Need help scattering my bro's ashes all over the world
 

Hey folks -

Many of you know that my brother Josh died about 3 & 1/2 years ago - he was 25, he was a skater, and he was hit by a car. If you want to read more about the whole thing and what it's meant to me, you can visit my memorial site for him at http://marcyray.net/josh.htm

My family has been slow to do anything with his ashes - it's so final, and he was such a nomad that it's hard to know where to scatter them! So a while ago, I hit upon the idea of scattering a little bit of his ashes in all the places he wanted to go but didn't get a chance to. Right before he was hit, we were talking about going to Australia together, so when a friend of mine went to Melbourne, she took a little baggie of his ashes with her and scattered them at a skate park.

So far that's the only thing I've done (aside from scattering some at Venice Beach at his memorial, putting some of his ashes in a little pendant, and giving some of them to my dad in an urn).

So I would love it if people around the world (and within the US) with a willing spirit from TFP would help me out. I'd love to send his ashes to places I know he wanted to visit:

- more places in Australia
- Japan
- Sweden
- Vancouver
- Czech republic (specifically, the ossuary in Kutna Hora)

as well as to places I know he loved:
- San Diego
- San Francisco

along with any other places you think are cool. Skate parks are great, but he was also a dedicated trespasser and pisser off of police by skating in public areas.

So if you're willing to do the somewhat morbid duty of receiving his ashes, scattering them in an appropriate place, and documenting it (photos or video, to be posted on his memorial site) please let me know and we'll figure out how to mail you the ashes. It would mean so much to me to have more people know who he was and participate in spreading his spirit around the world.

P.S. Yesterday was his birthday - he would have been 29. Know what's cool? My best friend from high school, whose brother was Josh's good friend, just had her first baby yesterday! Now we have a new life to celebrate on his day.

You neglected to remind me to drink another bottle of that nasty assed Mike's Hard Lemonade? You do realize that's the only reason that bottled nastiness haunts my cabinet? ;)

Still....


I'm game...if you want a little piece of him in Omaha (though why...I could not guess).:rolleyes: There are a few skate parks here, and more than a few places where the police habitually extricate those damn skate punks.:suave:

Awesome - I was born in Omaha, you know, and my parents both grew up there. Email me your snail mail addy and I'll send you a bag o' Josh ;)

This hereby exempts you from all Mike's Hard Lemonade duty in the future.

Was there anywhere in particular in San Francisco that he liked to be (preferably somewhere where his ashes would lay undisturbed)? I'd like to help.

be sure to note that human remains (even cremated ones) cannot be sent any way thru the postal service but Registered Mail with return receipt and the package must be marked as containing such

http://www.cremationassociation.org/docs/remains.pdf

(just didnt want you to run the risk of it not making it to its destination)

as a note...you cannot send them via fedex or ups at all

Hey Lurkette. I don't know if he would have wanted to skate in Toronto, but I can definitely think of a few good places. I'd be happy to help your bro explore some Toronto spots! :)

I'll volunteer either New Hampshire or Chicago -

There's a small chance I'll be in the czech republic in the next year.

Looks like willravel has San Francisco covered. I'll let you know if I travel anytime soon.

Cincinnati or Dayton Ohio here, if you wanted :)

same here, i'd be more than happy to help. :) plus, i go to Lexington, Kentucky at least once a year and I'll also be heading to Milwaukee, Wisconsin in the next year.

Sweet, thanks guys! PM me and I'll arrange to get your snail mail addresses.

No skate parks I can think of, but if he'd like to go swimming off Jacksonville Beach, let me know.

Chicago
Minneapolis
Kohler, WI
Knoxville, TN
Lincoln, NE
Las Vegas
St. Louis
Raleigh, NC
Little Rock, AR
San Diego

All of them are on my travel docket for the next 60 days, so let me know. I can always make a side trip to a skate park, or better yet the kind of place where he would have been banned from skating (office building, city hall, etc.). Just let me know.

That's cool! My stepmom just died in April and said in her will she wanted to be scattered in Brown's Bay near Wolfe Island. We had a family reunion three weeks ago and scattered most of it there. My sister wanted some to take back home with her.

