Zodiac Signs

[DaniGirl]

Its funny and at times scary how true it fits to most peoples personality.


Signs of the Zodiac

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb 18) - You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a jerk.

PISCES (Feb 19-Mar 20) - You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have a minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a general loser.

ARIES (Mar21-Apr 20) - You are the pioneer type and think most people are quick-tempered, impatient, and scornful of advice. You are a prick.

TAURUS (Apr 21-May 20) - You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a communist.

GEMINI (May 21-Jun 20) - You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest.

CANCER (Jun 21-Jul 22) - You are sympathetic and understanding to other peoples problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a penny. Everybody in prison is a Cancer.

LEO (Jul 23-Aug 22) - You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you're an idiot. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving sods and spend most of their lives kissing mirrors.

VIRGO (Aug 23-Sep 22) - You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nitpicking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while having sex. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.

LIBRA (Sep 23-Oct 22) - You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you are male, you are probably queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venereal disease.

SCORPIO (Oct 23-Nov 21) - The worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are a perfect S.O.B.. Most Scorpios are murdered.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22-Dec 21) - You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarius' are drunks. You are not worth the time of day.

CAPRICORN (Dec 22-Jan 19) - You are conservative and are afraid of taking risks. You are basically spineless. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. Become a monk.

[Xerxys]

HOLY SHIZNAT!!

SCORPIO (Oct 23-Nov 21) - The worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are a perfect S.O.B.. Most Scorpios are murdered.

Here's some more ...

ARIES
You tend to be headstrong and deliberate in your actions. Basically you don't give a fuck about anyone. Most people hate you but you couldn't care less. You're the type of person who would masturbate at a wedding.

TAURUS
Warm and caring are your most endearing characteristics. You get on well with most people because you're bisexual. You hardly ever wear underwear and you constantly smell of piss.

GEMINI
Your star sign denotes an air of duality in your character. Simply, you're a neurotic schizophrenic. A real fucking weirdo, the type of person who'd kill them self to win a bet.

CANCER
You have a businesslike attitude to life and a knack for making money. You're an unscrupulous bastard who would sell relative's limbs to buy a mobile phone. You are likely to be murdered.

LEO
The adventurous type, always looking for thrills and willing to try anything. In other words, stupid. You have the IQ of a garden snail and will never amount to anything. Most Leos are living on the welfare.

VIRGO
You like the good things in life and you know how to enjoy them. But you're prone to bullshitting and you're a cheap bastard. Virgo men are usually queers and the majority of Virgo women are whores.

LIBRA
You are the forgiving type and you don't bear grudges. This makes you an asshole. For your entire life people will make a complete prick out of you. Nobody will go to your funeral.

SCORPIO
You are sharp, a quick thinker and good at puzzles. However these are your only good traits. You screw small animals and love picking your nose. You should become a stunt performer with no helmet.

SAGITTARIUS
You are gorgeous and divine and everybody wants to be like you. However other jealous signs will say that you are the romantic mushy type, soft-hearted and a lover of the arts. You are likely to import Dutch pornography and sex toys. Men even willing to rent Sleepless In Seattle to increase your odds for a romp in the sack.

CAPRICORN
You are deep and personal in your thoughts, the quiet type. A mean self-centered cunt and a closet homosexual. Your best friend is probably an altar boy.

AQUARIUS
You are the academic type and will probably end up working in the legal system. This means you are an absolute pervert, at the least a transvestite. Your ideal sexual partner is a Labrador puppy wearing fishnet tights.

PISCES
You are the eternal optimist, seeing the best of any situation. You have no grasp of reality and live in a dream world. Most people consider you to be the greatest living moron. You will continually fail. You're a prick

***********

Aries: much aggressive, primitiv and hard. By a narrow margin remembers a protozoa a belongings. Usually occupied that that searches new gates for itself.

Vulgar, soul ajar, likes a beer and acerbic funs. In the childhood dreams of the quarry wailled and so constantly begins fights. In household lifes its is necessary constantly keep a little farther from the money - all will spend instant, but where - does not know.

In the society stodgy, Aries can hours to speak of itself, not noticing the others. In the drunk type prone to the rampage and scandals.



Taurus: small-minded, boring, booticker.

In lifes thought-out and executes all instructions of leader. Shows itself an altruist (woman - sufferring), but indeed all despises, brushed off itself world centre.
Likes a wealth: digs скрытно and untiring. Ready to remove a last shirt, but not with itself, but with near. Seven terrorizes from childhood and before deep old age, though outwardly seems polite.

Taurus does not entrust nobody, even itself.



Twins: eternal child - as savvy, so and in feelings.

Be adult refuses completely and more often lives to the someone else account before deep old age. Single that likes indeed - to speak, transfusing from put in empty. Reads little, but on all has its opinion, which changes once ten, twelve at a week.

Often becomes an actor or writer. Not stand voltages, nor mental nor physical. Twin adores to take the guests, but regales their at the best tea, but usually - its chatters.



The Cancer: loser on opredeleniyu.

