Just say "Yes" to telemarketers
 

YES.

yes indeed my friend, yes indeed.

fuck, thats brutal. that truly is the most effective strategy.

When I worked as a telemarketer, I loved these "strategies" that people would come up with like setting the phone down or telling them a story, asking if THEY'd like to be called during dinner, yada yada. I was given bonuses based on my "average call time", meaning how long I kept them on the phone. When people put the phone down, I knew it was payyyydayyyyy... :)

But saying yes would've totally fucked me up, because I would've been even more excited that I was finally making a sale.

The word "yes" lost all meaning about half way through. The rest was a trip.

Said by my ex to a telemarketer who was trying to sell phone service - I dont have a phone (while talking on the phone). And he maintained this stance.

I always wonder about people who devise these elaborate 'strategies' for dealing with telemarketers. It makes me think that they have nothing better to do with their free time. I mean, I'm getting paid to sit and talk on the phone all day. What's your excuse?

Also, I can complete a sale using entirely yes or no questions with only positive responses. Keep that in mind the next time you decide to try this.

Jinn, I'm inclined to say that if sales were a rare enough event that you got excited about them either your product sucked or you're not a very good salesman.

Bottom line is this 'strategy' really doesn't do very much at all other than waste a few minutes of your day. The guy on the other side of the phone is getting paid regardless and therefore probably doesn't care.

I would imagine selling phone service over the phone would be a difficult pitch. "Hi I'm talking to you on the very thing that I want to convince you isn't good enough..." I've sold a lot of shit in my time, but even I would probably have a low success rate in that field.

Yea. Trying to convince someone to switch their long distance carrier on a land-line that they probably don't use anymore to save 2cents a minute is a tough sell. PARTICULARLY because you're selling blind to people who don't want to be solicited. It's a bit different than b2b sales, since the other business is presumably interested in your product.

We worked in five hour shifts from 5pm to 10pm, as most people really don't like telemarketing calls during the morning/afternoon, and most people are also working. By doing 5pm to 10pm, we were able to hit all the time zones in the prime hours. In a five-hour shift, you averaged about 100 calls per hour or about 500 calls per night. Thereby in a 25 hour work week, we'd average 2500 calls. Our goal was three sales in that time period. So if you managed to sell 3 people out of 2500, you were doing very well and would get a $100 bonus for that week. If you BY SOME MIRACLE OF DIVINE INTERVENTION managed to double your goal (6 sales), you'd get a $1000 bonus for the week.

So yea, it's just like modern-day spammers.. it's all about the numbers. Someone will eventually cave.

Really? We had an average we had to stay below to keep our job. Then again, ours was inbound high-volume infomercial stuff.

Our call center had two celebrities: Mr. Masturbator and Operaman. Mr. M. would call back until he got a female operator and then just keep her on the line while he...er...rather breathily took care of business.

Operaman would just play music for us without ever saying anything. I'll admit I took a couple operaman calls during rushes and was glad for the break...we always suspected it was an exemployee.

Holy shit, were you selling death? My sales conversion rate on a $400 self help tape set ('attacking anxiety') from people who were just calling for a free pamphlet was 78%, and I wasn't even on the AA focus team. We got $9 a sale, and we'd get 15-20 calls for it in a 6 hour shift. That was in addition to all the bose and golf clubs and diet pills and makeup we sold in between.

I didn't quit that job for the money, that's for sure.

Inbound vs. outbound. When you're doing inbound, like I mentioned, people are at least partially sold on your product already. They wouldn't have called if they weren't.

Outbound (blind dialing) is a totally different game, where you're getting random joe shmoe who might not even own the phone line he answered, nonetheless want to spend the time buying something when he was probably in the middle of something else. Likewise, a lot of those calls would be answering machines, fax lines, etc. Not all 2500 were actual people. And of those 2500, most hung up before you introduced yourself.

"Hey, Customer Name, my name is ____ and I'm calling to save you some money on your *CLICK*"

Federal law required that we identify ourselves by name and company, so most people got the tip-off immediately that they should hang up on us.