Now I have an empty $1000 bronze urn. It was engraved with my stepmom's name for the memorial. We're thinking of making a new family tradition. Everybody who dies gets time in the urn and their name engraved. Sortof like the Stanley cup.

Cool! Josh makes the tour with The Jazz!

Let me know where to ship them - too cool, and thanks!

If you would like to send a little bit to Oregon I'd be glad to help...we have some very cool skate parks in the area.

Lurkette

If you can get some of the ashes to Singapore, I am sure I can find somewhere cool (well, hot actually) to spread his ashes.

I like that idea. Although I hope it is a good twenty years before I have to deal with something like this it would be kind of neat to have something like that, morbid as it is to pass down through the generations.

Pm me for Japan. I'd be happy to help.

Although I'm not certain he'd be interested, I'm up for helping out if need be.

I live in Green Bay, Wisconsin - not much around here as far as skate parks go, but we do have the Great Lakes nearby as well as our claim to fame - The Packers. If he was a football fan I can't think of a better place to be than Titletown.

Let me say, I think this whole idea is really very cool.

There's not much in the way of...well, anything in my neck of the Arkansas woods excepting Branson, Missouri which is a couple of hours away and the state's largest Wal*Mart.

If, however, bad country music and low, low prices were his thing, then I'd be happy to help. :)

I think he liked the Embarcadero area, and anywhere skater punks hang out.

Thanks! :icare:

I'm sure I can get them there somehow. Let me know where to send them. I know there are skate parks in Singapore. :)

Look for a skate park getting an Upgrade/construction....and ask to have his ashes mixed into the Concrete. Might even get Local Media involved....would make a great , and inspirational Human Interest story.

Good Luck, and much respect goes your way.

Well... I live in Sweden and would love to help out, I live in the northern part of Sweden which is more known for skiing and snowboarding than skating so I don't know of any real skateparks around here, maybe in nature? or at a ski hill or something?.. I'll pop you an IM just in case..

For those of you who have been kind enough to offer to scatter Josh's ashes, I am waiting to get some stickers that I ordered that have a drawing of Josh one of his friends did when he moved to LA. I should have them some time next week, if you wouldn't mind handing them out or sticking them to lampposts or something :)

so you're suggesting we deface public property? :D OK, I can do that :D

Josh would have approved :)

Best. Idea. Ever.

Seriously. My close family is not too keen on traditional graves with all the trimmings, so this could be something worth considering.

Also, I live in Stockholm, beautiful capital of Sweden, where we do have skateboard parks. So I'd love to scatter some ashes there. Here. Whatever.

I'd be happy to spread some at the Denver Skate Park. If it helps in your desire for variety in location, I could also keep some until next time I'm up in the mountains, then spread them at the summit of, say, Loveland Pass (el. 11,990 ft/3,655 m) on the Continental Divide, where the snow never melts. I'd be happy to vandalize either place with a sticker too.

The Embarcadero (& nearby Wharf) in San Francisco is awesome. Definitely among my favorite places to visit in the bay area. :)

Obviously, we have NYC covered if he would have liked NYC. Or you can do that yourself next time you're up here! :D

Awesome idea. I really like it, and I bet he would too. :*

I doubt he would have enjoyed cold boring Wisconsin. I'll help if you wish, even though Wisconsin isn't on your list.

I just think this is such a great idea and the offers to help out are incredible. I just love TFP. :p

if I were scattering me (born and bred local skater) in san diego, I'd choose belmont park in mission beach. the days of rumbling with the pigs are long gone, imo, but it still hosts badass parties and cool bars, hot HOT women strolling around in bikinis all year long, a nifty little wooden rollercoaster, and MB/PB hosts the fuckn x-games!

I cruise home every couple weeks from the OC, so easy peasy for me to do.
in the interim, I can hit long beach if he's interested.

Sweet - you guys are awesome! Pip, Smooth, Oberon, Jess, PM me your snail mail addresses and I'll send 'em along when I get the stickers!

And raeanna, since Wisconsin was just next door (we grew up in MN) I bet he'd love to be scattered anywhere there are local skater punks. :)

I love you guys.

lurkette

im in sydney australia ..if i can be of help.

Beautiful! Sydney is where we were planning to travel together. It would be wonderful if you could scatter some ashes. PM me your address.