The Conservative shipped in pride. Does Not change the beliefs, but argue loves to поиздеваться on enemy and grow in own greater eye. With awe can attack first, but, seen danger, takes refuge the flight in its burrow - a place, which cherishes on svete. most of all

The Cancer with pleasure bad speaks of all l, builds from itself master of the position, making type strong and certain person. Indeed all is afraid before colics, loves the solitude and pokoy.



Lion: from the infancy prone to the drunkenness and extortion. In other deals very lazy. Extorts money beside parents, beside friend then and familiar.

Its too supercilious pride and pride can poison a life any, but gluttony - to ravage any pocket. Likes that the whole world revolved around it. So always and in all tends be the first, but if this is not got - becomes small and is noticeably shortenned in sizes.

Beside Lion unflinching own greatness feeling, own value and faultlessness.



Virgo: charm of elephant, wit of rabbit.

Small-minded, buying up, boring and peevish. Pedantry of Virgo does its unbearable both on work, and building. Their own nags it capable to ruin any deal and bring any before white roasting. It never improvises, forming most detailed most boring plans of actions for itself and their own close, not review on their protests. In all beside it cool calculation, all that it does - heavy, solid and boring.

Besides, she master of intrigues and if beside she will appear enemies, Virgo will not be becalmed, until destroy delete their sort before the tenth knee.



Scales: both hands - left.

Humour Feeling and love for honour - in the germinal condition. Never no nor money, nor in amorous deals good luck, does not carry it nor in the house, nor on work. Can Not nor earn, nor flash. Pathological can not come to a conclusion, begin to quake small will tremble, are coverred afterwards and swoon, so all deciding for them in lifes take the others.

Scales like to show from itself connoisseurs of art, often write tearful memoirs



Sagittarius: most often looks a glad idiot and nearly always such is.

Its optimism of fool and pushy does not cool nothing, even brick from roofs on the head. Having Spoken To him minutes five, wants its quickly and painlessly terminate. From childhood likes to obtrude all its society and their own fool ideas. Aggressive optimistic, in joint lifes representing mass an intercede.

Likes to tell lies and invent. Sagittarius likes crowd, noisy gathering and place, where possible on robe eat and drink.



Capricorn: hard, cool and heartlessness, as an iceberg.

In the house it gendarme, on work - a tyrant. In the suppression other sees a sense its lifes, clings and nags on trivialities, completely poured humour feelings. Beats the children and terrorizes a spouse (spouse). Retreats before physical power or psychic pressure only. Savvy primitiv, without the flight of fantasy, but vengeful and ill: never and nobody nothing does not forgive.

Rare combination of maniac-depressive greatness with the complex of inferiority with minimum mental and psychic abilities. So Capricorn always blade in chiefs.



Aquarius: visionary and daydreamer, completely torn away from real lifes.

Never will return the lend money, because, having lent, then and there spends and forgets. Constantly breaks their own promises, does not like to work. Specifies and waters a dirt their own close, always for their spin-echo. Has manitou to rough gastronomies and vulgar fantasy, which buies up in incredible amounts.

Furlough an Aquarius conducts in some hole, since all money, postponed on it, fighter on the realization of one of the projects on rescuing a mankind, which beside it - a pond ponds.



The Scorpion: very dangerous, even on distance.

Change, defraud, from one pleasure to destroy. The Sadists and masochists simultaneously. Do Not be squeamish about no facility for achievement of the purposes. Not feel sorry power and facilities, create about itself good opinion to afterwards treasonous to knock with rear. The Quarry do, going on dead body. If he has said that values the твою a friendship, signifies hour back has written on you complaint to chief.

The Scorpion adores the shallow anecdotes and pornographic filims.



Fish: live can not without defrauding and dirty trick.

Tell Lies Usually to such an extent that themselves can not define, where beside them truth, but where lie. Fish disagrees to itself, outcry continuously, but has not from this no advantage, enterring on the principle of art for the sake of arts.

Besides, Fish much likes to sift through the dirty linen of the others, writhe from itself home psychoanalysis and hereon sale someone else secrets and revelations.

To Work and in general anything do does not like and does not can, force its practically impossible - don't care Fish will slip out and run away.

[bobby]

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22-Dec 21) - You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarius' are drunks. You are not worth the time of day.

SAGITTARIUS
You are gorgeous and divine and everybody wants to be like you. However other jealous signs will say that you are the romantic mushy type, soft-hearted and a lover of the arts. You are likely to import Dutch pornography and sex toys. Men even willing to rent Sleepless In Seattle to increase your odds for a romp in the sack.


and that's my good side.....see scorpio (I,m on the cusp) for my bad side !

xoxoxoo

[DaniGirl]

Originally Posted by bobby

SAGITTARIUS
You are gorgeous and divine and everybody wants to be like you. However other jealous signs will say that you are the romantic mushy type, soft-hearted and a lover of the arts. You are likely to import Dutch pornography and sex toys. Men even willing to rent Sleepless In Seattle to increase your odds for a romp in the sack.


and that's my good side.....see scorpio (I,m on the cusp) for my bad side !

xoxoxoo

well this explains your avatar!!!