and Seducing.

I like the punishments: :D

What strikes me as sad is that the callers are often desperate and themselves victims of the larger problem. "I had to get money somewhere." That's a classic if immaterial defense of many parasite occupations.

Tough to work up much sympathy, but next time I'll remember to apologize for feeling indignant at the uninvited incursions on my time and peace within my own home. Twats.

I like my dads way of dealing with them. He will sound intrested, ask lots of questsions, keep them on the phone for like, 45 minutes if he can, then say "Nah, not interested" and hang up on them. He's done that to a few of them now. It's funney as hell. He even haggled price over something with one of them before hanging up on them.

Dang... I was just gonna post the same thing. It may not get them to stop calling, but it probably really pisses them off :lol:

Odds are they'll mark it as a likely sale and it will increase calls, if anything.

No kidding. Say you are not interested, ask that they refrain from calling you in the future, and hang up.

telemarketer: "hello... is this hank?"
me: "yeah, what do you want?"
tm: "well, this is blah blah blah from blah blah blah and we're offering..."
me: "listen, i'm kinda busy right now, hey, would you know how to get blood out of a carpet?"
tm: "excuse me...?"
me: "yeah blood out of a carpet... i mean a lot of blood... how do you get it out of a carpet? and, i'm in a hurry!!!"
tm: CLICK

10 minutes later...

phone: "is hank there?"
me: "yeah, who's this?"
phone: "this is mike field from the sheriff's office. do you have a problem over there?"
me: "yeah, telemarketers."
phone: (LAFFING HIS ASS OFF!!!)

I recently cancelled a few subscriptions to magazines.

Took only couple of weeks and they try to sell me these magazines again.

This is what hubby does, if someone calls him at work to his mobile, leaves the phone open and lets the person go on talking to himself.

I like the witty replies on this thread, but the telemarketers usually have no point to carry on, when I start whining how bad economical situation I'm in. If they still continue, I try to sound even more depressed.

I normally go straight to disarmament.

If it's a newspaper, I don't read the news.
If it's a magazine, I don't read magazines.
If it's a credit card company offering insurance on my balance, I don't need insurance.
If it's a survey, I don't have time.
If it's a charity, I can't donate right now.

I have a background in sales and marketing. The one thing that tends to kill a deal is a lack of: need, the ability to pay, and time.

The time issue will always encourage them to ask about calling back. Just say you never have any free time.

Just so happens, hubby told me he was asked today to support an association for people with disabilities. The caller had some disability herself and he could not cearly hear what she said.

I've received calls like that. I usually tell them, I support their cause by other ways.

I ask magazine sales reps if they have a version in Farsi or Bulgarian. Or a Braille edition, and do they offer free services to the blind.:rolleyes:

Lindy

Why answer if you don't know the caller? There was a time when I would answer just for fun, but now I feel for the people that do it because there's not much else out there for the unemployed.

If I don't recognize the caller name or phone number, I don't answer. If it's important, they'll leave a message. Most times, I keep my home phone volume all the way down, or even off and just check the caller ID and messages once a day.

Because of this practice, I don't mind giving out my home phone number when it's requested. And only friends and family are privy to my cell number. And both are registered on the donotcall.gov site.

Tell them you are not interested, ask to be taken of the list, and hang up.

I've never had to get to the point of blocking a number or sending a c&d, but I think people really over think this. The telemarketer doesn't want to waste time with you either. If you aren't interested, don't waste your time AND theirs. :)

I just do the old trick, "tell me all about it, every detail" then put the phone down and go do something else until I hear the beeping noise.

I hate telefucktards with a passion, and would rather have them waste more time than me. If everyone did this they'd be out of business within a month.

---------- Post added at 10:40 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:35 AM ----------

By making sweet sweet love to all the cripples you can find? :D

That would be called charity, eh?

I once told someone trying to get me to switch long distance services that I didn't have a phone. When she said something like "if you don't have a phone, how are we talking?" I answered "through pure irony, baby" and hung up.

Of course that was pre-DNC list, but it's still one of my favorites.

---------- Post added at 12:56 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:52 PM ----------

For Zeraph or the cripple?

I've had some nice chats with telemarketers.
I start out by telling them: It must be a difficult job sometimes & I know we might be recorded, so I won't put you in an uncomfortable place by asking you to verbally agree.
& then I ask what part of the world they are calling from & how's the weather?

We've had some good chats about the weather.

Want to freak out a telemarketer of any sort (including the legal kind)? Tell them that they may be recorded for legal purposes.

I'm a telemarketer myself, and I agree that the best way is to ask to have your name removed from the list. I do it, unless you say it in the most dickish possible way.

Although I agree, if you want to annoy the telemarketer, the best way is to act like you're going to buy whatever product it is and then leave them with blue balls at the end.

I don't sell anything, technically, I get people to come for financial advisement. If they end up investing, the salesman/advisor at my office gets a cut.

I don't try hard because I get paid better, my pay is the same no matter what (shitty). I try hard because I like doing my job well, and because I think the advice we offer is sound (I get to see the clients' advisement sessions if I get them to come, and if I want to, can work my way up to advisor).

Just this week we had the telemarketer from HELL. This guy calls with a heavy accent asking if we received our updates for Windows 7. I say I'm not interested. He then asks us how many computers in my house use Window 7. I then say I'm not interested and take me off your call list. I'm from Canada and am registered on the do not call list.
It was a weird connection as I heard an echo on the line every time I spoke. He then proceeded to call seven more times in the next few minutes. Each time I would say hello and hear my echo and he wouldn't answer. I'd hang up and he'd call right back. After the seventh call my wife answered. He then spoke up with the same speech about Windows 7. My wife asked calmly (as I was yelling into the phone a few times to stop harassing us) why he was repeatedly calling us. He told her if I just politely told him why I wasn't interested in getting free updates for Windows 7 he would stop calling. She politely told him (seriously - she was calm while I was flipping out) that we're not interested in doing any business on the phone and to not call anymore and then hung up. He then called us about a dozen more times doing that no talking thing. We called our phone company and got the number blocked.
First time we ever had a nut job harass us like that. It was really frustrating.

INSANE.

I hold nothing against telemarketers. The legit ones are simply doing an honest job, and it's a job I'd truly hate. It can't be easy.

I normally screen most of the calls. (I work from home.) But sometimes they get through.

I'm generally polite and will be straight with them, telling them I'm not interested/no need, or whatever. I don't feel the need to be a dick about it. I'm sure they get enough of that with many of their other calls.

For the past year or so "Rachel" (a recording) has been calling periodically from "Credit Card Services" about my ability to lock in lower rates on my credit cards - an offer that is about to expire. Push 9 for more information. If I have the time, I'll press 9 and screw with them. First of all, they are dialing everyone without any knowledge if you have credit cards. They are very misleading. So, I'll lead them on and tie them up for several minutes. They are only interesting if the outstanding balance on a card is over $8,000. They'll ask for my balances and I'll say something like "I'm in the shed and I ain't got none of the cards with me. I ain't got no idea how much I owe but its a bunch" Eventually they'll hang up on me but not until I wasted their time. These people are scum. And what they are doing is illegal also.

I know of someone who tells telemarketers they have a cat. Non-sequiturs might be fun to try sometime also. That might be the next thing for me to try.