The stickers should be ready in a week or so, and then I'll start mailing ashes around!

anywhere in particular you were thinking of visiting in sydney?

I'm in for Vancouver. was there any place special he had mentioned?

PM me and I'll help any way I can.

i'm near splck too...........a whole shitload of skate parks here.

Awesome - maybe the two of you could do a mini-meetup to scatter them, or I could send ashes to both of you and you could hit multiple skate parks. Let me know what works best for you. thanks!

i'm in.


pm on it's way

Flyman and I meet-up on a somewhat regular basis, so that won't be a problem.

Hey folks, just an update - haven't forgotten about this! I've been hella busy. But I have the baggies, I have the stickers, and I have the envelopes and a list of addresses. I'll PM folks who have said they'd be willing to help but who haven't yet sent me their snail mail addies. Everyone else, keep your eyes peeled! I'll be sending the ashes your way this weekend.

Many heartfelt thanks - I can't tell you how much this means to me. You all are the best.:love:

We have a skate park here in town, I'd be more than happy to help. I have access to a digital cam, so I'll shoot ya a pm when I get home from work.

Thanx for the update Lurkette, was starting to wonder :)

If you have any more you want to get out there:
I'm in Central PA. If you want, I could take some ashes to our Colonial Courthouse. It's where the Articles of Confedration was signed by the Continental Congress back in 1777. It's where we started the nation.
Or to the track of the York Fair, the oldest - still operating fair in the nation.
Doing both would be considered trespass/illegal.

I know it's not a skate park or other places he liked. But the offer's there if you like.
Or if you want anywhere in the general Harrisburg, PA (York, Lancaster, Cumberland etc...) I can do that.

I'm in!

London, England for the Tony Hawks Pro Skater London level that i'm sure he played. I can go to the Southbank and get some pics with the skaters there, its the best place in London to skate

See halfway down the page - it seems more appropriate for his personality!

http://www.viewlondon.co.uk/home_fea...teboarding.asp

PM me and i'll provide my address.

Jersey? Maybe off the ramp at the top of the triple chair at the Hidden Valley ski resort? Not a skate park, but lots of winter leaning skate-rat snow boarder types seem to get a kick out of the place....as do the rest of us :thumbsup:

Without any undue disrespect, I could also feed the ashes to one of my guinea hens, then use their "movements" to fertilize a King Crimson Maple (or what ever species you desire) sapling which in 20 or 30 years would stand as a moving tribute to skate punks everywhere?

Just throwing out what I've got to offer, and I'd be happy to oblige.

-bear

w00t! All of these offers are great - PA, England, Jersey, all sound perfect. Please PM me the snail mail addy to which you'd like the package sent and I'll add you to the project!

You all are wonderful.

OK, it's finally done. I'm sorry it's taken me so long - I like to think I'm dealing pretty well with Josh's death, 3 years after the fact, but it still takes working up some gumption to actually send "him" off. I tell you, cremains are weird...it's hard to look at them and think "this was my brother." It just really hits me that he's gone, gone, gone.

No worries - about 10 minutes in, it was all gallows humor and wondering how much 1 scoop of ashes is - is it a liver? A leg?

Sorry...maybe too gallows for some folks.

At any rate, thank you again to everyone who's volunteered so far to help, and if you wanted to scatter some ashes but haven't sent me your address, please PM me and I'll send some along.

I'd like this to be not just a way of sending my brother's spirit to places he never got to see, but also of spreading his memory, so I've sent along some stickers with a picture of him and the memorial website address so skater punks and others will hopefully see it and visit the site and know who my brother was and what he meant to me.

Love to you all.

My little bit has arrived safe and sound. I'm debating on waiting a tad till we get a warm spell. There are no kids around the skate park right now cause it's covered in over 6 inches of snow. We should get one more warm spell before winter hits full force. Let me know if it matters to you if there's kids around. If not I know a couple skater kids who'd probably appreciate the stickers and check out the site.

Hey Raeanna -

It doesn't matter so much if there are kids around when you scatter the ashes. But hand out the stickers to the kids who will like them :) Thanks!

Hey, just to let you know, I've got a bit of Josh here in Japan. I have the perfect place at a park near my house. There is a uber-cool fountain, and lots af skate kids. I'll be burning some incense and setting him free. The stickers are way cool! I'll see if I can get some video, but pictures, for sure.