I had people tell me they were in the middle of having sex, middle of having dinner, painting the kitchen, etc, etc.

I also worked in a division called HSN, where Home Shopping Network would sell us reams of numbers for everyone who called in to buy something. Our goal was 3 sales per week, but other divisions had different goals. There was another team called "Winback" who were calling people who had previously been our customers but had switched to another carrier. Their goal was like 12, because it's considerably easier to get someone who has already been your customer. They got all sorts of promotions they could offer if you switched, too.

And yea, selling phone lines telemarketing style is a lot like selling death.

We had mandatory suicide-prevention meetings every two weeks to remind people that the people you were calling were saying "not interested" to the company, not to you. It's actually surprising how much of an effect having 2500 people a week tell you you're a piece of shit, they're not interested or just scream at you makes you feel.

One of the first things I learned in this business is that you won't get anywhere if you don't have a thick skin. I see a lot of people who come and go just because they can't handle the stress/abuse/whatever. Me, I just don't care. You want to sit and yell at me? Great, gives me a chance to do my crossword. I'm still getting paid either way.

If I were only making three sales a week it's possible I wouldn't have a job by now. In my segment that is considered very poor performance. On a good night I'll double your weekly goal. I work for a major US bank selling credit services, though, so maybe that's the difference.

I really don't understand why people do stuff like the above. It makes no sense when the US has a national DNC list and companies in other countries maintain individual ones. Even before I got into this line of work, I always thought stuff like that was immature and not very funny. After all, the guy on the other side is just trying to make a living and it beats the hell out of flipping burgers. If you really are that bothered by people soliciting you to offer you a service (which, as an aside, may be superior to what you already have), just ask to be placed on the do not call list. Bam, you're good for five years.

Funnily enough, being on the receiving end I've always found the most effective way to deal with telemarketers is to listen to what they say and then tell them I'm not interested. That's always stopped the calls and has the added advantage that if I ever do get solicited for something I'm interested in having I'll get a chance to hear about it and make a decision.

It would bother me that they are using the phone line I am paying for to attempt to sell me things that I am not soliciting.

But that's why I'm on the DNC, don't own a television, don't listen to the radio, and don't click on ads on the internet.

Over the summer I worked the phones for my school, which also meant I had to call prospective students. We were given a script to follow, which I found would get pure hang ups.

"Hi my name is -someone you don't know- and I am with-" *CLICK*

Change that to:

"Is -first name of student- there?" - "Hi, -first name of student- expressed interest in the -the school I am trying to sell-. My name is -someone you don't know- with abbreviated name of school I am trying to sell-, and we are trying to get in contact to see if -so-n-so- is interested in -something that happens to be going on-." I follow the rules: got my name and company, just not in an order that would confuse people that I was a telemarketer.

How do you know what to buy?! :eek:

Absolutely. There was a few different buttons I had on the keyboard to match the outcome of the call. If it dialed and got an answering machine, I'd hit F5 ("Answering Machine"). If it was a fax line, I'd hit F6. If I called and started my speel and they said "NOT INTERESTED!", were rude or simply hung up, I'd hit F10. F10 was "Call Back Scheduled 24 Hours" which meant that someone would call them back in 24+ hours. If they shouted "PUT ME ON THE DO NOT CALL LIST!!!" and hung up before I could verify they were 18 and the decision maker for the phone (legal requirement) I'd again hit F10. There were all sorts of coded acronyms used by staff to identify customers, so I might add a few choice acronyms to describe just how friendly they were.

On the other hand, if they were reasonable, listened to my schpeel and then politely said they were busy, or not interested, or that they didn't think they'd save money, then I'd hit F11. F11 brought up the Callback screen, and I could set a Callback interval. The polite ones got "Call Back 6 Months", our longest interval. I'd also put in the comments things like "Nice, polite, DNB"

I know. It's downright unpatriotic.

It's also why I don't have much stuff -- I don't have anyone telling me I need stuff.

Although I'm looking into furniture. I've heard sofas are nice.

Here's a sofa you might like:
http://www.thinkartificial.org/aesth...e-sofa-design/