Ok my little pice arrived safe and sound, and have now been laid to rest just beside the local skislope. I hope the images I sent will be of good enough quality even though the weather wasn't the best.

/R

Thank you thank you thank you thank you!!! :icare:

My little piece of Josh also arrived recently. i don't have access to digital video but i could do a VHS-C tape if you would like. This would actually be easier than pictures right now. I noticed one of the things that his friends happened to mention a few times was Josh's El Camino. I will be delivering part of Josh to the local skate park in my 1981 El Camino (I thought it only right). If you would like I can hang on to some of him until this spring and spread some of him at Crater Lake National Park and some of him at HARRIS BEACH STATE PARK as well

Josh arived here safe and sound. I've got trips to Detriot, Knoxville, NYC, Tampa and Minneapolis planned in the next 3 weeks. He'll go on all those trips, although not all of him will make it back.

josh arrived earlier this week. josh will be coming on a visit with me to sydney harbour next week most likely. he'll see the parts of sydney that he was going to see with lurkette. i may take a kayak out if weather permits.

CJ - can you get pictures of you and "Josh" in/in front of the El Camino? That would be too perfect! :thumbsup: And VHS-C would be fine! I think it'd be great to hang onto some until the spring, if you don't mind a um...houseguest for that long ;)

The Jazz- Man, that's a busy schedule!!! I can't wait to see the results. :)

dlishguy - Kayak - w00t!!! That will be perfect!

This makes me happier than you guys can know :)

Anywhere in southern or central Ontario is at your disposal. Me and my best friend Steve aren't skaters, but we're notorious for taking random road trips and this would be as good a reason to get behind the wheel as any I've ever thought of. I reckon I can get out Hamilton or London way if it pleases ya - I'd prefer to keep the trip under 250 km, but if you have some specific place here that you've a burning desire to see a bit of Josh go to, I reckon I can flex that a bit. Outside of that, there is a small skate park here in town - even if you don't think Josh would like little ol' Lindsay, ON, I reckon I could make use of a few of those stickers.

Offer extended. Lemme know.

I didn't have time in Detroit, but some of Josh was left in Knoxville over the weekend along with some stickers. Unfortunately my cell phone didn't have any juice, so pictures of the site will have to wait until the next time I'm down there, which should be spring.

lurkette,

i took josh out kayaking yesterday. i went to Middle Harbour which is within Sydney Harbour. found a small beach while kayaking that seemed like the perfect place for Josh. so after kayaking and showing josh round our beautiful harbour, i left joshs' spirit at Castle Rock Beach.

amazingly, when i released Josh into the harbour in knee deep water at exactly 10.00am on the 9th of December 2006, his ashes swirled round me as if to give me a huge hug. He lingered around for a minute or two. then he left to do his own thing, as i put stickers up at the beach for him.

ive taken some pics . will be sending them your way in the next few days.

that's awesome dlish... what a great moment...

Martian-

Small towns need Josh the most! He grew up in a pissant little town, and kids who are different and pushing people's buttons would be the people he sought out :) Please send me your snail addy and I'll send him along.

Dlish, this gives me goosebumps. That's such a beautiful image, and such a perfect way to send him off. When we had the memorial for him in California for his friends, we held it at Venice Beach, where he loved to skate. I had some of his ashes in plastic bags with white chrysanthemums, and we waded out to let them go. It was so beautiful watching those blossoms and the ashes just float for a moment before the next wave caught them and carried them out and dispersed them...such a lovely metaphor. Thank you for showing him the harbor - he especially wanted to see Sydney and it makes me immeasurably content to know that he saw it and was released with love and care. Thank you so very much. :icare:

Hey Lurkette

Josh arrived in Toronto a couple of days before I did and got to hang out with my wife a kids for a few days. He then spent the rest of my Christmas vacation visiting my relatives for various Christmas feasts. I managed to show him a bit of the land around my father-in-law's cottage just north of Picton, Ontatrio. It's quite lovely. We actually got a bit of snowfall.

I had no trouble getting him through Singapore customs and he's now hanging out in my room awaiting further adventures. As I mentioned, I am supposed to be going to Phuket this February as well as another trip to the south of France. There is a fantastic skate park not too far from my apartment.

I will send you some pictures and keep you up to date as we move around.

Cheers

Charlartan

Hey just saw this tread if you want and still up to it.. send me a PM.. here in louisiana they have a skate park they are building to get us "hoodlems" off the public rails and sidewalks.. they are gonna be done with it in 2008. If you want i can put his ashes in my friends concrete truck and he can be apart of it all in the end.. LET ME KNOW!!!

I didn't read the whole thread... but if there's anything in Belgium (Europe) you would like something to happen, I'm your man...

Fuck, yeah! That would be wonderful - please send me your snail mail address and I'll send along some ashes. What a great opportunity! ThankS!

If you'd like to spread some ashes somewhere in Belgium, let me know where to send them and I'll send some along. Thanks!

interested in what you're doing
 

We're a documentary team making a film about ashes. I found this site via Google and am interested in what you're doing. Would anyone like to give us more info? Who's the person, have the ashes been spread....would you be interested in being a part of this?

Lurkette - This is the most beautiful idea for honouring your brother's spirit. I've just read through the thread with tears in my eyes. I know splck and fly have spoken for vancouver, but if I recall they're both a bit more inland than me. There's a skatepark in my city that overlooks the water. If you'd like, I could help Josh visit.

Josh has a great sister :icare:

lurkette - this is really beautiful. I just saw this today, and went to your website and read everything. Your love for your brother is obvious, made me cry, and this is truly a wonderful way to remember and honour him.

Toronto
 

To help spread Josh's remains, I finally picked an area behind Roy Thomson Hall, a big performing arts venue here in Toronto. I used to worked there and I remember skaters would always use the public space behind it to try out moves. Even though it's a "public" space, it's pretty much in the financial district... I'm pretty sure I remember kids being told to move along by the cops there one time.

http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c1...k/S3000008.jpg

http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c1...k/S3000004.jpg

http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c1...k/S3000009.jpg

Josh's ashes were buried in a small garden in this area. From the flower bed can be seen the CN Tower and the CBC building:

http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c1...k/S3000012.jpg

http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c1...k/S3000007.jpg

I left the stickers Lurkette had made up, and the skaters you can see in the photos all got some.

http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c1...k/S3000010.jpg

http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c1...k/S3000003.jpg

http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c1...k/S3000011.jpg

Lurkette, this was such a great idea and I'm glad I could be a part of it.

i know this has been ages, but this has always been one of my favourite threads.

Josh and Lurkette just popped in my head after i was thinking about the kayaking i used to do in Sydney Harbour. I wonder if those stickers are still there where i put them up. there is only one place to find out when im back there soon :)

everytime i think of Middle Harbour in Sydney i think of Josh. Hope he's in a good place.

If the offer is still open,I live on a small island of the coast of Seattle and would be happy to help...PM me if you want

I lost my son-in-law when he was 30 and we still have his ashes...am going to put them in the Straits of Jan de Fuca.....

xoxoxoo

Unfortunately, my pics of this were corrupted, however Josh did get to ride in my El Camino to spread his ashes at Crater Lake National Park, in Oregon.

I can do arizona if you want.

I'll have to find mine too. He's off of Lake Shore Drive at a skate park.

oops... sorry, didnt realize this thread is super old... should pay more attention sorry..

Just now seeing this thread.
It's brought tears of happiness to me to see the sense of brotherhood and compassion from such a widespread group of people. It really does give me hope for the future.
Thank you, guys.

My heart goes out to you and your family, lurkey.

i'm at the United States Air Force Academy and theres oodles of (unauthorized) skating here or there's a mountain called Eagle's Peak if you really want them to go far and wide.

pm me if it sounds like something he'd be in to

Well, I told my mom when I die I want to be cremated and have my ashed scattered on her living room floor so she could clean up after me one last time. That got my a slap in the back of the head.

While there are not many cool places in Tucson, there are a LOT of "No Skating" signs all over down town Tucson. I could get one of those finger skate board and send some of his ashes past one or two of them for ya. :)

guys this thread is from 2006. i bumped it cos i was reminiscing about my kayaking days in sydney when i thought of the time i took Lurkettes brother to Sydney Harbour.

who knows..she may indeed have some his ashes left over. ratbastid would know best.